6.

Walking into GSMH Callie felt a lot lighter than she did when she walked out of there. Yes, her soul hurt more than she could even put into words after Arizona's confession, but it had also made her realize what she should have known all along. That Arizona was her family and she needed to fight for that, fight for them.

"Callie," Meredith greeted, surprised to see her friend back so soon.

Callie turned around, adding a packet of sugar to her coffee. "Meredith. Hi."

"I didn't expect you back so soon," Meredith admitted.

"I didn't see the point in staying," Callie shrugged. "There's nothing left for me in New York, everything I need is here. Er, Sofia, is she in daycare? I've missed her."

Meredith shook her head. "No. She's upstairs with Arizona."

"Good, that's good," Callie smiled. "They should be spending as much time together as possible. I should go on check on them," she added, needing to see her daughter, and Arizona.

"Of course," Meredith agreed.

Thanking her friend for everything Callie grabbed a slice of pound cake, paying the cashier before heading towards the elevator. Her finger hesitating over the buttons as she suddenly realized she didn't know what floor Arizona had been moved too, because she wasn't her wife anymore, so she had no right to know where and how she was. Deciding to head up to ICU she hoped someone up there would take pity on her enough to tell her.

Stepping out of the elevator she immediately spotted a familiar face. "Michelle," she called, heading after the RT who had been helping Arizona.

"Callie, hey," Michelle greeted. "I was just heading down to round on Arizona, is everything ok?"

Callie nodded. "Everything is fine. I'll head down with you and pick Sofia up so she's not in the way whilst you check on Arizona," she suggested.

"Good luck," Michelle laughed.

"Sorry?" Callie frowned, not understanding what the RT was getting at.

Michelle laughed softly to herself. "Webber, Karev and Wilson already tried that, you have one strong willed little-girl there, not that I mind, it's good to see Arizona smile and Sofia is quite the budding RT, she's got setting up an albuterol treatment down to an art."

"Arizona is still on albuterol?" Callie worried, she had never known Arizona to have respiratory issues before other than the PE she suffered from after the crash. She knew from stories Arizona had told her that she used to struggle as a kid, that there was concerns whilst they were in the Middle East that she might be asthmatic but she had outgrown them.

Michelle eyed the other woman sadly. "You know I can't share confidential information with you. Sorry."

"I know," Callie admitted.

Pausing outside Arizona's room Callie stopped, her eyes bright with tears as she heard the loud, unfiltered, belly-laugh that belonged to her daughter, accompanied by the familiar laughter of her ex-wife, a sound she feared she would never hear again.

Holding up her hand she stopped Michelle from entering. "Could you just give them a minute?"

"Sure," Michelle agreed. "But I do need to go in there soon," she added.

"I know," Callie agreed. "Just one more minute, they just need one more minute."

Leaning back against the wall Callie waited as the laughter filtered out as she motioned for Michelle to go ahead, taking a few deep breaths she followed her inside to find Sofia curled up on the bed next to her mommy, a book held between them as Sofia carefully read from the pages.

"Mama," Sofia greeted, smiling up at her mother but not wanting to leave Arizona's side.

"Hey," Arizona smiled, her voice small and uncertain.

Walking towards the bed Callie watched as Michelle scanned Arizona's chart. "Hey Sof, how about you and I head downstairs and get some dessert so Michelle can check on mommy."

"Nah-uh," Sofia sung. "I'm her helper, right Michelle?"

"Told ya," Michelle mouthed towards the other woman before turning her attention back to the waiting child. "The best helper ever."

Sofia jumped down off the bed and picked up the chart that Michelle had just put down. "This says that you are doing super well, but that you still need 4 super-magic kisses an hour."

"Only 4?" Arizona laughed.

"Yep," Sofia nodded, her voice popping.

Callie couldn't help but smile at her daughter's antics as Michelle unwrapped the stethoscope from around her neck and approached the bed, her movements unsure as her gaze switched between the room's occupants.

"It's ok," Arizona reassured her, sitting up so the RT could listen to her back, before she moved around and listened to the front.

"My turn," Sofia insisted when Michelle was finished as she took the stethoscope from her and pretended to listen, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed.

Michelle waited until she had finished before speaking. "What's the verdict?"

"Mommy your lungs are still whistling," Sofia sighed.

Looking to Michelle for confirmation Arizona helped Sofia back into her lap. "She's right, although it's only very mild wheezing in the bases, a huge improvement."

"Does she need the magic mist?" Sofia wondered.

