Restoring the Family Honor

Chapter 2; In this situation, Gynophobia is Understandable

The real reason Jaune never trained to be a hunter is that he was busy fighting the temptation to be a playboy. It's Jaune vs. his imagined Harem. AU, Some crack.

Disclaimer; I don't own RWBY and this is total AU. Enjoy the ride, check author's note at the end for concerns, and kindly leave a review.

This is told primarily from Jaune's perspective, and he is not the most reliable narrator. Other perspectives will likely be equally unreliable.

-Honor-

Jaune felt terrible. For the first time in his life, he had outright lied to his family; telling them that the airship to Beacon Academy was for students only. Really, it was for students and any staff that still needed to get on campus, which inconveniently now included all seven of his sisters in one way or another.

His stomach lurched. He had hoped so earnestly that going away to Beacon would be a fresh start, a new beginning to his legacy, un-ruled by the seven pagan goddesses that dominated his life. After Cherri uncovered his plan, he had to tell the whole family at the dinner table. And by Oum's spiteful will, all seven of them had received varying job offers from Beacon within the last two weeks. There was obviously a conspiracy to either kill him or turn him into a massive pervert, which would swiftly and inevitably lead to suicide via exhaustion. Such sweet and pleasurable exhaustion…

Now there was some burning in his throat. Going to have to take care of that; focusing on his sisters wasn't helping like he thought it would. Motion sickness sucks.

Thus our intrepid universal chew toy set off to acquire some assistance of the female variety. Optimal help would be finding some girl to let him use her lap as a pillow, but he just got away from women who were far too eager for him to do that, and he was not in a hurry to find more.

Really, he just needed a girl willing to let him braid her hair. Or give a massage. Or dance with him. Or really anything that would focus his attention onto a girl, up to and including that special dance where it's just him on stage and his clothes somehow disappear. But braiding is the one that any random girl is the most likely to agree to.

His salvation was delivered to him in the form of a red-cloaked girl. She was just spit out of a crowd of beacon students and stumbled into him.

It seemed for the first time that Oum was rewarding him for his perseverance and dedication to a noble goal. Deciding to take the offered gift, he placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.

She whipped around and flailed her arms in a motion that was supposed to somehow resemble karate. Suffice to say, it did not, but it did make her look extra adorable. He put up his hands in mock surrender and gave the "special smile reserved for the company of pretty girls and beautiful ladies", Trademark Jirai Entertainment Industries.

As skeptical as he was of the smile (It always seemed to magnetically attract his sisters, that is to say, trouble) it must have done something since she put down her hands and smiled back. Phase one of plan "Don't throw up" is a success! Now onto the talking part…

"If I help you, will you let me braid your hair?" "Real smooth, Jaune Arc, Real smooth. Thousands of hours of tutoring and practice with much more intimidating girls, and the first chance you get to talk to a girl that isn't crazy, and you immediately come off sounding weird."

"What?"

"Uh-oh, here comes a rant."

"How did you know I needed help finding my sister? Thank you! Everyone is taller than me because I skipped two years and I don't have any friends and…"

"She's going to cry! Please don't cry! I do stupid things when girls cry! I just barely escaped ruining my image forever with the first thing I said, don't make this harder!" "Jaune Arc could never fail to help someone in need! But… I'll need some help myself after. I get motion sick and need something to focus my attention, so after we find your sister-

"Ruby Rose! There you are!" A blonde beauty pushed through the crowd and caught the red girl in a tight hug.

"Sure, take away my moment of glory. Why do you hate me Oum?"

"Ohh, I'm so happy my baby sister gets to go to Beacon with me! This is the Best Day Ever!"

Jaune felt such sympathy for the younger sister. He knew the powers of sister-hugs. They are impossible to escape and lethal in large doses. The poor girl just barely managed to croak out a plea to stop.

Of course, once she had finished the hug, her attention turned to the blonde man. By the time he realized the danger, it was too late to escape. "And who's this? Ruby, did you make a friend?" The death threat that accompanied the words went unsaid, but it was expressed quite clearly in her eyes.

"This is Jaune! He was going to help me look for you since he's tall!

"Yes. That's good. Nothing about the weird braiding request. I'm just a nice guy, and since she found her sister, I'll just quietly sneak away and find a different girl to help, 'cuz I'm just a harmless nice guy."

