Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
Chapter Thirty-Three
*Masen's POV*
Numbness would be the best way to describe how I was feeling right now. I didn't want to live before this. I wanted to throw my body into an endless chasm and just pray I'd be reunited with her. I needed her more than anything else in this world. When you're entire existence becomes grounded on a single person, it's beautiful, consuming, yet absolutely soul crushing when they're ripped from you.
I wanted to die, oh god how I wished for death. Then Ness reminded me of him.
The baby laying against my knees lost the same person I did. A person he'd never get to fully enjoy. My heart twisted at the thought of Tyler never truly getting to meet his mother. God, Grace only held him once. Once. Now, here I was with the only thing anchoring me to this life.
Tyler Edward Cullen. I wanted to do Tyler Edward Martin-Cullen, but Grace insisted Cullen since we planned to be married one day. She wanted to be Grace Cullen, not just because of me though. It was so she'd be Renesmee's sister and a Cullen, even though she was already one, I know she wanted to be known as a Cullen as much as she loved being a Martin.
Lily and Ethan were with me right now. I guess they were on Masen duty again, but I know Lily was worried for me. She only wanted to make sure I didn't feel alone during this whole process. After all, she is my person.
As of now, Lily and Ethan were asleep on the bed across from me. Meanwhile I was propped on the couch with my son. He was dreaming right now and I could see images of Grace flash in his mind. He missed her. He didn't quite understand yet, but I think he knew she wasn't coming back.
"Hey." I look up to see Robert. He was leaning against the doorway with his eyes fixated on the baby in my grasp.
"Hi," I replied, my voice tight. I wasn't sure how Robert was going to react. His eyes were red rimmed from all the crying and he had dark circles under his eyes. He and Elaine have been with Grace since they came back. I haven't had the chance to even look at her... My stomach twisted just thinking about what happened.
"Can I see my nephew?" Robert asked me quietly.
"Of course," I said as Robert walked over towards the two of us. Gently, I picked up my son and placed him in Robert's arms.
"He looks like her," Robert mused, rocking the baby soundlessly in his arms.
"He's even got her eyes," I added.
Robert smiled a little at this, "I...I feared her death. I knew it'd come one day because I assumed she'd marry a mortal and then the two of them would grow old and die...I didn't expect all of this, but it happened and instead of having eighty plus years with her...I only had eighteen. Eighteen short years...I dreaded for this day to happen. I just didn't think it would happen so soon."
Robert's eyes teared up at this. I could see images of a small Grace in Robert's mind. She had a toothy grin as her arms reached out for her big brother.
"And when the two of you got together, suddenly this new exciting thought came to me that maybe she'd become immortal and I wouldn't have to worry about ever losing her," Robert explained to me, the tears falling down his cheeks. "But I guess I was wrong."
"I'm so sorry, Robert," I whispered to him. "I'm sorry I didn't protect-"
"Stop, Masen," He told me curtly. "You...You couldn't have done anything. I know what happened and it's okay. Alright? I couldn't do anything and knowing Grace she'd kick our butts if she knew we were blaming ourselves. We can only blame Aro and his twisted nature."
"I still wish I could've saved her," I told him softly.
"Esme and Rosalie have been nice enough to...To prepare her," Robert said, swallowing hard. "They...My mom wants to burry her besides dad's grave in Washington. I...We have to call Tyler's side of the family. We haven't seen them in so long..."
"Oh," I said softly.
"You...You should say goodbye to her," Robert told me. "Just see her one last time."
"I can't," I said, shaking my head. "I don't think I'll be able to stand it...I just...He needs me."
"He'll be here," Robert said, rocking him gently. "I'll make sure of it. Tell Grace that you love her. You should say goodbye…It helps."
I bit my lip, "I...Alright. I guess."
I then got up and slowly made my way towards the door. "And Masen!" Robert called out.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"I'm...I'm glad you were her mate. She loved you," Robert told me tearfully. "She loved you so much. So much….You made my sister happier than anyone had in a long time and I don't think I can ever repay you for that so...Thank you."
"She made me just as happy," I replied wistfully.
"Cordelia, Mom, and I were thinking," Robert said, trailing off. "I don't know what you planned on after this. I know you'd probably want to be with your family, but wherever you go...We're going. I want to be involved in my nephew's life. I want to tell him all about his mother and I know my mom does too. That's the last tie we have to Grace...If you don't mind."
"Of course," I answered, placing my hand on Robert's shoulder. "You know...I asked her to marry me before all of this."
"You did?" Robert mentioned, his lips forming into a smile. "I assume she said yes."
"She did," I replied, chuckling. "Let me guess though, you knew."
"Yeah, I kind of knew," Robert confessed, smirking. "Grace told me. Only me. She was excited and well, you know how it is."