Michelle nodded. "Yes. But then I think we can switch to 4 hourly nebulizers."

"And 4 times an hour kisses," Sofia reminded her.

"Of course," Michelle agreed. "But not just any kisses, they have to be super-magic Sofia kisses or they won't work," she added.

Sofia rested her head on her mother's stomach, drawing Callie's attention to the tiny baby-bump only just visible under her top. "Which means I have to stay here, forever. Right?"

"Forever," Callie agreed, looking directly at Arizona so the other woman could see she meant it.

As Michelle handed the albuterol to Arizona she helped her sit up, whispering something so only she could hear before leaving the room.

"Really?" Sofia asked, lifting her head off of her mother and facing her. "We are staying here forever? Not in New York."

Walking across the room and sitting down in the chair she watched as Arizona rested on hand on her stomach as the other one held the mouthpiece. "Really. All of our stuff is on the way here as we speak and I think I've already found us a home."

"But I want to live with mommy," Sofia sulked. "You said when I came back to Seattle I would get to live with her so I want to live with her," she argues, not realizing how much her words were hurting the other woman.

"I know Sof but things are different now, when we made those plans it was because I was going to be in New York but I'm moving back here too, we are all going to be in Seattle," Callie explained.

"So we can all live together?" Sofia hoped, her face lighting up with a hopeful smile.

Callie hated how confusing all of this was for the little-girl. "No. But you can see us both whenever you like, it just means you get 2 homes, 2 bedrooms and 2 lots of toys."

As she spoke the words Callie suddenly realized she didn't know where Arizona lived anymore, she couldn't imagine it was the same place that she had been attacked in. "Unless…"

"I'm staying at Alex's at the moment," Arizona said, as if she had heard Callie's thoughts. "I couldn't go back to the house, not after … everything."

"I'm waiting to hear back from the real estate guy but this place, it has 4 bedrooms, it's single story, hardly any steps an there's a yard, a really big yard, so we could, I mean …"

Arizona shook her head, pleading with Callie to stop, this was too much. "Callie. Please. I just need to … I need time and I need space and I appreciate what you are saying, really I do but … this is too much, too soon."

"Ok," Callie agreed.

The room settled into a somewhat comfortable silence as the nebulizer finished and Arizona leaned back against the pillow with Sofia curled in next to her. The young girl's eyes fluttering shut as she rested her hand on top of Arizona's stomach.

"Does she know?" Callie wondered.

Arizona shook her head. "No. I think she's confused enough at the moment."

"Right," Callie agreed.

Arizona looked down at where her daughter's hand rested on her baby-bump in an almost protective manner. "She doesn't even know and she's already the protective big sister."

"She's missed you so much Arizona," Callie whispered.

"I've missed her too," Arizona breathed.

Callie was quiet for a few moments before speaking. "I'm sorry about rushing things. I know it's not what you want, that building a relationship with me is not what you want. I just thought that maybe we could do it, maybe we could co-exist in the same house for Sofia's sake."

"You know I would do anything for her Callie. Anything. But right now, I'm not sure this is the right thing to do. I'm a mess, my head is a mess, my life is a mess. I need time and space to fix me, to get back to being … someone she can be proud of because I've lost that and I'm not sure she needs to see that. To see how damaged, I am and I don't know if I have the strength to hide it from her all day every day," Arizona admitted.

"Sofia loves you, no matter what," Callie tried to reassure her.

Arizona looked down at her sleeping daughter. "I know. But the nightmares, the terrors … I'm afraid of my own shadow right now and most of the time I don't know where my head is at. After the plane crash Sofia was too young to understand but now, she's smart and intuitive and … I don't want her to see me when I'm … it's bad and … I want to protect her."

"And who is going to protect you?" Callie wondered, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"It's too late," Arizona whispered, her voice shaking.

Callie felt like her heart was breaking all over again as she realized just how much damage had been done to the woman in the bed. "Ari-"

"Don't Callie. Don't make promises you can't keep," Arizona interrupted.

"I'm not," Callie argued.

Arizona closed her eyes for a few seconds, needing to find a little clarity. "Yes, you are. We have been over for a long time Callie. And when you first called time on our relationship I would have given anything to believe there was still a chance, still some hope but as the weeks turned into months we moved on. You fell in love, you moved away and there was so much said, so much unsaid and we lost any hope. Now … you feel guilty, I get that, but you shouldn't … what happened to me it wasn't your fault Callie and a relationship built on guilt and some misguided sense of loyalty is not a relationship that is going to last. We need to be honest with each other."

