A/N: So I read all your reviews, thank you to those faithful few that take the time to give me their ideas! I downplayed some of Maura's more disturbing drama in this chapter since you guys seemed to think I was going overboard with her. Anyway...I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please keep reviewing, I love your ideas. The next chapter is already written...it is the sex chapter so the rating will change to M. Expect that chapter up tomorrow or the next day...maybe even Friday. But it will be before the weekend so look out for it. Shout out MrJ726...I'll hit you up later today...I'm about to fall into a coma!
Jane
I stared out the windshield from the back seat of the taxi in nervous desperation. We were flying down Madison Avenue. Maura's limo was weaving in and out of traffic and it was all my driver could do to stay behind it. Maura's limo was three cars ahead but at this point I was confident on where Maura was headed. She was going back to the apartment, but still I didn't want to lose her. Maura owned a million buildings in New York, most of which I didn't even know she owned and I couldn't risk Maura ending up somewhere other than the apartment. Maura had left her purse at the party and her cell phone was in the purse so I couldn't even call her. I clutched her one heel in my hands and prayed I could catch her. I knew Maura's state of mind was far from rational. I could only imagine what embarrassment she was feeling. Humiliation could compel people to do insane things. I was terrified for Maura. I had to get to her, I just had to. I cursed myself over and over for not coming to her aid sooner. I'd just been so shocked and panicked I hadn't been able to move fast enough. All that motivated me now was a desperate need to get Maura someplace safe and hold her while she cried.
I felt tears streaming down my face. I was sobbing quietly but I couldn't let my emotions overtake me. I had to keep it together. Maura needed me. I had to save her. I loved her! I'd do anything for her. I'd trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. I'd run through a crowd of millions naked as my nameday if it meant I could go back in time and prevent this horror from ever happening to her.
"Go faster!" I pleaded with the taxi driver.
"Lady...I'm twenty over the speed limit already! I can't go any faster than this!" the driver shot back at me.
I growled under my breath in frustration. I saw Maura's limo turn the corner onto our street and pull into the parking garage.
"In there...go in there!" I screamed at the driver.
He pulled up short outside the hotel.
"I can't lady...it's a private building, only approved cars can go in there! I can't get passed the gate, you'll have to go in the front!"
"The limo went in why can't you go in?" I raged at the driver.
"Whoever's the passenger in that car must have a special code to open the gate or something. If you aint got that code...we aint getting in that way!"
I rolled my eyes, threw more money at the driver and jumped out of his taxi running full speed toward the front of the hotel still clinging to Maura's shoe. My heart raced all the way up the elevator. I prayed Maura was in our apartment and not in some other room somewhere. The hotel was huge, she could be anywhere and she had an entire staff to do her bidding and hide her if that's what she wanted to do. I didn't blame her if she didn't want to be around me. I wouldn't want to be around anyone either if that happened to me. But I wasn't going to give up. Maura was my girlfriend now, it was my job to protect her and I failed at that too much already. The elevator doors opened to the apartment and I stepped out onto the marble floor quietly. I was listening for sounds of Maura. I hurried down the hallway and heard her sobbing in the guest room. My heart tripled its pace in my chest. I rushed to the door and knocked softly three times.
"Maura sweetheart, can you let me in?" I pleaded, trying not to choke on my own desperate tears.
I heard shuffling and then the door opened abruptly and Consuela stormed out and smacked me hard on the shoulder with her cane.
"What has happened to Doctor? You do this to her?" Consuela screamed at me in a shrill high-pitched hysterical voice.
"JESUS!" I wailed holding my shoulder tightly and falling to my knees.
Pain surged through my shoulder and down my arm.
"It wasn't me," I wailed through tears that were as much from physical pain as they were from emotional pain.
"Doctor half-naked, and crying like crazy! She covered in filth, hair messy, dress tore up! But you look FINE! What has happened? If you hurt her I kill you!" Consuela hissed.
Her eyes were wide with fury and her chest heaved in anger. I looked up at her and was actually afraid for a few moments she would kill me anyway. I'd never seen Consuela look so angry before, not even at Franklin Thomas. I could hear Maura's sobs all the way out in the hallway. I chanced standing to my feet holding my shoulder and hissing in pain. Franklin Thomas ran by and into the guest bedroom. I tried to chase after him but Consuela took a step back, put the end of her cane to my throat and pushed me back into the wall. I stood pressed against the wall with my arms up in surrender and choking a bit with the force of the pressure on my throat and the pain in my shoulder. I still clutched Maura's shoe in one hand for dear life.
"You tell me what happened...NOW!" Consuela's eyes were wild and dangerous, her voice low and seething.
I swallowed a painful lump in my throat. My mind raced trying to find words to say.
"I-I-I...I love her Consuela! I'd never do anything to hurt her! I'm trying to help her, she needs me! Her mother is...she's awful Consuela! She embarrassed and humiliated Maura in front of everyone! Everything went crazy, Maura tried to run away from her mother but...the thing with the dress was and accident! She ran into a waiter and he ripped it off of her trying not to fall! Everyone saw, it was terrible! Please let me go to her! Please Consuela she's my girlfriend! I love her!" I pleaded crumbling into uncontrollable sobs of my own.
