The day passed by like it never happened. Madeline was in a trance, not remembering walking to class or being at lunch. The floor was hypnotizing dirty white, in her head it seem of marble. The surface swayed and deepened into a white abyss. . Being the last one out, she realized it was the final class for the day. I guess I can hang out with Toris and his friend um Felix.

Wandering the crowded halls of happy chattering every now and then the Canadian would get shoved. She shoulders began to hurt from the constant wall contact. Spotting Toris and Felix she quickly plastered my best smile. "H-hello"

"Heyyy, like you wanna go and get something to eat! I'm totally starving!" Felix tugged on Madeline's hand. "Toris is coming! He has to come and help like pick me out a new skirt!"

Madeline heard her belly growl when Felix mentioned 'starving'. Blushing hoping her new acquaintance didn't hear that, too bad Felix did. Smiling the blue eyed girl or boy looked at the stuttering Canadian. "We're both totally hungry. What would you like to eat?"

"Maddie whats up?" Alfred skipped up to his twin.

"Hello Alfie"

"Hmm? Still making new pals aren't you! That's great! I bet you're having a blast!" The loud American literally shouted. "And YOU" He pointed to the awkward Lithuanian suddenly getting serious. A cocky grin replaced the serious act. "I want to talk to you!"

"Ah" The American pulled the Lithuanian from Felix's vice grip and disappeared into the boy's restroom. Felix grabbed Madeline's arm.

"Let's wait outside! Toris will totally find us out there!"

-oOo-

He placed the awkward boy in the middle of the restroom. Circling him like a prey Alfred could not stop smiling. Toris began to shake fearing what the American would do. "Okay dude!" Toris jumped up as Alfred's voice echoed in the empty room. "You have my permission to hang out with my sister!"

'Permission?' Slightly confused Toris looked over at the American. "E-excuse?"

"You're not excused bro." Alfred place a hand on his hip and pointed directly at the boy across, "Dude, just don't hurt her! I'm her brother, and it's my job to keep the bad guys away. But I can see you're just a nice guy, like a side kick! And IF you do hurt her then I'll seriously end you. Well first I would kick your ass then end you. But I think you get it. Riiiight?" Alfred swung and arm over the shorter boy's shoulders.

"Y-yeah. Y-you-u're very protect-tive, ar-ren't you?" His stuttering subsided when the restroom door opened revealing a pissed off Russian.

Alfred stared blankly at the tall character. It took a several seconds to try and process who the person was. Then it hit him like a trunk full of bricks.

"Hello Toris" The aura that surrounded the Russian was not good. Wanting to flee the American dramatically gasped.

"You're the commie that screwed up this guy!" Alfred pointed an accusing finger at the sadistic student. "Asshole, I'm going to kick your ass when-"

"Da" Was all the Russian could say then turned his attention to the now cowering Toris, "We did not finish our conversation little Toris. We will leave now."

Alfred pushed over the Russian and slung Toris over his shoulder fleeing the area. "First things first! Recuse civilians!" Alfred ran down the hall with a finger pointing up, his voice echoed throughout the building. "I swear I'll kick his ass in the next encounter! Ahahahaha~!"

-oOo-

"Did you like hear someone?" Felix swung his head back and forth. Yes, Madeline found out Felix is a boy. "I swore I heard a weird laugh"

Madeline had an idea who it may be but she still scanned the area, just in case. Alfred along with a scared Toris burst through the double doors.

"hahaha, the hero has arrived!"

Wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth, she felt the stinging behind her throat turn into a dry sour taste. Sighing the girl left the stall letting the sound of the flushing toilet echoed the empty spaces. The mirror was rather small. Big enough to smile into, frowns did not seem welcomed.

"I'm tired." She whispered so she herself is unable to hear. Swishing water in her mouth to rid of the sour vomit taste, she did not hear anyone enter the restroom.

"M-Madeline?" A scratchy female voice rung in her ears. The scratchy voice sounded broken from too much yelling and inhaling. 'That voice' It was her aunt's old friend. Kerry*. "Oh my god! Madeline!" Two arms wrapped around the blond girl's head. Her amethyst eyes looked at the hugging woman's hands. Both hands were covered in familiar tattoos of flowers and thorns. "How are you sweetie?"

"You still recognize me?" Madeline was shocked. She didn't expect anyone to remember her. This woman, Kerry, rarely talked to her when living with her aunt. Only time she ever spoke this woman was only after shows.

A slight memory shot through the struggling Canadian's head. She remembered this woman on stage screaming her vocals out to a punk song. Little Madeline was sitting with the bartender with blue hair. Her violet eyes observed the crowd. Many people were there, with tattoos and scowls. It seemed if she was the only one with innocence there. Maybe not. Alfred was sitting next to her cheering on Kerry. Spotting her aunt who was flirting with some guy, Madeline felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Kerry of course. Madeline knew what she needed. Digging in the bag she was holding, Kerry handed over a roll of bills, and took the contents Madeline held. Her amethyst eyes watched the woman walk away. A tattoo of angel wings where on her back. Madeline wished to have wings, so she could just fly away.

"Of course! Who'd ever forget that anorexic body of yours?" The woman squeezed tighter causing the young Canadian to squeak. She was offended to be called 'anorexic'. She has a reason from doing what she does. It's not because she wants to be skinny, it's just paranoia. She is thin enough already. Resisting the urge to slap the woman Madeline pulled out of the iron grip.

