A/N: Firstly let me apologize for the long long wait for this update. I've been caring for my mother who had surgery and I couldn't focus on this as much as I wanted to. Also once again I wrote like three other chapters and scrapped them before finally managing to get this together. I'd like to thank my poor beta Mrj726 for dealing with me and being patient through this whole process and dedicating her time and attention to make this more beautiful and perfect for me. I'd also like to thank all of you still reading and enjoying this work, your reviews make my day and make all my sacrifices worth while. I hope you enjoy the update, we are very close to the end, please review. With all that being said...here we go.
Jane
Maura cradled Tommy in her arms as she sat in the rocking chair next to our bed. I stopped reading the Batman comic book for a moment just to look at her. Her eyes never left his face. She just kept running her fingers through his hair. From time to time she would kiss and whisper to him. Sometimes I heard what she said to him, sometimes I didn't. Mostly she just said 'I love you son' and she would kiss him again. In those moments, I would fall even further in love with her.
It was a little over an hour since we discovered the bruises on Tommy's back. Within that hour, the terror and anger I felt over knowing someone hurt my son on purpose was as if a knife had been repeatedly twisted in my gut. I wanted to scream I was so furious. I felt insane with grief, guilt, and rage. When I first saw Tommy in the bathroom with his bruised and far too thin body I thought I would lose my mind. I thought for sure Maura would fly into a rage the likes of which I had never seen. I've seen the woman rage more times than I cared to, but if ever there was a time for fury this was surely it. But Maura did not fall apart, scream, yell, or succumb to anger. She held our son in a hug as tightly as she dared while tears streamed down her face. She did not speak for a long while, even as I tried desperately to get Tommy to tell us what happened to him. She wouldn't let go of his body and she wouldn't stop telling him she loved him. Her tears wouldn't stop coming.
My own tears were hot with anger. I knew Maura was angry, but her pain out shadowed all emotions splayed across her face. I pleaded with Tommy to tell me what happened but he wouldn't speak. He held onto Maura, burying his face in her hair. I would not dare to pry him from her arms. Maura's arms were the safest place I'd ever found in the world and there were no other arms I cared to see around Tommy in that moment. Maura took my hand as she rocked our son on the bathroom floor. She held onto me tightly like she needed something from me, like she was afraid to let go. When her eyes met mine red and tear-filled, I thought I would break. I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed them softly. I had unshed tears that wanted desperately to fall, but I held them gritting my teeth with fierce determination. I would not break. Not this time. The agony and wrath I felt was indescribable, but still I tried so hard not to cry. Maura must have seen the pain in my face. She cradled my hot flushed cheeks in her hand and smiled at me through her tears. I held her hand against my face and tried to smile back but when my eyes fell on Tommy's back again all that escaped me was a sob and tears I quickly tried to hide. I lightly kissed my son's back as Maura held him. I brushed my fingers over his black and blue bruises and bit my lip to keep from screaming. I could feel all of his bones under his skin.
I sat quietly by as Maura ran a bath for him and gingerly lowered him into the tub. I wanted to say so many things, but I could find no words of comfort for our son. Maura filled the silence with light-hearted chatter and smiled at Tommy every time his eyes met hers. She was so good to him, so sweet, gentle and kind. He held her hand and never let it go. I knew how much Maura was suffering, I could tell by the forced calm of her voice and the way it would crack from time to time. But still she gave Tommy her best smile and somehow it seemed to calm him.
I wanted to be like Maura, strong and brave, but I was just so tired of suffering and tired of seeing those I loved suffer. I felt guilty that I could offer my son nothing more than my tears, but I prayed with all my heart in thanks that at least Tommy had Maura. When Tommy looked at me in the bathtub with his beautiful eyes, I swear I saw my brother's face looking back at me. I thought of my brother and how much it would hurt him to see his son this way. I lowered my head to hide my face. I could not bear to see how much he suffered. I wiped my eyes furiously as though I could wipe away my hearts torment.
"I'm ok Aunt Janie; please don't make me go back to the bad place." Tommy begged me in that soft little voice of his.
I looked up into his wide sad eyes. I felt my lips quivering and I swallowed hard to keep from crying even more. I reached my hand to his face and stroked his cheek.
"Buddy, I love you s-s-so much. You're the sweetest little boy I've ever k-k-known and you're our son. You're never going back to that place again...ever. This is your home now and we will take care of you. Maddy and I will fight for you and you don't have to hurt anymore baby boy. No one will ever hurt you like this again I swear it." My voice was shaking so much it hurt my throat.
But I would tell my son what he needed to hear, the truth, that he was my shining star. Tommy's eyes looked at me. He seemed to look into me like he was praying to find comfort and truth in my words. I could tell he wanted so badly to believe me.
"Do you want to tell us who hurt you sweetheart? I need to know so Maddy and I can protect you. You can trust us we'll keep you safe." I pleaded with him.
Maura squeezed my hand and I felt her shaking slightly next to me. Tommy looked between the two of us and started to speak; then he looked down at the fresh bruises on his tummy and arms and turned his head from us not saying a word. I felt my eyes filling with tears again but Maura squeezed my hand and tried so hard to smile at me. I held back my tears and ran my hands through his curls. I wanted to speak again, but my voice caught in my throat. I wanted him to believe me that we would always keep him safe but I didn't know how. I wanted to see him smile, but I didn't know what to say or do. He had such a sweet face and such a precious smile. Yet, already the world had seen fit to curse him with a pain no child should ever know. It wasn't fair, why did Tommy have to suffer? I started to break down in misery when I felt Maura's arms wrap around me. I felt her kiss on my cheek. I felt her lips in my ear.
"We're going to get through this, we have to be strong for our son right now princess. I will make sure he stays with us from now on; I will fight for our son. I promise you this. But I need you to be brave honey and let our son see you smiling, you can do it, we will do it together." Maura whispered in my ear.
Her words and her breath in my ear sent shivers down my spine. Calm came over me. She wrapped her arm around me tighter and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes and remembered why I loved her so much. I was not alone anymore, I had Maura and she was everything. I took a deep breath. I felt the power of Maura's love and conviction wrap around me and settle me, body and soul. I opened my eyes and saw Maura kissing Tommy's cheeks like she kissed mine and Angela's. Tommy seemed to be as comforted by Maura's touch as I was. He looked up at her as she cradled his face and I saw his body relax. I knew Maura was angry, I knew she was thinking of all the ways to punish those that had hurt our son, but Maura had changed so much since I was raped. Even through her rage, Maura found a way to bring calm to those around her. She just had this way about her, a power and strength in her spirit that could force darkness from minds and hearts. It was a gift she gave only to her family, to me and our children. I have never been as thankful for her as I was at this moment.
"Do I really not gotta go back to the bad place?" Tommy asked softly.
He looked between Maura and me with pleading eyes. I could see just how much he wanted to believe what we were saying was true.
"I promise son, you're home now." Maura said.
She kissed him and tickled his under arms. Her smile was loving and sincere. Tommy squealed and squirmed and giggled. Then he smiled, he actually smiled and he was beautiful.
"Let's get you cleaned up little prince and you can go back to sleep. When you wake up we will have breakfast and Consuela will take you to the fair with Angela and you'll eat junk food, ride rides, play games baby boy and you'll have so much fun. When you get home Maddy and Mommy will read more to you or we can watch a movie or anything you want to do. Whatever you like," Maura said sweetly and lovingly to our son.
I could see tears in her eyes but she held them inside as she spoke to him. It was plain to see she loved him so much, and it was evident in everything she did down to the glow in her eyes when she looked at him. Maura smiled at me and even though her eyes were red and tired and her face was puffy and pale from crying, she was incredibly breathtaking.
