Restoring the Family Honor
Chapter 3;
The real reason Jaune never trained to be a hunter is that he was busy fighting the temptation to be a playboy. It's Jaune vs. his imagined Harem. AU, Some crack.
Disclaimer; I don't own RWBY and this is total AU. Enjoy the ride, check author's note at the end for concerns, and kindly leave a review.
This is told primarily from Jaune's perspective, and he is not the most reliable narrator. Other perspectives will likely be equally unreliable.
-Honor-
"Somehow, this has become my life. I set out to become a huntsman, and fulfill our honor as a defender of the weak and savior of damsels in distress. In reality, I'm frantically trying to prevent girls from getting mad and killing me or tempting me so much that I snap and end up killing myself."
Jaune had intended to change into his safe, concealing pajamas and go to bed early before any other girls decided to torment him, but his sisters had other ideas. They kidnapped him, stripped him down to his boxers, and were currently forcing him to participate in their crazy idea for a book-signing slash massage parlor to quote "Help relieve some stress before initiation." Sure, he was only credited with co-authorship, but that didn't mean he wanted everyone to know that he was dragged into helping his uncle with his filthy books!
But despite his protests, they went forward with their plan. The end result was him straddling the smooth and sexy back of one Blake Belladonna as she tried to receive a massage and hold an intelligent conversation about one of her favorite books.
"Oooh, that's the spot! I mean- Ummm the drawings are real, right?"
His blush was barely evident, the result of seven years of experience in this sort of situation with his sisters. Though, he was already wary of them, and this girl seemed nice, if a little quiet. "Uncle Jirai does the drawings, but I was the model for the main character, Ki. He makes a few sketches on the scene, but most are drawn from imagination and posing."
"Did" She sounded rather enthusiastic about whatever she was going to ask, but was interrupted by one of her own moans. "Did you practice any? Of the scenes? They're real, right?"
"It's kind of awkward to admit, but that whole book is almost entirely made up of events from my life. Everything in there happened to me… but certain instances were exaggerated." "She's such a nice girl! Please don't turn out to be some kind of deviant! Please just let one girl turn out to be sane and well adjusted…"
The girl seemed to gain a light in her eyes. This conversation was obviously going her way. Either that or she just really liked the massage. Was that a purr? "So that mission to the Schnee Mines in volume three really happened the way it was written."
"Thank goodness, it's a completely normal thing." "Yeah, my sister Cherri just wanted help heal some of the protesters from back when the White Fang was just starting to turn to violence. She got dragged into what was supposed to be a rescue mission-"
"But it was really meant to sabotage the mines, I know. And Ki threw away his chance to escape with his sister to save Neko from a cave-in. But she turned out to be a member of the Fang and captured him when he was weak from digging her out. I was actually wondering about the interrogation after."
"Something seems off about- No! Don't jump to conclusions!"
"In the book, it said that you started having feelings for Neko halfway through interrogation, and you wanted to convince her to come with you when you left." She seemed kind of exited. That was a bad sign by this point. "Do you still feel the same way?"
"Why is she asking- Wait… the book said that I was passed out when I was captured. The only way she would know… No way… of all the possible coincidences…" Everything fell into place. She was there back then. "Blake? Is that really you? Did you leave the Fang? When?"
With force that spoke of far too much eagerness, she flipped him over so that she was the one straddling him, and bound his hands with a ribbon. "Please don't turn into a recreation of the bondage semi-rape semi-cuddling semi-seduction semi-interrogation thing from chapter 23. It was awkward enough the way it really happened without Uncle's exaggerations."
"I just lost my partner to his own fanaticism, and I'm not going to let you go. I'm taking your offer. I'm starting a new life. You'll stay with me, right?"
"How can she be so cute while sitting on top of me and basically holding me hostage to be her partner? I blame the ears. Curse my weakness to cute faunus." "I will never abandon you, but you'll have to keep me from doing anything too stupid, okay?"
She leaned down with a smile on her face. And proceeded to bind him with more ribbon. She was far too good at it. "You don't actually get a choice, but it's nice that you're willing. I'll make sure you enjoy it then."