Consuela studied me for a long while, her face never losing the hateful angry glare. Then finally she lowered her cane from my throat and sighed leaning heavily on the cane. She looked weary and exhausted.
"I love doctor too! Constance always mean and unfriendly. You make dis betta now, she need you!" Consuela said shuffling away down the hallway toward the living room.
I took several deep breaths and ran into the guest bedroom. I found Maura on the floor in a corner cradling Franklin Thomas in her arms and sobbing into his soft curly fur. Maura looked terrible, she was missing her shoe, her dress was torn half off her body, her hair hung limp and damp with alcohol, her face was red and flushed, her eyes puffy and irritated with many tears. My heart melted with sympathy. Franklin Thomas was whimpering and licking the tears streaming down Maura's face. His ears were laid back and his heckles were up. I tried to approach Maura but Franklin Thomas turned and growled at me furiously. I stopped short for a moment, shocked by FT's demeanor. He was even showing me his sharp little puppy teeth in his growl. I smiled at FT and shushed him. I got down on my knees and petted his head gently calming his frazzled nerves.
Maura was so far gone in her misery she didn't even notice I was in the room. My heart exploded with love and longing. I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and willed the tears in my eyes not to fall. I couldn't cry right now, I had to be strong for Maura. But my heart felt like it was shredding into a million pieces watching Maura's entire body shake and tremble with the ferocity of her sobs. I wanted to wash away her pain. I wanted to wipe the memory of her humiliation and her mother's horrible words from her mind. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was and that I didn't give a fuck what happened in the second grade or what happened tonight. I wanted to show Maura just how much I loved her, how much she deserved to be loved. I wanted to protect her most of all. I'll be damned if I ever let this happen again. If that meant I had to curse Constance to hell in front of God himself, I would do that! If that meant I had to punch people in the face that dared laugh at Maura and her shame, I'd do that. Maura was everything to me.
The pain in my chest was terrible. I brushed Maura's wet blond curls from her face with trembling fingers. Maura jumped when she felt my touch. Her eyes went wide when she finally noticed me and she turned away immediately burying her face in FT's fur.
"Jane go away," she wailed, trembling in her grief.
I sighed heavily. The lump in my throat was killing me. My chest felt like my heart was breaking over and over again. But I'll be damned if I was leaving Maura, not like this...not ever! I loved her so much it frightened me. Seeing the woman I loved more than life its self in so much pain was ripping at my soul. I gritted my teeth and steeled my nerves. I pulled Franklin Thomas from her arms and set him aside.
"I am not going anywhere! Talk to me Maura!" I pleaded with my girlfriend.
Maura's expression was nothing but pain. She put her hands over her face and cried in such a way I couldn't stand it. The sound was like nails on a chalkboard in the way that it ripped at the very core of me. Maura tried to scoot away from me but I tossed her shoe on the bed and grasped her firmly by the shoulders, locking her in my grip.
"Let go Jane...leave me ALONE! I don't ever want to see you again. I just want to be alone!" Maura was crying so hard she was barely able to form words or breathe.
She struggled against me violently. I didn't let go of her. I held her firmly in my hands. I know she didn't mean what she was saying, I know she was consumed with anger and embarrassment and it was driving her mind into its darkest place. Franklin Thomas was running in circles, whimpering and crying at the scene playing out in front of him. I felt his little teeth latch onto my jacket and pull at it violently trying to tear me away from Maura. He wanted to protect her as much as I did. I let go of Maura just long enough to pick FT up and cradle him against my chest.
"It's ok buddy," I said kissing his head and smoothing his heckles. He licked at my face and whimpered. I set him on the bed where he lay with his ears perked up and his eyes trained on Maura. I grabbed Maura's shoulders again trying to calm her.
"I'm not going anywhere Maura, I love you!" I wailed desperately and with a broken heavy heart.
Seeing Maura is such a crazed state was killing me. I thought of how she must have felt when I fell apart in the hospital. It was a deep, helpless, mind-numbing despair. Maura covered her face again and sobbed rocking back and forth, shivering in her grief.
"Leave me alone Jane! I'm such an idiot, my mother hates me! She's right, I am weak and foolish. No one has ever loved me..."
"...That's not true...that's NOT true! People do love you! Allison, Addison, James, Consuela, Albert, and Me...we all love you! We all want to help you. You are not alone. I will not leave you alone! I love you Maura please...please calm down!" I cried.
Hot tears streamed down my face and burned my flushed cheeks. My shoulder ached from Consuela's blow. But I would not let go, I would not run away. Maura stood by me in my deepest despair and I would do the same for her if it killed me.
"Why do you love me Jane? Why did you come back here? Why did you chase me? You should be ashamed of me, you should leave me like everyone else does!" Maura choked hysterically.
Her breath was so heavy and labored I was starting to worry. I tried to wrap my arms around Maura's body but she pushed at me and struggled against my attempts to comfort her. My heart was tearing to pieces and I couldn't hold in my tears. I felt helpless and hopeless when I heard Consuela's voice over my shoulder.
"Maura!" Consuela said in a loud bold voice. "You stop dis right now! You no silly little girl! You strong, you smart, you pretty, and many people loving you! I not know what happened but I know you need stop crying and hiding NOW! Miss Jane here to help you, we all here to help you. I know you long time and I know you betta that dis! You calm down and listen to Miss Jane! I watch you suffer many long years, but you no need suffer no more. It time to get up, it time to be brave! I go get you new dress but you do this no more. It time to open eyes and see!" Consuela said.
