A/N: Ok so for those still reading...thank you so much for your resilience. I was shocked that the last chapter received so many positive reviews despite the nature of the chapter. This one goes back and tells the story of what was going on while Jane was being tormented from James' and Maura's POV. It's extremely long so...blot out an hour of your time. I promise the next chapter moves into the fallout from the 'incident' and we'll get into the healing and what not. Shout out to my beta mrj726. You make me better girl. Anyway with all that being said...here we go!
James
I pulled into the parking lot of the strip club so fast that the car's tires screeched and I almost lost control of the vehicle. My heart was racing so fast it was becoming painful. The adrenaline in my system was sickening. I was furious and more importantly I was scared stiff. I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't believe where I was. I couldn't believe Jane, and more than that I just couldn't believe Maura. Maura had always been so sensible in the past, well usually practical and also level-headed. She was extremely no-nonsense about almost everything, but when it came to women she had always been a disaster. After the Talia fiasco I thought she'd stay away from the whores. I thought she learned a very painful and expensive lesson. I guess I was wrong. The damage control it took to contain Talia's brand of evil was insane. It was the absolute worst thing Maura had ever gotten herself into. Talia had threatened everything, the very existence and name of Isles. The bitch was a whole different kind of crazy. Maura begged me not to discuss this with her mother and assured me she'd never make such a mistake again. She'd been so damaged and so hurt, almost to the point of non-recovery. I stood by Maura and forced her to cope with the reality of Talia's wretched betrayal. The heartbreak seemed to be unending. It seemed like the light had been extinguished from Maura's eyes and every single day was a struggle just to get her to smile or show any emotion at all. I hated seeing how lonesome and despondent Maura had been for the last many years since Talia. Every time I saw her she just looked so...sad. I did everything I could to encourage her. I did everything I could to set her up on dates with eligible women from decent families, but Maura was always so peculiar and awkward she just couldn't make any real connections no matter how hard she tried. I almost thought Maura would be alone forever.
And then along came Jane.
When I first got the phone call from Maura in the middle of the night all those weeks ago demanding I draft Power of Attorney papers for a whore I was flabbergasted and beside myself with disbelief. All manner of horrible thoughts crossed my mind as to what kind of mess Maura was creating this time that I had to clean up. I just knew Jane was a gold digging whore. I just knew Jane would take advantage of her, hurt her, and blackmail her like that cunt bitch Talia. But I was so wrong. Jane was sweet to Maura. She made Maura laugh and smile in ways I'd never seen. She showed Maura to be resilient in her personal life. Maura was a tough and responsible person when asserting her business persona, but now she displayed an internal strength. Jane made Maura stronger, crazier God knows, but stronger none the less. She made Maura happy and filled her life with everything she thought she'd never have and I thought she'd never have too. I saw the way Jane looked at Maura at the charity event. I was at the table when Jane cursed at Constance for upsetting Maura. I couldn't believe she got Maura to come back to the party after that horrible dress incident. That was a disaster. I was expecting Maura to fall apart. I was expecting to have to peel her off the floor and worry over her for weeks if not months. I had been upset and distressed to the point of sickness about everything that transpired at that event. But my jaw literally dropped when Maura walked back into the party with her head held high and Jane beaming by her side. That's the moment I knew Jane unconditionally loved Maura. That's the moment I knew Maura loved and adored Jane. That's the moment I knew that, barring some unforeseen nightmare, (and we were no stranger to those at that point) Jane would always be there for Maura.
I accepted this truth. I embraced it. I even encouraged it. I loved Maura like a sister and I wanted her to be happy. I loved Jane too for being what she was to Maura. But as much as I loved Jane, I couldn't deny certain truths about the woman. Things I don't think Maura could see or wanted to admit. I knew some crazy shit was going on with Jane personally, but I didn't know the full extent until very recently. I should have never let Jane go snooping after Maura. I should have insisted Maura back off this case and get Jane the help she really needed. I should have kept a better eye on Jane earlier and maybe she wouldn't have escaped the house and run off to this motorcycle murder club dressed up like a freaking whore. I thought Maura could handle it. I didn't think it would come to this...I mean really, who could have seen this coming? I felt like I was living some kind of Lifetime movie that just makes you want to kill yourself at the end. But I was done trusting these two women to do the right thing. Obviously, they had both lost their minds and now here I was in front of the most ghastly strip club I'd ever seen in a part of town that looked like a real-life battlefield. I grit my teeth as I flew into one of the few empty parking spaces, as far away as possible from the building and turned off the car.
A sick feeling settled in my stomach. I sighed and shook my head. I still couldn't believe this was happening. I prayed to God I wasn't too late to stop Jane from making a dreadful mistake. I shuddered to think of what Maura would do if we didn't keep Jane from shaking her tits on that stage. As ridiculous as I thought Maura had been lately I was scared to death she'd do something irrational like punching people out and climb up on the stage and drag Jane off like Forrest Gump did to Jenny in that movie. I wiped the sweat off my brow. I climbed out of the car and walked as swiftly as I could toward the front door. I looked down at my suit and huffed, I looked horrible. My suit was ruined. I made a note to bill Maura for the suit and my pain and freaking suffering too. My eyes were wide searching the parking lot for signs of Jane's car. There were lots of people milling around outside, lots of unsavory looking people. Men with leather jackets and untrimmed beards eyed me as I passed them. The looks of the men sent chills up and down my spine. Some of them were drinking from brown paper bags or flasks and some of them were smoking cigarettes or joints or cigars. All of them looked like people I didn't want to meet and I sure as hell didn't want to go in that club. But what choice did I have if Jane was in there?
The music of the club was so loud I could hear it all the way outside. There was a long line of those sordid looking biker dudes waiting to get inside. I felt like everyone was staring at me. I looked down at my Rolex, my gold tie clip, my thousand dollar suit and cursed under my breath. I was scared to death I'd get cracked over the head any minute, found in a ditch somewhere stripped and very likely dead. I continued to mutter and curse. I was going to charge Maura for fucking hazard pay too. I walked around the parking lot looking for Jane's car, I knew all the eyes outside were following me. I started to sweat twice as much. I spotted Jane's Escalade parked on the street to the side of the club and my heart dropped. I was too late. She was inside already. Anger and frustration engulfed me. I kicked at the asphalt and gritted my teeth. I wanted to punch something, but I forced myself to calm down. I had to think. I was the only rational person in this scenario. I had to stay calm because Jane and Maura had gone out of their way to prove I couldn't count on them to be reasonable. What should I do now? I ran my hand through my sweaty hair and scratched my scalp. I guess I just had to go inside. Maybe I could find her. Maybe I could find that old cop friend of Maura's and he could help me. Maybe that was a bad idea though because he was undercover, and I might blow his cover. And where the hell was Maura?
I turned around to face the club, I had to do it...I just had to go in there. It was the only way to find her; hopefully she wasn't already on that damn stage. I thought of my baby daughter. I'd die if she were ever in a place like this exposing her body publicly and shaming herself in every way possible. Just the thought made me want to vomit and kick something at the same time. I glared at the men staring at me, sizing me up. I was in no mood for trouble, but I had to get to Jane. I started stalking toward the club. My fists clenched and my jaw set. All manner of fear enveloped me. I was petrified of these people. I was a Harvard graduate. I spent my free time in a country club and on golf courses...not in places that looked like rape factories. I cursed over and over in my head. I was halfway to the front door when a strong arm caught me and spun me around. I almost lashed out with my fists but I stopped when the man called me by name.
"Are you James? Maura's attorney?" The young black man asked me.
I was shocked for a moment. The man was dressed in a suit as nice as mine and looked even more out of place than me. I frowned and looked back at the club. I had to get in there.
"You gotta come with me," The black man said dragging me away quickly.
He hustled me all the way across the street and to the other side of the McDonald's parking lot. He never let go of my arm. He pushed me forward with conviction. I wanted to protest. I didn't like being handled, but this had to be Detective Frost. Maura said she was going to call him. I tried to ask him questions, but he answered none of them. His face had a grim, determined expression. He walked with the elongated stride of someone on a mission. I didn't know what the hell he wanted or where we were going, but I was growing increasingly more nervous by the second. We started walking down a creepy, dark alley toward a white van. Frost slid open the doors of the van and shoved me inside the back. I sat down on a very uncomfortable seat and looked around the van wide-eyed and curious. There were computer monitors, lap tops and all kinds of surveillance equipment in there. What the hell was going on? Frost climbed inside with me and he closed and locked the door. I noticed one computer monitor with a split screen displaying the alley from the front of the van and the back of the van. Frost could see anyone coming and going up and down the alley. I was impressed, but still I was confused. What the hell was going on? Frost sat in a chair in front of the computer monitors and studied me for a moment.
"Who are you?" I asked, though I already thought I knew the answer.
"I'm Detective Frost," The man said showing me his badge.
I studied it and nodded my head.
"Detective Korsak asked me to run surveillance for him while he's inside the club. Maura called me a few minutes ago about Jane, but I couldn't get to her in time. I can't go in there because as a general rule black guys and white motorcycle clubs don't mix. It would be suspicious if I went in there after Jane, so you have to do it." Frost said holding up a cheap looking necklace and giving it to me.
