Chapter Sixteen: Quarterback Killer
…
My emotional state was a predicament that must be overcome, lest my whole life be dismantled. Upon telling my only two friends in the whole wide world what had happened and what I intended to pull, I fancied Starrk was literally on the brink of wringing my neck.
"Grimmy, you fucking dragged me back into the team and this is how you repay me? By flying to America? The strength of my kick hasn't diminished all that much, you know. If you don't calm the hell down your nutsack will suffer for it, I swear." He sounded serious.
"Cut it, Starrk." Ulquiorra came to my rescue. He turned to me, "Grimmjow, I hope you understand that there's nothing more important than the next match. So can we all agree to stop moping like a retard?"
In the end I decided, with much counsel from them, to at least graduate from high school here. The terms 'championship' and 'MVP candidate' had to be uttered twice before I placated. Meanwhile, Sousuke, for reasons best known perhaps to himself, did not even consider hiding his satisfaction. If it had been a habit of mine to exaggerate I'd have said he was over the fucking moon with joy. All this was happening while Ichigo went on to be a reminder of some emotional void I so craved to fill. But now there was no getting things back on their right track, just because I had been neurotic enough to voluntarily dial Sousuke's number.
At home, there had been plenty of times for me to ponder how best to reorder my life. But because I was such a desperate dumbass, more than once I had tried to engage Ichigo into some kind of a staring match as a form of a plea, perhaps, but none of this had so far worked nor had any of it been understood. As my frustrations needed venting, I found myself standing right outside his room in the middle of the night. To signify my presence, I pressed my forehead against his door without knowing what should follow. Before my commonsense got a hold of me, the click of his doorknob was heard. And, of course, the look on his face wasn't doing me any great service.
"Grimmjow."
Frankly, I didn't know what had gotten over me. Maybe because I was thinking I would be killed tomorrow in the match, and in so being in that state of mind there seemed to be a need to distribute sentimental farewells here and there. Without anything conclusive forming in my head, I lunged at him, pressing us both inside his room. Closing the door behind me, I moved closer to him. He backed away. My voice came,
"The Panthers will slaughter at least eleven Tigers tomorrow."
"I hope so too."
"That's not what I mean. I will kill them in order to murder your fucking Ginjo Kugo in the finals."
I had originally meant to stay for only a little while, but with him standing there, defenseless and reading between the lines, something terrific seemed to be waiting to happen. Sure enough, I was beginning to understand I had but one action at my disposal, and that was to kiss him because I had been dying for it for maybe days now. Perhaps I believed stealing a kiss from Ichigo would take me on even grounds with Ginjo Kugo. And so I did, leaving him aghast and god knew what else. Hell, I didn't care. The kiss must've lasted for a minute but the lack of cooperation on his part did nothing to diminish the force I was applying. Once I had had my fill, I pulled away. He looked perturbed, and on the whole confused, as if he knew not how to react. However, I could see he was still under the impression that I was on the brink of explaining. But I had no plans of that sort, hence I turned to my heels to finally march away from him, feeling somewhat satisfied with a pathetic stolen kiss.
"G—grimmjow, do your best and be careful tomorrow." I heard him stammer behind me.
With those words I was reminded of those nights we had spent together beneath the sheets. During those times there had appeared to be nothing in the past, nor in the future; there had only been the present. If someone had told me we had been on our way to this happier stage of what probably had been love, I would've believed it without ever contesting. Accordingly, it was maybe true I had been in love, and still was. And now those nights were irrevocably gone, while something in me continued to scream his name.
I darted upstairs without a last look at him, the walls of what probably was my heart caving in.
…
I stood on the field, and there towered ahead of me a fucking sentinel. It took two plays for everyone to realize that this beast's sole purpose was to immobilize me. I could hear my teammates before me, murmuring grave things which were taking more definite shapes each time Edrad Liones got nearer and nearer to crushing me.
"We will push through by rushing." After all the hard thinking, this was all I managed to say, shallow and predictable. It was only at the end of the huddle when I drew myself up to Omaeda, to tell him, "Can you hold Liones off?"