"I've never been to a fair before. I don't wanna go Maddy. I wanna stay here with you and mommy." Tommy said rubbing his tired, watery eyes.
My heart soared when he called me mommy. It felt like my heart broke with love. I felt another tear run from my eye, but it was not a tear of sadness. It was joy, unspeakable joy. Maura turned and looked at me; there were tears in her own eyes. She leaned in and kissed my lips and all I felt was happiness.
"If you don't want to go, you don't have to baby boy. But I promise that Consuela will take really good care of you, and you will have so much fun. I want you to have fun, laugh and play. You're a little boy, and that's what little boys do. Maddy and Mommy have some things to do tomorrow, but when you come home from the fair, I promise we will do anything you like." Maura said.
"Will you read to me now?" Tommy asked me.
He had a way of avoiding things, sort of like I did but I smiled at him anyway. Neither Maura nor I would push him just yet. All we had to offer him in the moment was our love.
"You got it baby boy," I winked at him.
Tommy grinned and when he did it made his bruises disappear if only for just a moment.
Maura and I bathed him together. Maura washed his body while I entertained Tommy with Batman comic books. He absorbed the words I read his eyes dreamy and distant. He giggled when Maura washed his feet and laughed when she tickled his sides. He squirmed and splashed around when she tried to wash his ears. He whined and complained when Maura washed his hair. But all the while Maura just smiled at him and calmed him with gentle words. She turned on the jets of the tub and Tommy's eyes went wide before he leaned back and sighed in content as the churning water eased his pain. Maura let Tommy soak for a while in the jets as I read to him. I could see her studying his body and making notes in her head but she kept a smile on her face despite the way I knew she was hurting. She put lotion on his skin when she pulled him from the tub. She took her time. I knew she was noting all his injuries in her mind and new exactly by just looking at him how long the beatings had been happening. She was gentle with him but I noticed her lips thinned, her jaw set, and for a moment I felt a familiar wave of icy chill rolling off of her. But it did not last long. She did not look at me as she observed Tommy's body. I did not want to hear her hypothesis at the moment anyway. I knew Maura would take care of anything Tommy needed but what I needed in that moment was to see him smiling and somehow Maura managed to make that happen. Finally Maura dressed him in a fresh pair of pajamas.
Tommy's eyes were droopy. He was yawning non-stop by the time we brought him back to our bed. He begged me to read to him some more and I indulged him. Maura laid him gently on the bed on his stomach. She laid warm towels across his back to soothe the pain and swelling of the newest bruises. Tommy sighed, closed his eyes, and calm came over his face. Maura softly massaged the muscles in his back with gentle fingers. I knew she was checking for broken bones or internal injuries. She watched his face as she worked. Every slight wince he made, Maura took note and she would touch him more tenderly in that spot. Sometimes I saw her eyes grow so red when Tommy would whimper in pain, I thought she would break down into sobs, but she never did. She would lean down, stroke his hair, kiss him, and whisper I love you again. Tommy responded to her like her voice was magic, the most soothing medicine, and he would relax again.
I read to him as best I could. I tried to make my voice entertaining and exciting, but when he would wince or cry my voice would break, tears would roll from my eyes, and I would have to turn my head. I did not want Tommy to see the pain in my expressions. I could tell it made him anxious, and I wanted to be strong for him like his Maddy. Maura would smile at me when I did this. She would peck my lips and when she told me she loved me, I knew she had never meant it more. Maura rubbed a light salve over Tommy's back to ease the pain in his body. He shuddered and then he smiled when the salve started to work. Maura pulled him into the rocking chair with her. He tangled his little fingers in her hair just like Angela. He said nothing. He just stared at her as she rocked him, sang to him and if I didn't know better I would say he was smiling. Maura held him in her arms and just now his eyes were closing again. I prayed my son found peace in his dreams. When I finally heard the rhythmic breathing of his sleep I sighed in relief. I closed the comic book and rubbed my tired weary eyes. Maura looked as exhausted as me, but still she was as beautiful as the day I first lay eyes on her. I just sat and watched her with Tommy for a while in silence. I loved her so much it hurt.
Finally she looked up at me when Tommy's body relaxed into a deep sleep. That's when her tears came. She buried her face in his curls and cried softly as she rocked him. I was on my feet in an instant. Maura had been my strength through so many trials, but in that moment it seemed as if all her strength was lost. I kneeled beside the rocking chair and pulled her head to rest on my shoulder.
"Baby... Don't cry honey. We can figure this out. We will fix this. It's going to be ok...we're going to fix this." I tried to assure my love, but she only cried harder. Her body shook with her sobs. She held our son even more tightly against her.
I was surprised by her reaction. I had expected so many things from Maura in this moment. Where was her rage, where was her fury, where was the titan of a woman I had come to know? It was me that always broke down; it was me that always surrendered to the pain and the darkness. But in that moment it seemed like the darkness was closing in on Maura and she had no strength left to fight. I clenched my teeth and set my jaw. I pulled her head from my shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. She just looked so sad, almost defeated; it was a look I'd never seen in her face before. I ran my fingers through her hair and pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her with all the love in my heart. She kissed me back timidly at first, but I did not stop and she did not push me away. When I pulled out of the kiss we just stared at each other, into one another. Whatever strength I had I gave to her, she could have all of me that she needed, and she was my everything.
"We will get through this baby." I whispered softly.
Tommy squirmed in Maura's arms and whimpered like he was in pain. His face scrunched up like he was having a nightmare. In an instant, Maura's eyes were only for her son. She shushed him softly and kissed his cheeks. She sang to him a sweet lullaby and smiled at him when his body stilled into sleep again. I kissed the top of his head and Maura took my hand again. It was a while before she spoke and when she did her voice sounded tired and hollow as if she was in a dream.
"From the day I met you I've been fighting," She finally spoke softly. "From the day I met you I've been fighting for you, for Angela, for us. I feel like sometimes I'm fighting the whole world baby, like everything is against us. But I keep fighting, I keep pushing, I keep going because I believe...because I know you're worth it, we're worth it, that one day if I fight hard enough we'll be happy together and we won't have to fight anymore. I thought it was over, I thought...I thought after we made love last night that we had finally won, that we would be happy for real...forever. But now... this... our little boy... He needs so much. But I feel like I don't know what to give him, like I don't know if I have anything left to give. I would do anything for you...I would die for you and my daughter...and I would die for him too Janie, for our son. I'll give everything I've got if it takes my last breath." Maura paused and closed her eyes. Her face was so full of pain it broke my heart. I touched her face but she did not look at me. Her eyes lowered and her tears fell on Tommy's face.
"I am so tired. I feel...weak and I know I must be strong, my son needs me." Maura could barely speak, her eyes closed again and her voice waivered and broke. But when she opened her eyes and looked down at Tommy she smiled. She pulled him tighter into her body and rocked him slowly. "I only know I love him. I will always love him." Maura looked up at me.
Her eyes were sparking with tears and she swallowed many times. My heart seemed to bleed as I looked at her. She suddenly looked so weary as if the months of battles and sacrifices she made on my behalf were all rushing in and robbing her of her light. As I looked into her eyes I realized just how much and how hard she did fight, that she was still fighting for me and my happiness. I was overcome with love and the truth of her love for me. I cradled her face in my hands. I wanted to speak but I could find no words. I wanted to cry but I held it in. I wanted Maura to see me smiling; she needed to see me smiling. She needed to know that all her sacrifices and all the love she gave me, she did not give in vain.
I leaned in and kissed her lips again. She kissed me back without hesitation and the world fell away. She still loved me; somehow...this woman still loved me. I pulled out of the kiss and her eyes were shining. One tear fell from her eye and one of mine fell in return. For one moment, I forgot the wars of the outside world; I forgot everything that wasn't my angel. My fingers slid through the silk of her hair and she smiled at me, that beautiful smile that had taken my heart the very first time I ever saw it. Even still, even now, even as my son needed us both so badly, it was that smile that gave me strength.
