When Beth wakes she's confused at first by the solid heat nestled against her front, and the feeling of hair between her stirring fingers. Looking down, she sees Daryl's head pillowed across her stomach and beyond that his naked back. Her eyes stop with sobering focus on the violent scars, glaring stark and vivid in the beams of sunlight falling across his skin.
Her jaw tightens as she sees them clearly for the first time, lit up in all their sick and twisted glory. Age has dulled them some, since Daryl got them when he was just a boy, yet they are as prominent on his flesh as the ink decorating his shoulder blade. The pain he must have endured is unfathomable to her. It makes her angry in a way she doesn't recognise. Her blood runs cold with the urge to take the life of the man who did this to Daryl and the cold fire in her belly tells her that she could if he weren't already dead.
Her fingers card through Daryl's hair absently and he starts to stir.
"M'sorry," She mumbles softly, her voice thick with sleep, "Didn' mean t' wake you."
Daryl turns his head, rubbing his jaw against her belly, tickling her bare skin with his stubble as he squeezes her where she's caged in between his huge arms.
Tipping his head back, he blinks up at her, his face soft with sleep. Then their eyes catch and he freezes.
"What the hell happened?" He demands, his voice rough but quavering at the edge with just a hint of fear.
His hands are up and turning her face to get a closer look before he's finished speaking, thick fingers tracing her swollen cheekbone. She flinches when the pad of his thumb presses into her bruise and she feels the tremor that runs through Daryl as his hands spring away.
"Beth?" He moves his head into her line of sight forcing her to meet his eyes. When she does they're wild and unsettled, pained.
She doesn't know what to say, but her hesitation says enough; it says it all. She watches something shatter in his gaze as realisation dawns on his face.
"I did this?" His voice trembles at the edges, begging for it not to be true. She would do anything to be able to tell him no, anything except lie to him.
"It was an acc-"
His face twists as he jerks his head back, violently recoiling from her words.
"Don't."
"Daryl…"
He shakes his head, "Don' make excuses for what I did."
He's looking anywhere but at her. He's glaring at his hands like they've betrayed him. Beth knows he's not looking at her because he can't;because it hurts when he does. His pain is as palpable as it was last night, polluting the air between them and making it hard to breathe. She feels it in her chest, aching with each shallow inhale.
She feels him start to pull away and the ache turns to a burn, raging in protest. Every muscle pulls too tight and then something inside her snaps.
No.
He doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to pull away. Not while her heart still beats. She won't let him.
Beth reaches forward and laces her fingers with his. When he makes to move his hand away she squeezes hers tight, so tight his startled eyes fly up to hers.
"You won't ever leave me," She tells him plaintively, throwing his own words back at him and taking no pleasure in the agony that ripples across his face.
"Beth," He rasps, her name crawling out of his throat like a safe word.
Her heart stutters in pain, but she doesn't relent, "You promised."
Daryl looks down, staring at their linked fingers. He gnaws at the inside of his lip, his eyes locked and shining.
When he speaks his voice is raw, broken.
"You ain't safe with me no more."
Beth swallows down the urge to cry, blinking back hot tears and tightening her fingers around his rough callouses.
"Daryl, look at me," She whispers.
There's a beat and then he reluctantly lifts his gaze to meet hers. His head bowed painfully deep against his broad chest in the perfect juxtaposition of strength and weakness. His eyes ripple as fear flows in and out of him like a tide.
"We're safe when we're together," She says, stroking the pad of her thumb over his knuckle. Feeling his fingers twitch beneath hers, she drops her gaze to their joined hands. His huge and tanned fingers entwined with her slim white digits.
"Safe as we can be, anyway," She concedes, rolling her head back to gaze at the side of his downturned face.
She can see him wrestling with it: his need to be with her verses his fear of hurting her. But she also knows the former will win out. Knows that the pull she has on him mirrors the one he has on her; it cannot be denied or ignored. To be apart, now, after everything, would break him. She knows that because it would break her. Beth could live without him, yes, she could breathe, but she wouldn't be whole.
When she pulls his hand into her lap and he lets her she knows the fight is over. Curling her other hand around his knuckles, she holds his huge hand between hers. His palm burns hot against hers. She lifts their hands up and presses a feather-light kiss to his worried thumb, kicking an explosive breath out from behind his bitten lips.
"You're not like your daddy," Beth says softly. She feels his entire body go ramrod straight at her words, but she needs to say it. He needs to hear it.
"This isn't like that. This was an accident," She tells him gently but firmly, watching his face twist in discomfort, "You could never hurt me on purpose, it's not in you."
He raises his eyes to look at her from behind his hair, wary and with a question.
"What makes ya so sure?" He asks, his voice low and rough as it scrapes it's way past his throat.
