Maura

Jane was in a panic. It was early Friday morning and Angela was coming home today! Jane woke up at four thirty this morning near tears and wailing about everything we didn't have for the baby and how much we needed to do to get ready for Angela. I was exhausted; beyond exhausted. I'd tried for fifteen minutes to keep Jane in bed with me; but she'd wiggled, squirmed, and wailed so much I just gave up and tumbled out of bed with her. I could hear Jane running around the apartment and exclaiming loudly about everything in the apartment that was suddenly not baby proof or hazardous the entire time I was in the shower. I took a long shower. Most of the time I just stood under the jets leaning against the glass with weary eyes and a drooping head wishing I could just crawl back into bed and sleep a while longer. My body was still aching inside and out from making love to Jane all day yesterday and the night before. We'd only slept five hours last night and I was dying inside. My vagina throbbed. I'd taken two aspirin already to fight some of the pain in my muscles and my insides. I just wanted to sleep!

I chuckled at one point when Jane burst into the bathroom wailing about how we needed to move Angela's crib into our room so we could be close to her at night. I'd sighed, I didn't even bother arguing. I just conceded to Jane's wishes. It was too stressful arguing with Jane when she was in this state. I'd make a case later about how Angela could sleep in her own room and survive the night. But for the moment; I'd let Jane have her way. I knew she was reliving the trauma of why Angela was in the hospital in the first place. Jane was consumed with worry and the idea of her daughter being out of her sight was driving her crazy. Angela was not my blood child; but Jane was mine and by extension so was Angela. I wondered if every father figure felt the heavy burden I was feeling under the pressure of caring for a child and for a woman that had lost her mind with worry. I wanted to stay in the hot shower forever but Jane burst into the bathroom again.

"Come ON Maura, we have so much to do! You're not that big...it can't possibly take forty minutes for you to wash your tiny body! You're moving as slow as your turtle!" Jane wailed.

I rolled my eyes and turned off the shower jets. I willed myself not to grumble and curse. I opened the shower door and stepped out grabbing a towel from the hook and wrapping my naked wet body.

"Bass is a tortious Jane; and the correct sentence structure would be 'You're moving as slow-ly as your tortious,'" I corrected.

Jane looked like she could spit fire.

"Really...freaking really! You're worried about grammar when we have so much to do!" she hissed at me.

I looked at her and chuckled. Her arms were stuffed full of baby essentials. Diapers, wipes, baby powder, bottles, a bib, a small towel, a stuffed elephant, and two or three baby outfits.

"Honey, what's all that for? We packed Angela's baby bag yesterday! All we have to do is walk out the door." I sighed looking at my hysterical girlfriend struggle with her burden.

"What if we don't have enough stuff? I'm just making sure we don't run out of anything."

I smiled at Jane. Her brow was furrowed with worry and her eyes were watering like she wanted to cry. I loved her so much. I walked to her and started pulling things out of her arms and setting them on the counter. Jane resisted at first but I gave her my most firm expression. I pulled the container of baby wipes from her arms.

"There's five hundred wipes in here sweetheart...I don't think Angela is going to go number two five hundred times between the hospital and home!" I said.

Jane turned red.

"What if she has diarrhea?" Jane wailed.

"Jane...Angela's body isn't big enough to produce enough excrement that we would need five hundred wipes to clean her!" I insisted.

"You've never seen her poop! It's like a volcano erupted in her diaper sometimes!" Jane exclaimed.

I giggled. I pulled the huge bottle of baby powder from her hands.

"We bought this from Ollies...this is enough baby powder for months. This isn't travel sized honey and Angela will be potty trained before we use all of this!" I insisted.

Jane frowned.

"I don't want her to get a diaper rash!"

I sighed heavily. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that Jane was a mother and mothers worried beyond reason.

"There is a small bottle of baby powder in her diaper bag...that will be enough until we get her home little princess!"

"But..."

"...Jane! Trust me!" I started pulling everything out of Jane's arms as she wailed and protested.

"We will take this." I said holding up the stuffed elephant.

I looked at it, it was adorable. Jane pulled it out of my hands and cradled it against her chest.

"He is kind of cute! I could never afford stuff like this before...but I think we should take the clothes too because..."

"...Jane! There are three outfits in the bag already! We're not taking anything else." I sighed scooting everything behind me on the counter and standing in front of it protectively so Jane couldn't grab at it.

Jane looked miffed.

"I'm just trying to be prepared! I put her baby carrier by the door, I put an extra blanket in there. I got her stroller ready, I put an extra blanket in there too. I checked her diaper bag again...I put an extra sippy cup in there just in case..."

"...Jane!" I exclaimed grabbing my girlfriend by the shoulders and shaking her slightly to get her attention.

"Everything is going to be fine. We're going to pick up Angela and bring her home and love her to death!" I insisted.

Jane's eyes went wide.

"I don't want her to die!" Jane said hysterically. "Addison said she was better! She said she'd be ok we just have to keep her incisions clean and take her temperature every two hours and feed her soft foods and..."

I sighed and hung my head. Playing daddy was exhausting and the baby wasn't even home yet. I interrupted Jane's hysterical rant.

"..That was a figure of speech Jane, everything is fine! Calm down!" I pleaded, kissing Jane's forehead and smiling at her worried face.

Jane's eyes were desperate and worried still but she smiled at me anyway. My heart melted. I kissed her cheek and brushed her lips with my thumb.

"Will you help me move her crib when you're done getting dressed?" Jane asked timidly.

"Baby, of course!" I said pulling Jane into my arms and hugging her tightly.

Jane fell into me. I pulled the stuffed animal from her hands and held her closely against me. I smiled when I felt Jane's lips kissing my neck. My skin erupted in goosebumps. I thought of last night and why I was so tired and my body hurt so much. I smiled.

"You were wonderful last night," I whispered in Jane's ear.

I felt Jane giggle.

"So were you, Maura" Jane kissed me deeply.

"I'm so happy Angela is coming home today. I love you so much...you're such a good daddy!" Jane smiled wrapping her arms around my neck lovingly.

I beamed at her.

"I love my baby and my baby's baby!" I said kissing Jane's lips again.

She moaned softly and grabbed at my towel pulling it so it fell to the floor. I giggled.