"You're the greatest woman I have ever known. You saved me from myself, saved our daughter, gave me hope when I saw only darkness and I will always love you. I will always be grateful to you. You're the reason I breathe and you are not alone anymore Angel. I'm here...I'm right here with you. I'm not weak anymore and I will fight with you. We are going to do this together; we are going to show Tommy that this is his safe place. He's gonna know that Maddy and Mommy will be there for him, love him and make a home for him where he feels safe and happy. When breakfast is over, you and I and James will sit down and we'll figure out what we have to do. I know there is nothing we won't do to save our son. That's why I'm not afraid, that's why I'm not crying, because I know I have nothing to worry about. I could not have picked a better Maddy for my babies or a better lover for my bed. I'm yours forever." I whispered against Maura's lips.
Maura closed her eyes for a few brief moments. I saw her take a deep breath.
"Are you really with me forever, Janie?" Maura said so softly I could barely hear her even though her lips were brushing against mine.
Her eyes shined with desperation, hope, and even fear. She looked so vulnerable and innocent like her heart was truly in my hands. I took her hand in mine and brought her fingers to my lips. I gave them the softest kiss and let my lips linger there.
"Yes baby. I could never and will never leave you." I said with a voice shaky and painful in my throat.
I looked at her through eyes blurry with tears. Even as my son lay in her arms beaten and bruised, even as the day promised to be a battle to save Tommy, even as tired, drained, and exhausted as we both were I could feel nothing more in my heart than joy and happiness. Even through my pain, I had always loved her, I would always love her.
Maura's chin quivered and she looked back down at our son. Tears rolled from her cheeks and landed in his hair. I kissed her fingers again when she started to speak.
"If I ever lost you Janie, if you left me and took our babies...my little boy and my little girl..." Maura kissed Tommy's face again and more tears fell from her eyes. "You and my children are all I have, you're all I dream of, you're all the reason I live and breathe. If you took my babies from me, if you left, I would have nothing else to live for, it would kill me. You are my heart and my home, you and our children."
Maura never looked up at me as she spoke. She just looked at our son's face as she tangled her fingers in his hair. I kissed her fingers and tried to kiss her lips, but it's as if her mind had wandered to some cold, lonely, desolate place. I saw her jaw working and her eyes looked sadder than I'd ever seen them. I sat back on my heels and watched her as a shadow crept over her usually cheerful face. Anger rose in me. I would not let the world fill her mind with doubts and fears. Not over that this was truer than even the beating of my heart, the truth that I loved her. I did not think. I did not have to think. I rose to my feet and walked to my dresser. I pulled out what I wanted inside and returned to her side. I lowered myself to my knees again. I held the ring behind my back. Maura looked at me inquisitively. I smiled at her through eyes quickly filling with tears. I just looked at her for a long while. She was so lovely...so gorgeous.
I thought of the first time I ever saw her in her hotel's bar when I was so low with grief and pain I thought nothing more of myself than a whore. I thought of the way she fought for me against Claire Haverty when she knew little more of me than my name. I thought of the way she fought for Angela and saved her life when she'd never even seen her face. I thought of the first time she brought me to her apartment in the city and the way I felt when I fell asleep in her arms. Even though I barely knew her then she made me feel safe for the first time in five years. I thought of the smile on her face when she gave me Franklin Thomas just so I wouldn't be alone at night while she was gone. I thought of the first time she kissed me, it felt like I was drowning because I could barely breathe. I thought of the first time she held our daughter in her arms and the look on her face as she fell in love with Angela. I thought of the day we brought Angela home and how proud Maura was to show her off to everyone we met on the way to the apartment. I thought of the first time we made love and she literally blew my mind over and over again. I thought of the way she looked at me, even after I was raped. She looked at me that same way now as she did every moment she cared for me in my darkness and my pain. She looked at me like I was beautiful, like she loved me, like she loved only me.
I thought of the cold, dark apartment where I used to live. I thought of going without food for myself so I could feed my child. I thought of the sad little cake I made Angela for her first birthday. The second hand toys I bought and the tears I cried because I could do no better for her. I thought of my broken heart I felt over the love for my child and the hatred for myself that I was not enough for her. I thought of the choice I made to sell my body because I had nothing more to offer the world and no other way to feed my child. And then there was Maura. She took me as I was, never looked at me like I was nothing, treated me better than I ever treated myself, and loved me more than I ever imagined possible. As I looked at Maura I thought of everything. So heavy was the weight of my love and my emotions that I doubled over as I kneeled beside her. My chest burned and heaved; I felt my heart racing. I realized at one point I was crying, crying from the depths of me. The power of all I felt for Maura was more than my heart or my mind could handle in this moment. Maura rose to her feet and lay Tommy in our bed. She kneeled on the floor in front of me and pulled me up. I must have looked an awful mess. I was crying so hard my nose was running, I could barely see, and I was hiccupping my sobs were so ferocious. I tried to hide my face from Maura, but she held me still. I felt her warm hands on my cheeks. She kissed my lips as best she could through my tears. She brushed my hair from my face and nuzzled her lips against my ear pulling me into a tight embrace.
"Let it out baby. You can cry. I'm here...I'm right here." She whispered in my ear.
"I'll n-never leave you Maura. I love you...I love you...I love you," I said in great gasping breaths. I wanted so desperately to calm myself down enough to talk but the tighter Maura held me and the more she kissed my neck and my face and whispered how beautiful I was to her in my ear the more I fell apart.
"It's ok Princess. I love you too; you know I love you too." Maura said as she rocked me in her arms.
"No...I need you to hear me...I need to say this." I said pulling back and looking at Maura who just smiled at me.
"What is it baby?" She asked as she ran a finger under my jaw and kissed my lips.
When our lips touched it was like fire and calm ran all through my body. I whimpered softly in the kiss and my eyes closed. Truly if there were a heaven I was in that place. I felt Maura's body shudder before she pulled slowly from the kiss.
"Marry me," I whispered right at the moment when our lips parted.
The words just tumbled out of my mouth without a thought. I could not have been more certain about any one thing as I was that I was and would always be Maura's forever. She-was-my-everything Maura's body froze. Her lips hovered just before mine, I could feel the warmth of her body and her sweet breath across my face but she did not move and she did not speak. When I dared to look up into her eyes they looked deeper into me than they ever had. Her face was a mask; her eyes blazed a crimson color I'd never seen. We did not speak or move and we just stared at each other. The first rays of the rising sun cast a soft glow of pink and orange colors through our bedroom windows. Maura's hair seemed to shine like gold in the gentle light of dawn. I could hear birds singing in the trees outside. I could hear the tinkle of the wind chimes. I could hear the honking of the ducks in the pond. I could hear the rustling of leaves as squirrels played in the trees. But the air around me was intensely still and silent. I thought perhaps she did not hear me by her silence. But I knew she had, I could see it in her eyes. I slowly pulled the ring from behind my back and held it in my hands between us. I opened the box and smiled at the pretty three stone ring. They were not huge diamonds by any means, but they sparkled like her eyes and the band was a light rose gold ornately designed and unique. I bought it will all the money I had that was my own and I picked it out just for her. I looked up at Maura. I held my breath. I suddenly grew so nervous my palms were sweating and I thought I might vomit. Maura still hadn't moved but as I looked closer I saw the tears streaming from her eyes as she looked down at the ring.