I frowned. What the hell was with the necklace? I looked at Frost skeptically.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked curiously.
"It's a camera. See the little rhinestone piece...there's a tiny camera in there. Korsak has one too but his is on a different kind of necklace. You have to get it to Jane. It's the only way to keep an eye on her the whole time. If she gets close to the guy we're looking for we can see what's happening. And give her this too," Frost said handing me an earpiece.
It was small enough to fit right into an ear and not be seen.
"This way I can talk to her and hear everything that's going on. I know Maura isn't going to like it...but since Maura isn't on the case anymore and Jane's already in there, she's our best shot at getting a finger print or DNA tonight. We know the guy is in there. We just gotta walk Jane through it and hopefully be done with this mess. Just go in there, ask to see Jane, say you're her pimp or something, give her this stuff and tell her everything I said. As soon as she's got the earpiece in place I can talk to her myself and walk her through the process. But you gotta get her the equipment." Frost said sincerely.
My jaw was hanging open. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"You can't be serious. You can't actually want Jane to go through with this!" I exclaimed. "I was going in there to get her the hell out." I almost yelled at the detective.
I narrowed my eyes at Frost. I was growing angrier with him and this whole crack pot idea. Frost just hung his head and sighed.
"We didn't ask Jane to do this. But she's already in there and already planning to shake her ass on..." Frost didn't finish that thought.
He stopped short when he saw my face. I can only imagine the detestable glare I was giving him. Frost cleared his throat and swung his conversation in a safer direction.
"...There's no way to get her out against her will without making a scene or arousing suspicion potentially compromising the undercover operation. We just have to make the best of this situation. When you give her the earpiece I'll tell her she doesn't have to do it. I'll tell her she can walk out of there and away from this whole thing. But if she doesn't I'm going to tell her exactly what to do to get what we need and bring this place down." Frost said sincerely.
He looked at me levelly.
"She has the right to help. It was her family that got killed. If she wants to do it, she's our new undercover liaison. It's perfect actually; I couldn't have come up with a better way to get at this club myself." Frost said honestly.
I crushed the necklace in my fist.
"NO way...I'm going in there and bring her back out. She's not a whore andit would hurt her and Maura if she were to have to act like one! You don't understand!" I said my voice rising in disgust.
Frost sighed.
"No one's asking her to sleep with anyone. But I did some background research on the club; they are under suspicion of running a prostitution ring. If we put it out there that she's a whore and she baits a guy from the club to approach her on camera and solicit her, it is probable cause to set up a sting later and get search warrants, especially if Jane obtains DNA from the jacket guy and it matches what was found in the car. Guys like to brag in front of women, if Jane gets a guy in the club to admit to some crime...anything, we can claim RICO against the club for all manner of illegal operations and take 'em all down. I know it sucks James, but the only way you're getting close to her before she walks on stage is if you say you're her pimp. After she's dancing it will be too late to slip her this stuff and explain what's going on. Besides, we need to know what's happening backstage, something could happen to her back there and no one would know or be able to call in back up and storm the place if need be. It's the only way!" Frost said again.
I grumbled and cursed. I rubbed my forehead and wished to God this wasn't happening.
Frost was patient for a moment while I thought.
"What's it going to be man? I can tell you care about Jane. This is the only way to keep her safe." Frost said with a heavy voice.
I cursed again. Where the hell was Maura? Actually, I guess it was best she wasn't here yet. I can't imagine the nightmare she was going to be when she found out about this little 'plan'.
"Yeah alright...alright," I said finally shaking my head in defeat.
What other choice did I have? I was still going to try and convince her to leave, but if not at least this way we could keep an eye on her.
Frost nodded his head in relief. He reached behind him and threw some clothes at me.
"Put this on," He said.
I held up the jeans and leather jacket and frowned.
"I have to wear this stuff?" I wailed.
"You gotta look like a pimp...and not a high class pimp like you do now. This ain't a high class kinda place. You gotta look the part or they won't trust you. Put it on and hurry up. Jane's been in there over fifteen minutes already." Frost seemed on edge. He looked as worried as me.
I sighed and changed my clothes quickly. I looked down at myself when I was finished and shook my head. I was still wearing my sweaty white t-shirt and my shinny dress shoes, the leather jacket was hot and uncomfortable and the jeans were impossibly tight.
"These jeans are crushing my nuts man," I said unhappily.
"It's how they wear them. Suck it up dude." Frost said.
"But why dammit? The nuts gotta breathe!" I insisted.
Frost chuckled and tossed me a cowboy hat. I caught it, looked it over, and sighed.
"This too?" I asked gloomily.
"What? Did you expect to walk in there dressed like Princess Kate and think those guys would believe you were a pimp? Put on the damn hat and maybe they won't recognize you from earlier." Frost scoffed.
I grumbled and pulled the hat over my head.
"Fine, give me the camera and the earpiece,"
"Here," Frost said handing me the things. "If you can't get her alone just hand her the necklace and make sure she puts it on. Don't give her the earpiece unless you are alone! If you can't get to her give the necklace to another dancer to give to her. It's a cheap piece of shit necklace so hopefully those hoes don't steal it. Get this shit to Jane first. Then try and find Korsak. Be causal but slip him this other earpiece so I can tell him what's going on. I didn't give him one before cause I was worried he'd get caught with it, but we have to take that chance now." Frost said.
I grumbled and tucked the earpieces into the inside of my leather jacket pocket.
"FINE!" I hissed.
Frost just shook his head.
"Just get in there and get the hell out and back here. I will need your help with Maura," Frost said.
He had a worried look on his face when he mentioned Maura. I wondered what she'd done to him. I didn't even want to know. He seemed well aware that he had a storm coming his way and it was called Hurricane Maura. I almost chuckled...almost.
I slipped from the van and made my way toward the club. I crossed the street, my heart racing and my palms sweating. I walked with as much confidence as I could muster. I walked right past those revolting men that had glared at me earlier. Now they just looked at me with interest. I hoped they didn't recognize me as the guy in the suit earlier. I pulled the hat lower to hide my face. I walked right up to the club bouncer and slipped a hundred in his hand. The bouncer checked out the bill and nodded in satisfaction. He was an enormous man! I was a good-sized guy too, but this guy was Gerald Ingles' biker brother. I squared my shoulders and didn't flinch. I had to get to Jane.
"Whatcha want man," the bouncer asked in a deep rumbling voice.
"I'm tryna see my hoe! She forgot something." I said holding up the necklace. "It's her good luck charm."
The bouncer sniffed.
"Who's your hoe?" He asked studying me like he didn't quite believe what I was saying.
I decided to play it up a bit.
"The new bitch...tall...long curly black hair...sexy legs...pretty face." I said.
The bouncer smirked. Something about his grin made me sick and pissed off at the same time.
"Yeah, Emily. I seen that bitch. Sexy, sexy bitch! I bet she's making you some real dough! You can go in if you want, but I can't promise they'll let you back there to see her...manager's got her on lock till she dances." The bouncer said shrugging his shoulders.
I sighed and pushed past the man into the club. It was horrible in this nasty club. It was loud as hell. My head was ringing from the earsplitting music. The whole room reeked of alcohol and sex. Women, not half as attractive as Jane, were everywhere; some naked and some might as well have been. All of them were grinding on the smelly biker dudes, and behaving in ways no self-respecting woman should. I shuddered as I looked around. I knew my jaw was hanging open. I felt like I'd walked into some kind of hellish underworld. The men were shouting obscenities and nasty encouragements at the women; one woman on stage was doing something on the pole that made me blush and my skin crawl at the same time. I felt repulsed and furious when I thought of Jane on that pole. I clutched my fists and spotted a door at the far end of the club next to the stage. It must lead to back stage. I made my way toward the door having to duck and dodge my way through the licentious, drunken crowd. I had to squirm away from two women that approached me rubbing their naked tits against my chest and promising all manner of lascivious acts for a certain price. I tried not to look revolted by them but it was hard. I'd take my pretty wife with her sensible clothes and her post-partum depression over these gross disgusting whores any day. I was almost at the door when a very large man stepped in front of me sneering. I stopped short. What did these people eat that made them so fucking huge?
"Where you going buddy?" The guy asked me, his voice gravely and threatening.
I stood to my full height.
"I gotta see my hoe man," I said.
The man looked me over.
"What hoe?" He asked.
"Emily," I said casually.
The man sneered. He had that same look on his face the bouncer had when I spoke of Jane.
"Relax dude she's alright back there. Go have a drink and she'll be on stage in a little bit." The man said nodding his head toward the bar.
"But I'm her pimp, I just gotta see her for a quick second," I insisted trying to push past the man.