I looked over my shoulder at the older woman leaning heavily on her cane. I was shocked by her forwardness and the frustration on her face; but I was thankful most of all. Maura's hysteria had lessened as Consuela raged at her and she'd stopped trying to beat me away. Maura's eyes still poured tears but she seemed stunned and immobilized. Consuela looked at me with a pained grimacing face before turning to shuffle back out of the room. I turned back to Maura and brushed her sticky hair from her wet face. Her eyes were glazed and unfocused, her lips trembled, her breath was heavy and labored. But her eyes met mine briefly and I gave her what I hoped was my most sincere and loving smile.
"Why won't you leave me?" Maura whispered so softly I could barely hear her words.
Her eyes were searching and her expression confused. I didn't understand why Maura kept asking me that. Why would she question my presence here? Why didn't she understand that I loved her and it was my duty to be here? How neglected was she all her life that she didn't understand the very basics of what love and affection truly were? Sorrow and heartache over came me. I was overwhelmed by just how damaged and broken Maura really was. Her exterior of strength and poise when I first met her was all just a joke. Inside Maura was lost, tormented, and broken. I wrapped Maura's face in both my hands and looked straight into her eyes.
"I'll never leave you Maura! I love you!" I said kissing her lips hard before pulling away brushing my thumbs over her flushed hot cheeks.
"You still love me...after all that just happened?" Maura asked curiously. Her face was frozen in shock. I smiled.
"Can I tell you a story?" I asked softly.
Maura's eyes were curious and wondering, but she nodded her head slightly. I kissed her lips again before I sat next to her. I pulled her body toward mine letting her rest her head in my lap. I covered Maura with my jacket and brushed my thumb over her cheek in steady gentle motions trying to calm and comfort her. With her head in my lap I felt just how much her body was trembling. Her entire form was wracked with pain and suffering. Every inch of her was emanating defeat and embarrassment and self loathing. I felt defeated myself seeing her in so much pain. I sighed heavily and began to speak softly as I brushed her cheek.
"When I was eleven years old I was really fat!" I whispered. "I was away at summer camp and my brothers were off at a different camp. I was all alone, and I was so awkward and ugly that summer. I had braces and acne and everybody called me roly poly Rizzolli. I didn't have any friends. No one wanted to talk to me or play with me. I was always off by myself or hiding from everyone else because they teased me mercilessly. I cried all the time that summer. I'd never felt so alone. I made this little paper mache doll in art class and I named it Peter after the boy I had a crush on at the camp. I used to talk to that doll at night in my bunk. I used to tell him I loved him and I'd pretend he loved me back. Anyway one of the other girls in my cabin heard me talking to the doll one night and told all the boys. Peter found out about it... and well..." I paused closing my eyes against the pain.
I hadn't thought about that horrible memory in years. It was one of the most awful things that had ever happened to me. I hadn't even told my mother or brothers about it. It was just to painful to think about. Even in that moment with Maura sobbing in a half torn dress, wrapped in my jacket, and crying in my lap; I still remembered that fat awkward kid at camp no one cared to know. I was so consumed with the memory I barely noticed that Maura's sobs had lessened. She rolled over to look up at me curiously through teary eyes.
"What happened?" Maura whispered softly.
I gazed down at Maura and smiled. I cradled her face in my hand and felt my heart swell with love. Even though her eye liner was running and her eyes were puffy and red and I'd never seen her look so sad before; Maura was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
"Peter sat with me at lunch one day. I was so excited I had butterflies and goosebumps. He talked to me, he told me he liked me and I thought I would die. He convinced me to sneak out of my cabin that night and meet him by the lake. I did! I was so excited; I thought I was going to get my first kiss from the boy I loved. I even put on make up that one of my cabin mates had. I felt so pretty walking to the lake. When I got there Peter met me and talked to me and was nice to me. I had stars in my eyes for him and my heart was fluttering the entire time. Then he told me he'd kiss me if I showed him my titts," I hung my head and sighed. Maura reached up and covered my hand on her face with her own. I noticed she wasn't crying anymore; she was enraptured by my story.
"What happened?"
I closed my eyes against the memory of all the pain and hurt from that summer.
"I did it, I took of my shirt and showed him my titts. I just wanted to kiss him. I didn't know any better, I was such a lovesick idiot. But as soon as I took off my training bra all the boys from his cabin jumped out the bushes and started laughing and taking pictures and teasing me. I was so embarrassed I thought I was going to die. I tried to grab my shirt but Peter snatched it out of my hands and pushed me into the lake. The boys danced around the lake with my bra and called me brace face and ugly duckling and fatty paddy and everything awful under the sun. Peter teased me the loudest and the hardest. My heart was so broken I just wanted to drown myself in the water. I had to climb out of the lake and run all the way back to my cabin with my arms over my chest and barely able to see through all the tears. I fell three times on the way back, by the time I got to the cabin I was covered in mud and grass and had a million mosquito bites. Worse the boys kept my bra! I cried all the rest of the night and every night after that. The boys hung up my bra in their cabin and everyone at camp heard about it the next day. If I thought camp was bad before, it was nothing compared to what it was after the thing at the lake." I sighed heavily.
