Rifiuto: Non Miriena

Gibbs looked up, at the familiar creak on the stairs. Instead of Ziva, this time, it was Tim stepping into his basement. "What can I do for you, McGee?" The younger man swallowed.

"I'm trying, Gibbs, I really am." Gibbs set down his tools and gestured to the nearby bench. As Tim took a seat, Gibbs poured a mason jar of bourbon, sitting down across from the younger man, as he took a sip of the alcohol.

"Trying what, McGee?" He asked, though he already knew the answer. Tim sighed, setting the glass down.

"Trying to convince myself that signing away my rights to the baby is what's best, but... but I can't." He rested his elbows on his knees. "Every appointment, every sonogram, every time I see Ziva, it all comes rushing back and..."

"What does?" Tim swallowed, and looked up at his boss.

"The realization that I'm going to be a father. A father, Gibbs! No matter this agreement, I'm still going to be someone's father and-"

"And it terrifies you." Gibbs finished, as Tim nodded.

"You have no idea." The older man chuckled as Tim realized what he said. "I... I didn't mean... Boss..." Gibbs held up a hand.

"It's okay, Tim." He sighed, reaching out and squeezing Tim's neck gently. "It's always scary, having a baby. Knowing that you're going to be responsible for this little life," Tim saw the pain flash in his boss's eyes as he realized he was thinking of Shannon and Kelly. "but it's worth it. It's always worth it."

"I just... I can't..." Gibbs squeezed his neck firmly, and Tim jumped, looking into his boss's eyes.

"You may not realize this, Tim, but Ziva is just as terrified as you. She's about to become a mother, and you handing over papers asking to file away your rights immediately after the baby's born is only adding to her fear. She's convinced you don't feel the same way she does, and she doesn't want to file the papers, which is why she hasn't- why she didn't in the first place. She doesn't want you to leave, she wants you to stay. She's just too stubborn to say anything."

"She... she is?" Gibbs nodded.

"You bet, McGee. She's terrified that you don't feel the same way, but she doesn't want to say anything to push you away. But she's doing it anyway, and so are you." Then, Gibbs got up, yanking McGee to his feet and walking him to the stairs. "You both have a lot in common, and I don't just mean the baby growing in Ziva's belly. You've both made a huge, royal mess of this whole affair from day one- and you signing your rights away when that is the last thing she wants you to do is just the icing on the cake- and it's up to you both to fix it, because you're adults. Rule Forty-Five, McGee." He said, giving his youngest son a good shove up the stairs.

Tim took a deep breath, glancing back at Gibbs as he muttered, "Your mess, you clean it."


Ziva looked up as Tim entered the apartment. She was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in front of her. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was sniffling. Obviously, she'd been crying. Tim sighed, and went to her, taking a seat next to her at the table. She cradled her belly, eventually meeting his eyes. Gibbs' words rang loud in his head, and he sighed, realizing that their silver-haired team leader was right.

They'd both made a huge mess of this whole affair.

Sure, Ziva's plan had seemed simple enough when they first got pregnant- get pregnant, have the baby, and still remain friends, no romance involved.

But now...

Now, with Ziva's belly growing bigger and bigger with their growing child, and her due date rapidly approaching, their perfect, simple plan was crumbling around them. What had seemed like such an easy solution at first, had quickly grown into a big, complicated problem. They were playing a game of Russian Roulette, each pulling the trigger and sighing with relief when the chamber turned up empty. But soon, only one chamber would remain, housing the bullet that would end their game. Yet, neither one was prepared to pull the trigger; neither was willing to give up their life for the other.

He sighed deeply, watching her. Gibbs was right, him deciding to sign his rights away had only complicated things further, but he couldn't live with being just Ziva's friend as they raised their baby, not when he felt so strongly about her as he did. With each passing day, as he'd watched her belly start to swell and expand, as he'd felt the baby kick and move within her mother's tummy, as they began decorating the nursery and going to the birthing classes, he'd started to fall for her, and hard.

Sure, he'd always carried a torch for Ziva, from the moment they met, but now, with the baby they'd created as evidence to their growing attraction, that torch had turned into a raging fire, consuming him and painting everything around him with a shade of desire he'd never known before.

The desire to be more than her partner, her coworker, her best friend. To be more than the father of her baby. To be her lover, her soulmate, her husband.

And that desire terrified him.

And, if what Gibbs said was true, Ziva's torch had done the same- becoming a raging fire that consumed her just as much as it did him. To be more than they had agreed to.

She sniffled, holding his gaze. A moment passed, before he got up, going to her. Leaning down, he wrapped her in his arms, pressing a kiss to her temple. She wrapped her arms tight around him, burying her face in his shoulder as she burst into tears.