The guy stepped back and shoved me hard. I stumbled and fell backward landing hard on my back. The room went quiet around me. Everyone was staring. Three or four more guys surrounded me as I crawled to my feet. I looked around and gulped. I knew I couldn't take all four of the guys. I was a black belt in Taekwondo, but I knew these weren't the fight fair kinda guys. I was very likely to take a shank in the back if things got out of hand. I was scared to death, but I just had to get to Jane. I sure as hell didn't want to leave her alone in this place with these Neanderthals without the camera necklace at the very least. Adrenaline surged through me. I pulled off my hat and tossed it aside. I stood my ground and clenched my fists preparing for a fight. If it came to blows I'd take at least two of these guys down with me before they kicked my ass.
"Look...sissy boy wants to fight." One of the men said.
They all laughed and so did some of the other people around us. I felt my face darken and flush.
"How about if this sissy kicks your ass," I cursed at the man who had spoken.
I couldn't believe I fucking said that. I couldn't tell you what I was thinking. I sounded as crazy talking shit to those thugs as Jane and Maura had been behaving all day. The looks around me darkened into ferocity. I was scared to death. I felt my tongue dry out and my eyes widening in alarm. My mind raced between my urge to run and my desperate desire to get to Jane and give her the necklace. Now it seemed I wasn't going to get out of here without a fight, and I certainly wasn't going to get to Jane without a fight. My only saving grace was that I was clutching the necklace tightly with my fists. Maybe Frost would see what was going on and save me, but that would be awful too! Everyone's cover would be blown and then this whole operation will have been for nothing. I had to handle this one on my own and pray I escaped with my life. I felt myself get shoved roughly from behind. I fell down again; the earpieces slipped out of my jacket and got crushed by heavy boots as the gang of hooligans surged toward me. I stood up as quickly as I could. Blood surged through my body. My veins were engorged and pulsating. I was ready to fight, I had no choice. I couldn't believe I was in this mess! The men were moving toward me, threateningly, menacingly. I felt my muscles bulge and tremble in anticipation. My chest heaved. I gasped for breath. I tried desperately to keep calm. The terror of the situation overwhelmed me. One man stepped up to me fists raised, my heart exploded with adrenaline. I was ready to fight for my life, when I felt a strong hand grab my jacket by the shoulder. I heard a loud voice in my ear.
"All right fellas. This little piece of shit ain't worth fucking up the place. A round of shots on me...bartender...a round of shots for the fellas on me!" The man called loudly across the bar.
I looked over my shoulder at the man that had a hold of me and it was Detective Korsak dressed up like a biker. He looked as scary as any of the other dudes. The other guys around us started grumbling and eyeing Korsak sideways, but apparently the prospect of free alcohol overpowered their desire to kick the shit out of me. I looked at Korsak gratefully. I started to speak to him but he eyed me in such a way that I clamped my jaw shut for fear he might knock my teeth out. He hustled me toward the bar and pushed me in a stool. The bartender slipped us two shots of vile, burning alcohol that tasted like it was made behind a shack in the woods with a little bit of squirrel pee mixed in, but I drank it desperately. I needed to calm the hell down. The reality that I almost just got stomped by a gang of juiced up drunken maniacs left me shaken inside and out. I just couldn't believe it. I thought I was coming to Boston to help Jane and Maura get custody of Jane's nephew, and now look at me. I never imagined I'd ever be dressed up in a biker bar trying to stop Maura's insane girlfriend from getting naked in front of a bunch of dudes that wanted to punch my lights out. Worse, I was scared to death I wouldn't be able to stop Jane from doing just that and it was all Maura's fault for opening this case. I knew Maura only had the best of intentions for wanting to solve the murder of Jane's family, but her execution left something to be desired. When this was over I vowed to have a talk with my 'sister' about her decision making issues.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Korsak hissed at me.
He never looked directly at me. He was staring straight ahead clenching a beer in his fists. I took the hint. I didn't look directly at him either.
"Jane's here...she's going to strip. Frost made me tell people she's a prostitute and I'm her PIMP! Have you seen her! I have to give her a necklace from Frost," I said as softly as I could though I couldn't whisper because it was just too loud in the club.
Nobody could hear us anyway, all the eyes were focused on the nasty women dancing and walking around naked. I shuddered looking at the women. At least Jane wasn't walking around naked, I wasn't about to have that happen...fuck that! I cringed just thinking about it. I was furious I had to refer to Jane as a whore to these men. Not a single man in here or all of them combined were worthy of Jane even if she was a whore, which she wasn't! Jane was beautiful, and smart, and funny, she had a sarcastic mouth sometimes, but she was passionate about the things and people she loved and she loved Maura. I couldn't stand the idea of her demeaning herself like the other women in this place, or any of these so-called men exploiting her for their own gratification. I hated myself for being party to the reason these awful people thought she was a whore, but I just felt so trapped. I wanted to keep her safe and I hoped the camera would help keep her that way. Still the guilt was sickening to me because I wasn't sure if this was going to work out or not, especially considering the nightmare Maura was going to be when she found out. Maura was going to be furious with me even though I just didn't have a choice. She'd never understand how much I hated myself in that moment, knowing Jane was so close, but unable to get to her. I cared about Jane as much as Maura. No self-respecting man wants to see a woman he cares about spoken of in any inappropriate way, or witness her disgrace herself. I know Jane had lost her brothers but I'm sure they wouldn't have let their sister dishonor herself in this way. I downed another shot of the gut-rot alcohol they served in the God forsaken den of evil and breathed heavily.
Korsak's face looked furious. His jowls stiffened so tight they shook and he turned as red as a tomato. I was actually a little scared sitting next to the man.
"I didn't see her come in," He said, still staring off in the distance.
I sighed.
"I had an earpiece for you and Jane, but they were smashed in the tussle with those crazies over there," I said eyeing the men who had threatened to fuck me up.
They were chatting animatedly with each other at a booth, drinking their shots and distracted by the women dancing for them. I rolled my eyes.
"You need to get the fuck out of here," Korsak hissed at me.
I frowned and cursed under my breath.
"I didn't want to come in this shit hole at ALL!" I spat back angrily.
"Just get up and walk away now...you're bringing to much attention to yourself and me. Give me the necklace and I'll get it to Jane," Korsak said.
I was just about to slip him the necklace, relieved that I could get away from this place, when a tiny little wisp of a man appeared at my side. He was small and slight with long pressed hair and a particularly feminine smile. I thought of Albert for some reason.
"I'm Henry," The man said holding out his hand which I politely shook.
I couldn't figure out what was going on with the little guy. He didn't seem like he belonged here amongst the filthy males packed in this place. He certainly didn't appear to be interested in women either. I cocked my head and studied him.
"I heard you had something to give to the new girl...you're her pimp right?" The little man asked.
"Yeah," I said, trying to sound sincere.
"Give it to me; I'll give it to her." The man said holding out his small hand.
I looked at Korsak but he had turned away from me and was watching the girls on stage. I knew he was listening to everything I was saying but he pretended not to listen. I didn't know what to do. He wasn't going to help me. I shrugged my shoulders and handed the little man the necklace.
"It's her good luck charm...make sure she wears it," I said in my most assertive voice looking at him right in his eyes.
The little man just smiled at me and walked backstage through the door and out of sight. I felt sick in my stomach. I prayed to God he gave Jane that damn necklace. Korsak stood and nodded at me and walked away again. I sighed and escaped the club back out into the fresh air. I walked as casually as I could back to the van and slid inside when Frost opened the door for me.
"Jesus you almost got yourself killed! You almost blew the whole operation! You're the worst police liaison ever!" Frost hissed at me.
I felt my face burning in anger.
"Fuck you guys...all of you! I shouldn't have had to do that at all! I'm not a cop dammit! I am an attorney! I am here because I care about Jane and Maura. And let me tell you something else, if you and that old detective get Jane killed I'm going to sue the SHIT out of you two personally and the entire BPD! I'll have your fucking badges if this shit goes south so you better make damn sure this turns out right!" I barked through grating teeth.
I was fuming as I thought of all the ways I'd slam the legal system down on Frost and Korsak if this ended badly for Jane. Frost looked a little put out, but he changed the subject for his own good.
"Did you give Jane the necklace and earpiece, and did Korsak get his earpiece?" Frost asked, completely ignoring my insults and threats.
I shook my head dejectedly.
"No... During the scuffle, the earpieces fell out of my jacket and were crushed. Jane should have the necklace though so check the monitor." I said.
Frost rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer screen. He pushed some keys on a keyboard and the little man's face popped up on screen in what must have been a dressing room. Jane was wearing the necklace. Both Frost and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"THANK GOD!" I exclaimed.
"Good job man," Frost said sitting back and watching the screens in front of him.
I sighed and shook my head. I watched the screen for a moment until my head perked up and my face formed a worried frown.
"Where the fuck is Maura?" I asked.
Frost shrugged his shoulders.
I scratched my head. I hoped nothing was wrong. She should be here already. I rubbed my brow...what the fuck. I couldn't take anymore drama. Her ass better not on the side of the road or some car accident or something. I shuddered at the thought. That would be just my fucking luck.
...