"Baby, not again! I can't take it sweetheart. My body needs to heal!"

Jane pouted.

"We might not get another chance for a while. Angela is...she's a handful!" Jane wailed.

"She's just a little baby how much of a handful can she be? I'll always find time for you honey!" I cooed at Jane.

Jane looked doubtful but she smiled at me anyway. Since two nights ago when we made love the first time we hadn't done much else besides talk about Angela and prepare for her to come home. Well, we fought too!

The fighting started when I bought Angela's new diaper bag from Luis Vuitton on the way home from the hotel. Despite how worried she was that we didn't have everything we needed for the baby; Jane had no problems expressing her disbelief that I'd spent so much on a diaper bag. I'd only rolled my eyes and insisted Angela should have the best! We had another huge argument when I tried to give Jane a credit card for anything she might want to buy for Angela or herself in the future. That was met with such a heated furious reaction from Jane she literally snapped the card in half. I'd only been thinking of Jane and Angela. I thought Jane would feel more secure and worry less if she knew she had money to fall back on since it was she panicking every five minutes about ever thing under the sun. But I was wrong...very very wrong!

Yesterday Afternoon:

Maura

"You cannot be serious Maura!" Jane spat at me.

She'd snatched the card from my hand, snapped it in half, and threw the broken pieces across the room like a frisbee. My eyes were wide with disbelief and confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked incredulously.

Jane was shaking in her fury. Her brows were furrowed, her lips were curled, and her hands were formed in tight fists at her side.

"I don't need a credit card from you on top of everything else! Angela has everything she needs already!" Jane exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're the one worrying about not having enough things, Jane. Isn't that what you were wailing about five minutes ago. I give you a credit card and you start acting like the sky is falling! It was just to make sure that you and she are taken care of when I'm away. You know I'm leaving for Boston next week for a few days and anything could come up! It's just a security blanket; what is the problem?" I said rubbing my temples.

What was the problem? Why was it such a fight to give Jane things? She was my girlfriend now after all; isn't this what girlfriends do...take care of one another?

"Maura! You don't have to give me money ok! I'll be working soon and I'll buy Angela what she needs myself!" Jane raved.

I sighed heavily.

"As long as Angela is under my roof and under my protection I will provide for her and for you...my girlfriend!" I yelled back.

I was growing furious with Jane's stubbornness.

"You have already. We live here, you built a fairy wonderland in her room, she's got more clothes and toys and shoes than I had my whole life growing up! You don't need to do anything else but love me Maura!"

"I do love you Jane...at least I'm trying to love you! You have to let me! You have to stop pushing me away every time I try and express my love for you!"

"That's not an expression of love Maura, Jesus!" Jane raged pointing at the credit card pieces across the room.

"What is it then Jane since you know my mind better than I do!" I hissed.

I was growing more and more offended by Jane's reaction. What was wrong with her that she couldn't accept a simple gift? You would think I was asking her to take drugs by the way she was behaving. Jane threw up her hands and mumbled curses under her breath as she glared at me.

"What's that Jane?" I mocked her, "I can't hear your lame excuses anymore,"

An expression came over Jane's face that looked like the deepest loathing. I stood my ground. I would not back down. I was trying to do my duty as a girlfriend despite how pig-headed she seemed to be.

"Money is not an expression of love Maura!" Jane's voice was icy along with her eyes.

"I'm not a baby! I'm not helpless!" Jane said through clenched teeth.

"What are you talking about? Who said anything about you being helpless? Don't put words in my mouth Jane!"

"Don't put credit cards in my hand Maura!" Jane spat back.

"I'm just trying to help you Jane. I need to know when I leave town and an emergency comes up you have a way to afford whatever you might need!" I insisted.

I was growing so frustrated I was clenching my jaw and waiving my hands around wildly. Jane growled and paced around the room.

"What could possibly happen that I need a credit card with a ten thousand dollar limit? What you're really saying is that you don't trust me to take care of myself!" Jane hissed.

I sighed and tried to reach for Jane. She stepped back and eyed me angrily. My heart broke. I didn't want her to be angry; I just wanted to love her. I loved her so much. I studied her furious features for long moments. She was looking at me with so much rage it shattered something inside of me. I couldn't look at her anymore. I couldn't stand to see her expression when hours before she looked at me with so much love when she was inside of me. I walked to the couch, sat down, and hung my head. I bit my fingers to keep from crying. What was I doing wrong? What had I said to make Jane look at me with so much loathsome hate? Why was she hurting me when I loved her so much? Why was I failing, how was I failing, I always failed. Tears rolled down my face. I bit my fingers harder. I didn't want Jane to see me cry but the pain was just so much.

I felt long fingers on my shoulders. I felt them run through my hair and a kiss on the top of head. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I...I shouldn't have yelled at you Maura. I'm sorry baby. I know you're just trying to help but..."

Jane bowed to her knees behind me. I felt her lips on my ear. I trembled. Even now her touch moved me to passion and filled me with love.

"...I'm already so happy with you Maura. It just feels like...when you try and give me money all the time it makes me feel like you want to change me! That I'm not good enough for you. It feels like you don't think I can take care of Angela by myself and like I'm stupid and needy or something."

I closed my eyes. Jane's voice was soft, sad, and broken. There was pain in her voice...I could hear it as plain as day. Whatever Jane was feeling by me offering her money had nothing to do with me. It was something inside of her. Some insecurity she had long before she met me. Perhaps I'd been overly presumptuous in presenting her with a credit card before speaking to her about it first; but the core of the issue lay with Jane and not myself. How could Jane still think I didn't love her exactly the way she was? How could Jane think I didn't trust her to care for her child? Had I not defended her to the social worker? Had I not done everything in my power to ensure than Jane kept custody of her child? Had I not told her over and over that I loved her and I believed in her and how wonderful she was? Did Jane not hear me when I said those things? The pain inside her must be overwhelming for her to think I thought she was stupid. Knowing this only made me more sad. It broke my heart. How could I fix this? How did I heal such a pain? I'd tried everything already but I was doing something wrong. Jane was right. She needed much more than my money. I couldn't swipe a credit card to fix this. No amount of money could plug this hole.

"Come sit with me sweetheart," I said softly.

