Hey ya'll so here we go again with another chapter as promised… I told you I wouldn't make anyone wait for too long!
I can't claim them as mine but man I wish they were, well at least Edward I want that man for me and me alone… *sighs*
Well as always mad thanks to all my girls for all the help and love and encouragement I couldn't do this with out any of u!
Steph, Kyla, Rachel, Cat, BBC, Sandra and now added to the crazy family Xquisite prodigy/blue shirt girl…u all make my day better and make me laugh and always bring me happiness… I'm so glad that I fell in love with Edward and the books and ultimately that brought me to all ur crazy asses and god knows I wouldn't change that for the world…
Chapter 18
Edward's POV
Gavin Rossdale –Love Remains The same
I was stunned.
Literally…stunned.
Could she be? I can't imagine them being one and the same. It would make sense why she was there, but these men were huge. What if she got hurt or worse?
I couldn't handle the thought of her in pain or just not being anymore.
Fuck. I pull my hair in frustration. These doubts are going to eat me alive.
No. I can't let my thoughts go in that direction. Isabella is a fragile little princess. I'm sure she doesn't even know how too properly hold a gun, much less shoot one.
But what if?
What if…she was Charlie's daughter?
What if…she was my little princess?
The one that stole my heart and with one smile brought me the greatest joy I had ever felt. Of course the moment Isabella came in, all others before were forgotten.
Could it be because I have been too blind to see they are one and the same?
It would make sense, and just further prove my point we are soul mates. And always will be.
Little Bella, my little princess and Isabella, my princessa are one and the same. Who would have thought? Have I been so blinded by her to have missed all the clues?
For fuck's sake, I call them both my princesses.
I'm starting to believe more and more that I'm a blind mother fucker. Add blind to stupid and I'm a real winner here folks.
I mean, I've seen the pictures of that cutie pie in mom's albums. I made sure to ask mom to let me see them, while the family was having dinner last week. How did I not see the resemblance before?
Beautiful heart shaped face, soulful almond eyes and luscious brown hair.
For fuck's sake she still has that one dimple. I remember thinking it was the cutest little thing I had ever seen. Even while she was stomping and acting all tough, I still thought everything on her was beautiful.
I have seen her smile before, shit, even when she smirks at me it comes out. I have stayed up for hours dissecting every part of her that drives me wild.
And that smile is a killer.
I have to make this right. But how is she going to feel once she finds out I'm a Cullen and not a Mason? Will she forgive the lie and understand that I did it because, I was scared?
She could have caught me in my lie so easily. I mean, I have been at the warehouse in the last few days, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bella and make sure she was fine.
Even the friends that Emmett and Rose told me about have been M.I.A.
No, I can't let this go on any further, she must know the truth. But after everything that just happened… I'm scared.
I mean she left and made herself perfectly clear…we were done.
I'm still replaying everything that just happened in my head. It still doesn't make any more sense now than it did when she left.
I mean, how did we go from almost declaring our feelings to her walking away? She didn't just walk away. Oh no, she left with parting words that shattered me…she left me here all alone to mend the crumbles that were left of my broken heart.
I can't believe that she truly felt that I didn't trust her.
I would die for that woman.
I would hand her my entire empire if she just asked.
And now that I was sure she was Charlie's daughter, I would openly tell her everything. She could handle it.
Why oh why would she think that I didn't trust her?
Well you idiot you never told her, did you? You let the love of our lives leave us and you didn't even try to stop her. Maybe that's why? Said my cock in-between his weeping fits.
The fucker was leaking down my thigh. You would think he had more trust in me and my abilities to never back down. But no, the fucker is grieving his long lost love, while my heart and head are playing 'Nobody knows it but me' to soothe their pain.
I can't believe that 'Baby Face Edmonds' had become the soundtrack of my life.
She was not going to be easy to convince, I knew this.
But I'll be dammed if I let her go.
Hell to the fuck no, she is MINE.
I had to find a way to get her to listen to me. She had to see how wrong she was about us…
We belonged together… plain and mother fuckin simple!
She was the most infuriating, stubborn, and pig headed woman I have ever met. But to me these qualities made her even more endearing.
I loved her and I couldn't sit back and let her slip through my fingers. First things first I had to call mom; she had to help me work through this clusterfuck.
My mother is the only person in this world I would trust to give me advice on how to make this right. Even if it meant admitting to the woman that gave birth to me the kind of idiot I was.
So be it.
Isabella means everything to me.
And second, I had to find Bella and make this right.
Bella…
Feels good to say that name and know she was here. My little Bella sure grew up to be an incredible woman. I never had any doubts, and it does explain why she's kicked my ass or beat me in our game. She was my equal in every single way.
Can't wait to see her take on a big mother fucker and slit their throat…
Oh shit! Can I handle that?
Can I let her do her work and not interfere?
Fuck, I don't think I can?