Maura
The flashing red and blue lights behind us dried my tears. I hated that we were being pulled over, but I was the CME for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Maybe the officer could help me. I bounced in my seat nervously waiting for the officer to approach my car. Gerald Ingles seemed tense. His face was drawn and tight. He gripped the steering wheel at ten and two staring straight ahead and unflinching. My anxiety was turning my stomach. I'd never handled high stress situations well in my personal life. I couldn't imagine anything, more high stress and awful than what I was facing in this moment. I whimpered, sniffled and squirmed as I thought of Jane. Time was ticking away. I was so concerned and worried about Jane I was about to become hysterical even with an officer about to approach the car. Jane could be on that pole right now doing all manner of things that made me want to curse and vomit. Jane was the mother of our child, I loved her. I couldn't believe I drove her to act out this way. I couldn't believe myself. I promised Jane she would never have to do this again. I promised her I'd protect her and our family and I meant every single word of that promise and always would. Despair and grief ate at my heart. I couldn't believe I'd been so wrapped up in myself that I had not seen all the possible consequences of my actions. I can't believe I'd overlooked so many things about Jane that I didn't realize this was a possibility. Actually...I had realized this was a possibility. I knew Jane was damaged and disturbed by the loss of her family. Sadly, instead of attacking the issue head on, which was getting Jane the help she really needed, I steamrolled ahead with the one plan I had to catch her family's killer with no considerations as to what might go wrong or how it might affect her. Jane was still fragile and vulnerable in many ways. And then, despite my best intentions to get Jane away from Boston, I'd become some kind of tyrant oblivious to Jane's cries and pleas and barking orders at her instead of guiding her and standing by her and communicating with her like I should have. But everything was just moving so fast! I didn't have time to think...I could only react to what was happening around me and GOD it could not have been worse. I just had to get to Jane. I knew I could fix this. I needed to stop her. I now knew what the right things were to do in order to help Janie. I saw everything in the clear light of day for the first time in what felt like forever. I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I wiped my mind of its hysteria and forced the cool collected calm of rational thought upon myself. I could do this, I could get to Jane.
The officer approached the car slowly. He shined a flashlight in the windows. Gerald rolled down the driver's side window and handed the officer his driver's license before he even asked for it. The officer, a very young man with a hideous, long, wiry mustache with crumbs in it, took the license and studied it for a moment scribbling down information on his clip board. I waited for the officer to speak, but when he didn't I just started blurting out information in a hurried frantic speech even though I was trying to be as calm as I could.
"Officer, please my name is Dr. Maura Isles, I'm the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My office is at BPD Headquarters. I'm sure you've heard of me. My associate and I are in a hurry. We have to get to the Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club as soon as possible. It's an emergency. Perhaps you could give us an escort so that we can get there faster." I pleaded with the man.
The officer scoffed and looked at me in mild disgust. I looked down at my clothes, the horrific leather biker gear, and whimpered.
"You don't look like a doctor. Where's your ID?" He asked. He had a slow southern drawl.
I searched around frantically and cursed when I realized I'd left my purse in my office in my haste to get to the plane. Everything was in there, my work badge, my driver's license, everything! I growled in frustration. What the hell was WRONG with me? I couldn't do anything right. I gave the officer my most pleading eyes.
"I left my ID in my office," I said earnestly.
The officer rolled his eyes.
"A likely story," He said sarcastically.
"Officer, she's telling the truth," Gerald added in my defense. "No one would make that up, you've heard of her."
The officer looked at me again frowning, his mustache twitched and his eyes looked disbelieving but amused.
"She don't look like that woman I see on TV sometimes. She looks like a biker bitch. Where did you say you were going again?" The officer asked in that horrible accent.
I felt myself growing angry. I couldn't believe the nerve of this officer. Who was he to speak of me like that? Who was he to speak of anyone in such a rude fashion? This little boy had no idea the mistake he was making. I wanted to tell him all about how I would have him fired in an instant but I forced myself to remain calm. I had to be calm. No more raging around like a maniac. That had gotten me nowhere. It was time for sense and sensibility.
"Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club," I said as calmly and politely as I could.
The officer nodded his head, his mustache continuing to twitch. His eyes twinkled when I mentioned the club.
"And what would the great Dr. Isles want at a place like that? If you are who you say you are that is?" The man chuckled to himself.
I closed my eyes against the fury building inside me. I thought of Jane, I absolutely had to keep calm for Jane.
"I already told you officer; it's an emergency, police business." I said in an unsteady soft voice.
The officer spit over his shoulder, there was a lump under his bottom lip, chewing tobacco most likely. I cringed. The officer leaned in the window and studied Gerald and I again, his eyes narrowed and accusing.
"Now see, I find that hard to believe. Police business you say, but you ain't got no ID, you look like a stripper or a working girl, and your buddy here ain't no officer neither. But you want me to believe you were speeding to this 'strip club' for police business." The officer said shaking his head and laughing again.
I wanted to cry I was so frustrated with myself and this ignorant officer. I didn't have time for this. Why did I have to forget my ID? I hated myself in that moment. What could I say to this rookie to make him understand he was interfering in police business, my business? I had to get to Jane. I shuddered to think what she might be doing in that moment. Had James gotten to her? Had Frost stopped her? Did she know she didn't have to get on that stage, that I'd kept my promise that I was coming for her? That I would always come for her? I felt my heart breaking. I hung my head and wiped tears from my eyes. I could think of nothing but Jane.
The officer smirked at my tears.
"Feeling trapped are we?" The officer badgered me.
I glared at him, but I didn't speak. I was too angry to open my mouth. I couldn't promise I could control the severity of the vile hatefulness that would flow from me if I opened my mouth.
"She's no whore and no stripper. You have no idea the mistake you're making. Back off now and I won't report you for misconduct and abuse of power," Gerald said threateningly.
The officer laughed outright.
"Abuse of power! My, my. Ain't you two something. Let me tell you something buddy how about I can arrest you for threatening an officer of the law, how about that?" The officer goaded Gerald.
Gerald's face darkened.
"You are making a massive mistake." Gerald said in a low forced voice.
"You're the one making mistakes buddy. You and miss hot pants over there. Do you know how fast you were going?" The officer asked Gerald, leaning in close and speaking right next to Gerald's face. I could smell the man's horrible tobacco breath from the passenger's seat. I was still too afraid to speak. I couldn't believe this officer, and Gerald looked like a bomb ready to explode. I looked at the clock and wept softly though I tried to stop. We'd already been pulled over at least ten minutes; I had to get my Janie.
Gerald sighed.
"Seventy sir," Gerald said.
"Seventy in a forty-five. That's reckless driving Dr. Isles," The officer said my name in a sardonic tone that made my blood boil.
I gritted my teeth to hold in my frustration. Time was ticking and this stupid little boy was wasting far too much of it.
"Yes it is speeding. As I said there's an emergency, I have to get to the club as soon as possible." I hissed.
"I heard of that club. It's that old biker bar...the one with all the whores. What's the emergency? Is this guy your pimp; are you late for a 'date'?" The officer joked chuckling to himself.
The officer's insult was the last straw. I felt my teeth grinding in my head. I pulled out my car's registration from the glove box and handed it to the officer.
"I'm Doctor Maura Isles. Call Detective Frost on your radio and he will verify my identity and that I need to get where I am going immediately. Run my license plate, this car is registered to me. I have to get to my girlfriend at the club before she starts stripping or gets herself in trouble," I blurted out honestly.
The officer looked incredulous.
"A Doctor with a stripper girlfriend, I've heard it all." He chuckled again.
I rolled my eyes and swore under my breath.
"Please call Detective Frost please," was all I said.
The man just clicked his tongue and looked over my registration carefully. He was taking his very sweet time and it was grating on my nerves. I didn't have time for this. I kicked myself for not grabbing my purse before I left the office. I wanted to shout and rage in frustration. I understood that we had been excessively speeding but this officer seemed to be pumped up with ego and sarcasm. What point was he trying to make, I didn't know. But I swore to make a point or two of my own with this man when this was all over, but now was just not the time.
I couldn't focus on this officer's imprudence at the moment. I had so many other things to worry about. I'd left everyone at the plane, including my daughter without so much as a word. I swore and texted Consuela to get everyone back to the house and stay there. Angela needed to be in bed and so did James' children. When this was all over and Jane was safe at home again, I wanted Angela to be there for Jane to hold and comfort and love. I wanted so many things, but in the moment I was at the mercy of an idiot officer and I felt my hatred growing for him every second he spent fooling around. I tapped my fingers impatiently as I waited for the officer to go back to his patrol car and call Frost like I had asked. But he was just in no kind of hurry. Gerald Ingles was still as stone next to me. My frustrations bubbled over.
"Please officer," I insisted, my voice laced with contempt "Call Detective Frost so I may be on my way,"
The officer sniffed.
"I'm going to have to run your plates and check out this registration. I'll be back, you just sit tight little darling," The officer smiled roguishly at me.
I felt my face burning with rage. I swore angrily when the officer walked back to his car.
"You should call the station yourself and have them call the officer in his car." Gerald suggested.
My eyes lit up. Of course...why didn't I think of that?
I dialed the number to dispatch and told them what was going on.
"Of course Doctor Isles...hold on...what address did you give me again?" The woman's pleasant voice changed in an instant.