Maura looked up at me in horror.
"Oh my GOD! Jane that's awful. What did you do? Did you call your mom to pick you up and take you home?"
I smiled painfully as I shook my head.
"No! I stayed. I faced my nightmare and I stayed. It was awful and I hated every second of it...but I didn't want my brothers to think I was weak or have to tell my mother what happened to me. I didn't want my mother to be sad too! I also didn't want to give those asshole boys the satisfaction of running away. So I stayed. And the next summer I went back. I'd shed all my baby fat, grew five inches, my acne cleared up and I was pretty hot. That same boy Peter was there again. That summer he was the one fawning over me and trying to get me to go out with him!" I chuckled.
Maura sat up and wrapped my jacket tightly around her as she snuggled into my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me kissing her lightly on the top of her head.
"Did you go out with him?" Maura asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. I laughed.
"I caught him behind a cabin one day and kicked his ass. The point is people are cruel and awful sometimes. We all have bad memories, we all go through things; but it's what you do when the bad shit happens that defines who you are. You remember that thing you told me about strength the first time we met...what was it?"
A look of the deepest wonder played across Maura's face. Her eyes sparkled. Her lips formed the slightest but sweetest smile.
"Character is what is built in the face of great adversity, strength is what is found to overcome your challenges, love is felt most keenly after suffering tremendous pain...you remember that?" She asked me curiously.
"The question is do you remember that? Are you going to stand by your words? You might have had a shitty second grade play, but you have become one of the strongest, most beautiful, incredibly accomplished, amazing people I've ever met. And it might seem like you'll never get over that business with the dress and all, but you can't run away. If you don't go back there tonight, if you don't face those people with your head held high, you'll spend the rest of your life running from it and regretting it. Now is the time to show your character and be strong, if for no other reason than because I love you and I believe in you!" I eyed Maura sincerely.
Maura's eyes lowered and she looked away from me.
"I'm not you Jane, I can't face those people ever again!"
"You don't have a choice. You will run into them eventually somewhere, what are you going to do run and hide every time you see anybody from the party? Some of those people work for you! Some of those people own shares in your company! You can't duck and dodge this, you can't hide in here and never come out again!Those people are going to gossip anyway, but at least you can make sure they have no choice but to mention that you came back. That you stood in front of them with courage and confidence despite what happened. You can show them what true character is and they will be in awe of you...just like I am!"
"I can't go back there Jane, I'm to ashamed! I made a fool of myself again, I'm such an idiot!" Maura said barely loud enough to be heard.
"Let's get one thing straight, you did not make a fool of yourself. That was an accident. If anyone is to blame, it's your mother! And you are not an idiot. Those people back at that party might think a lot of things right now, but none of those things involve you being an idiot. When you walk back out in the courtyard all anyone will be able to think is how brave you are, and how stunning you look, and how much they admire you because they know they'd never have the courage to face their humiliation the way you are going to." I smiled at Maura.
She looked at me incredulously.
"Jane...half of New York saw my breast!" Maura wailed. She moaned and curled into me resting her head on my shoulder.
I just chuckled and ran my hands through her sticky wet hair and kissed her forehead.
"Baby...you have awesome titts! All those guys and some of the women will dream about them tonight...just like me!" I whispered in Maura's ear.
I felt Maura laughing in my arms. I smiled.
"You're very brave Jane. I wish I was like you," Maura sighed.
I rolled my eyes.
"I wish I was like you!" I countered.
"I'm not that great. You heard my mother, I'm not even worthy of being an Isles!" Maura said sadly.
I rolled my eyes again.
"Maura, you're amazing! You've done so many amazing things. You've accomplished more already than most people could ever dream of and you're still young...and sexy!" I teased planting several kisses on Maura's cheek.
Maura giggled and tried to wiggle out of my grasp. I held her tight and cooed in her ear.
"Your mother wishes she was you, she wishes she was as intelligent and accomplished as you. Whatever her problem is with expressing her love for you...you must understand that it's her problem, not yours. You're ten times the woman she'll ever be without even trying, and I love you Maura Isles!" I said leaning my fore head against Maura's and sighing softly.
Maura kissed me softly and brushed my cheek.
"Why are you so good to me Jane? No one has ever stood up to my mother before, I couldn't believe how strong and confident you were in front of her."
I smiled, "I'll tell Satan himself to suck it if he messes with you! Besides you're my girl, I'll do anything for you!"
Tears streamed down Maura's face but I quickly moved to brush them away. I wanted to see no more tears tonight, or ever if I could help it.
"I need one thing from you tonight," I said sincerely
"What is it?" she whispered.
"I need you to clean up, change clothes, and come back with me to the event. I want you to walk back out there with your head held high and stand up for yourself if your mother comes at you again. She only treats you that way because you let her and I know you are stronger than that...I know you are I've seen it myself! I know she's your mom and you love her...but she doesn't get to treat you like this anymore; you deserve better! You have to demand better! She will never respect you until to take a stand and I'll be right there to back you up."
Maura and I just stared at each other for long moments. There was fear and doubt behind Maura's eyes that I hated seeing. I pulled Maura's hands to my lips and kissed them tenderly.
"My mother will just hurt me more if I try and fight back..."