"I bought it with my own money Maura. Your mom sold all my stuff for me from my old place and I spent all of it on this ring. I liked the rose gold band and the way they spun the gold into flowers around the diamonds. It was the only ring like it and I went to like eight different places but when I saw this one...I wanted you to have it...I want you to be mine. I know it's not big and everything and I know you could have someone that could give you huge diamonds and make you happier but... I'm sorry Maura… I couldn't wait and…"
"It's beautiful Janie...it's so, so beautiful." Maura whispered.
She covered her mouth with her shaking hand as she cried. My heart soared. I smiled at her through my tears.
"When I say I want forever with you, I've never meant anything more. I promise Maura Isles to love you, honor you, respect you, stand by you, to follow wherever you lead, to be faithful in all that I do, to never betray you, to raise our son and our daughter and give you as many more children as we decide to have. I promise to consider you above all others, to make love to you as often as you'll have me, to make your home beautiful and full of laughter, to bring you joy and happiness until my dying day. I vow all these things, I will be anything and everything you need, want, or desire, I swear I am yours in spirit and truth forever if you will have me. I will never, ever let you go wanting again; I promise...I promise Maura...will you marry me..." I said but before I could complete my thought her lips were on mine and I was on my back.
She could barely kiss me through her tears and I was so surprised it took my mind a second to catch up to what was going on. I tried to hold onto Maura but her body was shaking uncontrollably and our kisses were sloppy through all her tears. She kept whimpering and saying things but I couldn't understand her, I don't know if she was talking in a different language or just wasn't making any sense. I just smiled and giggled as she kissed me all over my face and neck.
"Maura... Honey…" I gasped when I felt Maura's hand running up the inside of my thigh.
"Oh Jesus sweetheart calm down," I shuddered and pulled Maura's hand from between my legs.
Maura's eyes were on fire all of a sudden. Her gaze struck me like lightening. She tore at my night gown. I squealed and slapped at her hands.
"Baby stop, the boy is sleeping two feet from us." I sighed.
Maura pouted.
"You promised you'd make love to me whenever I wanted." Maura said looking down at me with raised eye brows and a decided grump on her face.
I didn't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes. The woman's mood changed like the seasons in an instant.
"When we are married and I am your wife you may have me as you like. You haven't given me an answer." I spat back at Maura raising my own eye brows at her. I dangled the ring in front of her and smiled sweetly.
Maura's eyes ran all over my body. I noticed my night gown was pushed up around my waist and certain parts of me were clearly exposed. Maura grinned from ear to ear.
I knew that look. "Oh my God, Maura…" I said trying to pull down the hem of my night gown but before I knew it I was pulled to my feet and dragged down the hallway to Maura's office.
"Baby slow down...where are we going? You haven't given me an answer...what's happening right now?" I whispered to Maura.
Maura pulled me into her office, closed the door behind us, and was on her knees fumbling with the lock on her safe. She didn't speak or answer my question. Her hands were shaking so badly she could barely work the combination lock. As far as I knew all Maura ever kept in her safe were important papers and stacks of money. I didn't understand what was going on.
"You don't have to pay me to be your wife Maura, just say yes and I'll do it for free." I teased her.
Maura looked up at me for a moment. I thought she was angry with me, and then she just looked very sad.
"I love you Jane Rizzoli," She said softly.
Her eyes were shining with sincerity.
"I know you do baby, so say yes." I pleaded with her.
Maura just smiled and tried to open the safe but it wouldn't budge.
"Come on damn you!" Maura said slamming her fist on top of the safe making a great banging noise.
"Maura what the hell is wrong with you? You're going to wake up the whole house calm down." I hissed at her.
I was growing more and more confused about what the fuck was going on and why on earth she was acting so strangely. Maura was muttering to herself and cursing at the safe as she fumbled with the combination lock again. She tried to pull the safe open again but still it would not budge. Maura cursed so loudly I thought everyone in the house could probably hear her. She picked up a stapler from her desk and started banging on the top of the safe like a crazy person.
"Maura!" I wailed at her snatching the stapler from her hands. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I was hissing and spitting at her wide eyed and panicked. Maura was crazily trying to unlock the safe. She was nearly hysterical. I kneeled next to her and tried to take her hands but she slapped them away.
"Owww, what the hell Maura you're being ridiculous right now. You're gonna wake up everybody in the house." I yelled.
Finally the safe door swung open and Maura cackled with excitement. She grabbed something from inside the safe and presented it to me. It was my turn to be frozen in shock. I blinked a million times trying to make sure what I was seeing wasn't a mirage. I was truly and literally speechless. Staring up at me was a ring more beautiful than any I'd ever seen. The diamonds were huge as big as marbles. I couldn't take my eyes off the thing, I felt my jaw hanging open and my face scrunched up in disbelief. Maura took my shaking hand and smiled at me.
"You are the love of my life. You are the sun that rises and the moon that shines at night. You are all I dream of and the mother of my children. Every morning I wake beside you I thank God he brought me to you. When you are in my arms there is no place I'd rather be, you are my home and my sanctuary." Maura's voice broke and her eyes filled with tears.
She kissed my hand and touched my face. It was as if my mind had gone blank. All I could hear was the ringing in my ears from the blood rushing in my veins and Maura's sweet, soft words. I looked at her and knew the tears that fell from her eyes were those of joy, happiness, hope, and the love she had only for me. She leaned her forehead against mine and brushed my lips lightly with her fingers. I could not speak, I tried but only whimpers came out. She kissed me and I was floating.
"I promise Jane Clementine Rizzoli to love and honor you for all of my days, to care for you, provide for you, to devote my life to making sure you and our children want for nothing. I promise to listen to you when you challenge me, to consider you above all others, to respect you, to stand by you, to never lead you astray. I promise to provide this family and whatever children we may have in the future with all the opportunities I possibly can. I promise you protection. I promise you sanctuary in my arms. I promise you I will fight so that you never cry again and if I fail you in that my shoulder will always be there for you to lay your head. I promise to defend you against any enemy, to cherish you and all the exquisiteness you are and make of my home. I promise to be faithful to you always, forsaking all others. I promise to be yours in spirit and truth, love and devotion, now and forever I will be yours. Will you marry me?" Maura said with a voice trembling with emotion.
By the time she was finished talking her eyes were sparkling like the diamonds of the ring she held out to me. She looked so hopeful, her face was so bright and cheerful I couldn't help but to smile at her. I tried to speak but I could find no words. All the dreams I'd ever had of this moment could not compare to what I felt. It felt as though my heart would explode I was so overcome. Maura did want me, forever. Her heart was mine and my heart was hers. I ran my fingers through her beautiful golden hair; the tears I cried were painful but unstoppable. I only managed to nod as tears poured from my eyes again. The smile Maura gave me was pure sunshine. She slipped the ring on my finger, her hands were shaking as badly as mine, but the ring fit perfectly. I slipped my ring on her finger and Maura's tears fell onto both our hands, but her ring fit perfectly. I breathed a sigh of relief, for the first time in five years...I was truly not alone. A peace engulfed my mind and body and all pain fell away. Even though I was crying, I'd never been so happy. Maura took my face in her hands and brushed her lips against mine.
"My princess...my wife," She whispered to me.
"My angel...my wife," I whispered back.
We kissed for what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, I did not know and it did not matter. That kiss, every kiss, was ours forever. She lay me down on the cool hardwood floor of her office. She covered my body with hers. She pulled off my night gown and gasped when she saw my body beneath her. Her tears dotted my warm flesh. She ran her fingers over my skin touching every part of me followed by the softest kiss of her trembling lips. I gasped and moaned as she kissed me. I felt her hair flowing over my body and sighed. I closed my eyes and absorbed her warmth. I held the back of her head and my body rolled and shuddered as her tongue teased my belly button and trailed down my abdomen. She caressed my breasts and kissed my thighs. She kissed my legs all the way down to my feet and I squealed when she kissed my toes slipping them into her mouth and grinning at me.