"Whaddaya take me for, Grimmjow, some beauty queen on this battlefield?"
"Stop acting like one, then."
"I'll protect you. Promise."
"Protect captain at all cost!" Hisagi Shuhei boomed as we scattered.
We dispersed to a rather generic formation. When the snap was carried out, I ended up surveying the reflex of the opponents. But being entirely sure of the situation required battling through a blitzkrieg of second thoughts. Fact was, I could run myself or allow Hisagi to do it. In my hesitation, I failed to notice that someone had rammed Omaeda from the side, leaving Liones free. In less than the blink of an eye, Edrad Liones was upon me. I had enough presence of mind to procure a step backward. I was thinking, I only had to get the ball outta my hands for this oversized bull to leave me alone.
I thought I was quick enough.
This time, I wasn't. I was smashed. Never mind that the possession was transferred to the other team without us gaining a fucking yard. He knocked me down, using his left shoulder to smash my right side with a force that was enough to blot out an existence. Falling down on my back, my helmet flying to lord-knew-where, I went on to see stars circling above me. Omaeda promised to protect me, huh? Out of all the promises he could fucking break... 'A Quarterback's life rests on his throwing arm'. Did that mean my life was over? Because, sure as hell, my humerus had just shattered to pieces!
"CAPTAIN!" It might have been Hisagi or Vega, but I hadn't known either of their voices could go that girlish.
"And so the Jaguar King has fallen." Kira Izuru's voice could be discerned even though he was sitting down on their bench. With the genuine but nevertheless bogus commiserating look he was wearing, it was easy to tell Liones had smashed me under his orders. No sooner after this audacity was uttered did Hisagi charge at him, spitting his words,
"Is this your idea of fair play, frickin' faggot?!"
Hitsugaya stepped between them, whereas Hisagi was pressed back by our freshmen teammates onto the side bench, his middle finger flashing at Hitsugaya and Izuru.
"Relax, dude. I've only been sitting here this whole time." Kira Izuru clarified.
Well, my upper arm might have shattered, but at the same time it also translated to another kind of sound: the sound of my entire future breaking into smithereens!
"To the infirmary, quick!" Coach barked at the medics who were carting a stretcher over where I was.
I couldn't get any sensation from my arm, but I could tell the rest of me was okay, which went to say, screw the stretcher. To be sure, it was the shock that was freezing me entirely. With that in mind, I made a motion to sit up, whereby my teammates closed in on me. Soon, Ylfordt wrapped an arm around my waist, slumped my uninjured arm around his shoulders and supported me on my feet.
"I'll assist him myself." He dismissed the medics.
Because my emotional state could not spare me a chance to protest, Ylfordt herded me away without further difficulties. A last look at my teammates showed they were feeling worse than if Christmas had been canceled. While that was happening, I realized coach had opted not to force me onto a stretcher so as not to injure my pride.
But my pride had already been slaughtered anyway some four minutes ago, along with my spirit.
…
In the stadium's infirmary, after what seemed like an eternity of quarreling with the medics who insisted I ought to be stuffed in a fucking ambulance, I was finally allowed to stay until further instructions from some authority. With more or less one million death threats flowing outta my mouth, it was clear I was too decided for any contradiction, but one of the nurses said she was going to report my persistence to the league's Head Commissioner. Anyway, I was now being looked after by Lisa alone, who looked as though she would rather be anywhere else than here.
"Tighten my bandages." I said.
"No use."
"Fuck that! If Vega gets killed next, there'll be no one left to fill my slot!"
She burst into tears. This wasn't the first and certainly wouldn't be the last time I made a girl cry. In this occasion, however, I had made a girl cry for a wholly different reason, and that became apparent when she struggled to word things between sobs,
"We're doomed…"
Was she losing hope? The nerve of this chick! I never, not for one damn accidental second, would've believed it had been possible for us to lose. And yet here she was, our very manager who was supposed to encourage us at all cost, expressing her fears like any average girl in absolute despair.