"Okay, she has some trust issues… and is into bondage… that first one kind of makes sense. I mean, she did just leave behind what was her life for almost a decade after her partner went crazy. She needs some time to adjust and get used to the new status quo. And since I was someone friendly from her 'past life' it makes sense she'd cling to someone familiar. If she didn't do this, she'd probably cut herself off from everyone and start obsessing over the Fang while hiding behind books instead of moving on. This is moderately preferable. That still doesn't make this easier. Did she really need to frame my crotch that well? Watch the claws! Please don't nuzzle there! Wait, did my sisters set all this up just to have this happen?"
Seven pairs of eyes watched as the cat faunus curled into a ball on Jaune's chest and fell asleep with a soft purr. High fives were passed around and one phrase was whispered back and forth.
"All according to Plan!"
-Next Morning-
"I take back what I said last night, I'd prefer it if she had cut herself off from people and retreated into her books." When Jaune woke up that morning, Blake was already gone and he was free from his bindings. He was able to get up and prepared without her leaping at him even though he hadn't contacted her in the last five minutes, so that would seem to be a point in her favor. But she left him with one little souvenir.
A collar. Already on his neck. Complete with a cat bell.
He was only 80% sure that the bell was hiding some kind of tracker, but he was 100% sure that the ringing was as annoying as hell. "Scratch one off the potential girlfriend list, reason; clingy, bondage dominatrix, and literally put a bell on me. If that doesn't point to signs of being jealous girlfriend I don't know what does. That leaves… absolutely no-one on the 'datable girls I know' list. That vow of chastity is sounding very tempting. Might as well get something out of it. Maybe then I'll get those paladin powers; bring down some divine smiting on some Grimm ass!"
His contemplation had taken him most of the length of the hallway and right into the perilous vicinity of Weiss. Between the bell and the suspicious pile of lockers blocking half the hallway, there was no way to avoid detection and a tongue lashing. The only solution remaining is the full-frontal flirt. That is, full force flirting, not flirting with full frontal- …never mind.
"Okay, she has another girl with her. Go in with some strong compliments, then immediately switch gears to flirting with the other girl. Once she hits me and storms off, play the distraught friend trying to fit in. Unless the other turns out to be nice, quirky, and most of all sane; then spill some secrets and go on the path of charming! I've planned this, I won't be caught off guard, let's go!" "Good morning Snow Angel, you look ready to crush men's hearts as well as Grimm."
Her first response was to freeze the soles of his shoes to the floor. Good sign? much less than normal at least. She did look inordinately pleased about something. "So you are able to give proper compliments. There's hope for you yet." She stepped to the side and made a gesture toward the red-head to whom she was speaking. "Meet Pyrrha Nikos, four time Mistral Regional champion, top of her class at Sanctum-"
"And the one who beat out my sister Lorelei for the Pumpkin Pete's brand deal." "Crap, I wasn't expecting this! She's introducing me! She actually wants me to interact with her and be nice! Okay, change of plans. Rather than rain compliments, treat her like a normal girl, then Weiss will get mad that I'm not showing her the proper respect. Yeah, that'll work." "The name's Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, rolls off the tongue. The Ladies love it. Nice to meet ya'." "Yes, one of Jirai's opening bar lines, that's perfect."
"It's nice to meet you too. I'm sorry about the sponsorship, I hope your sister wasn't mad."
He gave a charming smile. The girl seemed- no. He wasn't going to jinx it. "She was devastated for about a week. Then she actually tried the stuff and spit it out as soon as it touched her tongue. Apparently, the cereal tastes like a caramel pumpkin dipped in sugar, soaked in molasses, injected with syrup, and then inflated and left to go stale. I just hope you at least enjoyed the modeling, because she would have been hating it."
She gave a polite smile. "It was fun, even if the cereal isn't that good for you."
"Then someone benefitted from it. But you looked a little uncomfortable before, what were you talking about?"
Weiss cut back into the conversation, her tone as cold as ice. "I was talking to her about potentially working as a team. I was just getting into how she should forgive you for your philandering ways and lack of respect for both your station and hers."
"She's angry, that's a good sign. So then, onward with the flirting and lack of special treatment!" "Teams? Aren't they normally groups of four? In that case, if Weiss and I were on the same team, I think it would be best if Weiss took short to mid-range with her dust. I met this blonde bombshell; I mean brawler, who would make an excellent short to engaged range fighter, and the brawler's cute sister would be long range support with her Sniper rifle with the added bonus of possible short-range scythe attacks."
"Umm." Pyrrha seemed half nervous and half excited. "You didn't include me. Do you… not want me on your team?"