"Gross Maura. Ewwww!" I giggled and tried to pull away but she held me still.
"I love every part of you...all the way down to your tippy toes," She cooed at me between circling her tongue between my toes again.
I squirmed and whimpered, but I could not deny the arousal building in my body. I ran my other foot up her leg and cried out when she pulled her robe away from her body and all I could see was her glowing softly tanned skin and her beautiful breasts and her hard pink nipples. The light of the rising sun seemed to make her body radiate beauty. I ran my finger tips down her chest and felt myself come alive with hunger, desire, and happiness. It felt like my fingers on her flesh made sparks of electricity run up my arms and all through my body. Maura shuddered every time I touched her. She grabbed my thighs and pulled me into her. She spread my legs and settled herself between them. I closed my eyes and ran my hands down her back as she took my breast in her mouth. I cupped her ass in my hands and grinned. I felt her shaking on top of me.
"I love you Janie." She whispered in my ear as I felt her hand move between my legs.
I cried out in bliss. I cupped her breasts in my hands and squeezed her nipples. Maura let out a low, guttural, hungry growl in my ear. We kissed and kissed and kissed. I savored her body, every ripple of her muscles, every hair on her head, and every whisper in my ear. The fire between my legs was like nothing I ever felt. Every time she kissed me I thought I would explode and I felt my thighs moisten even further. Maura teased my clit, smiled down at me nipping my lips and moaning at me at how wet I was but she never moved to relieve me of my mounting hunger. I squirmed and cried out to her, I begged her to take me but she would only kiss me and whisper sweet words in my ear as my body went crazy beneath her.
"Please Maura," I begged her. I felt my eyes burning with desperation. "I'll make you happy; I'll be a wonderful wife to you always. Please make love to me baby...I'll make you happy."
Maura just smiled at me. She kissed my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, my lips, my chin, my neck, my chest...everything.
"You already make me happy princess," She said in that low deep voice that made me crazy.
She pushed her thigh against my throbbing wet vagina. She pulled me down into her by my shoulders and I screamed in pleasure. I bit my lip as she moved her thigh between my legs. I whimpered and grabbed her around the waist pushing my body against her leg harder.
"Oh GOD that feels so good," I said in a shaking unsteady voice.
Maura nipped at my lips and managed to spread my legs wider. I moaned and rolled my hips into her. Maura's voice was so deep and sexy and I sounded like a screaming, crying, mess but the smile on her face as she slowly started to slide her leg through my vagina over and over was devilish and knowing. I felt myself soaking her thigh. I could hear the soft, squishing sounds her leg between mine made as my ecstasy flowed out of me and all over her. I squealed, cried, and squirmed but Maura held me still with a strength she only showed when we were together this way. Every time she pushed her leg against me I moaned in my raspy desperate voice. Louder and louder my cries grew. Maura took her time. Her hips moved on top of me as her leg worked. I could feel the muscles in her thighs trembling against my clit. Her movements were slow and methodical but every move she made served only one purpose and that was to please me. Maura knew every inch of my body and knew exactly what to say to make me crazy. I wrapped my hand in her hair and dug my nails into her ass. Maura cried out, her body tensed on top of me. She looked down at me with burning eyes.
"Please baby... Please don't stop." I pleaded with her.
Maura grinned at me slyly.
"I'm never going to stop." Maura said pulling my left hand from her ass and smiling down at her ring on my finger. "I'm never going to stop." She said again softly before she kissed the ring and kissed me again.
The kiss took my breath away.
"You better not," I said narrowing my eyes at her playfully and digging my nails in her ass again.
Maura's eyes caught fire again and she pulled me up and into her arms. I squealed and wrapped my legs around her waist as she twirled me in a circle. Maura's smile was beautiful as she held me in her arms. The morning sun caught her golden curls in its soft light. It was a whole new day in a whole new world that Maura and I had made together and would share ourselves this way with each other forever. I stretched out my arms and closed my eyes as Maura spun me around. I felt like I was truly flying, like I was dancing in the clouds, like there was nothing and no one that could bring me down from this place. I had Maura and she would always love me...I knew it...I knew it...I knew it.
Maura sat down in her office chair and I straddled her. She pulled me into another kiss and shifted our bodies so her thigh was between legs again. This time I felt her fingers against my clit along with her leg.
"Oh GOD," I cried.
Maura curled her fingers against my clit and my body erupted in sexual arousal all over again. She took my nipple in her mouth and circled it with her tongue. I shut my eyes tightly. I felt my breath come faster and faster between my pursed lips. I rolled my hips and my sex against Maura's leg. Maura's fingers circled my clit slowly, her hand was soaking wet. My entire body shuddered.
"Baby," I moaned.
Maura's eyes were almost a clear hazel in the morning sun but I didn't miss the hunger in them. She ran her nails down my stomach and bit her lip as she looked up at me straddling her and grinding my hips against her leg and fingers.
"My pretty princess... My pretty wife," She said breathily at me with low heavy eyes.
"My angel... My wife," I responded to her in kind.
Maura smiled when I called her my wife. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her body.
"Ride me sweet heart," She whispered in my ear. "Ride me like you're mine."
I felt her fingers pick up their pace between my legs. I gasped and grabbed her desk behind me. My back arched and I planted my feet. I started grinding against her slowly; my whole body rolled and shook. Maura's leg was pulsating against my sex but she gritted her teeth and held it as still as she could. I felt my insides going crazy, my stomach muscles clenched and convulsed. My sex throbbed and leaked all over her. My heart was racing. My skin exploded in goose bumps and sweat. I rode Maura faster, as hard as I dared. The fire in me was painful, my body screamed in pleasure. Maura looked up at me eyes ablaze and her expression stone but so, so sexy. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. Her fingers were moving between my legs with lightening speed as I rode her faster and faster. My pleasure exploded out of me and all over her when she bit my nipple. My back arched so hard I fell back into her crying and stuttering and gasping for breath. She laid me on the floor and I had my way with her, but this time it was sweet, slow, and beautiful. Our eyes held each other's gaze as she gave herself to me. Her every moan, every shudder, every tear that rolled from her eyes and every whisper against my lips was passion, splendor, and meant only for me. I relished in the truth that her body was mine, my temple, and no other being would ever know her this way. Her body was magnificent, truly one of an angel, and every time her body rolled in bliss it brought tears to my eyes. As I drove her further and further toward her pleasure she cried sweet but sometimes dirty things in my ear. I licked the salt of her sweaty skin and felt her muscles tremble beneath my lips. She wrapped her hands in my hair, spread her legs for me, and begged me to do all manner of things to her. I did all that she asked and she surrendered herself to me. When her climax came she held me against her so tightly I nearly lost my breath. When she cried my name out, there were tears in her eyes. She cradled my face in her hands and I caught sight of the glittering ring on her finger and smiled. We made love for what felt like forever careless of the outside world. Our worlds collided in frenzy and we only knew each other. I let her ravish me in all the ways she wanted and cried every time my orgasms came. I came so hard one time I blacked out for a few seconds and I thought I might die from the ecstasy in my body and the love in my heart. I lay whimpering and crying on the office floor hardly able to catch my breath. Maura panted and squirmed on top of me trembling from the throes of passion. I loved it when she wiggled on top of me naked. We did not speak at all. We just lay with each other lost in thoughts and dreams that were now living breathing things. Maura was my dream and she was mine. I smiled every time I saw her ring on my finger. I thumbed it and kissed it over and over again. Maura stared down at me running her fingers in my hair. She noticed me playing with my ring and her smile was telling. I blushed and turned my head. Maura caught my chin and made me look at her.
"You don't have to hide that pretty smile from me princess, you're my bride...I always want to see your smile." She whispered to me.