My voice sounded tired and weary. Jane walked around the couch and sat next to me. She picked at her fingers and let her hair fall in her face so she couldn't see me. I knew she was hiding her emotions. She didn't want to talk about her pain. She didn't want me know it existed. She wanted to keep it bottled up inside of her where she thought it was safe. Jane's pride was admirable but crippling at times. I knew she was feeling weak and needy. Vulnerable and embarrassed. I hated seeing her like this. I loved my grinning, loud, boisterous Jane with her silly jokes and bright smile. But Jane's pain was a part of her; some dark shadow neither of us could escape. I wanted the best of Jane; but the worst was something I couldn't escape.

I turned sideways on the couch, pulled Jane into me, and lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around Jane's waist and she pulled her feet up on the couch. I stroked her chin and kissed her head many times as we lay in each others arms. Jane nuzzled her face in my neck and kissed me. I sighed. I pulled her head back by her hair and looked loving at her. Jane smiled up at me. I kissed her lips long, deep, and hard. I felt Jane's body rise and push into me. A soft moan escaped her mouth. My eyes closed, my passion came. I was lost in her again. Again! It never stopped, it never ended, my love for Jane...my desire to have her still hadn't run dry despite the fact that we'd made love already when we came home earlier. But despite my arousal I would not let her distract me. Loving Jane was more than incredible earth shattering sex. Loving Jane was understanding her, healing her, being able to communicate with her even when she wanted to hide and run away. Jane didn't let me run from my pain...I wasn't going to let her run from hers.

"You know that's not true don't you sweet heart? You know I love you don't you? I love you just the way you are. You're far from stupid, I have no desire to change you, and I know you're a wonderful mother! Why would you think other wise? What am I doing wrong for you to think anything different?" I asked softly stroking Jane's cheek as I gazed down at her.

Her brown eyes filled with tears. She lowered her head and wiped them away quickly. Jane lay her head on my chest and sighed. I kissed the top of her head and waited for her to speak.

"I can't give you stuff like you give me, Maura. I can't buy you all the stuff you like or give you cash when you need it or anything like that. When you try and do it for me...it feels unfair. It feels like I'm constantly taking and taking and never giving back. My mother raised me to be an independent woman! I'm poor but I'm not needy! I can't have you thinking I'm a gold digger and I don't want to feel like one. I feel weird enough already! I'm wearing shoes that cost more than my rent!" Jane exclaimed.

I chuckled.

"You love those shoes," I smiled.

"Yeah! But that's not the point!" Jane protested.

"You're not a gold digger Jane. You've never asked me for a dime. What I give you I give you because I love you. And you have given me more than you'll ever know. I told you already...you're my hero. You give me strength, you give me courage, you make me laugh, you fill my house with joy and noise and even chaos sometimes. You make me try new things, you teach me to be patient. You bought me a bike," I giggled.

"Yeah and then you tried to kill me while you were learning to ride!" Jane laughed.

I laughed with her.

"That was the sweetest most sincere gift anyone has ever given me,"

"Don't lie!" Jane grumbled, "I bought it at Dicks Sporting Goods with the money you gave me!"

"It doesn't matter how much it cost or how you earned the money to buy it. You thought enough of me to buy me a bike because you wanted to teach me to ride. You picked it out yourself in my favorite color and I love it. It's the best gift I've ever received because it came from your heart. It means you listen when I talk. It means you care enough to try and teach me what I don't know. It means you love me Jane Rizzolli and I love you too. You tried to make me dinner that time..."

"...and almost burned the hotel to the ground!" Jane sighed.

I laughed.

"There's a very advanced fire suppression system in the building. The point is you tried because you wanted to make me happy. You tried to teach me to play basketsball..."

"...Maura! It's basketball not basketsball!" Jane wailed.

"Whatever! The point is you took the time to teach me something I didn't know, even though I'm not very accomplished at it..."

"...you sucked at it babe!" Jane giggled.

I smiled.

"You stood up to my mother. You get jealous over me sometimes..."

"...that bell boy was staring at your titts! Only I get to do that!" Jane grumbled.

I kissed the top of her head.

"You stood right by me at the fundraiser and never left my side. You made me be strong and go back after that awful thing happened and I'm so proud of myself for having the courage to do that. You entertained my guest when I was too sad and awkward to do so myself!"

"Yeah what the hell was that all about? Why are you so weird around people? You're not like that with me at all!" Jane exclaimed looking up at me curiously.

I gave her a painful smile.

"You heard the story my mother told. You saw what she was like. Growing up with a mother like mine, having a stutter as a child, and being teased constantly damaged me. I never make friends easily."

"But you don't stutter now and you're a grown woman. And you're funny sometimes and sweet! You gotta stop second guessing yourself. You've got a lot more to offer than you think. I love you to death and I've only known you a couple weeks. Give yourself a chance sheesh!"

I smiled at Jane.

"See...you say things like that. You encourage me and you mean it. You're wonderful and I love you. So don't ever fool yourself into thinking you're just a taker in this relationship because you're not. It offends me that you think that because I'm not an idiot Jane. I know a gold digger when I see one...trust me I've met thousands of them! But you're going to have to work with me here. I can't stop being wealthy. Like it or not you're a part of my life now and I'll provide for you. Tomorrow after we bring Angela home and interview for nannies I want you to sit with me while I call my accountant. I want to order another credit card for you." I said kissing Jane's dark curly head again.

"What!" Jane exclaimed sitting up and looking at me in bewilderment.

"Jane...please!" I begged.

"Interview for nannies?" Jane hissed.

I faltered for a moment. I wanted to bring up the subject of a nanny differently but I'd said it now and I had to deal with it. Jane's expression said she thought I was crazy. I sighed and steeled my nerves. I knew another fight was coming.

"I feel like it would be best to hire a nanny for Angela when you start work." I said confidently.

I couldn't appear to be weak in my opinion.

"NO!" Jane said firmly laying her head back on my chest.

I rolled my eyes. Of course this wasn't going to be easy.

"Jane, honey Angela is too young for day care. Even though she coming home she's still susceptible to infection while her body is healing. She needs rest and a clean environment. Day cares are a breeding ground of germs. When she's older we'll look into day care. I have some in mind but we don't need to worry about it right now." I said as I curled my fingers in Jane's hair.

