Bucky's entire body felt like lead.

He forced his eyes open and for a moment, all he could see was white. He vaguely remembered what had happened to him, and his first coherent thought was that he was dead. Bucky's vision began to focus, and he could make out ceiling tiles and fluorescent lighting.

He heard the beeping of a heart rate monitor next to him and was aware that he was in a hospital. All he could remember were the two headlights and the sound of tires squealing against asphalt.

Bucky slowly turned his head. His neck was stiff, and it hurt to move too quickly. His breathing came labored with the effort. The brunet managed to turn his head to the left. The first thing that he noticed was that his shoulder was all bandaged up. Bucky's eyes shot down and looked for the rest of his arm, but he found that it wasn't there.

A muffled shout escaped his throat. His breathing became more panicked now; what the hell had happened to him? Bucky reached his shaking hand over to the stump of his arm, and his fingers grazed the bandages. He felt his throat go tight and he swallowed the feeling. This couldn't be real, this couldn't be happening. He brought his hand back to his side. Bucky then brought his eyes up, and his heart stopped when he took in the sleeping form of Steve Rogers propped up in a chair next to his bed.

Bucky was at full awareness now. Steve was fast asleep, slightly slumping forward in the chair with his arms folded across his chest. His blond hair was messy and stuck up in different directions. It caught the sunlight streaming in from the window behind him, turning his hair gold. His brow was creased in worry and his mouth was slightly parted. Steve was dressed in a plain white t-shirt that hugged his torso, rumpled blue jeans, and a wrinkled black zip hoodie. Bucky's eyes darted to Steve's right hand and found that the silver band was absent. A pang of guilt shot through him.

Before he had time to process anything about Steve, Bucky heard the door open softly followed by two pairs of footsteps. Bucky slowly turned his head to the right. Natasha came up to his bedside, followed by Tony Stark.

Every muscle in his body tensed. What the hell was Stark doing here? Bucky's eyes flitted between Nat and Tony, but he didn't say a word. Natasha sighed.

"James," Natasha said in way of greeting. The name sounded foreign—but not all together strange. Besides his family, only Natasha called him James. The redhead played with the end of his blanket as Tony looked between Bucky and Steve in the chair. Tony huffed in laughter.

"What happened to me?" Bucky rasped.

Tony and Natasha shared a look before Natasha began to explain in a hushed voice. "You were in an accident. Mind you, you blew right through a red light so you're going to have to own up to that. Anyways, your car spun out and wrapped around a telephone pole. The doctors said your left arm was caught between parts of the car and the pole, and well…I think you know how that went."

Bucky eyed his left shoulder and nearly jumped out of his skin looking at it again. Obviously, he wasn't used to looking down only to find that his arm was missing. He brought his eyes back up and stared at Steve, who was still sound asleep in the chair.

"Fury received the news first," Tony said suddenly, causing Bucky to wheel his head around to look at the chemistry teacher. "Steve was the first one Fury called. He was here in a heartbeat."

Again, Bucky looked at Steve. If only he had let the blond explain, maybe he wouldn't be caught in such a mess right now. He wouldn't have been mad, he wouldn't have gone for a drive, he wouldn't have blown that red light, and he wouldn't be lying in this hospital bed, if he had just let Steve talk to him about it.

But the fact that Steve had gotten to him as soon as humanly possible made Bucky's chest grow tight. Even after the brunet had attempted to completely shut him out, Steve was still there for him. Tears threatened to spill down his face, and Bucky fought to hold them back. Natasha moved gracefully so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed to his left, and she embraced him. Bucky leaned his head on her shoulder and cried silently.

They sat like that for a few minutes as Tony awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot, unsure of what to do. He cleared his throat loudly, and Natasha pulled away from Bucky. He wiped at his eyes.

"I have to go now, they could only give me half the day off," Natasha rolled her eyes as she collected herself. "I'll be back to check in on you later this week. Don't die on me."

Her tone was flippant, but Bucky knew that she meant well. She waved to Tony, and then she walked out of the room. Tony still stood at the foot of the bed and pulled something out of his pocket. He handed it to Bucky; it was a business card.

"I have friends who specialize in making high-grade prosthetics," Tony started. "Just in case you were thinking about getting one."

Bucky looked at the card. In silver lettering it read Wakanda Tech with the address and name of the head of the business. Bucky placed it on the table next to his bed.

"Thanks, Tony," he said softly.

"Don't mention it. Well, I gotta go too," Tony replied. "Hope to see you back soon, Barnes."

Tony was already halfway out the door when Bucky mumbled, "Yeah, me too."

A few moments of silence stretched in the hospital room. Nurses and doctors scurried around outside of his room, but other than that and the thrum of the many machines hooked up to Bucky, everything was quiet. So, Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Steve shuffle around in his chair. The brunet's eyes fixed on him, and the heart rate monitor beside him beeped faster. What was Steve going to say to him? What was he going to say back? Bucky's hand clenched into a fist so tight that his nails dug into his palm.

The blond rolled his neck, and his eyes fluttered open. If it weren't for the monitor beeping, Bucky would've thought his heart had stopped. Steve held Bucky's stare for what felt like an eternity. Steve's eyes cleared of grogginess, and realization was in his gaze instead. Bucky was awake. A watery smile split his features in two.

Steve hastily got up from his chair and sat himself down on the edge of Bucky's bed. Without warning, he pulled Bucky's head against his chest, one hand on his right shoulder and the other bracing the base of Bucky's head. Bucky wasn't sure what to make of this when he felt Steve's chest shudder with sobs. Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Steve chanted wearily. "Buck, I'm so sorry."

Bucky gently pulled away and looked up at the blond, placing his hand on Steve's. "What are you apologizing for?"

"For making you feel the way you did. I just—I scared you off with my ring, and I should've told you about it," Steve paused for a moment. He cast his eyes down and, and he swallowed hard. "When I got that call from Fury…I thought I'd lost you for good."

Both of them were silent for a moment. More guilt shot through Bucky at the mention of the silver band; it was so stupid of him to assume something without first confronting Steve about it. He leaned his head forward on Steve's chest again.

"If anyone has to be sorry, it should be me," Bucky mumbled into Steve's shirt. "I must've broken you down pretty badly for you to drunk text me."

Bucky felt Steve's chest shake with laughter. "Yeah, well, that's partly on Tony. He took me out. I told him it wasn't a good idea, but I went with him anyways."

Another moment of awkward silence passed between them. Bucky heaved a sigh and sat back from Steve. The blond hastily moved his hands from off of Bucky and on top his lap. The two of them looked at each other for a minute, before Bucky looked down at his left shoulder.

"Look," he started wearily. "As much as I want things to go back to 'normal', I don't know how much of 'normal' we can achieve. If…if you don't want to get back together—"

"No," Steve interrupted him abruptly. "We will make this work. I promise you."

A small smile tugged at Bucky's lips at the sheer determination in Steve's voice. But then, Bucky worried his lower lip between his teeth. I don't deserve him, I don't deserve him, I don't—

"Hey," Steve said softly. "It's going to be okay."

For once, Bucky thought so too.