"...No she wont. You have to do this...you have to try. Please Maura, I can't see you like this again, it kills me! Besides, by now everyone has heard what happened and why you crashed into that waiter. Constance's reputation is far more damaged than yours at this point. You get to play the sympathy card...she's just a cunt and everybody knows it!" I smiled.
"Jane she's my mother, you can't talk about her like that." Maura said looking me square in the eye.
I studied her for many long moments.
"You are ten times the woman you mother will ever be. Even now you defend her when all she does is tear you down!" I sighed and kissed Maura's lips softly.
Maura and I kissed for long minutes. I closed my eyes, I felt the heat rise in my body. I felt my body tremble and my heart flutter. I felt my thighs moisten and quiver. I felt my skin explode with goosebumps. I heard Maura moan softly into my mouth. Maura pulled away from me abruptly and fixed me with her most devilish grin.
"Do I get a prize if I go back?" Maura asked in that crazy sexy voice she got sometimes when she was looking at me with those heavy burning eyes.
"I'm your prize," I giggled.
Maura laughed.
"I want to unwrap my prize tonight!" Maura whispered in my ear. My core caught fire and my juices leaked out of me. There could be no denying what she meant by that. I felt my insides squirm.
"I'm ready to be unwrapped," I mumbled breathlessly.
By the time we made it back to the hotel over an hour and a half had passed and dinner was over. The dancing was in full swing. Maura had showered at the speed of light, styled her hair in a bun, and dressed in a shorter lighter gown than the last. She was still gorgeous though. I'd tried to get frisky with Maura before we left the apartment but she pushed me away and scolded me again for being a distraction. I pouted, but I was proud of Maura. Her confidence was back full swing and she seemed determined to see herself through this nightmare. Maura was dragged to the bathroom by Addison and Allison as soon as we walked out onto the courtyard and I was left standing alone. I looked around and spotted Constance Isles dancing with an older silver-haired man. I ignored the Saudi Prince calling out to me and all the curious stares and soft whispers behind my back. I straightened my suit jacket and marched into the dance area and straight toward Maura's evil mother. My steps were heavy and filled with purpose. My jaw was set and my hands were clenched in tight fist at my side. I weaved through the people dancing around me and stopped right next to Constance and her dance partner. The man noticed me first and stopped short, Constance looked at me bewildered.
"Jane, what are you doing? I thought you left!" she asked curiously.
I smiled and bowed my head at the silver-haired man.
"Excuse me sir, may I have this dance with the lady?" I asked as politely as I could.
The mans eyes went wide and his face looked stunned but he backed away and I swept Constance in my arms. I was a wonderful dancer, between my years of ballet as a child, my mother's idea and not mine, and my years on a pole I had perfect rhythm and surprising grace. I twirled around the dance floor with Constance Isles for several minutes leading her in and out of dips and fancy steps before finally pulling her tight against my body. I wrapped my arm firmly around her waist locking her body against mine.
"Well well Miss Rizzolli, you are quite the dancer." Constance complimented looking up at me curiously.
I tried to smile at her.
"You were right you know," I said bending her into another low dip.
I pulled Constance up roughly and back into my arms. She was breathless and confused by my aggression.
"I was right about what?" the older woman inquired.
I looked deep into her eyes. Constance had the same fine features, subtle grace, and poise as her daughter. Constance was still beautiful, I imagined Maura would hold her beauty the same way as her mother long into her aging years. But I did not see the same sweet innocence in her mother's eyes as I saw in Maura's most of the time. Looking closely at the woman, I saw a shadow there, a lingering pain that had probably been there for a long time. Still I felt no pity for the woman. I felt only anger and frustration at the way she treated my girlfriend. I'd pushed Maura to be strong, but I would do my part to pave the way.
"I am protective, especially about those I love." I said bluntly glaring intensely into Constance's eyes.
"And do you have teeth also Miss Rizzolli?" the older woman asked not even flinching under my gaze.
"Maura made me promise to behave, lucky for you! But I will catch you alone and show you my teeth if you ever embarrass her like that again!" I hissed. "Other people might be afraid of you; I don't know why. I think you're a coward and a fool! But I am not afraid of you woman!"
I leaned in and nestled my mouth against her ear, "I'll sink my teeth into your throat if you ever treat my girlfriend like that again!" I whispered right into her ear.
The woman's eyes went wide for a few seconds before softening into a smile.
"I see why Maura likes you, you're very direct...and you're not intimidated by me. I think I like you Miss Rizzolli!" Constance smiled at me.
I rolled my eyes.
"I don't think much of you! You can hate me as far as I'm concerned! What happened earlier is beyond me. I can't believe you're still here. You should be cowering in a hole somewhere where you belong after the humiliation you caused Maura! By now everyone knows what you said to her, you're a pariah and people see you for what you are no matter how much you try and pretend you're something different. I bet everyone is just glad they're fortunate enough to not have an awful, insecure, wretch of a mother like you! I want to know something and I want you to be honest."
Constance looked stunned and hurt by my words. I saw the concern and panic in her eyes. I heard her breath quicken and her hands became moist with sweat. But her voice remained steady and unaffected. It must have been years of practice that enabled her to keep a smile on her face in the midst of her pain.
"What's that Jane?" Constance asked as I led her through another series of fancy ball room steps.
"Why do you hate Maura?"