"Angela does not need a nanny! I'll stay home until you say she won't get sick but babies get sick sometimes, Maura! And she needs to play with other children and socialize and stuff. I don't want my daughter turning into a pampered nanny baby that grows into a snob, treats people like crap, and expects people to wait on her hand and foot! I'd die if that happened. NO nanny!" Jane insisted.

I sighed.

"Jane, I don't treat people badly and I had a nanny. Am I a snob?" I asked curiously.

"NO! But you get real mad sometimes and you tried to fire that bell boy for nothing. And you don't know how to ride a bike, you don't watch cartoons, you don't know what a meat lover's pizza is, you missed out on a lot and I want my kid to be normal. She's a Rizzolli and we Rizzolli's are a working class resilient people. I'm not keeping her in a bubble Maura. She can go to freaking day care it won't kill her,"

"Jane...she's too young right now. She doesn't even speak yet. She couldn't tell us if she were being molested or someone hurt her or anything like that! I'm not against it in the future but for now I'd feel more comfortable if she had a nanny while you and I work in the day. And some nights when I want to take you out! Unless you don't want to work then you can stay home with Angela. Still I'd like to have a nanny on call in case you want some time to yourself." I sighed.

"Do I look like a freaking housewife?" Jane frowned up at me.

I giggled.

"I haven't asked you to marry me...yet!" I teased tickling Jane's sides.

Jane laughed and squirmed on top of me.

"But you'd be the sexiest house wife on all of Madison Avenue sweetheart!" I cooed at Jane.

"Stop Maura...and I'm not staying home. I want to work." Jane frowned at me.

"Then you work...and we hire a nanny!" I said firmly.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Let's compromise. Let's just interview some candidates and you can see how you feel about them. You can pick whomever you like. You'll be their boss! How do you like that?" I smiled.

A wide grin split her face.

"I get to be the boss?"

"Yes baby...you're the boss!" I said kissing her sweetly.

"I wanna be your boss too!" Jane said in her sexiest voice.

Jane sat up and tore at my shirt. Her eyes burned with lust. I moaned softly. I was powerless to fight my desire for her. Jane was cursing at the buttons of my blouse. Her shaky fingers unable to undo them fast enough for her liking. I giggled. I tried to help her but our fingers kept getting tangled together and Jane swore all the louder. I giggled and laughed at her frustration. Jane grimaced at me, grabbed me around the waist, pulled me into her arms, sat back on the couch and ripped my shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere. I squealed in my shock. Jane's face split in half in a triumphant grin. She grabbed my bra and ripped it open, pulling it over my shoulders roughly and tossing it over the back of the couch. I was beyond shocked. My eyes were wide and I grabbed Jane's shoulders for balance.

"Janie," I exclaimed breathlessly.

Jane held me by the waist and studied me; running her eyes over my breasts and smiling.

"Honey, I loved that shirt," I wailed.

Jane's expression was devilish.

"I love this," she said with a voice low and thick with arousal.

Jane pulled me to her and slipped my breast in her mouth.

"OH...God!" I wailed in a high-pitched crying voice.

My hips swirled and pushed into Jane instinctively. I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her hair hard. Jane's head flew back and she cried out. I wrapped my hand around her neck and squeezed just enough to hold her there. Jane's eyes were wide with shock. Then her expression turned back into lust and hunger. She tried to speak but I squeezed her neck harder.

"You owe me for that shirt...I'm the boss now"

My voice was low and dangerous. Jane tried to grab at my breasts again but I slapped her hand away. Jane's expression turned into a pout. I leaned in, never letting go of her neck. I let my breasts brush the side of Jane's face enjoying the sigh that would have escaped her mouth if I hadn't been holding her neck so tightly. I leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"You owe me for that shirt!" I said again.

Jane's entire body tensed. I pulled back and ripped Jane's own shirt open in one fell swoop. Jane cried out. I smiled.

"Take it off," I commanded.

"Mau..."

"...Don't talk!" I spat at her.

Jane stopped speaking mid word.

"Take it off," I repeated.

Jane didn't hesitate. She pulled off her shirt and her bra and sat back smiling at me. She was so sexy. I wrapped my arms around her again and our bodies crashed together in a renewed heated frenzy. I roll off the couch and we crashed to the floor never breaking the kiss. I straddled Jane and ripped at her belt.

"You're a bad little girl," I whispered as my slid my body over hers.

Jane scratched at my back and moaned in my ear.

"I'm your bad little girl!" Jane whispered in a shaky desperate voice.

"You're going to do as I say now! I'm the boss!" I whispered against Jane's lips.

Jane whimpered beneath me but her body rose, letting me know she was mine.

"Punish me baby," Jane whispered.

Desire ripped through me. My center raged with arousal. I felt my underwear dampen and my skin flush with the heat coursing through me. Jane's eyes were low, her breath unsteady, her lips trembling. I tore into her. I ripped her pants down over her hips roughly and ran my fingers through her slit lightly, teasing her. Jane whimpered and wailed and squirmed on the carpet. I loved the way she whispered my name. I loved the way she tangled her fingers in her hair and bit her lip. I loved the way she smiled at me when I ripped her pants off her body completely. I loved the sound she made when I spread her legs and lay between them taking her breast into my mouth. I loved the way her back arched and her thighs moistened. I loved the way she squealed and moaned and laughed as I teased her clit with my knuckle. I nipped at her lips and covered her body with my own. I loved the feeling of Jane's nails in my back and the way she begged me to take her.

I smiled and kissed her deeply. I ran my hands up and down her thighs loving the way Jane squirmed and shuddered. I kissed her breasts and Jane sighed in my ear. Jane touched me everywhere. She kissed everything she could reach. Jane's touch felt like heaven but this was a far different passion than when she was between my legs with her toy. Jane was saying dirty things to me. Wicked things. Things I'd never heard before. Things that made my blood burn. Things that made my thighs shake. Things that made my juices flow. Things that made me want her, to take her, to ravage her. I absorbed her dirty words. My hands caressed Jane's sexy body. My eyes studied every part of her. I watched her body wiggle and her hips sway. I felt her nipples harden between my fingers. I felt how slick Jane's thighs had become. I moaned in her ear.