She examined the woman that stood before her, she gaped in awe. The woman she last saw seven weeks ago looked more, healthy. Her hair is actually brushed revealing a brown sleek mane, flawless makeup, and she's actually dressed a lot nicer in gray office like wardrobe rather than revealing clothing. The last image of this woman was when there straight lines and pills scattered among the coffee table, and her aunt was screaming about getting rid of some things.

"O-oh, w-well I-I um-" Madeline was now uncomfortable. She did not want to see this woman. Never again. It feels like it has been years though. Where both lives once represented hell, now flourished to something new and/or bad.

"Where's your brother? Or I mean the Hero?" The woman laughed as she leaned against the white sink. "I want to see you both again. It's been so long."

"Alfred is waiting outside with some friends" Why did she tell her that? She didn't know why though. It just came out.

"Really!" the woman's tan eyes widen. "Well lets get together now!" She grabbed the awkward Canadian's hand pulling her out the door. "Now where is that silly boy?"

Pointing over to the food court Madeline wanted to beg for the woman to stop. She knew she wouldn't listen though. Hyper like Alfred of course she won't listen. Immediately spotting Alfred stuffing himself with pizza and burgers it makes you wonder. 'Is he a bottomless pit?'

"KERRY!" Alfred instantly shot up, recognizing the woman. He shouted across the food court scaring Toris and Felix. "Whoa! You look different!"

"Alfred! You're still eating!" The woman dragged the girl behind her like a rag doll. "And who are these little playmates?"

Tilting her head sideways Madeline wondered if this woman instantly knew if Felix is a boy. Alfred introduced the two companions as they both had their own things to say. Both girls sat down.

"Like who're you?" Felix licked the yogurt off the Pocky stick as he pushed his blonde hair behind his ear.

"I'm an old family friend." The woman clapped her hands together in glee.

'Family friend my ass' Madeline wanted to speak up and curse at this woman. Or more than curse.

After two intense hours of talking and walking, Madeline felt that her body was about to expire. Her body was ready to give out as her knees weakly brought her over to the vehicle. Groaning her planted her face to the hood and waited for someone to unlock the door. She desperately wanted to curl up and hope the pain in her stomach would go away. Barely relaxing she felt her body was starting to shut down. Her arm was twitching which was terribly painful.

-oOo-

Yesterday was an 'okay' day. Recently I've been hanging out with Sakura, Yao, Felix, and Toris all together. It is a lot of fun having friends who get along so well. Anyways, Yesterday, Felix convinced Toris and I to the mall. Alfred insisted to tag along since Sakura and Yao had sisterly business to attend too. But it was fun. Until I went into the restroom and I saw someone that knew my aunt. It was unbearable see that woman again. How could she smile and tell me that I'll never be forgotten for my anorexic body? I wish I had the energy to punch her, or even scream. Its getting late.

Love always Madeline

P.S. I know you may not have feelings because you're only a diary but if you had feelings I'm sure you would enjoy having words inside you.

She signed her name with swirls and a happy face.

-oOo-

I got up the next day. Glancing at Sakura's calendar and sighed. "Another month worth living through I guess." February 7th 2011, Monday, another day of school.

Before slipping on my school uniform I stared into the mirror. Through my red tank top, the lines of my ribs jutted out, my collar bone looked if it could tear through my skin, and my body was starting to disgust me even more. The back of my neck looked yellowish. 'Is this right?' Taking out Sakura's weight scale my eyes linger on the square scale. The numbers looked if they were about to fall off and taunt me. A pain in my chest told her to drop the scale and leave it alone. I listened to the pain.

Setting down the scale I debated not to go to classes. Without realizing my movement I got dressed. Skipping breakfast, again, I dragged myself to class.

I was in a daze. Not noticing the beautiful girl leaning towards my face. Her giggling startled me. It was the French girl, Francine. "Oh Madeline, How was your weekend? Did you pig with your brother again?" The word 'pig' was given more emphasis than necessary but somehow the word struck like a back hand slap. The words of the beautiful French girl were starting to have their effect on me. Really! I didn't mind the constant mocking about using drugs, but I still sort of smoked. Recently those have stopped and it came to my waist line. Its bad enough that I'm paranoid to the point where I refuse to eat, but to the point where other people will point out my 'flaws'. Am I really a pig?

I'm starting to break down. I could feel the pain in my chest where my stomach screamed in agony. My heart began to beat faster. Getting up slowly, I decided to run out instead. Hearing the French girl's last words. "Leaving to eat your day away? Just call me if you need a good chef."

Those words started to echo in my head. Words like that are starting to haunt me.

I didn't realize I was out of breath until I hit the floor. I could hear my heart beating. It felt like my chest was about to explode but at the same time my stomach to implode. Trying to get up my body refused to respond, everything began to hurt. My head, my chest, even my knees shook with every attempt. Soon I felt pathetic just sprawled out on the cold floor. I felt like I was dying inside. Like I was beginning to rot. I think I'm dying. So quickly, things just happen so quickly. Well its my fault for not eating.

-oOo-

Feeling dizzy she shouldn't have left so fast. Her breathing became rapid, her body felt it was shutting down. Able to hear her heart beat in her ears, it felt like it will explode at any moment. Her knees buckled sending her crashing into a trashcan. She rolled onto her back, out of breath. In the corner of her eyes she could see someone approaching.