I just wrapped my arms around her neck and took her lips with mine. Her warm body over me made me shudder. I felt safe, happy, and home. Maura lifted me into her arms and carried me back to our bedroom laying me gently on the bed. She covered me with blankets and kissed me sweetly. She pulled our son back into her arms and sat with him in the rocking chair again. I could see her ring shining on her finger as she brushed his cheeks. Maura sat back and looked at me as she rocked our son.
"He and Angela really are my children now," Maura said softly.
"Baby...they've always been yours." I said honestly.
Maura smiled back but I knew she was thinking hard about something. Her smile, while genuine, was slightly forced. She looked back down at our son and kissed his face.
"He's never going back to that place Jane. I don't care what it takes or who I have to squash he's never going back to that place. My son is staying right here in this home where he belongs." Maura's voice was laced with ferocity and her eyes blazed like fire.
I found it in myself to smile.
"I know angel...I know."
...
James
"Who's that screaming, Daddy? Is Ms. Maura getting hurt?" My son Francis asked as he climbed into the bed with his brother behind him.
I sat up quickly and pulled my son's heads against my chest covering their ears. I looked over at Molly holding our daughter. I knew my eyes were wide and my expression must have been gape jawed terror. Molly just rolled her eyes and turned her head. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was trying to hide a smile. I'd woken up over an hour ago sitting straight up in bed and scared someone had broken into the house and was killing Maura and Jane. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the bat it the corner thinking we were under attack until Molly grabbed my arm and started laughing. I looked at her incredulously.
"Honey, relax." Molly said trying to pull me back in bed.
"What the fuck is all that noise?" I asked her.
Molly just raised her eye brows at me and grinned mischievously. I was confused until I realized very quickly what all the screaming was about. That's when my jaw dropped.
"Jesus CHRIST!" I exclaimed.
I looked over at the clock and shook my head.
"It's five fucking thirty in the morning," I wailed. "Didn't they just do it last night?"
Molly giggled.
"They're in love James. I think it's sweet and beautiful." My wife said.
"Don't they ever get tired," I wailed. "They're like little sex engines...it just keeps GOING!"
"Women aren't like men, James. They don't need a recovery period. It's so sweet that Maura makes Jane feel safe enough to have sex again after everything they've been through. They're such a good couple. It's precious." Molly said cheerily.
I looked at her like she was crazy.
"It's nice that they have sex but good grief, do we all have to hear it? And the things they're saying...excuse me screaming don't sound all that precious to me," I huffed.
Molly rolled her eyes.
"I know something you don't know." Molly said with a sly grin.
"What's that, Maura and Jane have a sex swing in their bedroom?" I chuckled.
"No!" Molly spat at me before her grin returned to her face. "Maura is going to ask Jane to marry her. She asked me to be a bride's maid."
Molly clapped her hands and was bristling with excitement.
"NO way." I said.
"YES way. She showed me the ring and everything. It's huge and so pretty and I can't wait to be her bride's maid. Their wedding is going to be amazing. I bet half of New York will be there, the social event of the season. Can you imagine the engagement and the bachelorette parties and the wedding reception? I cannot wait!" Molly was vibrating with glee. I was far less enthusiastic; the last thing on my mind was parties and receptions.
"They're getting married? Oh God just when I thought I was going to get a break. Do you know how much paper work is involved in all this? I will have to draw up Prenups and adoption papers for Tommy and Angela. Trusts for Tommy, I know Maura is going to want Jane's name on everything, the house, the cars, the accounts, the 401 k's, the investment funds, the IRA's. She's gonna probably want to change her will too. Oh sweet Lord this is going to be a nightmare." I sighed.
"James," Molly said my name in that way that meant I was in trouble if I kept on talking. "You will not ruin this for them. You are Maura's attorney but you are also her friend and you will be happy for them."
"Oh I'm happy for them. They're happy too by the sound of it." I grumbled.
Molly thinned her lips at me and frowned.
"And for the record I doubt there will be a prenuptial agreement. It doesn't sound like Jane's going anywhere," Molly chuckled.
"I'll have to talk to Maura about that. She needs one. She's worth a ridiculous amount of money, she needs a prenup. I'll talk to her about it before we head back to the city. That is if they ever stop FUCKING!" I sighed.
"Don't rain on her parade, James." Molly warned me.
"I'm not; it's my job as her attorney to protect her." I insisted.
"It's your job as her friend to support any decision she makes. You supported her getting together with Jane what's changed?"
"Nothing...and I didn't exactly support this from the start but Jane grew on me." I said honestly. I was quiet as I thought a while. "Jane is very sweet to Maura."
"I know...she's never hurt Maura and she makes Maura happy. Maura's much different than the controlling hideous bitch she used to be." Molly smiled.
"Yes she is." I was forced to admit. "I can hear how much Jane makes her happy." I rolled my eyes as another wave of Maura's screams bombarded my ears.
I sighed and shook my head. I was so tired I could have dropped dead. I was quickly thinking it would have been best to drive home yesterday and I would have done just that if I knew Maura and Jane's house was little better than the bunny ranch. Molly and I stayed awake half the night last night listening to Jane and Maura 'getting along'. I was so freaked out I wanted to go sleep in the car but Molly wouldn't let me. I just had to lie there, wide-eyed and disturbed. I never knew Maura was capable of saying some of the things I heard her scream last night. I never wanted to know Maura ever said that kind of stuff...ever. Worse their room was way on the other side of the house but I could hear everything and it just kept happening over and over and over like raunchy porn on replay. Maura was my friend and so was Jane but more than that Maura was my boss and Jane was her girlfriend and while I knew they 'got it on' I damn sure didn't want front row seats to the sounds of their late night freak fest. I would rather go deaf. How could I ever face Maura again and sit across from her in meetings and shit and not think about all the noise she made. Maura had always been so proper, and prim, almost icy in the past and while it was irritating sometimes I found I preferred seeing her as the ice queen verses...a sex monster. The absolutely worst part was that Molly seemed to be far less averse to the goings on in Maura's bedroom than I was. She actually tried to get it on with me in the middle of it all and I jumped out of bed so fast I fell and bumped my head against the dresser. There was no way I could get it up with the sounds of my boss fucking her girlfriend in the back ground. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it wasn't happening and it freaked me out worse that my wife seemed to be turned on by the whole thing. Molly pouted all the rest of the night and complained all about how we used to be like that. It was the last thing I wanted to hear on top of hearing all of Jane and Maura's noise. When they finally stopped I rolled over and went to sleep cursing Maura in my head for forcing me to listen to her and now my wife was mad at me because I wasn't 'romantic' enough. I thought at least I'd get a few hours of good sleep before I had to deal with sitting at the same breakfast table as the little love birds and pretend I hadn't heard exactly what I had. But that wasn't the case. They were at it again...again and had woken up everyone in the house.
"It's ok boys. Ms. Maura is just...ummm...she's...ummm." I looked over at Molly begging for help.
I had no earthly idea what in the hell I was supposed to say. Molly just smiled and lay Juliette in a bassinette before crawling back in bed with me and the boys.
"Ms. Maura is very happy right now boys. When two grown-ups make each other very happy the way Ms. Jane and Ms. Maura make each other happy, they express their happiness in certain ways that can sometimes be a bit noisy. But we won't mention it when we go down to breakfast. It's private between the two of them ok?" Molly said.
Francis, my oldest boy, pulled out of my arms and scrunched up his face.
"But what are they doing? I get in trouble if I scream in the house, how come you're not mad at them?" He asked quizzically.
"I am," I mumbled.
Molly nudged me in the ribs.
"They are adults and this is their home and they can scream if they want to," Molly stated boldly.
"Are they having sex?" My younger son Joseph asked.