"Why the hell are you crying? We haven't fucking lost yet! Here, bind another layer of this around my fucking arm and make it quick." I gestured at the nearby roll of heavy-duty bandage on the bedside table.
She subdued. There probably was something in me which was prompting me to appear assuring, apart from fierce, and maybe that was why she grabbed the roll and started to undo it with dexterity. Before long we were silent.
But the silence ended as soon as it had entered, for here was someone, stepping into the threshold.
Ichigo.
Lisa shifted uncomfortably at my side.
"Captain can't receive visitors—"
"—Let him in." I interrupted, surprising even myself. Jesus. Was I craving his nearness so much that I had to act like a buffoon in front of him and the manager? Or maybe the painkiller given to me earlier was doing its job to demolish my wits temporarily.
"I've phoned your mom. She and dad are on their way." Ichigo explained, looking grave.
"Really? Have you been watching?"
"Of course."
"With that fucking so-called 'Alpha Wolf', I presume." I said with a virulent smirk, to which Lisa tightened the cloth on purpose, so hard I had to squint. I'd have passed out if it hadn't been for the painkillers.
"Right. So long, bro." He turned to leave.
But, not realizing what emotional gamble I was making, I called out,
"Wait." That froze his departure like a pause button. Snatching my chance, I turned to Lisa, "Can you head up for a second? Come back here to report in three minutes."
She nodded, unquestioning. When she had gone, Ichigo approached my bed with caution, as if entering a lion's den.
"Need anything?"
"Well, I don't know, really. I haven't been thinking about you, at least from the moment I entered this stadium, and that gave me enough mental stability to play like a legend. But then you arrived, stealing all my presence of mind."
I had no right to sound arrogant, especially when I had been sentimentally confused enough last night to steal a kiss from him. But, until you faced the same pressure I was facing at the moment—as the principal engine of the team now rendered obsolete—, you couldn't imagine how necessary it was for me to avail whatever shit on which to vent my frustration.
"Forgive me then. For the meantime, I can only hope you forget about my existence and for you to get well." was his answer. Not taken aback or anything, he made a motion to leave.
"Forget? It's that easy, isn't it, you grand prick?"
"I wouldn't know. Perhaps you would, because it's that easy to leave."
"Who the fuck said anything about leaving?"
"Aren't you flying away with your dad by the end of the school year, Grimmjow?"
That shut me up. He must've acquired the news from my mother. Regardless, it seemed the nearer my departure got the harder it was for me to feel good about it. In fact, I might have been dreading it all along. Just what had I got myself into, anyway? Somehow, I started to wish I were only half as psychotic as I really was so I wouldn't have to change my mind time again like some pregnant woman.
"As a matter of fact, I am. Well, you're right anyhow; I should try erasing from my mind the fact that you exist." And because I was rest-assured severely psychotic, this was what I said.
He looked disgusted, while it was next to impossible for me to gain satisfaction from this. Surprisingly, though, a hurt expression was all that could be derived from his face, and immediately I felt like taking back what I had just said.
"Then disappear for all I fucking care." He retorted, though not without grudge. This served as a prelude for his bitter departure which he conducted with heavy treads. Due to my splendid manners, of course, I was left alone again, now more baffled than ever.
What this encounter meant I couldn't tell. And yet, he had sounded like he had hated me for going away indefinitely. For leaving him. Never minding the fact that he was the one who had started this fucking rift, he was mad at me, angry for the desertion I was going to pull. Apparently, it hadn't quite occured to him that, aside from falsely accusing me of bedding a teacher on my own will, he had broken up with me, had mangled my fucking heart in all probability, and on top of everything had kissed Ginjo Kugo, of all fucking assholes. And now he was most likely back on the stands, sitting beside that jackass.
So Ichigo Kurosaki had the right to despise me, while I lay with a dying arm, because what?!
TBC
Disclaimer: This chap is based on one of Eyeshield 21's chaps, where Hiruma got smashed.