Constance looked at me like she couldn't understand what I was saying.
"Whatever do you mean?"
I rolled my eyes.
"You know what I mean! Don't play dumb with me, I know you're not stupid so cut the crap! Why do you treat Maura so badly? How could you embarrass her like that in front of her friends and employees? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Constance looked taken aback and hurt. I felt her trying to pull away from me but I held her firm and crushed her body against mine glaring down at her with all the hatred I felt for her at that dinner table.
"Jane you're hurting me!"
"Answer my question!" I hissed dangerously at the woman.
I was in no mood for games. Constance turned her eyes away from mine and looked over my shoulder with a distant pained expression.
"I was never any good at motherhood. My mother treated me terribly as a child if she was ever around at all. I'm afraid I am no different than her. I keep my distance because I don't understand Maura. I never have, she's always been beyond me, above me even. I don't know how to love her..."
"...TRY!" I spat at Constance viciously. I would spare no more kind words for the woman. She didn't deserve them anyway! I was here to make a stand for Maura and I'd stand tall as a giant if I had to. Constance Isles didn't scare me anymore; to me she was disgusting and I hated her beyond belief. Even still, she was Maura's mother so I had to at least try and impress upon her the error of her ways.
"Try loving her! It's easy! Maura is the most wonder person I've ever met. She's sweet and kind...well most of the time...and she's smart and generous and beautiful. She treats my daughter like a little princess, she's a wonderful mother figure despite how shitty you seem to be! I'm blessed to have Maura in my life and if you can't treat her the way she deserves to be treated, if you can't see Maura for all the wonderful she is, then I feel sorry for you. You should be proud of her, you should encourage her and call her sometimes. Stop neglecting her half the time and humiliating her the rest. If you can't love her, at least have the decency to show her the respect she deserves. What you said about her not being an Isles because she's adopted; I told her you were wrong and she was a far better Isles than you'd ever be. I only said that because it's what she needed to hear. But in truth, if you are what the name Isles represents I'm so glad Maura doesn't take after you. I don't want her to be an Isles, I don't want her to be a disgusting, miserable, hateful, horrible woman whose only way of feeling powerful is by bringing others down. Maura is above you, she is beyond you and she always will be!" I said holding the older woman's body so tightly my injured shoulder throbbed and my arms were starting to hurt. Maura tried to use my injured shoulder as an excuse to not come back to the party, insisting in needed rest and ice and her to look after me. But I'd brushed her off and insisted I was fine despite the throbbing running all the way down to my finger tips.
Constance looked terrified, then there were tears behind her eyes.
"Maura is very lucky to have someone to stand up for her so passionately. My husband never bothered to stand up to my mother or father. I'm sure he's off somewhere with one of his mistresses spending my families money on her. Maybe if I'd had someone like you I wouldn't be such an awful person." Constance looked weak in that moment. Her lips trembled and her eyes were shining with tears. I sighed heavily and loosed my grip some.
"It's not to late to try and be better. You can always say I'm sorry. Maura will forgive you, she's good like that and she loves you! But no more excuses, tell her you love her before it's to late. She's your only child. You don't want to be all alone when you die do you?" I asked arching my eye brows and fixing Constance with my most steady gaze.
"I will try..." Constance started but I dropped her arms and left her standing alone on the dance floor.
I didn't care to hear her voice anymore, and didn't care about her sob story or her excuses. The only words I wanted to hear from her were an apology to my girlfriend and maybe even a compliment for Maura if miracles really did happen. I stalked off the dance floor and snatched a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. I downed it in three gulps
"Jane come dance with me..." Addison said running up to me grabbing my hand and leading me to the dance floor. I went without an argument. I needed the distraction from my fury and frustration.
Maura
I couldn't seem to get back to Jane. I'd spent ten minutes in the bathroom with Addison and Allison trying to assure them I was ok. Neither of them seemed particularly convinced and were surprised I'd returned at all. I was surprised to be here again also; but I wanted to be strong for Jane. I wanted to be strong like Jane! I couldn't believe that awful story Jane told me about her experience at summer camp so long ago. But I was in awe that Jane handled it so well. If something like this happened to me when I was that age I don't think I would ever have recovered from it. Jane was amazing and strong and proud. I wanted to show my girlfriend that I could stand up for myself too and that I wasn't weak and helpless. But as soon as I managed to hustle Addison and Allison back to the courtyard people came from every direction to speak to me and offer donations and ask questions about everything under the sun.
Allison took the lead quickly and the two of us circled through the crowd accepting donations and chatting pleasantly with each group of people. Actually Allison did most of the talking. My mind was elsewhere. I wanted to get to Jane. I wanted to feel her arms around me and see her encouraging smile. I wanted to dance with her and hear her laugh at her own silly jokes and lean my head on her shoulder as we danced the night away. I wanted to sneak her off into the gardens and kiss her again. I was really thinking about having my way with her. I'd actually packed a bag of things at the apartment and ordered the concierge to deliver it to my room here within the hour. I wanted to get Jane alone so she would be comfortable. I knew Jane would be far to nervous to relax at the apartment with Consuela there. I wanted our first experience to be absent unnecessary hindrances. I wanted to talk to Jane about my plans but I just couldn't seem to spot her in the crowd of people. Not that I could get away from Allison anyway. The woman wouldn't let go of my wrist and I didn't want to be rude. Most people seemed to be well into the alcohol at this point and the event was quickly turning a bit raucous and boisterous like it always did around this hour. It only made me wish for Jane more. I wanted to feel her arms around my shoulder and sway the sideways looks I was getting from men with that glare she got in her eyes sometimes. I kept feeling like people were looking at my chest. I felt bare and stripped down without Jane next to me.