She sounded disturbed and frantic all of a sudden. I frowned slightly.
"I'm going to 1532 Cavalier Blvd. The Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club," I repeated patiently.
The woman was silent for a moment. When she came on the line again I couldn't mistake the urgency in her voice even though she was trying to remain composed.
"I just got a call on the radio, Detective Frost is calling in backup to that address...multiple shots fired...officers in duress...stay away from there until the scene is safe for CSU and the rest of your team Doctor Isles..."
I dropped the phone. My hands were trembling. My eyes were wide, my heart was racing, my skin broke out into goose bumps, and panic seized my heart.
"Jane," Was all I said before I leaned forward and emptied my stomach contents on the floor of the car.
"What's going ON?" Gerald asked, his face looked pale and shocked.
I sat up, my face horrified and full of alarm. I looked back at the officer in his patrol car. I gritted my teeth and steeled my nerves.
"Drive," I spat at Gerald.
"WHAT!" Gerald exclaimed.
Even he sounded frantic now and he was the epitome of self control.
"DRIVE!" I screamed at him.
"I can't..." Gerald started.
"...GET OUT!" I interrupted him.
I didn't have time for second guessing. Jane was very likely in that club; in danger...her life was in danger. There was nothing I would not do to get to her...NOTHING!
"Dr. Isles calm down and..."
"...Get out Gerald or DRIVE!" I screamed at him again.
My eyes were wide, radiating determination and fire. Gerald gulped and looked out the rear view mirror again. I cursed and took a deep breath. He started the engine, threw the car in drive, and we sped away. My heart was racing a mile a minute, my hands were trembling in fear, and my mind was overwhelmed with thoughts...terrible horrible thoughts of a life without Jane. The officer's car sped up behind us, his lights flashing and his siren blaring. Gerald looked panicked and terrified. We were technically running from the law. But I would not be stopped, I was Dr. Maura Isles. There was nothing I couldn't do, no obstacle I couldn't overcome, and no rookie officer I couldn't squash with the flick of my finger.
"What do we do?!" Gerald demanded.
"DON'T STOP!" I commanded of him. "We're almost there,"
Gerald swore and cursed. We raced down the street. The world was a blur around us. The sirens of the patrol vehicle cut the silence of the night like a knife through butter. My heart raced to match the speed of the car. My BMW's engine was roaring with power, the tires screeched at every turn sending up dust and smoke.
"I'm coming Jane...I'm coming sweetheart...hold on...hold on!" I prayed in my head.
I pleaded with God that he keep Jane safe. I prayed she was with James or Frost and not in that club. I prayed for James, Frost and Korsak too, I prayed they weren't hurt, I prayed they weren't in danger. I was relieved that I wasn't inside that club but I felt terrible guilt that Korsak was in there alone. Gerald and I raced and raced through the streets. The patrol car behind us was right on our tail, but wait, what was going on? Why was the patrol car passing us? The young rookie officer swerved from behind us and sped right by my car swerving back right in front of us his sirens still flashing and his lights still blaring. I was confused. Had the officer gotten the call for back up?
"Stay right behind him!" I shouted at Gerald.
He complied with my wishes.
...
James
I sat in the hot van twiddling my thumbs nervously as I watched the screen. Jane still hadn't left the dressing room. She was just talking to that little man. I hated myself for not getting back there to see her. I didn't want her to go through with this. This was appalling, my stomach was turning, and I felt so guilt-ridden. Maura would hate me forever if Jane got up on that stage. I hoped and prayed some miracle would happen and Jane wouldn't have to dance. Maybe she could find the motorcycle jacket guy and get a print or his hair and we could grab her and get the hell away from this awful place. My leg was shaking nervously and my eye lid was twitching. I kept picking up random things in the van and toying with them trying to distract myself from the horror of the situation. Frost kept glancing over at me and frowning. I didn't meet his eyes. I knew to him I appeared a little unusual. I was sweating like crazy. My pants were tight in places that made me extremely uncomfortable so I was constantly squirming and adjusting my crotch, and my mind was consumed with worst case scenarios.
"What happens if Jane gets in trouble?" not caring that I asked for the hundredth time.
Frost rolled his eyes again.
"We'll see it on the camera and I will call in for back-up and get her out of there." Frost sighed.
I shook my head.
"What if we can't wait for backup, what if we have to get in there in a hurry?" I pushed.
Frost's face looked grim.
"Korsak and I would have to take the place alone. But that's the absolutely worst case scenario. It's too dangerous to storm a place like that with only two officers. The chances of something going wrong are extremely high." Frost informed me.
"I will go in with you," I said intently.
Frost looked at me like I was crazy.
"You'll do us all a favor and stay the hell out the way." He frowned.
"If Jane's in trouble I'm going in there and you can't stop me. I have a black belt and you and Korsak would be better with me than without me if backup can't get here in time. Besides, I already told you what I'll do to you if Jane gets hurt." I retorted.
I may have sounded like a petulant child but I hadn't said anything that wasn't true. Frost just rolled his eyes. I sighed and picked up an oddly shaped canister, twirling it in my hands and studying it.
"What's this thing?" I asked curiously.
Frost looked over and grimaced.
"Smoke bomb. It's full of tear gas...it's for crowd control. Don't play with that thing." Frost eyed me sideways.
I stopped shaking the canister in my hand, but I didn't put it down. I turned back to the computer monitors. Jane's camera shifted. Both Frost and I leaned forward keenly in anticipation. My heart leapt and my stomach was agitated. Jane was walking now, down a dingy dark hallway toward the stage. I felt miserable and helpless as I watched the screen. I gritted my teeth, I knew what was coming or so I thought. It was Jane's turn to dance. Worry, dread and disappointment consumed me. I hated this. I hated sitting in this sweltering van watching helplessly as Jane traversed the corridor. I couldn't imagine what was keeping Maura, but I was so glad she wasn't here to see this. If this was a nightmare for me it would be indescribably horrific for Maura. I shook my head and sighed. I was just about to speak to Frost when the camera of Jane's necklace suddenly shifted. The view on the screen spun so quickly it made my head swim, and my eyes had to squint in an effort to see what was happening. The camera shook and bounced around, the screen shifted views wildly until it settled into blackness. It looked like Jane's camera was being blocked by something. Both Frost and I jumped in shock not sure what just happened on the monitor. It was so fast, a matter of a second or two, but the suddenness and the violent motion of the camera frightened me. Not to mention the eerily still blackness on the screen now. Every now and then it looked like something was moving over the camera, but there was no clear picture, just a shadow-like darkness. My heart raced.
"What the fuck was that?" I asked hysterically.
Frost looked puzzled and uneasy.
"I don't know, maybe she's hugging someone, or the necklace got caught on something and fell off." Frost said.
His eyes were wide and searching. I could tell his mind was racing. I could tell he was thinking of what to do now. I could tell he was anxious. His anxiety made my uneasiness rollover into alarm.
"Well what the hell? Hugging who goddamitt!? What if she's in trouble!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Frost was looking at the monitor so hard his nose was almost touching the screen. His face was pinched in concentration. His eyes narrowed into slits and his body was tense. I was already in a full on panic. I stood in the back of the van and stared down at the monitor. I didn't know what the fuck to do. Do I run into the club? Do I find Jane? Do I look for Korsak? Do I start knocking bikers out left and right until I found Jane? I felt so much apprehension it was hard to breathe or think straight. My fingers were trembling from the adrenaline now coursing through my veins.
"We gotta get in there now, something's wrong!" I exclaimed after a few moments when the view of Jane's camera didn't change.
Frost bit his fist thinking hard.
"We don't know what's going on! I can't just storm in there alone and flash my badge over nothing! Those dudes will scatter like rats and I could get hurt or killed! We may never find the guy with the jacket again if he gets away! Korsak's camera is fine. There nothing abnormal going on from his view." Frost said.
"But something is going on with Jane's camera! You saw it shift and now we can't see anything! Something's wrong!" I insisted.
Frost sighed.
"We don't know that. Jane could have turned around and the necklace swung and caught on something and fell off or malfunctioned. She was right at the stage anyway. She should show up on Korsak's camera any second now," Frost said with far too much confidence for my liking.
I don't know where he was getting his confidence, but I didn't have any faith at all in what he was saying. I stood staring between the monitors, my eyes flashing between Jane's feed and Korsak's feed over and over again. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. Jane's camera suddenly shifted again. It was shaky and out of focus and I couldn't make out anything that was going on. Then all of a sudden the camera lurched and went spinning and spiraling making my head feel dizzy and my stomach churn. Then the feed went black. Both Frost and I were speechless. We stared at the black screen with our eyes wide and our muscles tensed. My jaw was hanging open.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" I exclaimed.
"I dunno, the camera must have fallen off and broken," Frost moaned.
He leaned his elbows on the desk and hung his head heavily in his hands. Now it was his turn for his leg to shake uncontrollably. I was looking at him in bewilderment. I was waiting for an explanation, answers, directions or something...anything. But Frost seemed almost as worked up as me now! I grew furious with him.
"NOW WHAT!" I roared.