"Are you wet for me baby?" I whispered against her lips.

Jane whimpered as I played with her clit again. She cupped my breasts in her hands and gasped and sighed as she moistened my fingers.

"Please baby...I want you so bad...I need you so bad!" Jane's voice was pleading and desperate as she scratched at my back.

I smiled down at her and kissed her lips lightly before pulling back and looking into her gorgeous brown eyes. Our lips brushed against each other and Jane moaned softly.

"Bad-ly" I teased.

Jane narrowed her eyes and dug her nails so deep in my back it arched and I cried out. I looked down at her with wide eyes. Her smile was wicked.

"Fuck me!" she hissed between clenched teeth.

Her eyes burned with a fire that drove me wild. Jane loved to be a bad girl it seemed. I smiled...I drove my fingers deep inside of her. She was so wet my fingers slid in like a knife through warm butter. My hand was instantly soaked. Jane cried out and cursed at the top of her lungs. She ripped at my back. Her nails burned my flesh but I loved it. I lay across her again and pulled her hair. I spread her legs wider with my thighs and drove into her. My thrust were hard but not to fast. I put the power of my hips behind each thrust and bit Jane's nipple as I obliged her request.

Tears streamed down Jane's cheeks. Here eyes were closed tightly. She grabbed my waist and pushed her hips into my hand every time I drove inside of her. Seeing Jane surrender and open for me was heaven. I was loving this. I loved her tears, I loved her desperate wails. I loved the way her body moved and her lips trembled. I loved the feeling of her muscles convulsing around my fingers. My hand was sopping wet inside of her, my body was on fire. I whispered dirty things in her ear. I was about to push another finger in her when Franklin Thomas ran up to us with one of Angela's new stuffed animals in his mouth. He set the bear right next to Jane's head and started humping it vigorously. My jaw dropped. Jane looked mortified. FT was making awful grunting noises on top of the bear that was twice as large as his little body. I started laughing. I laughed so hard I pulled out of Jane and rolled on my back overcome with giggles.

"FT!" Jane wailed.

"Stop it!" she screamed trying to tear the bear away from him.

FT growled and latched onto the bear trying to hold onto his prize.

"STOP...STOP!" Jane was hysterical.

She was squealing and shaking the bear like crazy but FT wouldn't let go. I couldn't stop laughing.

"Maura help me," Jane wailed.

I couldn't move. Tears streamed down my face. Jane cursed and raged.

"What is making much noise in here?" Consuela appeared in the living room leaning on her cane.

Her eyes went wide when she saw Jane and I. Jane was naked, I was half-naked. Clothes were everywhere. Jane cried out in shock and grabbed her pants hopping around like a maniac trying to put them back on.

"You two like rabbits. All day making love. How come you not tired? I be dead from so much sexing all the time. Miss Jane you noisy like squealing pig! I get no rest in this house now...all day with the sexing! Now on floor in living room? Next you be swinging from the chandelier!" Consuela wailed.

Jane fell to the floor trying to get into her pants. She crawled around on her back trying to pull them over her hips. Her face was red and furious.

I tried to pull on my shirt but all the buttons were missing and it was hopeless. I just stood there trying not to laugh. Franklin Thomas dragged his toy in front of Consuela and continued to hump it. Consuela screeched!

"Now Diablo dog making sexing with toys! This madness!" she raved poking FT with her cane.

Jane cursed, snatched the toy from Franklin Thomas, and ran to the bedroom. She ran back out seconds later pulling a t-shirt over her head. She tossed a t-shirt to me and I covered myself quickly.

"You two have baby coming home tomorrow! You no need make love every second of every day! There other things in life besides sexing!" Consuela said shaking her head.

I rolled my eyes.

"Consuela we love each other," I spat.

"Yes but at least go to bedroom where I not see you! I still hear you though," she said narrowing her eyes at us.

Jane looked like she wanted to crawl under a bed and hide.

I started to speak again but FT ran into the room with Jane's gift from Albert in his mouth.

"What is that?" Consuela screeched.

FT was hopping around growling with his prize. My jaw dropped. I don't even know how he got that. I thought I'd put it back in the box on the night stand this morning! The toy was flying around obscenely and FT was acting like it was his new favorite thing. Jane was red from head to toe. She looked frozen on the spot, her eyes wide in horror. Consuela bent over and grabbed the toy from FT and held it up studying it. Her eyes went wide when she noticed it was in the shape of a penis.

"OH! What is dis? What it for?" She said holding it in the middle and shaking it around trying to figure out if it would do something.

The toy wobbled around in her hand. I could have passed out from embarrassment. FT was running around at Consuela's feet barking and jumping up and trying to get at the toy. Jane jumped on the couch and ran over the cushions snatching the toy from Consuela's hand.

"Don't worry about it," Jane hissed.

She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bedroom slamming the door and leaning her back against it eyes wide in shock and horror. We stared at each other incredulously...then we both burst out laughing.

Present Time

Jane

I sat on the couch with Angela in my arms. I was feeding her oatmeal in between Franklin Thomas trying to lick it off her face.

"Go away you little vulture," I hissed at my puppy.

FT sat back on the couch cushion and barked playfully. I smiled at him. He seemed to love Angela. Ever since Maura and I walked through the door with Angela all his attention had been on her. FT followed and sat with whomever was carrying or holding her and whined every time she would squeal or cry. Consuela had raved over how beautiful she was and held her for a long time singing old Spanish songs from her childhood while she rocked my baby. I'd had to pry Angela from her arms and shoo her away to the guest room after I'd prepared Angela's lunch. Maura had been on the phone since we got back confirming interviews with various nannies recommended to her, checking their references, talking to Albert and Addison and whatever the hell else she was doing. Every now and then Maura would find her way back to the living room and smile at me while she spoke to whomever on the phone and kiss Angela's forehead before she'd wander away again and continued her business.

I couldn't stop looking at my baby. She was wearing the pink shorts and princess top Maura bought her the other day and her feet kicked in little pink and white shoes. Maura refused to let me watch TV while Angela was in the room. She put on classical music instead and insisted that it sparked certain brain waves in babies that promoted advanced brain function and encouraged bonding between parent and child. I hadn't argued much. I was happy to sit and play with my baby. I couldn't believe how healthy she looked. There was a bandage over her throat where the tracheotomy had been. Maura said she'd have to change and clean the wound daily. It made me sad to remember how damaged Angela was two weeks ago but Maura calmed me and told me that Angela was going to be fine and I should be happy. I was happy. I looked around the huge living room and smiled.