"I never stopped loving you Arizona," Callie finally admitted, realizing if she said didn't say it now then she never would. "I know my actions might have said otherwise but … it's true, there wasn't a day when I didn't think about you, think about what we had, what we lost," she declared, needing her to know.

"Cal-"

Callie shook her head, she needed to finish what she had to say. "We're a family Arizona. You, me and Sofia and I know things are painful and complicated and just so, so hard right now but we could still be a family. You, me, Sofia and this little-girl. You don't need to do it alone, you're not alone."

"I can't. I can't give you more than that because I don't understand it myself, I just know I can't because it's not what I need right now, I need to know that I can do this. That I can heal and move on and be myself again. I don't need you to fix me Callie. I need to fix me, before I can be anything to anyone else I need to me again," Arizona replied.

"Why do I feel like we've been here before?" Callie sighed.

"Because we have," Arizona breathed. "And it fell apart then, there's no way of knowing that this time will be any different and I'm not strong enough for it to fall apart again, please understand that."

Callie knew she was right, that they couldn't rush into anything but it didn't stop it being what she wanted. "Ok. But I'm not going anywhere Arizona."

"I know," Arizona yawned.

"I love you," Callie whispered, resting her hand on top of Sofia's as she felt a tiny fluttering of movement beneath it. She wanted this, despite how it came to be she wanted all of it, she wanted her family back.

GA – GA – GA

Curling her legs up under her Callie held the beer bottle tightly in her hands as she watched her friend place the baby monitor on the table.

"Talk to me," Meredith pleaded, hating to see her friend in so much pain.

"I can't," Callie sighed, even as much as she wanted too a part of her felt she couldn't because it wasn't her story to tell.

Meredith watched her friend carefully. "Why? It's obviously hurting you, whatever it is so … let me help you."

"It's not about me," Callie breathed, running her finger across the rim of the bottle.

Looking around the room Meredith stood up. "Come on," she said, motioning for her friend to follow her.

Confused, Callie followed her anyway. "Where are we going?" she wondered.

"Outside," Meredith shrugged.

"Because Seattle in winter makes everything better," Callie huffed, following her out to the patio, sitting down on the oversized chair, her eyes settling on the fabulous view of the Seattle skyline.

Meredith sat down next to her. "It helps, seeing this always helps me see the bigger picture."

"If I tell you something you have to promise me that you won't react, that you will just listen and understand," Callie pleaded.

"Ok," Meredith agreed.

Callie took a swig of her beer. "Arizona's pregnant, about 5 months pregnant."

"And how do you feel about that?" Meredith asked, trying to keep any emotion from creeping into her response, just like Callie had asked.

"It's complicated," Callie began, not knowing how to explain exactly where her head was at. "Arizona being pregnant was … everything I ever wanted, it way my dream for so long and now it's happening and we are further apart than we have ever been. I hurt her, I made her think she was nothing, that everything we had meant nothing and now … she's everything Meredith."

Of all the ways Meredith had expected Callie to react to the news of her ex-wife's pregnancy this was not one of them. She had expected anger, frustration and confusion, this however she had not expected.

"When I walked away from my marriage I thought it was for the best. Arizona and I we were toxic to each other, I couldn't be happy for her and that made me realize that … we were better off without each other. Then I moved on, I found Penny and we moved away but she was there, in everything I did. I remember being with Sofia at MOMA and all I could think was; Arizona should be here, I pushed it aside but then you called and I came and … she's having a baby Meredith and the only thing that makes any sense, the only truth I believe is that; I want it to be my baby too," Callie admitted.

"And what does Arizona want?" Meredith asked.

"Not that," Callie whispered sadly.

Meredith moved closer to her friend. "Have you asked her?"

"Yeah," Callie breathed, her eyes never leaving the rim of the beer bottle. "She doesn't even want to be friends with me. God … I sound like a 5-year-old who has just been rejected by the popular girl on the playground."

"Maybe you just need to give her time," Meredith suggested.

"I know," Callie nodded. "I broke her Meredith. I promised to try, I promised I had forgiven her, I promised her that we would be ok and then I walked away. I gave up on her, on us and our family and now she doesn't believe that I want this," she cried.

Meredith leaned back against the chair. "She's probably scared. I remember when Derek told me he wanted me, after all of the drama with Addison and … everything. I was scared. It was what I wanted but I was scared. Maybe that's what Arizona feels too; she loves you Callie, everyone can see that, she's been walking around here like a ghost since you left."

"That's not because I left," Callie whispered, her voice barely audible above the hum of nature of nature that surrounded them.