Okay, I need to get my shit straight and call mom. She has to help me. She's gonna flip her shit when she finds out it's our little Bella I've been after all this time.
I head back inside and look for Jasper but he is nowhere to be found. I call his cell phone a few times and still nothing, it goes straight to voice mail each time.
My desperation to head home and get my mother to come over is too strong to wait for Jasper to show up so…
I call a cab.
I give them the name of the club and go outside to wait. The driver seems to know this area very well and I only have to wait five minutes before I'm sitting in the back of his cab watching the sun come up.
I make it back home in record time and after a long and 'stress' relieving shower I dial the matriarch of our family…
It rings maybe twice before she answers, "Baby, you really need to stop these early morning calls. You're killing me damnit, I need my beauty sleep! Now what did you do this time that requires your mother this early?"
She sounds tired and I feel so bad for waking her up but… I need her. I have to save my relationship. I can't have my princessa' going around believing all that bullshit she spewed at me in anger.
Nope folks this needs immediate attention. Even if that means being killed by my mother in the process, this mess had to be fixed.
"Mom," I let out a very exaggerated sigh and then just let it all out. "I fucked up Mom. She was there tonight in the club having her own meeting with Reyes and my anger got the best of me when he kissed her cheek. I couldn't help it damnit, she is mine." I stop and start pacing my living room trying to get my thoughts in order before I continue…
I could feel all my emotions bubbling to the surface and before I knew what was happening…a sharp pain erupted in my chest.
I was aware of the fact it wasn't a heart attack. This was just my body and heart's way of hurting over the knowledge that I let her walk away.
Every smile I saw in my head, every smirk, and every cocky look brought on another pang.
I couldn't handle the thought of this being our…end.
I knew I acted like an ass, but the thought of her hurt or in someone else's arms is something I can't bear.
I needed to get a handle on myself.
"Mom I need your help, I made a disaster of it all. She walked away. Just left me there and said we couldn't be… I can't lose her." I sounded whiny and needy even to my own ears, but I couldn't have cared less.
As long as I had her wisdom to carry me through this little bump, I could get through this and get my girl back.
"Okay Edward Anthony you want my help, fine. But you better start talking and not let one little detail slip. Are we clear? I said are we clear young man?" She let out a few choice words in Italian and told me to get to it. I could hear her frustration coming at me through the phone. I had so much to come clean about, but first came first.
"You're right Mom, let's start from the very beginning," I cracked my neck and said the one thing other than talking about Bella, that has been plaguing my mind since I put two and two together.
"Did you know it was her Mom?" She let out a gasp of surprise and I knew I was right in my assumptions. "Why mother? Why would you not tell me they were the same? You have seen me all but fly off the ground when I speak or think of her… why not tell me?" My tone was one of accusation and betrayal.
Both her and my father looked rather pleased when they saw her name on that infamous card. I should have seen right through their act of nonchalance and questioned them til they cracked.
We could have been spared all this confusion. I could have had time to accept, or at least not jump the gun when I saw her out and about in seedy parts of town.
We could have fucked like animals and then made sweet love till we both passed out.
I could be wrapped around her body right now.
Fuck me, I so don't need to get a hard on in the middle of this crisis.
"Baby, please don't be upset with me or your father. Yes we knew. Fuck, even Jasper figured it out. But that's for him to tell you. Okay?" She took a deep breath and then when I was awaiting her further explanation she let out a small giggle.
I could not believe the nerve of this woman.
I mean yes I could, but come on. I'm in pain here. Help a brother, or in this case son, out and tell me what I need to know.
My patience was thin and without so much as a thought of who I was speaking to I growled at her.
Automatically this put a stop to her giggles.
"Don't you dare growl at me Edward Anthony Cullen! I am your mother, and you my child, will never be too big to be punished by me. Don't test me son. I can understand you're upset and hurt. I take full blame for that. But don't you ever get disrespectful with me." She sniffed at the end and I felt like the world's biggest ass.
"Ma, I am hurt. You're here laughing at something that is tearing me apart inside. How does that help the situation I'm in? I need to know everything there is to know about her. And I mean everything. You didn't tell me about her being my girl, how do you expect me to react? I never thought you would hold something like this from me."
I need her to see my point. I can't keep losing time arguing with her or making her feel better. The more time that flies by, the farther away my princessa slips from me.
So now he knows….
Next chapter will be up next week I have a little more to add before I can post it…The Swans will be coming back soon folks so be prepared…and just to prepare you Renee is one hell of a force of nature…
If you haven't checked out my other story….It Isn't Over Yet
Everything they said, everything they did, everything I saw was about him and his memory. He left me. Yet here I stand eight years later, still drowning in his memory and the destruction he left behind. M for language and future lemons B/E promised HEA
What are you waiting for, just bring the Kleenex with you because the beginning is a heartbreaker.
There's so much they each have to learn and grow but trust me the journey will be well worth it.
Now leave me your thoughts…can't wait to hear what you have to say.