"This is your home now baby girl! Mommy is gonna do better for you! You have your own room and so many clothes and toys and a puppy and a turtle and a daddy that loves you and is going to give you everything in the world. You're such a lucky little girl!" I smiled, kissing Angela's head.

Angela giggled and clapped her little hands excitedly. I smiled so wide my face hurt. Franklin Thomas licked the oatmeal off her fingers.

"Go away you!" I growled at FT.

He just licked my face. I smiled.

"Janie, Angela has a high chair. Let's feed her in the kitchen ok." Maura said appearing in the living room smiling at Angela.

"Maur...we're already halfway through the oatmeal." I complained.

Maura looked at me over the rim of her reading glasses. She was wearing one of her sexy skirts and blouses that made her look powerful even though she was so much more feminine than me. Her hair was pulled back in a pin and her glasses always made her look so...sexy! She walked over to me and lifted my chin staring down at me with firm but loving eyes.

"It's not healthy to feed a child around animals. It's less likely dog dander will get into her food if she's in her high chair as verses sitting on a couch with the puppy. Besides, proper dining etiquette starts young sweetheart."

"Dining etiquette? Really...Maura she's one!" I exclaimed.

Maura rose an eyebrow at me. I sighed. Maura pulled Angela from my arms and carried her to the kitchen. Angela squealed when Maura kissed her chubby little cheeks lovingly.

"You're such a big girl Angela...yes you are...you're such a big girl!" Maura cooed at Angela laughing in her arms.

Maura spun Angela around in a circle laughing and tickling her tiny body. Angela was beside herself with excitement. She wrapped her hands in Maura's hair and pulled at it giggling mischievously.

"Ow...OWWW!" Maura laughed.

She pulled Angela's hands away from her hair gently and giggled.

"Your mommy likes to pull my hair too!" I heard Maura whisper in Angela's ear when I walked in the kitchen with the sippy cup and the bowl of oatmeal.

"Hey!" I complained.

Maura looked at me and smiled.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" Maura winked at me.

I pouted my lips. Maura went on spinning Angela in her arms and laughing with her. Angela raised her hands in the air and made high-pitched wails. I sat in a chair and smiled from ear to ear. My heart melted watching Maura with my daughter. I'd never seen Maura smile the way she was. She looked so light and innocent. She looked so happy and free. She looked...she looked like a mom playing with her baby and I was overcome with love for both of them. Angela responded to Maura like she'd known her forever. I watched the two play with each other for several minutes until Angela spit up all over Maura's face. Thick, white, oozing goop ran down Maura's face. I covered my mouth in shock and horror. Angela giggled and rubbed her hands all over Maura's face smearing the vomit even more.

"OH GOD!" I wailed grabbing Angela from Maura's arms and setting her in her high chair.

Maura was standing in shock spitting baby vomit out of her mouth and wiping at her face with her hands. I tried not to laugh. Maura looked so ridiculous. I should have told her it wasn't a good idea to spin Angela around while she had a stomach full of oatmeal; but I'd been distracted with love and affection and the thought slipped my mind. I ran to grab a kitchen towel from the drawer.

"It's in my eyes...it burns Jane...it burns and it smells so bad...it's in my mouth...OH GOD...it's in my mouth!" Maura wailed and cried.

I choked on my laughter pulling her to the sink. I pulled off her glasses that were covered in sticky oatmeal vomit. The entire left side of Maura's face was covered with the smelly gross white goo and it was dripping onto her shirt. I bit my lip. I felt horrible. We'd been home an hour and a half and already Angela had christened Maura's face with her puke.

"Baby...lean over the sink," I said with a trembling voice choking on laughter.

"It's not funny Jane...it's in my MOUTH! It smells so BAD!" she wailed.

I started laughing.

"Maur come on...let me clean you up. Lean forward."

I sprayed Maura's face with the water sprayer and rubbed her back tenderly.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's ok...we'll get you another shirt." I tried to comfort Maura.

"It's on my shirt too?" Maura wailed.

I accidentally sprayed water down Maura's throat while she was talking and she started sputtering and coughing and choking in the sink. I quickly turned off the water and pulled her up drying her face with the towel.

"It's ok baby," I said wiping her face and her damp hair and kissing her cheeks in between giggles.

Maura coughed and choked, her entire face turning red. I sighed and kissed her all over her cheeks.

"It's just not funny Jane!" Maura cried.

I could tell she was trying not to laugh too. The top of Maura's shirt was wet, her hair was damp and all over her head, her eye was red where the baby vomit had irritated it and she looked insane.

"Maura, you're so beautiful," I laughed taking Maura's cheeks in my hands and kissing her softly.

"I'm a mess Janie," Maura wailed.

"Baby get changed while I feed Angela," I said turning Maura around rushing her toward the bedroom.

"I love you daddy," I said swatting Maura's butt playfully.

Maura blushed.

"I'm gonna get you for that later little princess," Maura winked at me.

It was my turn to blush.

"We'll see!" I said.

I ran back to the kitchen. My jaw dropped when I saw what was going on in there. It seemed like Angela's entire head was covered in oatmeal. While I was distracted Angela must have attacked the oatmeal with her hands and somehow turned the bowl over her head. She was wearing the bowl like a hat and licking her fingers. Frankin Thomas was standing on the tray of her high chair licking all about her face. Angela squealed and petted Franklin Thomas. His curly fur was covered in oatmeal as well as most of his head.

"OH FUCK ME!" I said throwing the towel on the floor.

Angela pulled the bowl back on her head and giggled mischievously at me. She showed her dimples and her dark eyes glowed excitedly. Her entire outfit was covered in oatmeal. She kicked her little feet in her chair as FT licked at her face and laughed petting the puppy's face with her sticky fingers. If I didn't know better I'd say she knew she was making a mess and was loving it.

"Baby girl!" I wailed. "Look at you honey you're a mess!"

I moved to pick Angela up from her high chair but I slipped on some baby vomit and crashed to the floor.