"I-"

Callie didn't know if she had a right to be sharing what she was about to be sharing but she needed to tell someone, to talk to someone otherwise she felt like she would explode. "Something happened to her," she stammered, "Something big, something bigger than anything that happened between us and I don't know how to help her. I don't think she even wants me to be that person for her. But I want to be Meredith. I want to be the person that helps her; that makes her laugh again, that makes her love again, that makes her feel safe again. Because she's that, she's all that and so much more for me."

"What happened Callie?" Meredith asked, even though she was already putting the pieces together in her head.

"She … someone … she … he hurt her … and now … he hurt her …"

"Who hurt her?" Meredith exhaled, her heart breaking for the double-board certified surgeon.

Callie buried her head in her hands. "I don't know," she mumbled into her hands. "Some faceless, nameless stranger r … r …raped my wife," Callie sobbed, realizing this was the first time she had said it out loud, as she instinctively referred to Arizona as her wife.

As Callie said the words out loud suddenly everything fit into place and Meredith felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Her and Arizona had never been close, not like her and Callie were but that didn't mean her heart wasn't breaking for the other woman. She had thought something had happened, something big. But as time went on and things seemed to go back to normal she put all the changes in Arizona down to Callie and Sofia leaving.

The month after the custody hearing had been brutal. Arizona had disappeared without a word to anyone, or at least so it seemed but Alex seemed to know something, if the way he reacted whenever her name was mentioned was anything to go by. Then she returned, and for a few days it was like nothing had changed. But Callie followed through on her promise and took Sofia to New York.

With the youngster gone and nothing to keep her from falling apart everyone had watched as little-by-little, piece-by-piece everything that made Arizona, Arizona disappeared. She stopped laughing, spent all day at the hospital, slept there at night and when someone finally forced her to go home she would return just hours later looking like she had not slept. Everyone hoped it would get better, that she would find herself again but things just seemed to get worse. She didn't socialize, she barely talked to anyone. The only people she seemed to be receptive to was Alex, Richard, April and as time went on Jo Wilson.

"The baby?" Meredith asked as she started putting 2 and 2 together.

"Yeah," Callie cried.

Meredith pulled her friend in for a hug. "Is she…"

"She's keeping it, keeping her, it's like she said it's her baby and it didn't ask for any of this but …" Callie trailed off not sure if she should continue. "But I don't want it to just be her baby Meredith. I want her to be our baby. She's Sofia's sister, Arizona's daughter and … it's my family Meredith."

"Look, I know Arizona is saying that she doesn't want it, that she doesn't want you but … she is processing so much right now, more than either of us could ever imagine. What happened to her, what she went through is something no woman should ever have to live through. So you need to be patient. You need to be there for her, but not overwhelm her. You need to support her but not try and do everything for her. You need to listen and not talk. You need to let her take the lead and you need to follow, because so many decisions have already been taken away from her that she needs to be in control. I know you are hurting and … but Arizona is hurting more and I know it's not a competition but this needs to be about her now Callie, about what she wants and what she needs and then hopefully in time what she needs and what you want will become the same thing. But right now … small steps," Meredith suggested, trying to make her friend see that just because things seemed hopeless right now it didn't mean they always would.

Taking a swig of her now dry beer Callie wiped furiously at her eyes as her whole body shook with grief and anger. "I know," Callie whispered. "I just don't want her to be alone."

"She's not alone," Meredith pointed out. "She has people."

"She has a village," Callie sighed. "A village that doesn't include me."

Meredith shook her head gently. "It will always include you Callie. You have a daughter together."

"Why her?" Callie cried. "Things like this should not happen to people like her, I mean it shouldn't happen to anyone, no one should have to go through that but Arizona …she's been through so much already, lost so much. She doesn't deserve this, she's one of the kindest most understanding people I know, she saves children, she fixes babies before they are even born. She helps people even when they can't afford it, did you know she pays for people to fly out to see her? She's screwing herself financially to save other people because that's who she is Meredith, things like this should not happen to people like her."

"You can't change what happened Callie, but you can change what happens now," Meredith declared, giving her friend hope that it wasn't over.

GA – GA – GA

Walking out of the shower Arizona winced, after 7 days of not wearing her prosthetic being back in it again was painful, as if she was learning to walk again. With slow, steady steps she wrapped the gown around herself and sat down in the chair next to the bed, her eyes settling on a bag from her favorite deli.

Picking it up she spotted the post-it-note attached, unable to stop the tentative smile that spread across her face when she spotted the familiar handwriting.