"Then he's going to braid my hair!"

"Aaaand now I sound like a creep. Quick, make myself seem like a harmless socially inept dork!" "Yeah, I was in a bit of a hairy situation. I get sick if I'm not focusing on something, so your sister Rose to the occasion. Don't worry, I wasn't going to take advantage of her like she was a Rube-y." "Good job. Thousands of hours learning how to be suave and talk to girl, and being an awkward dork still comes naturally. Good to know that Jirai wasted his time."

The blonde girl glared at him intensely for a second before bursting out in hearty guffaws. She was quite good at faking laughter over terrible jokes it seemed. Before he could enact his escape plan, she caught his head under her arm. "Thanks for helping my sister, Hair Knight." Great, his time at beacon will now be defined by a spur of the moment bad pun. "You can take your noble reward in a second, I just have one question." She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Are you gay?"

His mind way already in overdrive trying to ignore the far too pleasant feeling of the young woman squishing herself against him, and the question caught him off guard. He had to take a few seconds and let his brain reboot.

Of course, she continued to speak in that time. "I mean, you offer to help a cute girl and the reward you ask for is braiding her hair? Most straight guys would use that as an in to reach the hair down there, not the stuff up top. Though, they do say that gays are better at those girly things, too. It's okay if you are, just tell me. I definitely wouldn't mind having a gay best friend around. I'll let Ruby know you're harmless and that she doesn't have to dress up when you come over to visit her..."

Jaune's brain finally caught up a good thirty seconds after she asked the question. "Most definitely straight! And even if I was gay, you'd probably be making me reconsider right now." "I mean, you'd only have to reach down to find your proof. Why are all the crazy ones so hot?"

A cocky smile graced her lips as she released him. "Damn Straight!"

Jaune actually had a witty reply ready for that one, but Ruby interrupted before he could redeem his image. "Yaaaang! Stop stealing my friends! You promised you wouldn't when you graduated Signal!"

"What? You'd rather get your hair braided by a boy you just met than Yang out with your sister? I'm so proud! My little Ruby is all grown up! Now listen, you have to make sure you're always on top. You can never trust a guy to keep a good rhythm if you let him take full control. Also, keep Crescent Rose nearby in case he does anything you don't like, and always use protection."

"Yaaang!" the younger sister's face was as red as her cloak. "He's just going to braid my hair to avoid airsickness! He's not like the boys at Signal that you used to hang around with."

The addition of that one little detail made the sister's eyes narrow. "What kind of a solution is braiding? That doesn't make sense. If you asked to use her lap as a pillow, I'd understand, but…"

"And now I'm back to near execution." "It doesn't have to be braiding, just something to focus my attention! Would you rather I asked to give her a massage? Or actually put my head on her lap?"

The woman's bracelets expanded into gauntlets and she stared down the young Arc. When he didn't cower, she gave a huff and crossed her arms on her chest. It was obviously a test. Jaune moved his eyes to stare directly at the girl's eyes. He refused to look away, even though he really wanted to… "No, Bad hormones! I thought you learned your lesson! Do we need to find a waterfall again?" a jolt of turbulence broke his concentration and he was forced to block out the view of those golden valleys with his hands clasped together.

The action made a light of realization gleam in the woman's eyes. "Oh, I get it! You're a monk! Resist the temptations of the flesh and all that; no wonder you're so awkward. Alright, I'll let you be Ruby's friend." Ruby's pout at her sister's interference went largely ignored. "And you know, if you ever feel like you're going to fall into temptation, I'll be a friend and make sure you never have to worry about that at all." The sound of a can being crushed punctuated her kind offer.

"How does she manage to make those threats while still sounding flirty? And why do I always end up surrounded by hot girls that are too crazy to touch?"

"And after you're done with her, I want a massage. You wouldn't believe how sore my shoulders get. Don't worry about your vows, I'll take any poking as a compliment."

"Why Oum? Was I super annoying in my past life or something? Why couldn't you have just let me flounder around socially rather than being drowned in girls that want to kill me?"

-Beacon Academy-

"You have a little crown now! It's so cute! I'm going to be beating boys away!" Why did she sound so happy about that?

"Yaang! You're scaring all the new weapons away!" Wait, what?

"Ruby, you have to meet new people, you can't just ogle their weapons." Something must be wrong with both of them.