Jaune had to stop in surprise and blink. The girl was taking it rather hard, not being on a hypothetical team with a guy she just met. "Does she have a fragile ego or…" "Not at all! I would love to have a skilled beauty like you on my team, Pyrrha! It's just that I don't really know you, or how you'd fight against Grimm. I mean, sure you're beautiful and obviously strong and skilled, but I'm not going to assume you're just the best at everything because of your celebrity status. Weiss has major social problems to make up for her stunning grace and elegance, and I would much rather not go into my problems from my upbringing. That is to say, I just want to get to know the real you better if you're going to be on my team."
Weiss cut back in with all the subtlety of a claymore. "Who would want to be on a team with you, Idiot? I'm only agreeing to join you to make sure you don't take advantage of your position!"
"I'd be willing to join his team!"
"Should I be thanking her? She seems a little too eager. Is she really- No, Don't- Actually, after what happened last time, Yes, Jump to conclusions. She's latching on to me for very superficial reasons after barely a minute of interaction. It's either love at first sight or she's going to turn into a psychotic mess. Probably the later, and definitely will if I don't throw myself into the fire to make it the former."
The Ice Queen seemed to be doing her best to restrain herself and instead just wrapped one of her arms around his. "Isn't that nice? Well, you don't need to trouble yourself. I'll be more than willing and able to keep this Idiot out of trouble. All. By. My. self."
"Uh oh, the tugging is going to start, and once that starts then…" "Jealous, Snow Angel?" "WHY DID YOU MAKE IT WORSE?"
The heiress' teeth could have torn metal from how tight her jaw was clenching. "I have spent far too much time attempting to turn you into a worthy partner to see it all fall apart because a naïve girl bought into your flirting! I'm not letting her taint my training!"
Pyrrha was trying to be polite, but was obviously starting to get mad. "I was being polite and offering my support. You have no right to judge-"
"I know the Idiot, and you're acting like a love-struck fool at best or-"
"I am simply giving him a chance on his own merits, you're trying to force him to-"
"He doesn't have that luxury! We never did!"
"Ladies!" Jaune made the mistake of getting in the middle of a rising catfight. In under a second he was pinned to the wall by a spear and frozen in place. "Yep, definitely going to be crazy. Oum, If I survive initiation, then I will take a vow of chastity in your honor. But first I need to break out of this ice and get to initiation…"
Before he could try to break out on his own, a shadow leapt down from the ceiling and slapped a hand around his mouth. It took a second for him to recognize the specter as Blake, and in that time, she had none too gently started to break him free. She was muttering something under her breath about betraying her, not being on his team, and needing a leash, but Jaune was busy repressing any noises to avoid any more attention from the bickering girls.
He was clear in thirty seconds, which was unfortunately just enough time for the two girls' argument to pause for breath and the aforementioned sisters to arrive on the scene. That is to say, all the girls on the Crazy List were in one place and just waiting for a spark to set them all off.
Jaune took a step away from the powder keg. The bell on his neck jingled. Everyone's eyes were locked on the piece of jewelry. Blake grabbed his collar and gave him a single tug toward her. "Mine."
That set everything off. Weiss attacked Blake shouting an insult, Pyrrha went for her spear which was in the hands of Ruby, Blake was trying to lead Weiss over to Yang, Yang was attacking anyone who showed aggression and Jaune was just trying to get away from the madness.
"This is a tactical retreat from a hopeless and pointless struggle. There's no need for me to get involved. At worst they'll be a bit lower on aura for the initiation test, at best it will be a warm-up. So there's really no reason to stay and try to stop them and end up becoming some prize to be dragged along by the victor. Especially because I still don't have my aura unlocked. Damn you again Jirai, and your insistence that my future partner unlock it. Sure, you trained me relentlessly in evasion, but that's not going to solve everything! Like, what if I get launched off a cliff without a parachute or Lorelei? You're probably watching this and laughing your ass off while some shady figure is steepleing his fingers and talking about how this is all according to plan…"
-Ozpin's Office-
"Well… This isn't going according to plan…" Ozpin, Jirai, Port, Oobleck and the Seven Arc Sisters all sat in the headmaster's office to watch his plans unfold, or in this case, unravel. "I didn't believe that Miss Nikos would be so adamant about Master Arc's freedom to be his own man, I thought she would be diffusing any situations like this."
Jirai was busy writing in his notebook as Oobleck corrected spelling and grammatical errors over his shoulder. Port was chortling at all of the girl's youthful energy. The sisters were the only ones paying attention to the headmaster's monologue.