I choked on my spit. Joseph looked at us with wide, curious, innocent eyes.
"What would make you say that honey?" Molly asked.
"You sound like that at night too Mommy," Francis said.
Both Molly and I were shocked this time. We looked at each other wide-eyed before I grabbed the remote, found some cartoons, and turned up the volume as loudly as we could stand it. I gnashed my teeth and wished to God this was all just a bad dream. By the time Maura and Jane's escapades were over it was after nine in the morning and my stomach was grumbling for food. I cracked the door of the bedroom in Maura's ridiculously huge house and peeked outside making sure there wasn't anything unseemly going on in the hallways. The smell of bacon and eggs hit my nose and my mouth began to water.
"Ok guys, I think it's safe to go down for breakfast." I sighed in relief.
My family trooped downstairs in our pajamas heading toward the smell of Consuela's delicious cooking.
"Oh Mr. James you look like you no sleep last night," Consuela said in greeting.
"I didn't," I huffed sitting down heavily in a chair.
Consuela dumped a load of scrambled eggs on my plate and I tore into them greedily. Consuela didn't look any better than I did I noticed and her face was even more pinched and strained than usual.
"How did you sleep?" I asked her slyly.
Consuela just pursed her lips.
"I sleep just fine," She said curtly before turning away.
I swear I heard her grumbling something about sexing and screaming as she walked away. I stifled a chuckle. Angela squealed in her high chair and shoved eggs in her mouth with her hands. I noticed she was dressed and cheery this morning, but there was no sign of Jane or Maura. I assumed Consuela had dressed the girl and hopefully saved her from all her mother's noise last night. Everyone was well into their orange juice and coffee when Jane and Maura finally walked into the kitchen looking exhausted but glowing from the inside out. Maura was holding Tommy in her arms. Somehow he looked better rested than everyone else despite the fact that his bedroom was closer to Jane and Maura's than anyone else's. Jane looked dazed and unsteady. She sat carefully in her chair at one end of the table. She looked at me and I tried to smile, but she blushed and turned her head.
"Good morning everyone," Maura said politely.
"Good morning," We all mumbled in return.
Angela squealed when she saw Jane and Maura.
"Maddy," Angela said cheerily with eggs all over her face.
Maura smiled at her daughter and brushed her face clean with a towel before leaning down and kissing her daughter.
"Good morning sweet girl, did you sleep well last night?" Maura said softly and kissing Angela all over the face.
"Probably not," I mumbled under my breath and felt my wife kick me beneath the table.
Maura raised her eye brows at me and I fell silent lowering my head to my plate and focusing on my food. Maura turned back to her daughter and continued to tease and play with her. Angela kicked her feet in her high chair and giggled up at Maura. Jane's smile widened as she watched Maura with Angela. Usually Maura sat at the other end of the huge dining table opposite Jane but this morning she took a seat right next to Jane. Maura never let go of the boy who seemed quiet this morning. Tommy laid his head against Maura's chest and never spoke and never lifted his eyes. Jane looked sad sometimes when she would look at him. She would touch his face or brush his curls from his eyes and he would smile at her, but still he never spoke.
The breakfast table was noisy and boisterous between my boys, squealing Angela, random declarations from Consuela of how everyone was too thin and needed to eat more and chatty Molly. Jane seemed to be in a particularly good mood and spent the meal teasing me, talking with Molly or trading barbs with Consuela. Maura didn't talk much. She seemed to have something on her mind and she refused to let go of her son. Tommy ate his eggs and bacon in her lap only after Maura pleaded with him to eat. I was sitting on Maura's other side and sometimes I could hear what she was saying to him. No one else seemed to notice anything was off except Consuela who kept casting sideways glances at Maura and Tommy. Jane seemed to be determined to keep the conversation light and pleasant. I was wondering if she was trying to cover up for something else, something that had to do with the boy. I wouldn't have paid it a whole lot of attention except for the very stern, chilly glances Maura kept giving me from time to time. I wouldn't have paid those any attention either, I was used to Maura's cold ways, but for some reason this was different. She would hardly talk to me though she was pleasant with everyone else. When I tried to engage her in conversation her responses were limited and always followed a particularly unpleasant expression. After about the fifth time of this happening I just gave up. I didn't know what was wrong with her and I didn't want her to explode on me in front of my wife and children. The sounds of her endeavors with Jane last night and this morning were quickly fading from my mind and being replaced with memories of instances when I had done something to displease her. I felt my insides writhing by the time breakfast came to a close.
"Well we should be going home now," I said as I drained my last bit of coffee. "Jane and Maura you have a beautiful home and you are wonderful hostesses. It's been a pleasure staying with you but I'll leave you and your house in peace now." I said rising from the table but Maura grabbed my arm and pulled me back down into my seat with a strength I didn't know she had.
I sat down heavily. I looked at her wide eyed and incredulous.
"You're not going anywhere," Maura said.
Her face wore a smile, but it was the smile of an assassin before the bullet entered a victim's skull. Her voice was sweet, almost melodious, but I heard the malice and the threat. The whole room went silent for a moment. Jane's eyes went wide and she reached over and put her hand on Maura's arm gently.
"Sweetheart, not now ok. It's ok look at me," Jane whispered to Maura.
Maura hadn't stopped staring at me in that way that made my blood run cold but when she heard Jane's voice she closed her eyes and sighed heavily. When she opened them she looked down at Tommy in her lap and seemed ashamed for a moment. Jane moved to fill in the silence.
"Molly we were hoping that you and Consuela could take the children to the fair in town. Gerald Ingles and Author Bennington will go with you to help you with the kids. You remember them from Boston I'm sure. Maura and I need James; we have business to discuss with him." Jane said smiling at Molly and moved to brush her hair behind her ear. That's when Molly screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" Molly screamed so loudly it startled the children. "You're wearing it...you said yes...OH MY GOOOOOODDDD!"
Molly bounced from her seat and ran over to Jane grabbing her left hand and holding it up for everyone to see.
"AHHHH you're getting MARRIED! AHHHHH!" Molly screeched.
Jane looked like she didn't know what to say. She was looking at Molly like she was crazy, but still I saw the blush creep into her face and the smile she boasted. I felt my jaw drop as I looked at Jane's hand that Molly was waving around none to gently. I was halfway across the table but I could see the diamonds as clear as day. Molly was right, they were huge.
"Oh Dios Mio!" Consuela gasped.
She dropped her serving dish of eggs on the floor in shock much to Franklin Thomas' delight.
"El GRANDE!" Consuela said snatching Jane's hand from Molly's grip. "EL GRANDE!"
"OH my gosh. Oh my gosh. When did you do it Maura...how did you do it? Oh my gosh, you guys are getting married. It's so sweet." Molly looked between Jane and Maura and tears welled up in her eyes.
Maura blushed hard but she smiled up at Molly proudly.
"Jane asked me first," She said holding up her own ring finger to show Molly.
Molly's jaw dropped all the way to the floor. This time there were tears running down her cheeks. Molly took Maura's hand and ran her thumb over the ring.
"It's so pretty Maura. Oh my God you two are so beautiful together." Molly said bursting into tears and wrapping Jane in a tight hug.
Consuela bumped Molly out of her way with her hip.
"You move...I see ring now," Consuela said snatching up Maura's hand and gasping again.
"It very pretty," Consuela said like she was shocked then she narrowed her eyes at Jane.
"You pick ring by yourself?" Consuela asked like she couldn't believe it.
"Yes Consuela I picked it myself and bought it with my own money," Jane frowned at her.
"I not know you have good taste," Consuela cackled at Jane before turning to study Maura's ring again.
"I picked Maura, so I must have excellent taste," Jane spat back at her.
Maura just smiled and leaned in to kiss Jane. It was a long lingering kiss. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I prayed they didn't go back upstairs to continue on in their little celebration fuck festival.