"But their weapons are the best part! They have more personality and never try to use you just to get closer to your sister." Uh-oh, she has issues. It's okay, just carefully walk away while they're standing still and having their conversation, you just didn't want to be late for the speech.

"Yeah, well, about that… IhavesomethingstodowithsomefriendsfromSignal! Seeya,Bye!"

"Okay that's my cue to leave Ruby to make her own friends. Just walk-"

"I expect you to take care of my sister, Arcolyte, or Oum's wrath will have to wait for me to finish mine!"

"Damn. Not again."

With that, the blonde girl was gone, leaving Jaune and Ruby to awkwardly figure out what to do.

"Sooo, do you get any special paladin powers for being a monk and a hunter? Like, a glowing sword, or healing spell? Oh! Can you get Oum to smite whoever's always stealing from my cookie jar?"

"Ruby, I'm pretty sure any weapon can glow if you put aura into it." "Why didn't I just become a monk? That would have been so much better! Maybe it isn't too late to atone for whatever I did wrong… How messed up has my life gotten that I'm seriously considering a vow of chastity at seventeen?"

"So that's a yes, then! Let me see it, Let me see it!"

He barely managed to draw his sword before it was snatched out of his hand by the hyper-active girl.

"Oooo, I'm so exited! This is one of the famous Arc swords! Seven thousand layers of high yield steel, titanium and nanocarbon, twisted and braided to leave the signature arcs on the blade, perfectly crafted to create high speed vibrations when fed aura! This thing has been around so many battles that it practically has its own aura!"

"A major weapon nut… It's okay, everyone has their quirks. It could be worse, at least it's a helpful one. So long as it within reason- Wait, is she cuddling it?"

"Who's a good sword? You're a good sword! Ohh, yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Okay, so it's a bit out of hand. She's still a nice quirky girl, perfect friend material. I'll just make sure to help her make some more friends to distribute the load. So long as she doesn't get clingy or try to go romantic- Wait, where did that scythe come from?"

"Meet Crescent Rose, isn't she adorable? You think so too? Rose thinks you're awesome too! Don't they look so cute together, Jaune?"

"Don't say yes, whatever you do don't say yes. If you do then there is no escape. Do you really want to be relaxing on the couch, then suddenly a cold scythe is cuddling into your side?" "Yeah, they should get together." "Damn it, Mouth! I will have you Court Marshalled!"

"You're Right! They should be Dating!"

"Why do I get the impression that this girl didn't have any dolls growing up? And why am I now imagining her using her weapons as dolls? AND WHY DOES IT LOOK SO DAMNED ADORABLE! I JUST WANT TO PICK HER UP AND HUG HER AND CUDDLE HER!... DAMN IT IMAGINATION, YOU HAVE BETRAYED MEEEEEE!"

"Whoosh, whoosh. Slice, slice. Hehe. Crocea Mors is showing off for Crescent Rose!"

"Whoah, Ruby, watch where you swinging-"

"My Dust!" Because luck would have it no other way, Ruby had somehow managed to slice open every single case on a passing trolley.

"And of course the dust would belong to Schnee Heiress, because Oum hates me. I can only hope she doesn't recognize me…"

The chill of ice trapping his legs made him toss that hope onto the mountain of other things that were too good to be true.

"And Where do You think You're going, Idiot?"

"And she's still a Tsundere. You can practically hear the capitalization on that. Okay, just flirt with her and she'll leave in a huff like always. Make sure it's bad, stab her issues; that should make her mad. A mad Weiss doesn't try to do things." "Good morning, Snow Angel. Do you still need to be Daddy's perfect ice sculpture or will you let me in? You don't have to be alone, you know." The ice rose to encase his chest. Her face was red. "Oh crap, did I mess up messing up? Did I come off as too caring, I thought that cheesy nickname was perfect for driving her off! Why are you blushing?! You're supposed to be storming off by now!"

"Well, some of us have an image to uphold. What would you ancestors think, seeing you give one of their heirlooms to be used as a toy for a child?"

"Critical hit. Right to the honor. Sometimes it really does seem that she's the only one who understands me. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to give her a chance."

"Your uncle's scandals have already dragged the Arc name through the mud by associating it with his filth and womanizing, and I won't let you tarnish the reputation of our largest trading partner with your own perversions!"