People kept asking me about Jane and my relationship with her. I told them all firmly that Jane was my girlfriend but I left it at that. I didn't want to answer all their other prying questions, I knew there would be gossip but I didn't care. This event would go down in the books. It was the first time I had a date, my bare breast were exposed to everyone, and I ran out of the building crying like a little girl. Somehow though I felt strong inside. Stronger than I'd ever felt before. I knew it had something to do with Jane; but I liked it. I wasn't even concerned about the gossip. Jane could handle it and I'd protect her from the bad things if they came. But I really wished I could at least find her.
Eventually I did spot her through a crowd of people. She was dancing with Sherri who was laughing excitedly in her arms. I felt a surge of fury rip through me. I'd always hated Sherri and she hated me. Sherri always got the boys in school, she always got the dates to the dance, the invites to the parties, prom queen, most likely to succeed, student body president, mother of three children...Sherri always got everything. And boy didn't she know how to throw it in my face. I'd always cowered in front of Sherri before, I'd always felt less than and insignificant compared to her. But not tonight, especially not in this moment. Sherri could have everything else, but she could not have Jane. Jane was mine now...officially mine! I did not share...not ever...! Sherri might have everything else but Jane was worth ten prom queen crowns and a million party invitations.
I felt my hands form into fist and my chest tighten in fury. I didn't hear that someone was speaking to me. The rest of the world and everything around me had fallen away and all I could see was Sherri dancing in the arms of Jane. My mind exploded with jealousy and rage when Blair cut in, pushed Sherri away, and started dancing with Jane instead. I could see Jane smiling as she led Blair around the dance floor in a graceful waltz. I didn't even know Jane could dance so well. She was supposed to be dancing with me anyway. Those girls had everything in school, and teased me mercilessly all my life for never getting married or ever having a date. Now they were falling all over themselves and each other to be near my girlfriend. I was seeing red.
"Maura, what's wrong?" Allison asked pulling me aside and staring at me curiously.
I must have shown all my emotions on my face because Allison looked like she was near a panic as she stared at me.
"See to it that Dr. Montgomery and Albert get home safely when they are ready to leave. Jane and I and going to have to leave. Please make my excuses," I tried to pull out of Allison's grip but the woman pulled me back roughly.
"It's your charity! We've been planning this for seven months! You can't leave now! What's wrong?" she hissed at me.
I looked back at Jane who was now dancing with Michaela. A furious growl escaped my throat. Allison followed my gaze and her eyes lit up with understanding.
"Don't make a scene Maura and don't leave. You've had enough drama for one evening!" Allison raged through gritted teeth.
"That's your girlfriend; go up there and dance with her yourself. If you storm out of here those girls will know they got to you and they'll gossip about it forever. Is that what you want on top of everything else that's happened this evening? Go up there, kick them out the way, and dance with your girlfriend right in front of all of them. Jane will forget they ever existed when you're back in her arms. She ran after you like a bat out of hell earlier. I see the way she looks at you. That woman adores you, she thinks you walk on water now go on...suck it up! Go get your girl!" Allison pushed me toward the dance floor.
I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, smoothed my dress and made my way to the dance floor. I was almost there when my mother stepped in front of me blocking my path. My heart sank.
"Maura, may I speak with you privately?" Mother asked.
I rolled my eyes. Jane told me to be strong and I intended to be, starting right now!
"No mother! I'm not in the mood to be ridiculed and embarrassed any more tonight. Save it for another time I'm busy!" I said trying to push past my mother but she took two steps back and blocked my path again.
"I just want to say...I'll be staying at the home in the Hamptons next weekend and I would like it if you and Jane joined me." Mother said smiling at me.
I was taken aback. What had gotten into her? Mother never invited me anywhere, not even for holidays! I was lucky if I got a birthday card. Now she was inviting me to the Hamptons for the weekend right after humiliating me like I'd never been humiliated before, and I was no stranger to embarrassment! I stuttered for a few moments then quickly stopped. I didn't want to be that blubbering foolish child I was in second grade again. I set my jaw and lifted my chin.
"Angela is coming home from the hospital Friday and I don't know if I'll feel comfortable taking her on a road trip...or bringing her around you for that matter." I added the last bit spitefully.
My mother's face fell and she seemed peevish and taken aback.
"Well of course I'll have Walter bring out your old baby things from the attic if you come. I'd like to meet Jane's daughter, and I'd like to spend some time with you." My mother said shyly.
I actually took three steps back and looked her over frowning. I had to make sure it was really my mother standing in front of me and not some mirage or alien life form that had inhabited my mother's body. My mother looked the same, but she was acting terribly strangely.
"Are you ok? What happened to me not being good enough to be an Isles? Now you're inviting me and my girlfriend out to the Hamptons for the weekend?" I asked incredulously.
My mother's eyes lowered.
"It was wrong of me to say that. Please accept my apology. Will you come? It would mean the world to me!"