"I love the ring," Maura cooed at Jane who bristled with pride.
"I love you," Jane whispered before kissing Maura again.
This time I thought they might not make it upstairs at all before the 'noise' started again.
"I'm happy for you guys," I said a little more loudly than necessary but I needed them to stop all the smooching before it got out of hand.
Jane broke the kiss and winked at me before Molly started running around the room bellowing over the color of dresses, venues, cakes, designers, and wedding planners and on and on. Maura had the grace to smile at my wife's excitement.
"We shall deal with all that in due time Molly. But first Jane and I need to talk to James and I need you to take the kids to the fair." Maura said.
"Oh of course... Of course..." Molly said grabbing the boys and shooing them up the stairs.
Consuela took Angela and sang to her all the way out to the kitchen. I don't think I'd ever seen Consuela look so happy.
"What about Tommy, isn't he going?" I asked as I looked at him still curled in Maura's lap.
Maura looked down at him and brushed his cheek with her thumb.
"Do you want to go to the fair sweet boy?" She asked him softly.
He just looked up at her curiously.
"They have a Batman rollercoaster." Jane piped in.
"Batman?" Tommy said sitting up.
"Yup, and you can ride it as many times as you like if you go." Jane said smiling at her son.
"I love Batman," Tommy said hopping out of Maura's lap and running upstairs.
Jane followed him and I was left sitting alone with Maura. I looked at her smiling preparing to congratulate her on her engagement when I realized very quickly the ice and stone was back in her face. I felt my own face fall and my words caught in my throat. Maura sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. She was dressed in tight white pants, a loose red and white polka dotted blouse, and tall red heels and they were blood red...like her eyes. She studied me, her gaze piercing and deep. She tapped her fingers on the kitchen table as she looked at me. I felt my mouth dry out. What the fuck was wrong with her?
"Ummm, I'm happy for you and Jane." I said finally when I couldn't take the eerie silence anymore.
Maura cocked her head to the side but the ice did not break from her expression.
"Thank you. Now let's talk about why you didn't tell me about the abuse of my son." She said.
She pulled some pictures from her back pocket and threw them on the table in front of me. I was confused by what she meant but I felt my stomach drop down to my feet. I immediately felt myself begin to perspire.
"Please don't let it be true," I prayed in my mind.
I knew if it was true I was in a great deal of danger. I knew Tommy's foster farm wasn't Disney World and he was awful thin, but I'd never seen any direct evidence of any abuse that would cause Maura to be as angry as she was. Had I missed something? I gathered the pictures and almost fell out of my chair when I saw them. They were pictures of Tommy...and they were horrible. There were at least a dozen and a half pictures of his body. His back was awful to look upon, it was black and blue. He was so thin I could count every one of his ribs. His eyes in the pictures looked so sad, haunted, and hollow. I felt bile rise in my throat. I felt my palms begin to sweat. I felt my hands trembling more and more as I flipped through each one of the pictures over and over again. I must have flipped through the pictures a dozen times. They made me feel sick and disgusted but I just couldn't stop going through them. Each time I grew more and more angry. How could I have missed this? How did I not see this? How could I not have noticed someone was hurting this boy this badly? I knew he was thin, I knew he was unusual...but this? I kept seeing the faces of my own sons in the pictures, their bodies beaten and bruised. Tears burned my eyes and I felt my jaw tighten in my head. If anyone ever touched my sons this way I would kill them.
I stared at the picture of Tommy's back, the photo shook in my hands. I felt my fist tighten around the picture crumpling it up into a ball. My grip on the picture was so tight I could have turned it to dust. I slammed my fist with the picture in it on the table so hard all the dishes rattled and shook. My chest was heaving and the muscles in my face were working to control the storm of anger I wanted to release. I looked straight at Maura. Her expression was a reflection of my own. Pure rage and determination. We looked at each other that way for a long time. She did not scream, she did not yell, she did not rage at me like she usually did when she was angry. I knew she was furious, perhaps more so than she had ever been, but she was not the same unbalanced Maura anymore. She was completely in control of herself and would do exactly what needed to be done without the show of rage. In the past her vehemence had been frightening to witness, but this Maura, this calm, collected, fire-eyed Maura was even more frightening than I'd ever seen her. I knew what she wanted, I knew she would not tolerate failure, I understood it in the level icy gaze of her blazing eyes. Finally she spoke. Her voice was little more than a whisper, but it thundered in my head.
"Did you know?" She asked, never breaking her gaze.
My eyes seemed locked to hers like magnets. I felt my eyes grow wide in my head.
"NO! Of course I didn't fucking know." I exclaimed.
I wanted to insist on my innocence more but something in Maura's eyes made me realize I was better off remaining silent. I did not dare push her over the edge. Maura leaned forward so our faces were almost touching. The vibes rolling off her were choking me with their poison. I started to lean back to get a breath of fresh air that wasn't filled with Maura's anger but she grabbed the back of my head and yanked me forward. I fell to my knees in front of her. I felt myself filling with fear. I was always a little intimidated by Maura, but this time I was downright horrified. If she did not believe that I didn't know about her son's abuse, I knew full well what she would do to me. Maura could ruin me, destroy my business, have me disbarred, and see to it that my family ate garbage out of the trash cans of the streets of New York if she saw fit to make it so.
"The beatings have been going on for a long time, James. The newest bruises aren't more than two days old...two days." Maura hissed. The color of her pupils was growing deeper and darker with every word she spoke and her grip on my hair tightened mercilessly. "How could you have missed this? HOW COULD YOU FAIL ME!" Maura screamed right in my face. I felt like I had been blasted with a fire hot wave of pure malice.
"Please Maura, I didn't know. If I knew I would have told you, I would have saved him...I swear it, I swear it Maura you know that...I know you know that." I begged her.
My voice was shaking. I felt sweat rolling down my face and a lump form in my throat. I was just as scared for me as I was for whoever had hurt Tommy. There was nothing Maura wouldn't do for her son, or for Jane...nothing and I knew that. I prayed the years of friendship Maura and I had shared together would spare me from her vengeance. Maura was silent as she stared down at me. Her face was stone and her eyes dark and dangerous but I could tell she was considering whether or not to tear me to pieces. She never loosened her steel grip on my hair and my neck hurt like crazy but I dared not complain. I closed my eyes and waited for the final lightening strike. I felt Maura nuzzle her lips in my ear. Her breath was hot; her words were soft but filled with the weight of her conviction.
"I want full custody of my son today James...today. I want to know who hurt him and I want them behind bars today James...today. I want that foster farm shut down and all the children reallocated to appropriate caring homes where they will be fed and taken care of today James...today." Maura whispered in my ear.
Her grip tighten so hard I thought she might pull my hair right out of my scalp. I tried not to whimper in pain.
"It's Sunday Maura..." I started until Maura snapped my head back so violently I did cry out in pain.
I looked up at her with desperate eyes. If I didn't know better I'd say she seemed calm despite the fact that her face was an iron mask. But her grip on my hair let me know just how fucking serious she was. I quickly shut my mouth of all excuses. She didn't want to hear them and I knew if I wanted to keep my full head of hair I better not keep throwing them at her.
"I promised my bride, the mother of my son, that I would handle this. I will not be happy if I'm made to be a liar, you don't want to make me unhappy do you James?" Maura asked me with the sweetness of a poisonous snake.
"No...No," I stuttered.
"Good. When Jane comes back you are going to assure her you can make this happen and you will won't you...or I might remember it was you who let this go on for so long after assuring me the boy was fine...my son James." Maura said through clenched teeth.
I saw something flash behind her eyes that looked like pure malevolence. I gulped.
"Yes ma'am." Was all I said.