"Because I know you," Beth says, the corners of her mouth tugging up. She can't help but smile because she's never been so sure of anything in her life than the heart of gold beating in Daryl Dixon's chest.
The awed look on his face is like a magnet, and she finds herself leaning forward to press her lips against his.
He whines plaintively, letting his mouth fall open beneath hers. There's a quickening inside her when his hot palm finds the bare skin on the small of her back and she suddenly remembers their state of undress. She lets go of his hand only to loop her arms around his thick neck and press their torsos flush together. Her hand slides against the back of his neck, slick with sweat from the heat of his palm, as she crawls into his lap.
While at other times their coming together has been frantic or heated, this is neither of those things. Tangled together, they explore each other's mouths, softly seeking skin and meeting each other's unspoken need for nothing more than proximity. Daryl's hands are hesitant as he carefully cups the back of her neck, burying his fingers in her loose hair; torn between not trusting himself to touch her and being unable not to.
When they pull apart, Beth watches Daryl's eyes flash with hurt as they take in her face, tracking the swollen bruise across her cheek.
She lifts her hand to cup his face, her thumb dragging across his sharp cheekbone. Warily, he does the same, his hand mirroring hers to curl around her jaw, thumb hovering over the apple of her cheek. This time when his thumb ghosts across her plump cheekbone she doesn't flinch. It's already healing. Soon the mark will fade, but Beth knows Daryl's guilt will linger even when it's gone.
When they eventually dress and make their way downstairs they discover the house is empty. Beth feels relief wash over her like a summer shower. She had been dreading Maggie's scrutiny upon seeing her face, and the knock on effect it would have on Daryl in his fragile state. Maggie's inevitable questions and Beth's attempts to dismiss them could easily shatter him all over again. They've still got to cross that bridge, but not this morning, thank God.
A scrawled note from Maggie lets them know that she is working with Deanna today, and that Glenn is going out on a run with Aiden. They aren't wasting any time in settling in to their new roles.
We all have jobs to do.
Looking across the kitchen at Daryl, shoulders hunched and eyes downcast, Beth remembers that they have jobs too.
On the way to Aaron's, they pass Jessie's house. Beth sees Daryl's jaw tighten in the corner of her eye and feels her stomach do the same. Before they left the porch last night, Rick had said he would speak to Deanna today and inform her of what's going on with Pete and Jessie. She has exiled people before Beth had pointed out, but Rick said that would put the community in danger. There was only one way it would end, Carol insisted. Either way, it's Deanna's call.
Something doesn't sit right with Beth, leaving while this situation is hanging in the air like a bad smell. Rick's eyes are a piercing shade of blue and she just prays that he doesn't do anything stupid while they're gone. She's got that feeling in her stomach like when you leave the house and you're not sure if you've turned the stove off. But her focus is Daryl. He needs her right now, and he needs to be outside today; killing walkers and hunting.
Carol will have to keep an eye on Rick until they get back, then they can deal with this mess together. Tonight she'll talk to Maggie, hopefully she can bridge the gap between Deanna and Rick. They'll find a way to make it work.
Aaron's eyes linger on the side of Beth's face but he doesn't say anything, as she knew he wouldn't. He even has the decency to look faintly embarrassed when their eyes meet and it's clear he was staring. Thankfully, Daryl's attention is elsewhere, though on what Beth can't be sure. Maybe on tracking, maybe just lost in thought. She hopes the former, suspecting his thoughts aren't a safe place for him right now.
They're further out than before when they come across a paddock and in the middle of it there he is: Buttons.
For a moment, Beth is completely mesmerised, just watching him move with equine power and grace.
Horses remind Beth of home more than anything else. The familiar smell of horse sweat and hay fills her nose, despite being some distance from Buttons. It doesn't just remind her of home but the feeling of being safe and happy, confident and in control. The way she used to feel when she was in the saddle. No matter what troubles were on her mind, they all went away when she was riding. Then her field of vision widens and she sees them; the dead, circling him like crows.
"Gotta move quick. He's pinned in with 'em," Daryl grunts as he passes her, crossbow bouncing as he breaks into a run. Aaron races past her other shoulder and she follows close behind.
"I got the far ones," Daryl calls across to them, his sharp eyes quickly taking measure of the walkers.
In front of her, Aaron suddenly stumbles to the ground, tripping on a body hidden in the long grass. The same body lurches forward and grabs his leg, dragging him backwards. Daryl turns and strides back, putting his boot through the walker's skull in one brutal movement.
"Thanks," Aaron groans, lifting his shotgun as Beth keeps going, racing past them.