"I figured you'd had enough of hospital food so Sofia and I stopped by your favorite spot."

Opening the bag, she found a dark red smoothie, which she knew was likely a super-berry blast and an almond croissant, her favorite go to whenever she passed the small, family-run deli. Inhaling the familiar scent, she took a grateful bite as she leaned back in the chair and sipped hungrily on the smoothie.

Within minutes the cup was empty and croissant gone as she realized just how hungry she was, the hospital issue breakfasts being something she had been unable to stomach. When they were together, when her and Callie were married she would always leave packages of food on the pediatric ward, knowing that Arizona would get so focused on work that she would often forget to eat.

For the longest moment Arizona was so lost in memories of happier times that she didn't even hear the door opening until she heard footsteps approaching.

"Hey," Jo smiled.

"Sofia get to daycare ok?" Arizona asked.

Jo nodded, pulling a chair over towards the bed she sat down, leaning back she lifted her legs up and rested them on the bed. "Yep."

"Make yourself at home Wilson," Arizona chuckled.

Jo shrugged, chuckling quietly. "It's been a long 24 hours."

"Were you on call last night?" Arizona questioned, suddenly feeling guilty that she was the reason Jo was not at home in bed.

"Yeah," Jo yawned, suddenly feeling the effects of her marathon shift.

Arizona turned to face her. "Why didn't you say? I could have had someone else pick Sofia up and drop her off."

"Because we're friends," Jo replied, as if the answer didn't even need saying. "And friends help friends, even when they are tired beyond tired."

Taking off her leg Arizona winced again, lifting up her other leg and mirroring the younger doctor's position as they both leaned back, closing their eyes and allowing the silence to settle over them, her hand resting on her stomach as she felt the gentle, barely their movements of her unborn daughter.

"She moving?" Jo asked, watching the smile spread across her friend's face.

"I think so," Arizona replied, lazily opening her eyes. "I mean … I felt it before a few times but over the last 48 hours it's different, it's this fluttering that … I think she's trying to let me know everything is going to be alright. As a doctor I know that sounds stupid but as-"

"A mom it sounds great," Jo finished for her.

"Yeah," Arizona agreed.

Pulling out her cellphone Jo typed something into the search engine before pushing herself into more of a sitting position. "It says here that she's the size of a banana. That moving will feel like fluttering or bubbling and that she has eyelashes and eyebrows and her taste buds are beginning to form."

"I am a fetal surgeon Jo, I think I know the developmental stages of a baby," Arizona laughed.

"I know, I know," Jo replied. "But this is different, this is your baby and … this is what pregnant women do right? They google how big the baby is, start making a long list of names and choosing colors for the nursery. I mean that's what you and Callie did with Sofia right?"

Arizona smiled at the thought of her daughter. "No. We didn't have a chance. Sofia she was born early, really early at 23 weeks and … we didn't have a chance."

"Please don't make it pink," Jo pleaded.

"Make what pink?" Arizona wondered.

Jo grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the side. "The nursery. I mean I know pink is kind of like your thing but no kid should have a pink nursery."

"You need a home before you can start planning a nursery," Arizona sighed sadly.

"You have a home, with Alex and I, I mean I know it's not ideal but we have spare rooms and what better place to be than with a live-in pediatric doctor, plus I'm pretty good with tiny humans too," Jo pointed out.

Arizona raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You wouldn't mind? I mean you and Alex are … young and I'm … I have baggage."

"It's your home Arizona," Jo reminded her.

"Thank-you," Arizona breathed out.

Jo shrugged as if having your boss and her baby live with you was nothing. "Just promise you won't make the nursery pink?"

"Grey," Arizona began. "I always wanted a soft grey nursery with one feature wall, perhaps a world map in bright colors and then over the crib; which would be white, I would have the baby's name in brightly colored fabric letters and there would be framed pictures of animals and a rocking chair because every nursery needs a rocking chair," she finished suddenly realizing she had given it a lot more thought than she realized.

"Sounds perfect," Jo agreed.

Arizona could hear the pain in the voice of her new friend and confident. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Jo sighed. "I was just thinking about how lucky Sofia and that little one are to have you as a mother. My parents … they didn't care, my foster parents didn't care, no one did, but you; you care and that's all any child needs right, someone that cares so … they're lucky, so freaking lucky."

"You have people that care," Arizona reassured her.

Jo smiled at her friend. "I know. So do you … you know that right?"

"For a long time, I didn't," Arizona admitted. "But I do now."