The second youngest, a human in a wheelchair wearing a dark blue pilot's uniform, raised her hand for a question. "Most of these girls don't know Big Brother nearly well enough yet, why are they fighting over him?"
Port gave a chuckle and answered before Ozpin. "Jolly good observation, Miss…?"
"Navy, Sir."
"Miss Navy Arc. They aren't fighting over Master Arc, really. The conflict may have been initiated by that, but he is merely an instigator for their conflicting world views to duke it out! Why, I used the same method when I was first gaining the trust of my team; It was a bright day with the wind gently blowing, the perfect day for a hunt…"
Ozpin cut off the professor to prevent a rambling story. "Miss Schnee is fighting for her view that honor and responsibility must be upheld. Miss Nikos is fighting for her view on individuality and freedom from conforming and assumptions. Miss Belladonna is taking out her frustrations concerning human-faunus relations on the heiress of a prejudiced company while defending the one friend she's been able to find and cling to. Miss Xio Long is just fighting to defend her sister, but will be subconsciously drawn to think of it as fighting for the boy when she looks back, and Miss Rose isn't fighting and just wants to make some friends without losing the one that she's managed to make."
One of the older girls, a multi-tailed fox faunus, spoke up next. "Is this a warning sign for their future interactions? You did plan to have their teams working closely together."
Oobleck looked up from Jirai's notebook to give a response. "Get the aggression out now; and it will make solving the issues later easier."
Jirai added onto the thought. "Plus, if the kid's locked up with them, then he's going to be forced to intervene and quell these fights. I'll just have to work some magic to make him realize that his spinelessness is shameful for a warrior. It's nothing to worry about, Vell."
"But which one's going to be his partner? Black, White, Yellow, or Red?" That was the moist boisterous of the sisters, the self-proclaimed dragon faunus Hestia.
All eyes locked on Ozpin as he audibly took a suspiciously long sip of his coffee. He finished the cup and set it down with a heavy sigh. "I was planning on having it be Miss Nikos, but all of my plans fell apart when you girls shoved Miss Belladonna together with him. My plans didn't account for her intervention in this situation. Honestly, it actually is almost random now. We'll have to watch to find out. But I should get down to the cliffs to give the rules for the test, Glynda wouldn't approve of me skipping that even for such important matters as these."
As the doors of the elevator closed and the prerecorded announcement for the students to come to the cliffs played, everyone left in the office looked at each other.
Jirai broke the silence. "Ten Lien on the cat-girl."
That started the waterfall of bets on everything from partners to most stylish landing and including how many wounds Jaune would receive without his aura.
Vell M. Arc marked down the bets and took the money, looking like a perfect calm secretary. However, on the inside she was placing the finish touches on her money throne and settling down into a throne cuddle session with her Jaune.
"All According to Plan."
-Chapter 3 End-
First of all, here's a short list of all Jaune's sisters, their ages relative to him, their races, and areas of expertise. I'm honestly a little proud of some of these. They all have unique semblances, but I'll save revealing those for later.
Cherri; +2 yr, Spider-faunus, Doctor
Cream; -1 yr, Sheep, Nurse
Vell M. (Manilla); +1 yr, Kitsune (currently 3 tails),
Hestia; =, Dragon, smith
Laurelai; =, Athlete, human, semblance; Gravity
Pernula; =, Teacher, sloth-faunus
Navy; -1 yr, Pilot, human, crippled
Once initiation is done, I'll probably do flashback chapters for the sisters. Yay for color puns.
Short episodes, short chapters. Keeps them rolling out quicker, especially when this is just a hobby for when work is slow.
About Blake, my view is that when a person cuts off ties to their old life like she did, they either fall down and in on themselves, or they latch onto a crutch. Jaune is effectively the "rebound guy" that she chose on somewhat flimsy reasons to get back at Adam. Plus, her canon goal pretty much is wrapped up in Human-faunus relations and the White Fang, so if there was another group that seemed to be working to the same goal, I feel she'd join to at least keep an eye on them.
For Pyrrha; No matter how nice someone is, a bad day can do a lot to shorten your temper. Like, say, not being able to fall asleep because there's moaning coming from the other side of the wall and you can't move unless you want to step on someone. Or there not being any hot water for the shower. Or every single person either asking for your autograph or giving you the cold shoulder because you're famous.