"OWWW!" I wailed.

Maura came running into the kitchen in a new blouse looking beautiful again but stopped short when she saw what was going on in the kitchen.

"OH! GOODNESS!" Maura exclaimed.

"Franklin Thomas down!" Maura hissed running toward Angela and the puppy.

I just rolled around on the floor wailing. Maura wasn't even paying any attention to me. She was busy with the baby.

"Angela honey look at you! You've got it in your hair and down your shirt and in your shoes somehow! Oh sweetheart...let me get the bowl!" Maura giggled.

I could hear Angela squealing and clapping her hands. Maura was laughing as she pulled Angela from the high chair holding her at arm's length. I rolled to my knees and wailed unhappily.

"Never mind me...I'll just be down here in pain!" I cried.

"Honey are you ok?" Maura asked me finally.

"NO! I'm hurting over here," I wailed shaking my head in frustration.

"What is so much noise in here...EL DIABLO!" Consuela hissed hobbling into the kitchen on her cane.

"It wasn't him this time Consuela...this is all little Angela's work!" Maura laughed.

"Why you let little girl make mess? She covered in food! What has happened to Miss Jane?" Consuela raved.

"We got a bit distracted." Maura sighed.

Oatmeal was sliding off Angela's little head and face and landing on the floor. FT was licking it up delightedly. I think he and Angela were in cahoots. They both had an affinity for causing havoc and making messes for other people to clean up. Consuela narrowed her eyes at me as I struggled to my feet.

"You making the sexing with doctor again while baby make mess! You horny like toad," Consuela said poking at me with her cane.

"Consuela NO!" I said slapping at her cane angrily. "I was cleaning Maura's face after Angela puked on her and the baby made a mess!"

"Everything come from you messy. You messy, dog messy, baby messy...messy messy messy!" Consuela sighed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Give her here I'll clean her up," I said walking toward Maura's outstretched arms.

Angela was squealing and smiling at Maura who was cooing loving at her filthy little body.

I was almost to Maura when I slipped on oatmeal this time and skidded across the floor crashing into the dining table and flying over it landing in a heap on the other side.

"OWWW!" I cried.

"Oh my GOODNESS!" Maura wailed running over to me.

I hissed and cursed on my back.

"Jane...watch your language in front of the baby!" Maura spat at me.

"Are you serious!" I shouted at her. "My back hurts like FUCK!"

"Jane there's no need for..."

Angela sneezed in Maura arms. Snot, oatmeal and baby spittle sprayed Maura in the face and all over her fresh clean shirt. Angela giggled and clapped her hands. Frankin Thomas pranced around by my head. Maura looked incredulous. She was spitting oatmeal and baby spittle out of her mouth. I started laughing again. I couldn't help it. I tried to get to my feet and help her but my back hurt so bad and I was weak with laugher. I couldn't move.

"OH! You messy now too!" Consuela raved.

Consuela pulled Angela from Maura's arms and carried her off to the bathroom. Maura just stood there frozen, her arms still outstretched, her eyes closed tight, her face covered in goo.

"It's in my mouth again Jane...why...WHY!" she wailed at me.

"This is my third shirt today...I'm going to run out of clothes between you and Angela! It's not fair...it's just not fair!"

I crawled to my feet and pulled Maura toward the sink again. Maura's eyes were closed tightly and watering because they'd been sprayed with snot. She was walking with her hands outstretched in front of her feeling around for obstructions and wailing. I bit my lip hard to keep from laughing. I unbuttoned Maura's shirt carefully and pulled it off her body. It was silk and so was the last one Angela puked on. It would have to be specially cleaned if it could be saved at all. Maura wailed and cried as I lowered her head to the sink again and sprayed the goop off her face.

"Don't talk," I giggled.

I apologized furiously as I rinsed off Maura's face. I couldn't believe this. The kitchen was a disaster. Maura was a mess, Angela was a mess. FT had a belly full of oatmeal and we'd only been home a couple of hours. Maura had no idea what she was getting herself into by playing daddy. I pulled her up and dried her off again.

"She hates me Jane!" Maura cried. "I'm terrible at this...she hates me!"

I sighed and giggled.

"Take it as a compliment Maur...Angela only pukes on people she likes!" I said wrapping Maura in a hug and laughing silently over her shoulder.

"That doesn't make any sense...she hates me!" Maura insisted.

"Maura that's ridiculous. She's a baby she doesn't hate anybody. Babies...they just do this kind of stuff. They sneeze and puke and mess up stuff. You're going to have to wear my t-shirts around the house so your nice clothes don't get ruined. And you gotta be careful about spinning babies around...they have tender stomachs." I said kissing Maura's lips.

Both of her eyes were red now and her bottom lip was poking out in a pout.

"She didn't puke or sneeze on you!" Maura wailed.

"That's because I wasn't holding her. I was busy falling all over the place slipping in her puke and her mess. My back is killing me!" I sighed.

"You should go lay down...I'll clean up Angela and the kitchen!" Maura said tenderly.

I smiled lovingly at her.

"No honey, you go take a shower...I'll clean my baby and my baby's mess." I said kissing my pretty, topless girlfriend.

I squeezed her breast playfully. I expected Maura to swat me away but she didn't. She held me gently by the waist and kissed me deeply. I loved her so much in that moment.

"It will be faster if we share the burden. Let's do the kitchen first and then the baby and the dog!" Maura whispered against my lips.

"Deal," I smiled.

...

"I'm so tired Maura, " I wailed in bed late that night.

I was lying on my stomach in bed and Maura was straddling my back and massaging me gently with her smelly good oils. I sighed and groaned and moaned as Maura's nimble fingers worked out the stress and knots in my back. The day had been impossibly long. It took forever to clean Angel the first time. She had oatmeal EVERYWHERE! It was even in her diaper somehow and all in her ears and nose. It was awful and sticky and Angela squirmed and squealed in the baby tub Maura bought her. Washing Franklin Thomas was worse. He kept escaping and running away and hiding under the furniture getting soap suds and little puppy paw prints everywhere.