"And then she keeps talking and I realize she's so far off the mark…"

"You didn't even have the decency to chase after a woman who might have been able to take your perversity. No, instead you went for a girl-"

"I need to cut her off before Yang catches wind of this and kills me. Terrible flirting to the next level, then. Get her actually mad this time." "She reminded me a little of you, even if she lacks your grace. And you know my weakness to cute girls." "The Hell was that? It was supposed to be BAD flirting, not just cheesy! At this rate, she's going to stop hating me!"

That caught her attention and actually made her stop as red dominated her face. "I-I see. Yes, yes that would do it. That of course makes this indirectly my responsibility to correct. Jaune! I will take responsibility. You will be an honest man yet."

Confidant that she had the last word that needed to be said, Weiss strode off, leaving servants to take care of the dust and Jaune stuck in the ice.

"She didn't hit me. That's… not a good sign… Why am I worried that a girl isn't being abusive?" the ice chilling his flesh answered that question. "Oh right. It's either she hits me and leaves me alone, or she follows my every move to punish me whenever I don't live up to her expectations. Or worse, tries to reward me when I do. Why don't I know any sane girls?"

With as heavy a sigh as the ice would allow, Jaune started trying to break free. Thankfully Ruby contributed. And by that, I mean that she whacked at the Arcsicle with Crescent Rose. "What was her problem? She seemed really crabby."

"Weiss? No, she's just been held to an impossible standard her whole life. To cope, she's taken to verbally flogging anyone who fails to cater to her idea of how the world should be."

"She sounds like a spoiled brat."

"She's just lonely…" "And a tsundere, but she doesn't need to know about that."

"So, how do you know each other? Did you get in a fight before? What's her weapon!?"

"No, no, it wasn't a fight. Her father and my uncle are business partners so we get dragged along to a lot of the same events." "And her father is trying to arrange a marriage so the companies can merge, but that's neither here nor there. I just wish that Weiss could have stayed over there. I'm trying to get away from all the craziness that being the Arc heir brought me… And maybe get a nice, sane, normal girlfriend. At least she'll hopefully help to keep the temptation down by ruining my reputation and scaring all the girls away…"

"What did she mean about 'your perversions'?"

"But that won't stop the fact that now Yang is going to kill me. Eh, might be preferable. Aaand that wins the award for least comforting thought ever. I'm screwed, aren't I?"

As the two teens made their way to the Orientation room, the servants lagged behind. They pulled out their scrolls and quickly compiled a report for their masters. As the messages left they sent a salute to the man destined to fulfill the dream of all men.

In his brightly lit corporate office, Jacques Schnee was calmly running a few numbers for the next quarter when his scroll dinged with a message. Recognizing the number as one of the men he sent to Beacon with his daughter, he gave orders for the office to be converted. In just a few minutes, the shades were drawn to cast gloom across the table, and the screen that had just displayed figures and calculations were filled with machinations and plots. The conversion to evil lair was finished as the ominous lightning effects came on and the oppressive sound of an organ filled the space.

Finally ready, he opened the message and read its contents with glee. "All according to Plan. Mwha ha ha ha ha!" The thunder crashed as the cackling continued. When the therapeutic evil laughter had finished, he strode out of the office to leave the servants to their task. "Now get this back to an office, I have a conference call with Ironwood in two minutes and it has to be spotless in there." Truly an evil man.

-Chapter 2 End-

The wonderful thing about writing with an unreliable narrator is that no one can blame you (the author) of misrepresenting a character, because it's really just the narrator misunderstanding the character. A perfect catch-all. Sadly doesn't excuse any grammar mishaps, but nothings perfectly perfect.

So then, how does Jaune see the girls so far? Ruby is a cute, but a major weapons nut (It is far too easy to see her using weapons as dolls) that brings along the murderous baggage of her older sister. Yang is hot as a furnace, but also a murderous older sister that has made it her goal to make his life just as difficult as it was at home. And Weiss is a tsundere. Does anything more need to really be said? But really, she's kind of like a young Goodwitch; except instead of a crop, it's freezing you in ice and berating you.

And yes, All seven of Jaune's sisters will be brought in to simultaneously make men jealous and Jaune miserable. I may do a chapter in the future that brings out their history with Jaune, or I could not and just leave everything for you to imagine. The second will probably be more fun.