I smiled at him, "Well...Thought you should know I was in it for life with her."
Robert nodded, "I know...Masen, even though she's not with us now...We're still brothers because of her. Always will be."
"Brothers," I repeated, giving him a small smile before leaving to see Grace.
My heart beat hard against my chest as I walked towards the room she was in. My hand gripped to the doorway as I looked to see her lying there.
Grace looked like she always had before the pregnancy. I noticed the cut where Aro's guard had used to slice her neck open was gone. Ava or Elaine must've healed it...Her blonde curls were combed and she was in a light blue dress. Her eyes were closed and her entire body was just...Still. She looked as if she was sleeping, but let's face it. Grace never slept like this. Whens he slept, she slept on her side and if it was on her back, she would've slung an arm across her face. Instead, her hands were neatly folded on her lap. Her chest wasn't moving up and down and her heart wasn't beating anymore. It was just so still.
I hated it.
I swallowed hard and walked towards her body. Gently, I grasped her hand in mine. It wasn't it's usual warm touch. It was ice cold.
"Hey baby," I whispered, rubbing her hand. "I can't believe this is it. Seems like yesterday you were slamming right into me, fumbling around. We were just starting and I can't believe that...That this is it. We were supposed to be together forever. I...We were supposed to be going to Boston in two weeks. We were going to have that apartment and you were going to school. Then the baby happened and we were so focused on starting a family after that. Our lives were so good, Grace."
I paused and thought back to the baby in the other room. "Our son looks just like you. He has your smile, your hair, and your eyes...His name's Tyler Edward, just like you wanted. He's a heavy sleeper, I'll give him that. He hasn't been giving dad a hard time, but he misses you. He has dreams of you...I just...God, Grace. I love you."
The tears were pouring from my eyes as our hands coiled together. I was choking on my sobs. "I love you so much and I'll protect our son. I promise. I will guard him with my life...God, baby. I miss you. I miss you so much. I need you- But I'll get through this. One day, maybe, I'll see you again. I can only dream of seeing your face...Hopefully I don't become like Marcus...But I understand his pain. I understand what your mom went through and it sucks. I just...I just love you, okay? I love you. I love you. I love you so damn much."
I then pressed my lips firmly to her forehead one last time, brushing her cheek with the pad of my thumb. I took a deep breath and then forced myself from the room. Images flashing through my mind…
...
"Who's that?" I asked. A medium height girl with blonde curls that reached all the way to her mid back. The grayness of the uniform brought out her bright blue eyes. Her face looked porcelain, almost like a doll's. A black beanie, of all things, was on her head. She was traveling to a nearby lunch table.
It was our first day of school. I was sitting with my family, but my eyes caught the attention of this beautiful girl. I couldn't stop starring at her.
"That's Grace. She keeps to herself," Bryan informed me.
...
Grace sighed as she placed her jacket down. It was the very first night I had ever been into her house, and I could tell something was bothering her. "Masen...This is going to sound weird, or maybe not...But I um, I thought that maybe you hated me..."
I looked up at her with shock when I heard those words. "Grace, I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
"But why do I feel like you seem so I don't know...Weirded out about me or I don't know, distracted."
"Grace...You...I can't believe I'm saying this, but you drive me crazy," I said to her gently, taking both of her warm hands in mine. "I can't read your mind, you're pretty amazing, and...I feel like I need to protect you. I don't know why though."
"Protect me? From what?" she asked slowly, narrowing her eyes. "I don't exactly need protection..."
"I don't know, Grace. It's just, confusing," I admit to her. She sighed as she took a few steps closer to me. She was only a few inches away from my face now and I could feel her breath tickling my skin. Everything was making my senses run wild. My heart was beating faster than it has ever before and it felt like I couldn't even breathe.
Grace goes to place her hand on my chest as she looks up at me with innocent blue eyes. "I know," she admitted. "I know Masen. There's something about you...But I don't get it either."
"Maybe we'll figure it out," I said to her lamely. I slowly grab the hand on my chest and hold it tight to the spot right above my heart.
"I feel happy with you Masen, and your family. I don't want to lose any of you," She said to me.
"And you won't. Promise," I whispered to her. She smiled at me as she leant forward to give me a surprise peck on the cheek.
"Thank you," She whispered. I nodded, smiling as I then went to pull her into a hug.
"Masen?" she asked me in a muffle response.
"Yeah?"
"Do you mind staying with me for a bit. I know it's weird but..."
"Sure, I don't mind," I said to her. She smiled softly as we then headed into her bedroom for the night.
...
"Of what? Tell me!" I demanded, walking closer to her. My birthday, New Years of 2013. The snow starting to flurry as Grace and I stood outside of our townhouse. "What is it?"
"Because I love you!" Grace yelled at me. I suddenly stopped and looked at her, wide eyed. "I'm scared...I'm scared to love you because it goes against everything I ever was taught!"
