Rifiuto: Non Miriena

Thanks to Sazzita for reviewing 13 and 14.

She had looked over the papers time and again. They were the same papers Tim had given her months ago, but this time, Tim had attached a note, requesting that they go through with the process, despite Ziva's not having signed. He was asking, no, demanding, to be released from this... this bondage Ziva had trapped him in. She sat on the sofa in her apartment, cradling her belly, her tears dripping onto the papers. She couldn't have them filed, she refused, no matter Tim's feelings. Yes, Tim would still be there for her through the rest of her pregnancy, through the doctor's appointments, the baby shower and birthing classes, through her labor and the birth...

But as soon as the baby was born, he would be out of the picture, permanently, if she did as he requested and filed.

But she couldn't. She couldn't sign the papers, and she couldn't file.

The pain that had flashed in his eyes as he'd told her to had stopped her. And the realization that she was...

No, no way this could be the real reason she wouldn't file.

They had agreed, to remain friends; to have a baby together, and just remain as they were, instead of getting into the complicated strings of romance. Partners, best friends, no romantic entanglements whatsoever.

But, she realized, somewhere along the way, those romantic strings had attached themselves to their perfect plan, and, at some point, Tim had fallen in love with her, and she with him. Somewhere, between conceiving their little bug and now, love had entered the equation, making things even more convoluted than they already were. Now, Tim had handed over his rights to the baby, saying he wanted nothing to do with it after it was born, or its mother.

And that is probably what hurt the most: That he wanted nothing to do with either of them.

Taking a deep breath, she got up, grabbing her coat and leaving her apartment.


Gibbs looked up at the soft footsteps on the stairs. He saw Ziva, stepping onto the floor, hands on her lower back, her small belly protruding slightly in front of her. He silently noted the slight pop of her belly button, but what got him were the tears sliding down her cheeks. She moved towards him, sniffling. "What's wrong, Ziver?" Fresh tears raced down her cheeks and she held out the papers Tim had given her.

"He is asking to go through with the process as soon as she is born, Gibbs. He wants nothing to do with our baby or me..." She choked on a sob, as Gibbs briefly flicked through the papers. "I have not signed the papers, and I will not sign. Tim is Bug's father, he cannot just leave her like that, leave me. I do not know what to do, Gibbs. Please, tell me what to do."

He set the papers down and led Ziva to a bench, sitting her down before rushing upstairs and getting a glass of water for her. When he returned, he sat beside her, taking her hand, giving her his strength to continue. She sipped the water, tears running down her cheeks. "Bug?" She glanced at the glass, whispering,

"It is... a nickname..." He nodded, watching his youngest agent.

"I can't tell you what to do, Ziva." She looked up at him, fresh tears welling in her eyes. Her lower lip quivered, and she choked out,

"Then why is he doing this? Why is he acting this way, Gibbs?" The older man sighed, reaching down and taking Ziva's hand.

"He's scared, Ziva. He's fallen in love with you, and he's afraid you don't feel the same way; that... because of... Bug," He raised an eyebrow. "that you'll decide that you don't feel the same way, and so he's backing away before he gets hurt. What McGee doesn't realize, is that he's hurting you in the process." He stood, going back to work on the project he'd been sanding when she arrived. "But this is just my assumption. I haven't been a father for years, Ziver, but that is just my guess."

"What do I do, then?" She asked, hiccuping. Gibbs stopped working and turned to her. He watched her, seeing how young she looked, how lost and frightened. She cradled her belly, in an attempt to protect the baby from whatever pain she was feeling. He sighed.

"Give him some space, Ziver. Let him get his head together. But don't pressure him. That will just push him away further and faster. Keep doing what you've been doing all along- the doctor's appointments, the dinners, you should be starting birthing classes soon- keep the familiar routine, and give him time to figure it out. McGee's a smart man- too smart for his own good, but still- a smart man. Give him time, and he'll make the right decision."

"What if he doesn't?" She asked, her voice small. Gibbs sighed.

"Then you learn to live without him."


Ziva lay in bed that night, arms around her belly. So used to being in Tim's arms since her pregnancy had started, it felt strange to be alone. She missed his familiar embrace, the way his arms would slide around her, and pull her to him, and how he would caress her belly as he slept. How he'd lace their fingers together in the middle of the night...

She climbed out of bed, pulling on her coat and shoes, and making her way out of the apartment.


Tim opened the door, finding Ziva standing in the doorway. "Ziva? What are you-" She reached up, taking his face in her hands and pressing her lips to his. He stumbled back, caught off guard, and wrapped his arms around her waist as he the door shut. Nothing more was said, as they made their way to the bedroom.