The interviews with the nannies were ridiculous. I thought it would be safe to let Angela crawl around her little play area closed off by the baby fence Maura bought her. But Franklin Thomas figured out how to lift the lock and Angela kept crawling off and getting lost in corners or into some other mischief. Once she crawled into Maura's closet. We heard a great crashing and found Angela and Franklin Thomas buried under a pile of Maura's heels. Angela was giggling and crying and FT was chewing on a heel. I'd been beside myself with frustration. Maura found it in her to laugh pulling a giggling Angela from the rubble of the shoes.

We put her in the play pen after that; but somehow Angela managed to flip the thing on its side and escape...again. We wouldn't have known Angela had broken free at all if Bass hadn't crawled into the living room covered in a powdery white substance. The nannies eyes went wide when she saw Bass. Maura panicked' I ran to Angela's playpen and cursed when I found it on its side...empty! We ran around the apartment tearing things apart looking for my daughter. I found Angela in the pantry covered in flour from head to toe. Franklin Thomas was prancing around in the flour sneezing and rolling around and licking Angela's face happily. The two of them were partners in crime. I almost started crying. Franklin Thomas ran off and left flour prints everywhere. Maura walked into the kitchen, saw my face, and sighed when she saw Angela. Maura picked her up and Angela sneezed a great gust of flour in her face. Maura was wearing her nice clothes for the interviews and now they were all covered in a thick dust of flour. Angela smiled and pulled Maura's hair. I just sighed, pulled Angela into my arms and sat down in the flour weary and exhausted. I thought Maura was going to cry. She sat next to me covered in flour. We leaned into each other and wailed various exclamations of weariness and defeat. Consuela had to kick the nannies out while Maura and I once again washed the baby, the dog, the turtle, the kitchen, and ourselves.

Maura and I didn't even eat dinner. Angela kept slinging her Spaghetti O's around and laughing at FT who licked them up happily. Maura had to change her shirt again. At least she'd taken the hint and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt now. It took forever to get Angela to calm down and go to sleep and she only did so after I put FT in her crib despite Maura's very stern protest. But the two of them curled up together and fell right to sleep and I fell onto the bed exhausted.

"Honey...we have got to hire a nanny! I hate to admit it; but we've been outsmarted all day by a baby and a dog! I changed my clothes five times today! I had oatmeal in between my breasts...I don't know how it got there!" Maura wailed on top of me.

I sighed.

"Angela is just excited about being here. And she loves FT, and she's always been a bit...boisterous."

"Like her mother!" Maura cooed in my ear.

I smiled.

"Are you having second thoughts daddy," I asked playfully.

Maura kissed my back and rolled off of me.

"Never that sweetheart!" She said tickling my side.

"I read in this book that in lesbian parental relationships the father figure is often called Maddy and not Daddy! I like that better. Since my first name is Maura anyway it's like shortening Maura and daddy and making it into one." Maura said excitedly taking a book off her nightstand and opening it.

I rolled my eyes.

"You've been reading a book on lesbian parenthood?" I asked incredulously.

Maura looked at me curiously. She was wearing her reading glasses again.

"There is a wealth of literature available on the subject." Maura protested.

"What's the title of that book?"

"Lesbian Parenting, A Guide to Creating Families," Maura said casually. "It's very informative. Did you know..."

"...Maura not tonight ok! I have to get up every two hours to take Angela's temperature and check her feeding tube scar to make sure it isn't leaking. I just want to go to sleep!" I cried burying my face in the pillow.

"Of course I'll help with that, Jane. You don't have to do it yourself. If we had a nanny..."

"...enough with the nanny business," I said reaching over and putting my hand over Maura's mouth laughing playfully.

Maura narrowed her eyes at me and licked my hand. I squealed and laughed.

"Maura stop...you're so weird!" I giggled.

Maura rolled on top of me and kissed me.

"Shhhh baby! You'll wake the baby!" Maura whispered at me.

I smiled at her. Five minutes later I was sleeping.

I woke up at nine a.m. I sat up straight in the bed surprised by the amount of sunlight pouring into the bedroom. What was going on? Why didn't my alarm go off all night to wake me up to take care of Angela. I shot out of bed and ran to Angela's crib. It was empty. Maura wasn't in bed. I ran out of the bedroom and found Maura and Consuela in the kitchen with Angela. Maura was feeding Angela in her high chair. Angela was already dressed and giggling around her spoons full of mashed melon. Consuela was preparing bacon and eggs on the stove.

"Morning Miss Jane," Consuela smiled at me.

Maura looked over her shoulder and gave me her best grin.

"Good morning little princess. Consuela is making you breakfast. I know you're hungry...you didn't eat last night."

"Did you turn off my alarm?" I exclaimed.

"Yes...you were exhausted honey. Don't worry I got up with the baby every two hours...she's fine! Aren't you sweet heart...yes you are...you're such a pretty little girl!" Maura cooed at Angela who giggled and clapped her hands.

"Baby...you didn't have to do that, I would have gotten up!" I wailed.

"Honey you were snoring so loudly even Consuela heard you and you never snore. Besides you're a grumpy person when you're tired and we've got a big day today!" Maura insisted.

"What are we doing?" I asked nervously.

"Car shopping," Maura said casually.

I narrowed my eyes.

"You have a limo driver," I said levelly.

"Yes but limo's aren't safe for children, especially babies. You need a car for Angela,"

I rolled my eyes.

"I can take Angela on the bus or take a taxi or something!"

Maura looked at me in horror. Then her expression changed into one that brokered no argument.

"Absolutely NOT!" Maura spat at me.

I sighed. I sat at the table and pouted through breakfast. Maura barely noticed. She was busy with Angela. Consuela winked at me when she laid my plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. I noticed there were a few extra strips of bacon than she normally gave me. I ate quietly while Maura chatted away about safety features of different cars. I barely heard her. I was busy working an argument in my head of why Maura didn't need to buy me a car.

"Maura, Percy drives your Mercedes too...can't Angela and I use that if we need to go somewhere?"

Maura rolled her eyes.

"What if you and I need to go somewhere different at the same time and I want to take the Mercedes? What if the Nanny needs to go somewhere with Angela while you and I are away? You're getting a car and that's final!"

I grumbled. Maura was so stubborn! When Angela was finished eating Maura pulled her from her high chair. I reached to take her but before I could Angela coughed up creamed melon all over Maura's fresh blouse.

I laughed.