Frost sighed and looked back up at Korsak's screen. Nothing had changed from Korsak's camera view. There was still no Jane on stage. I was growing hysterical with fright.
"It's now up to Korsak; he'll keep an eye on Jane while she's in there. He's smart enough to keep his camera trained on her. Maybe he'll know to get her alone under the guise of a private lap dance and tell her to how to get the sample..."
"...FUCK THE GODDAMN SAMPLE!" I raged at Frost.
Frost looked at me startled. His eyes were HUGE and a little bit frightened. My chest was heaving in my disgust and impatience and fury. I was so sick of this case. I was sick of the inanity. I was sick of everyone's egoism. I didn't know exactly what Frost's motives were in keeping Jane in that position, but I knew damn well it wasn't for her safety at this point. I cursed hatefully under my breath. I punched the wall of the van in my anger. Why did I let Frost talk me into giving Jane a damn camera instead of figuring out how to get her the hell out of there? I knew that wasn't what Maura wanted and I hated to think of all the ways she would punish me for my judgment if something happened to Jane. Why was I sitting in this van wasting time, waiting for Jane to strip naked for those cocksuckers in that place? Why was I always such a coward? Why wasn't I a better man, a better friend? Why did I let it come to this?
"James, take it easy," Frost said eyeing me worriedly.
I swore angrily again. I looked back at Korsak's camera feed and sighed when I saw Jane still wasn't on stage.
Something could be happening to her, something was wrong. That thing with her camera was so weird and now we couldn't see anything. I gritted my teeth and my heart hardened. I set my jaw and glared at Frost. I was done fucking around. No more hide and fucking seek with the damn cameras.
"I'm going back in there and see what's going on!" I hissed at Frost.
I could feel my face burning. I could feel my cheeks flush. I could feel my jaw tightening. Frost's face looked panicked.
"It's too dangerous..."
"... OH fuck that! You can hide in here if you want you little shit but I'm going in there! AND you can explain to Maura what happened to Jane if something really is wrong and good luck with that! Give me one of those damn camera things!" I demanded. "And an earpiece,"
Frost groaned.
"I only had the two cameras, but I've got an extra earpiece. You can't go starting trouble" Frost insisted as he handed me the earpiece. "You're not trained to handle it..." Frost tried to discourage me but I was over listening to other people.
If something happened to Jane I had a long list of people's asses to kick and Frost was quickly climbing his way to the top. I stuffed the smoke canister into my jacket and sprang from the van slamming the door closed behind me. I ran across the street as fast I could go. Jane was in the back of the club. Maybe I could sneak into a back entrance and get her the fuck out of that place. I ducked and dodged behind parked cars scampering around like a thief trying to avoid detection. I made a wide circle around the side of the club avoiding the nasty bikers milling around outside and hid behind the dumpsters when I got to the back. Lucky for me, no one was at the back of the club. It was in an alley, a very gross looking alley that smell suspiciously like piss and vomit. There was trash and evidence of used contraband everywhere. I saw needles on the ground, used condoms and what were probably crack pipes. I cursed and swore when I stepped on one. I felt my skin crawl and I was starting to gag from the smell in the alley. I couldn't believe what the hell I was doing. I couldn't believe I was being reduced to this. I shuddered to think of what my wife would say if she knew. There was no amount of money Maura could pay me to compensate for the reality of my life in this moment and what I was willing to do and sacrifice to get to Jane. I was pissed off none the less though. It should have never come to this! If I died tonight and left my depressed wife alone with my three kids I swore in my heart to haunt Maura from my grave. I looked around frantically making sure the coast was clear. No cars came back here except trucks for loading and unloading supplies to the little shops of horror up and down the alley in the mornings. I took a deep breath and wished I still had my Taser. It wasn't a gun but it was something. I didn't believe in violence...but there were exceptions to every rule and one was being able to defend those I cared for. I was getting Jane out of this place if I had to drop kick bikers in the fucking face. I steeled my nerves and popped in my ear piece.
"Frost can you hear me?" I said frantically.
"Loud and clear," His voice sounded in my ear.
"I'm at the back, there's no one around. I'm going to try and get to the door and get inside to Jane." I said.
"James, please be careful man. If anything is wrong or goes wide of the mark tell me immediately and I'll call in back up for ya buddy." Frost assured me.
I nodded my head in response. It was taking everything I had left in me to think straight. My nerves were at their peak. My heart hurt in my chest. I worked hard to steady my breath. I wiped my sweaty palms on my too tight jeans and wiggled my fingers in anticipation. This was it. I was going in this place. I ran out from behind the dumpster straight for the door. I was grateful that no one was around. I reached the door without incident, thrilled that my plan was working. I reached for a door handle and stopped short when I realized there wasn't one. The door only opened from the inside unless you had a key. I cursed and kicked the door in my rage.
"FUCK!" I screamed.
I spun around cursing and fuming. My teeth hurt due to my jaw clenching so tightly. My chest heaved and my mind raced. I was just about to run for the front entrance when I thought I heard someone screaming. A woman's voice. Jane's voice. She sounded hysterical. But the voice was so weak. It was getting softer, like she was moving away from me. I slammed my body against the door and pressed my ear flat against its surface listening desperately for confirmation that I'd heard exactly what I thought I did. I was frightened. That scream, even though it was faint it chilled my blood to the core. My hair stood on end. I couldn't get this fucking door open. I didn't hear anything else, but something in my soul was driving me to take action. I banged and pounded on the door furiously but there was no answer, only silence. Something in my heart was sending my mind spinning with thoughts of all manner of horrible possibilities as to what could be happening. That scream, God that scream was making me lose what was left of my mind. I stepped back from the door in shock and fear. I just stared at it a moment. My mind was such a whirlwind it was hard to process specific thoughts. I remembered I had an earpiece in my ear.
"Frost... call for backup... something's wrong... something's happened to Jane!" I screamed loudly.
I was surprised at how frightened my voice sounded. It trembled and shook with unsteadiness. The scream... something about that scream! I felt something wet on my face. I touched my cheeks and realized tears were streaming from my eyes. I wiped them away furiously, growing angry at my fear.
"What happened...what's going on? Are you inside?" Frost's voice sounded frantic.
I jumped to my senses. I didn't have time to break down crying like a child. I'd save that for another day. I had to be brave now. I had to save the girl. I had to get to Jane.
"I heard a scream..." I shouted as I ran around the front of the club. "You have to call for backup, we have to get Jane!"
My arms and legs were pumping with a fury. I ran like a track star. I'd never moved so fast in my entire life and I was a wide receiver on my college football team. I sprang around the front of the club slipping and sliding as I took the corner. I skidded and caught myself from falling just barely. I ran right up to the bouncer again and shoved all the rest of my cash into his hands before bursting into the club without so much as a word. I stalked right towards the door by the stage. My back was straight and my head was held high. My eyes were wild with determination. I bumped the people in my way with my shoulder not bothering to apologize. Eyes went wide as I passed. Questioning and hateful looks followed my movements. I was crazed in my desperation at this point. I don't know what came over me, but I can only describe it as primal, guttural instinct. Jane was in trouble, I knew it in the depths of me. All my frustration and all my anger that had built since Jane begged me to spy on Maura with her caught fire and burned me up from the inside driving me to act. I wasn't taking any more of anyone else's crap! I was done with this asinine bullshit and no one better get in my way. I walked right toward the backstage door until I was stopped short again by the same man that stopped me earlier.
"The pussy is back to play with the big boys," the man taunted me.
He was well into the alcohol now. A crowd was quickly gathering around to watch the spectacle between him and me. Several of his cronies surrounded us. All bulky, fetid men decked out in leather and denim with ugly untrimmed beards. I was not afraid at all this time. I was a bullet train and they were in my way. I was a bullet train and they were in my way! I would bowl them over in an instant. The angry violent person of my youth I fought so hard for so many years to keep buried away inside me came boiling over in the heat of my passion to get to Jane. I locked the most hateful gaze at the man in my way. I felt a chill run down my spine, an effect of my own bloodcurdling thoughts of violence. I thought I saw the man flinch a little as he looked at me. His eyes weren't so certain anymore. I stared him down, my chest heaving, my muscles engorged with blood, my eyes popping from their sockets.
"Get the fuck out of my way and take me to Emily NOW!" I said in the most chilling voice I'd ever heard.
I knew right then, facing the man standing between me and Jane's salvation, that there was absolutely nothing I was not incapable of doing. Violence they say is basic, every man and every woman is capable of extreme violence under the right amount of stress or proper motivation. Maura told me that one time. I thought of Maura again, I heard Jane's scream replay in my head. My body shivered at the thought. I stepped closer to the man, my eyes ablaze with fury. I could see red I was so driven by loathing and determination. There was a sound escaping me, a deep growl in my throat, fire and ice was the feeling in my soul. The man in front of me had only alcohol in his veins, I could take him in an instant and I knew it, but he was too foolish to back down. He was motivated by another instinct, pack instinct and pride. His eyes spoke of fear to me, but he sneered in my face anyway. He had his cronies behind him.