The sudden, deafening sound of Aaron's gunshot spooks Buttons and he rears back violently, hooves thrashing in the air. The whites of his eyes wave dangerously even from a distance as he panics, whinnying frantically and backing himself further into a corner. At least a dozen snarling walkers close in on him, rank limbs outstretched. He whinnies again, louder and more desperately, as they stumble closer, his frenzied cries drawing even more of them. He can't get away. There's too many. They're too close.
No.
Beth pushes forward, moving her legs faster and faster until they ache and her breath burns in her lungs. The walker closest to Buttons yanks its jaw open obscenely, yellow teeth parted and ready to sink into the horse's shining coat. Powered by her momentum, Beth knocks it out of the way using the full weight of her slight body. Darting through the opening she's created, Beth grabs hold of Button's mane and vaults up onto his back. Without giving him a moment to question what's happening, she fists her hands in the horse's hair and digs her heels gently into his flanks.
Go. Please, go.
Maybe he knows she's put her life on the line with his. Maybe he's smart enough to know the walkers are their common enemy. Maybe it's just muscle memory from before when he belonged to someone.
All Beth knows is they're suddenly in motion as Buttons canters forward.
Oh, thank God.
Holding on to his mane, Beth tugs on the left side, steering him away from the fence, and the groaning dead staggering close behind them. In the open space, Buttons speeds up and gallops past Daryl and Aaron's shocked faces. Beth clenches her thighs around his back, leaning forward and holding onto his withers, as she encourages him to put as much distance between them and the walkers as he needs.
For a moment they're flying. Everything fades away except the wind in her hair, the sun on her face and the steady motion of her horse beneath her. She could be back on the farm, racing Maggie across the fields or trying to out run the rain clouds back to the stables. It's everything she's ever known and lost.
When they near the other side of the paddock, Buttons gradually slows to a trot. With some effort, Beth eases her grip and stretches forward to flatten her palm against his smooth coat. He slows to a stop and she strokes her hand down his neck softly.
"Thank you," She whispers, letting out a shaky breath. She isn't entirely sure who saved who back there.
Turning her gaze back across the field she sees Daryl and Aaron running towards her, the walkers taken care of. The absence of any further gunshots tells her they must have taken them down by bow and knife. For that she is grateful. Gunshots upset him, she notes. Unfortunate, given the circumstances. Fortunately, Beth has experience with nervous horses. Nervous Nelly was her horse, after all, back on the farm. Daddy had been so mad when Daryl had taken her out and lost her. She'd been with them since she was just a filly; her nervous disposition only serving to deepen their affection for her.
When Daryl and Aaron see her looking their way they slow their pace, reassured that she isn't in any trouble. Buttons raises his head from where he's begun grazing and they come to a halt. Daryl's eyes connect with Beth's, checking in as he pulls rope from somewhere and makes a lasso. When Beth nods he gingerly takes a step forward. Buttons snorts and shuffles back, skittishly swishing his tail from side to side.
Leaning further forward, Beth smooths her hands down his neck.
"Shh, s'alright," She soothes, "He's with us."
Eyes trained on Buttons now, Daryl takes another measured step forward. The horse's nostrils flare soundlessly as he lets Daryl approach. Once he's a few feet away, Daryl stops, holding his hand out in front of him. Buttons stamps his hooves, tail swishing back and forth with uncertainty. Daryl doesn't move, standing his ground as Beth keeps petting his neck. After a long moment, he leans forward and nuzzles into Daryl's open palm.
Scratching the horse's nose with one hand, Daryl brings the rope up and over his ears with the other. Seemingly oblivious, Buttons begins pushing at Daryl's pockets in search of food, his ears forward and flickering, at ease between them.
Daryl's piercing blue eyes slide up to Beth's and she feels her heart swell as they lock with hers.
"Y'alright?" He rumbles.
She grins back at him, butterflies erupting in her chest. It's a win, and they could all do with a win right now.
"I'm good," She says, leaning back and letting some of the tension out of her legs, getting used to the seat beneath her.
"Girl, that was some real cowboy shit you pulled back there," Daryl smirks, running his hand up the horse's forehead.
Beth laughs, the grin on her face stretching from ear to ear with pure joy. She doesn't think she's ever seen Daryl look so impressed.
"Was ridin' 'fore I could walk," She says, rolling a shoulder.
Daryl holds her gaze, head tipping back as though taking her in and she feels a blush creep across her cheeks at the barely contained awe in his eyes.
As Aaron approaches slowly from the side, he holds his arm out, proffering an apple to Buttons on his outstretched palm. The horse takes it eagerly.
Aaron turns to Beth, an easy smile lighting up his face as Buttons mouths at his empty palm, "I knew you'd be good at this. First day on the job and you've already convinced your first recruit to come back with us."