"What?" I whispered, clearly shocked. My heart beating widely against my chest.
"You heard me! I love you! Isn't this something you've been waiting for me to say for a long time? Why are you so shocked!?" Grace cried out, getting up away from the wall. Her eyes blazing with rage. "For god's sake, I am so in love with you. I've always loved you, ever since we freaking met but I couldn't process what I felt because I'm so screwed up!"
"You really love me?" I questioned softly, dumbfounded.
"Yes. I want you. I want us and I want it to be real. I'm sick of us chasing each other around. I'm done with having things in my life go wrong, things I can't control. That's why I want this, because I know it was meant to be with you. This is the one thing in my life I'm sure about right now and the one thing I can control, us being together, because let's face it we need each other. We can't keep separating and breaking up. It's destroying us more and more! So I love you. I love you Masen Anthony Cullen, and I don't give a damn what anyone things. I love you!"
Grace was breathing heavily after that rant. Her blue eyes blazing as she looked at me, hoping form some response. I could see tears welding up in them. "Masen? Say something! Anything!"
I did what I needed to next. "Come here," I muttered, pulling her close to my chest. I then placed a kiss on her lips, and god did it feel so good. Her lips molding to mine as my hands ran through her blonde locks. Her arms wrapped around my neck as we both held on to each other. It felt just like the movies, millions of sparks going off in my head.
"I love you," I told her, wiping the tears out of her eyes. I could feel my own eyes watering up. "I've been in love with you since we first me. You are the only one I ever want to be with, Grace. I love you. I love you. I love you so freaking much."
She smiled, laughing a little, before we both hugged one another tightly. "Oh god, it feels so good just to say that," She whispered into my shoulder. "I love you. I love you." We both laughed as we pulled apart, her hand cupping my cheek.
...
I swallowed hard, the memories taking over me like a gigantic wave. I took a deep breath, taking one last look at my love before stepping out of the room. I felt like I was going to crack, but that was until my eyes met those of Carolyn's stone cold ones. She was staring at me blankly and with her arms across her chest.
"Masen," She addressed me curtly.
"Look, if you're here to reprimand me...I'm sorry. Just know I loved your granddaughter and I wish it was me lying there instead of her," I told the older woman, my voice quivering. "Just know she was my life."
"I know," The woman replied softly. "And I'm sorry. I should've given you more credit, Masen."
I paused for a moment before responding quietly, "Thanks."
"In the meantime, don't fret," Carolyn told me, taking a deep breath. "You'll be fine. Trust me. Take it from someone who's been in your place."
I nodded, "I hope."
"You will," She replied, her voice tight. "In the meantime, go to your son. Hug him. Make him know he's loved."
"I will," I vowed. Carolyn nodded her head at me before entering the room with Grace in it. I then slowly made my way back to the bedroom where Robert was. Lily was awake now, sitting in the bed with Ethan passed out in her lap. The two looked at me with solemn eyes as I gently picked up my son and did what I was doing for the past day, held him.
Later that night, I sat awake watching my sleeping son's form. I wanted to sob, but I didn't. I just stroked his hair and tried to keep it together. Lily sat with me for most of it and Ethan eventually woke up again to be with me. I was glad they were here.
That's when I heard some words being spoken in the silent house. I froze, sharing looks with Lily and Ethan. Then, there was a thump, almost like a body falling to the floor.
"Here," I said, handing Ethan the baby. He raised an eyebrow at me as I dashed out of the room to the sound. Lily was following me.
"Masen? What are you doing?" Lily hissed. "Now is not the time to be putting your life in danger! You have a kid you moron!"
"Shhh!" I hissed, rushing to the entrance of the door.
"What's going on?" I look to see Ava, Elaine, and Robert coming towards us.
"Why are you guys awake too?" Lily asked, running a hand through her hair. "What's going on?"
"There was a disturbance within our magic," Ava explained worriedly.
"I felt it too," Daniel, the twins younger brother, said coming over. The Lexington twins were right behind him. It was weird seeing the three of them. They've been very hush hush the past day. What I've gathered from Daniel's mind is it's because they want to let us mourn, but that's how far I got. Hazel infiltrates minds and doesn't like me reading her little brother's mind so the kid's been off limits. Violet doesn't seem to care though. She's even caught me reading her mind. She reminds me way too much of bubbly Aunt Alice. I think we need that bubbly right now especially since my aunt hasn't said a word since she got back and found her daughter gone.
"Where's mom?" Elaine asked, looking around to see one witch was missing from the household.
"Something's going on in this room and intent to find out," I declared, pushing the door open.
When I opened the door, it only took one look and I felt my heart stop.
A/N: It's been awhile but here you go guys! Keep on the look out for the next update! Thanks for reading! :)