"Oh yeah... that sweet little Emily. Don't worry... my boy's back there taking real good care of her," the man laughed in my face.
All the other bikers laughed too. Their laughter cut me to the quick. It was menacing, unseemly, malicious, dangerous, and spiteful to my ears. Fear for Jane engulfed me. Something in that man's sentence sent waves of fury and disgust through my veins.
"GO get her now asshole...she's MINE!" I roared at the man.
Everyone laughed again. I felt the animals close in around me, circling me, waiting to devour me like a hungry pack circles preparing to devour its prey. The man in front of me laughed the hardest. He pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and threw it in my face.
"Here's for the girl. That should cover all of us. We'll fuck that whore real good for ya; you won't want her back by the time we're done." The man sneered.
Jeering laughter erupted around me again. Blinding rage enveloped me. I was a flash of lightening. My adrenaline exploded. My mind, body, and heart were one. Every part of me was in communion with my fury, in sync with my desire, a slave to my will. I let out a heart stopping roar. I felt the power of it down to the tips of my toe nails. I saw only blood. I punched the man in front of me so hard I felt his jaw shatter beneath the onslaught of my fist. The man dropped to the floor, knocked out clean and completely immobilized. I flew for the backstage door but three men jumped on me. I was punched in the stomach so hard I doubled over. I felt a pool stick smash the back of my head, I took a kick to the ribs but I would not be stopped. My adrenaline could not be matched. I became a whirl of fists. My martial arts' training was my only savior. Men came at me from every angle. I spun, ducked, kicked and punched. I screamed and cursed at them in fury and rage. They could not have Jane. She was not a whore. She was my friend, my sister's lover. She had a daughter, and a home, and people that loved her. She had a life with hopes, dreams and so much to live for. She didn't deserve to suffer any longer; she'd suffered so much already, far too much. And all her suffering was caused at the hands of these fucking maniacs. I would not let them bring more pain down on her.
I was a man possessed. I was fighting for one I held dear. I took as many blows as I gave but I did not falter. I spun around one man and pushed him into the punch of another. I grabbed a pool stick from the rack and broke it immediately over the next man's head that attacked me. I smashed beer bottles in the faces of men twice my size. I broke noses, I broke jaws, I broke arms, I broke fingers, I broke spirits, and I broke pride. This sissy boy would make a stand on this night. The bikers came and came, some with weapons, all with promises of retribution but as beaten and broken as I was, I just could not stop. I would not lie down. My body refused to quit. I suffered, my hands bled, my knuckles were broken and busted, my head streamed blood, my face a punching bag...but I just couldn't stop. Jane's scream...that scream would not leave my mind. The entire club erupted in violence. I was in a state barely of this earth. I was in a higher place where there was no pain, there was nothing but the enemy in front of me and the need to vanquish them. I was vaguely aware that Detective Korsak was right beside me, fighting for his life and mine. He gave as many blows as he received. Younger men dropped before this old detective's might. Korsak was beast, I couldn't believe he held so much power. Women shrieked in terror. Cowards backed away trembling in fear. We were thunder and lightning. I wasn't fighting for me; I'd never have the strength to face this horde for myself alone. These foolish bikers had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. They threatened something above them, beyond them, something and someone that didn't belong to them...they would pay...with their lives if necessary. I would see to that, Korsak would see to that, Maura would see to that, even Frost would see to that. But still that scream would not stop playing in my mind. I had to get to Jane...I had to get to Jane.
The mania in the club all around me was insanity. It was sheer and utter chaos. Korsak and I were battling enemies at every turn. As soon as one fell there was another to take their place. We could not hold them at bay for long. I was nearing the end of my strength. My chest heaved so rapidly my vision was becoming hazy or perhaps that was due to the many blows to my face and head. Either way, our situation was dire, Jane's situation was dire. Help must come for us or we would surely fall.
"FROST" I screamed, "CALL FOR BACKUP...CALL FOR BACKUP!"
"They're already on their way!" Frost yelled back into my ear piece.
He sounded frantic, he sounded out of breath, and he sounded like he was running. I didn't have time to speak to him more because the man nearest me stopped short just before he smashed a bottle over my head. His eyes went wide, his jaw went slack, I knew he heard me scream for backup.
"COPS!" He screamed, "COPS! THEY'RE COPS!"
The man jumped up and down and pointed at Korsak and I. Fear gripped me. I punched the man in the face so hard he dropped like a sack of potatoes, but the damage was done. Hysteria broke out. People were running and screaming everywhere. People were getting trampled trying to get to the exits. I saw a path open up toward the backstage door and I ran for it. I reached the door and pulled at it with all my might but it was locked. I cursed and roared with frightening fury. I kicked at the door so hard the entire door frame shook and bent. I heard shots fire behind me. I spun around terrified. I spotted Detective Korsak wrestling with a man with a gun. Two more men were coming at Korsak; one had a knife and the other a very large bat. I screamed in fury. I had to get to Jane, but I couldn't leave the officer alone. My mind raced. Pandemonium was everywhere. People ran around running into one another snatching bottles from behind the bar, random fights broke out all over the place, women were screaming. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, like some kind of bad dream with racing, disjointed pictures. I felt a ringing in my ears from so many blows to my head. I shook my head to try and shake the sense back in. I remembered the smoke canister in my pocket. I reached for it and pulled the pin throwing it right in the middle of Korsak and the man he was wrestling with the gun. Smoke poured from the canister. I jumped over three bodies and kicked a man in the chest that was coming at Korsak with the knife. Detective Frost suddenly appeared absent his suit jacket and hit the man with the bat in the face so hard with his elbow that a loud cracking noise was heard on impact. I kicked the man with the gun in the back of the knee and he lost his balance. Korsak kneed him in the throat and the man collapsed to the ground coughing and spitting blood. I went at several more men but it was hard to breath. The tears gas was filling the room making my eyes water and scream in pain, my skin burned like fire, my nose ran snot like a water fountain. I choked and coughed and stumbled and spit.I fell to my knees exhausted and debilitated by the gas. I felt cheated and defeated, I couldn't see, I couldn't get to Jane, but her screams...GOD her screams. I cursed and raged and cried. I crawled around trying to feel my way toward the backstage door but the room was so filled with smoke it was impossible to tell one direction from another. I heard people gasping and dropping all around me as the gas overcame them. The noise of fighting and rage became the noises of terror and desperation. I felt the world spin before my burning eyes, my muscles cramping and aching on the verge of giving out completely. I crawled around whimpering desperate to find the backstage door when suddenly I felt strong arms grab my collar lifting me to my feet and pushing a towel against my face. I was being pulled somewhere, but I couldn't see where. There was too much smoke. I wanted to struggle but the hands holding me were gentle, not violent. I was led through the backstage door where the air was cleaner and the door was promptly closed behind me. I leaned over, grasping my knees; I coughed and spit up repeatedly, choking on the horrible smoke until I just finally vomited. Blood poured down my neck and face from a blow I took to the back of the head. Everything hurt, my whole body hurt. My chest heaved and my limbs trembled. My eyes burned so badly I couldn't even open them. Tears streamed down my face.
People were screaming at me. Two men... one voice soft, one deep and strong. It sounded like Gerald Ingles...and that little man Henry. Henry was saying something about Emily. Who the hell was Emily? Wait...it was Jane...that's right Jane. Oh God Jane! Where was she...I had to get to her...I had to get to her...she needed me...where was she? I forced my eyes open through the burning. I forced my body upright and my back straight. I forced my lungs to take deep breaths. I wiped the snot from my nose with the towel Gerald gave me. I could barely see. My vision was blurry. The hallway was dark and dingy; the air was still thick with the smell of the tear gas. A shadowy group of people slowly came into focus down the hallway. Someone was on the floor. A woman. I stumbled forward, shuffling my feet. I was off balance and awkward in motion. I leaned heavily against the wall to keep from falling. There was something on the floor...blood...so much blood. Terror seized me again. The blood led right to the woman on the floor. Henry was screaming at Emily to get up. He kept saying that name Emily...Emily wasn't her name...her name was Jane. It was Jane.
"...Get up Emily...GET UP!" Henry cried.
His voice was so shrill. He sounded hysterical. Why was he crying so hard? Why was he bleeding? Jane, what was wrong with Jane? So much blood. I kept stumbling forward. Gerald Ingles' face was stunned. He took off his jacket and wrapped Jane's body. I couldn't see Jane clearly. He was blocking my view, but I suddenly stopped moving. I opened my eyes as wide as they would go. There was so much blood...so much blood. I could see Jane's feet, there was blood running down her legs all the way to her ankles. My entire body began to tremble. I heard her coughing. It sounded like she was choking. I felt my eyes water, but this time it had nothing to do with the tear gas. I collapsed to my knees and crawled to Jane. I shoved Gerald and Henry away roughly, gasping when I saw Jane's broken and beaten body.
"NO...no Jane...no...NO! NO! NO!" I wept uncontrollably.