I rolled my eyes.
"You can't treat me like this anymore. You can't embarrass me and then say you're sorry and expect me to all of a sudden want to spend time with you when you've never shown an interest in spending time with me before. I'm not going to be weak anymore, I'm taking a stand right here and right now. You are horrible to me, always have been, and I've only done everything I can to please you. But it's never good enough is it? You will always hate me." I hissed at my mother.
Anger was over taking me. Years of abuse and neglect were fueling my rage. I had to greet my teeth tightly to keep from screaming. I was furious with my mother but I didn't want to be the center of any more public drama. My mother's eyes shined with tears and her face was tight and crestfallen.
"I know I've been unfair to you...but please allow me the chance to make it up to you. I can't change the past, but I can do better by you now. Please join me in the Hamptons, we could...we could all have fun together!" My mother said nervously.
My face must have looked as stunned and shocked as I felt. I didn't know what to think or what to make of the whole thing. I wasn't about to commit though.
"I'll talk to Jane and email you if she wants to go...but I wouldn't count on it." I said honestly.
It was true..I couldn't imagine Jane wanting to spend any more time with my mother than she absolutely had to.
"Oh please do just call, I'm always available for you!"
"Since WHEN!" I blurted out a little bit to loudly. I blushed when all the heads around us turned and looked towards my mother and I.
My mother was blushing too, I couldn't believe it. What was going on? I didn't have time to focus however because Jane was now dancing with another woman I didn't even know. I felt the heat rise in my face again. I mother turned and saw Jane dancing with the woman and scoffed. I rolled my eyes. I steeled myself for whatever mean thing my mother was sure to say about Jane. I was more than ready to jump to Jane's defense. Jane had called my mother a disgusting troll after all. I couldn't scold Jane for that, she'd only been standing up for me when I was to weak to do it myself. I know what the compulsion to protect someone you loved could do to you. I'd made a fool of myself raging at Claire in the hospital trying to protect Jane. But I still wouldn't let the bad blood between Jane and my mother go any further. My mother could say whatever she wanted about me, but I wouldn't tolerate her putting down my girlfriend, not ever! But the insults never came.
"That's been happening all evening," My mother giggled. "I think that's the seventh woman that's found their way into Jane's arms. They're fighting over her and making fools of themself, the silly little girls! Everyone here can see Jane only has eyes for you." my mother smirked.
I stared at my mother with my mouth open and my face no doubt scrunched up in some expression of disbelief. My mother noticed my face and smiled at me.
"Close your mouth dear you don't want to look like a simpleton in front of your lady's suitors. No go on, pull yourself together and claim you prize." Mother said turning back to look at Jane.
"Jane is quite dashing! And she cares about you deeply. I'm happy for you Maura...you deserve it!" my mother said kindly before turning and walking away.
I felt like I'd been hit in the face with a ton of bricks. Who was that woman and what had she done with my mother? I was stuck on the spot trying to work out the strange turn of events when Jane shuffled up to me bright-eyed and smiling.
"Wanna dance with me Maura? I'm trying to get away from all these girls, they won't leave me alone!" Jane said frowning over her shoulder.
I smiled and wrapped Jane in my arms, pulling her into my body and kissing her passionately. Jane seemed stunned at first, then she opened up for me and let me kiss her the way I wanted. I paid no attention to the whispers and stares all around us. Jane seemed lost in the kiss and so was I. I was kissing my girlfriend and I'd kiss her as I liked for however long I damn well pleased in front of whomever; stares and whispers be damned. Jane was starry-eyed and grinning foolishly when I finally released her from the kiss. I looked over her shoulder and noticed many women that had been dancing with Jane earlier looking at the two of us with hateful pouts and sagging shoulders. I smiled from ear to ear as I led my girlfriend to the dance floor amongst the curious stares of many faces. Jane took me in her arms and danced with a renewed vigor and perfect grace. She never stopped smiling at me and I never stopped blushing in her arms. No one even dared to try and cut in on us. Jane's eyes were trained on me and mine on her. We danced all night, only taking short breaks to catch our breath and chat with Albert and Addison and James and random others that wandered over to us. Jane didn't leave my side again. It seemed everyone wanted to speak with her though. I smiled at her all night and basked in the glow she was giving off. I fell into her every time Jane wrapped her arm around my body, and I blushed like a school girl every time Jane called me her girlfriend. By the last dance of the night I was exhausted, but I was so in love with Jane my heart was melting all over the dance floor. The last dance was a slow dance and Jane held me tightly against her by my waist. I had my arms wrapped around her neck and I gazed lovingly into her eyes. The music was soft and sweet like Jane's eyes and I sighed with each light kiss Jane planted on my trembling lips. I felt Jane's hand ease up my side and cup my breast. I giggled and swatted her hand away.
"Jane, people will see!" I whined at her.
Jane only grinned wickedly.
"I've been a good girl all night...lets get out of here and you know...get to know each other!" Jane's face split in half with her silly devilish grin.
I giggled and kissed her again.
"I have a room here if you'd like to stay the night. No one to bother us, no interruptions, no Franklin Thomas...just you and me!"
Jane's eyes lit up like wild-fire.
"What are we still doing here?" Jane said sweeping me off my feet and into her arms hustling me toward the hotel.
I giggled all the way to our room.
