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Jeff waited about an hour for Ryan to cool off and ring his Dad. Although I'm sure that was just an excuse to get away from Nate.
He knocked on Ryan's door and waited. My gaydar is definitely going off with Ryan, but until he's ready to come out to all of us I'm not going to say anything. I wonder if he was bullied for it at his last school?
Jeff's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening slowly. Ryan let the blond in, saying "Hey, Jeff. Sorry about disappearing so quickly. I always found the cafeteria a difficult place at my last school for... uh... certain reasons. I guess I thought Nate was laughing at me. It just made me really uncomfortable. I hope the guys don't think I'm pathetic now."
Jeff was quick to reassure the redhead. "No, no, no! Not at all. They all know what Nate's like. He doesn't have a very good brain to mouth filter sometimes... well, make that most of the time!" He laughed. "Seriously, he's like that with everyone. If you need a brutally honest opinion, go to Nate for it!"
Ryan thought about it for a moment. I trust Jeff that it was just Nate. I don't understand him though, why is he doing this? Is it just to get a rise out of me?
He can't actually like me, can he? No. I've never had any attention that wasn't negative, it's really hard to know how to respond to it. Maybe in just the same way as negative attention - bring out snarky Ryan.
I'll just try to avoid him when I can, but when I can't I'll try to treat it as a joke and deflect it with sarcasm. If I don't let him in then he can't hurt me. It's friends I need right now, not anything else. I just wish he wasn't so damn gorgeous!
Jeff continued. "So, after you left Wes joined us. I asked him if you could audition for the Warblers because the Principal said you were in a glee club at your last school?"
Ryan nodded eagerly. That's just what I need right now, something fun and positive to focus on, just like Megan suggested. I'm sure to make friends that way, too.
The blond Warbler continued "Well, I hope you don't mind the short notice, but Wes said you can audition at the end of the week! Do you have any song you could do in that time?"
Ryan's eyes caught sight of one of his favourite hats, a plain dark trilby. He suddenly remembered the song and dance routine he made up for the first term of his junior year that he never ended up doing because of how the bullying had affected him.
The redhead nodded enthusiastically "Yeah! I know just the song. Thanks for arranging that for me, Jeff. I just need to practice the dance steps. I'd appreciate any feedback if you and Kurt don't mind watching a run through?"
Jeff smiled at Ryan's excitement. "Of course, man, dancing is my area of expertise. I'd love to see it before the others get to. It'll make them insanely jealous!"
After Jeff had left his room to take a call on his mobile from his best friend Nick, which brought out an adorable blush on the blond when he saw the caller ID, Ryan was left alone in his room to think about his audition piece.
I don't think I'll use the hat this time. I want to settle in with this group of boys first before I'll be comfortable bringing out my accessory collection. I don't want to get unwanted negative attention from it. That doesn't mean I can't practice with it though, in fact, there's no time like the present!
Ryan found his iPod and portable speakers dock and scrolled to the karaoke version of Ne-Yo's Let Me Love You and hit play, losing himself in the song.
He left the lyrics alone, no matter how much he wanted to change "girl" to "boy", but he still felt uneasy about coming out straight away, even though he knew the Warblers would understand.
Nate was sitting half way back from the council table at the Warbler meeting. He was now regretting this seating choice as Wes had just announced that Ryan was about to come into the room to audition and the doors were already being opened by one of the Warblers who was going to collect the prospective member.
His eyes were glued in that direction as at last Ryan entered the room. Nate stared at Ryan as he walked to the front, hoping to catch his eye to give him an encouraging wink. He really is good looking, his strong jaw, straight nose, high cheekbones and that hair! It glows an amazing colour when it catches the light and it's so fine I just want to run my hands through it. Hmmm.
Oh my god, my pants are getting tight and he hasn't even opened his mouth yet! Bad thoughts! Don't think about him opening his mouth and... STOP! He mentally slapped himself and crossed his legs, shifting on the leather couch to get more comfortable.
I really hope he is gay and I'm not crushing on an albeit gorgeous but straight guy. Maybe his song choice will give a hint to his sexuality. I can't wait to hear his voice.
As soon as the music started, Ryan transformed from slightly nervous auditonee to confident, sexy performer. Nate couldn't take his eyes away from him, not that he'd want to any way.
Wow. He's good. Nate licked his lips as he watched Ryan's moves. His song choice says straight, but I'm not convinced. There were two of us involved in that staring match before Christmas and he definitely blushed.
Kurt had seen his audition piece twice before the meeting. He smiled and swayed along with the song. I can't help thinking that someone should be singing this song to Ryan, not the other way around. His self esteem seems very low, I wonder what happened to him? I'm just glad he's at Dalton now, this is definitely a place where he can heal.
As Ryan finished, the room broke out into cheers and clapping, which the redhead looked both surprised at and very pleased.
He even managed to control his blush as a now familiar voice yelled over the noise, "I'll let you love me, name the time and place and I'll be there, baby!" Wes glared at Nate, shutting him up.
"Thank you Ryan, please wait outside while we deliberate?"
Barely five minutes later, Jeff was sent to deliver good news. On his way he put his vote in the ballot box, I hope paintballing gets picked, he thought as he left the room.
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