I let out a sound from inside me I didn't know I was capable of making. I never felt such dismay; I'd never seen such violent torment, such harm, such reprehensible abuse to a person. Jane's body was devastating to look upon. Her arm was twisted grossly at her side, her entire torso was purple and bruised, her face was covered in blood, and her hair was soaked in the red sticky blood. Her thighs were...oh my God…I broke down into tears. Why didn't I get to her sooner? I despised myself. I tried so hard, I fought so hard, I did everything I could think of to do and still...still! My heart felt broken, my body exhausted in every way, my hope shattered. Jane coughed and blood gurgled from her mouth. I cried and sobbed, I wanted to comfort her, and hold her, and wrap her in my arms but I was so afraid to touch her. I didn't want to cause her more pain. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; she was shaking profusely and breathing shallow labored breaths. Anguish broke me. I whispered her name over and over, begging her to be ok, promising her everything would be ok.
"I'm here, Jane...it's me James...Jane I'm here." I whispered in her ear.
But the words brought no comfort; I doubted Jane could hear me anyway. I detested myself for what happened to her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead softly.
"Maura's coming...hold on Jane...Maura's coming. She loves you so much...so much! And Angela, she loves you and she needs you. She needs you Jane...you gotta hold on! Angela's so pretty Jane, she looks just like you. She's got your hair, and your eyes, and your smile. She lights up when you walk in the room, she's such a brave girl and strong just like you. She made it through her surgery, she made it through the pain...Jane you gotta do it too...you gotta be strong, she needs you, Maura needs you." I pleaded with Jane tears streaming down my face.
Jane turned her head and looked at me through unfocused distant eyes. She was fading, hurting, drifting into the darkness. My lips trembled as I leaned over her. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted her to live, I wanted her to be happy, and I wanted her daughter to have a mother and Maura to have a partner. I cried harder as I watched the darkness consume her. I brushed her hair from her face but my hand was shaking so violently I cursed in anger. I wrapped Gerald's jacket around her tighter. I didn't want to see her bruised body. I didn't want to imagine what happened to her. It hurt too much, so much.
"Just think of Angela. Think of Maura. Think of how much they love you," I whispered gently, my voice choked and splintered with grief.
I tried to wipe the blood now pouring from her mouth with my towel. Jane looked up at me. I thought I saw her try to smile. She kind of squeezed my hand but she had no strength. I held hers as tightly as I could. I rocked back and forth, back and forth. I cried and said her name. I cursed myself and Maura and Frost and Korsak and especially the motherfucker that did this to her. I vowed for justice. I demanded all manner of retribution and suffering to those that had ever caused this to happen. I cursed God and everything I once thought was good. Why was this happening to Jane, not Jane...not sweet, funny, playful, sarcastic Jane. She tried to speak, but only more blood pooled from her mouth. I gently pulled her closer to me and dabbed at her face. I wanted to clean her up. I wanted her to be beautiful again. I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted to see her play with her daughter. I wanted to see Maura smile when Jane told her she loved her. I wanted Maura to kiss her. I wanted Maura to love her. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted Jane to be ok...I just wanted her to be ok! I held her hand to my face and kissed her wrist.
"I'm so sorry Jane. I should have been here. I should have never let you come here. I should have watched you closer. I should have made Maura see. I should have made Maura stop. I'm so sorry Jane...I'm so very sorry J-J..." I collapsed into tears again.
I couldn't speak through my pain any longer. I felt Jane's fingers on my face. She brushed my cheek with her thumb; she tried to smile at me again.
"Where's M-M-Maura, s-s-s-she hate me? T-T-Tell her I love her J-James. I love h-her. My baby...I wanna s-see my baby...Angela...Angela..." She whispered.
I could barely hear her. Her voice had no strength. I swallowed many times, the lump in my throat choking me. The tears in my eyes burned my cheeks. Jane's soft words cut me. I tried to smile though I felt weary and spent.
"Don't talk like that Jane, Maura could never hate you, she loves you so much. You know she loves you, I know you do. You're gonna get better and Angela and Maura are going to be so happy. When you wake up...she'll be right there, giggling and laughing like she does every time she sees you. Just go to sleep now Jane, go to sleep and dream of them, when you wake up, it will all be ok. You'll see. Maura will protect you...she loves you!" I said rubbing Jane's hand. My voice was so shaky I would barely speak. I wanted to think she heard me; I wanted to think she was smiling but she was just so broken.
She started to weep but she coughed so hard my heart seized in terror. Her teeth were red and she had a mouth full of blood that gurgled every time she tried to speak. I turned her head so she didn't choke anymore. I cried as more blood poured out of her mouth. I shook my head and forced myself not to curse and scream. The light in Jane's eyes was gone. She just looked hollow, empty, lost and hopeless. I tried to remind her of Angela and Maura. I tried to remind her she had so much to live for. I tried to tell her heaven wasn't ready for her yet, that she was strong, that she was wonderful, that she couldn't leave her baby alone, but the darkness in her eyes was a pool of blackness beyond my reach. Tears streamed from her eyes leaving streaks through the blood that covered her face. Her neck was bruised like she'd been choked. Her mouth worked but no words came out anymore. I could hardly bare to look anymore. I closed my eyes against the sight of her pain and suffering. My lips trembled and my chin quivered and I sobbed softly to myself. I held her hand so tightly, her fingers growing colder. I didn't even hear the police kick down the back door. I didn't hear the footsteps stampeding down the hallway. I didn't notice anything until the EMT'S tried to pull me away from Jane. I was manic; I didn't want to leave her. Not again. Not again. I wouldn't fail her again. I kicked, punched and screamed and tried to get away but I couldn't break free of them. I was pushed back against the wall and held firmly by my chest. I saw Detective Korsak's face in front of me through my tears.
"James calm down buddy, we'll get Jane the help she needs but you have to keep cool. You're a hero today James, you saved lives today. You're a fine man," Detective Korsak said firmly.
I looked at him like he was crazy. What the fuck was he talking about? I was no hero. Heroes save the girl. Heroes stand up for what's right before it's too late. I was no fucking hero and I hated Detective Korsak for saying so. I slapped his hand away from me and wiped at my tears. I heard Maura's voice.
She was screaming next to Jane. She was falling apart. She was breaking down completely. She was crippled with grief. Her screams wrenched at my heart. They were terrible to hear. The EMT's were trying to move Jane but Maura wouldn't let her go. She was doubled over in grief. She laid her body across Jane's and held her as tightly as she could. Maura kissed Jane's face over and over begging her to get up, to be ok, screaming apoligies, crying from the depths of her soul. Maura kept running her hand through Jane's hair, her fingers were sticky and red, her clothes covered in blood, her body shaking with grief. People were pleading with Maura, begging her to back away. But Maura heard no one. She saw nothing but the broken body of her lover and was shattered. I wiped my tears. I had to be strong again even though I just wanted to lie down and sleep. Korsak and Frost looked away from Maura. Their faces strained and pinched in dismay and guilt. I went over and sat next to Maura, my oldest friend and sister. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into my body crushing her in a hug. Maura screamed and cried begging to be released. She reached for Jane, but I held her firmly and did not let go. She cried Jane's name over and over while the EMT's strapped Jane to a board and lifted her onto the transport bed. I held Maura firmly. I felt her body, her every muscle quaking in grief, trembling with hysterical cries. Her hot tears dotted my arms, her screams...God her screams. I pulled her face into my chest and rocked her slowly as the EMT's rushed Jane down the hallway. Maura screamed louder and louder as Jane was taken away. Furious, she started slapping wildly at me with both hands, her eyes frenetic and frightened. She was distraught and filled with anguish, remorse and so much agony.
"Why didn't you get here sooner?! How could you let this happen?! I told you to get her out of here! I trusted you...I trusted you!" She raged at me. Maura's eyes were on fire. She looked like she wanted to kill me, gouge out my eyes, and rip out my heart. I cried and wept as she beat on me, but I did not stop her. I let her hit me. I hated myself just as much as she hated me in this moment. I hated life itself right then. Maura screamed and cursed me, her hysteria and crying breaking my heart.
"I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU...I HATE YOU!" Maura screeched as she berated me.
Her slapping stung my face. Her nails scourged and scratched my skin. Her words cut me deeply, but it was the pain in her eyes that crippled me. It was the torment I saw, the self-loathing. It was her voice, high and shrill and heartbroken that broke my spirit. Everyone around us was staring, gape jawed and wide eyed. I felt my eyes leaking tears again as my longest friend beat and tormented my already broken soul. But I understood her suffering. I wrapped Maura in my arms again and hugged her as tightly as I could. She fell into me, hugging me back, saying Jane's name over and over and sobbing from the depths of her soul. I lifted her in my arms as I stood to my feet. I walked down the dark, dingy, blood streaked hallway filled with officers and detectives and medical personnel. Some were crying, some hung their heads and some just seemed to stare at nothing in particular. My eyes were blank, my body broken and tired, my mind spent of all emotion. I walked with my friend in my arms until Gerald Ingles took her from me. I walked until my legs gave out beneath me. I fell to the floor exhausted, my body beaten, my heart broken. I thought of my wife Molly. The world faded away.
A/N: I know that was long and sad at the end...but please review! I love you guys. Peace
