Missing Scene: 6x04 II
They kissed, which was widely inappropriate for their location, but she wasn't officially back until tomorrow. If Beckett was okay with it, then he was okay with it, no more questions asked. He didn't need to be told twice to kiss his fiance.
The night seemed to crawl after that. The Old Haunt had been a good time, and there was plenty of alcohol to be consumed, but neither Castle or Beckett touched a drop, instead sticking with water for him, and Ginger Ale for her. The last thing she wanted was to show up to work the next morning with a hangover to rival hangovers, if the amount of drinks and toasts she had been offered was any indication.
They entered her apartment. It was stuffy, so, Kate went to open some windows to air the place out. She pulled sheets off of the furniture, and went about making the apartment habitable again while Castle settled down on the couch, and even that was too much movement for him. He was unaware of Kate's disappearing act into the bedroom to change the bedsheets until she came back a couple minutes later.
She went to the fridge, opened the freezer, and cursed. "I don't have any ice," she growled across the kitchen to the living room and began to rummage through the shelves for an ice tray to fill with water and put into the freezer.
"I don't need ice," came the rough reply.
Kate rolled her eyes, slamming the freezer door shut. "What're you saying? Of course you need ice, Rick. You've been shot for fuck's sake."
"I said I'm fi-"
"You're fine. I heard you the first time, and you know what?" Kate came out of the kitchen and stopped just short of the couch with her hands on her hips. "I didn't believe you then. What makes you think I'll believe you now?"
"I don't know, Kate. I would have thought my word counted for something." He looked up at the ceiling. Really, anywhere would have been better than looking at Kate. She'd be able to see everything reflected in his eyes. He felt like a child, and though on most days he acted like one, this was different. He was a grown man, and he didn't need to be coddled, or taken care of because of the ring on her finger. He could take care of himself. In fact, he did take care of himself, and he thought he did a pretty damned good job.
If Kate had had her way all those years ago, and he had taken that vest back, he'd be a memory right now.
"Why are you being a jackass, Castle?"
"Excuse me?!" he cried, shifting in his seat to get a better look at her, but winced horribly when he twisted his torso in just the wrong way. There was a fury in his eyes, though.
"You know, when you broke your kneecap, all you could do was whine about it all day long, and bother me at work. And yet, here and now, you decide to what… shut me out… over something that really matters like getting shot?"
Castle narrowed his eyes at her and with some effort, rose from the couch. "I really hope you're hearing the words coming out of your mouth. And for the record," he held up his index finger as if that would prove his point, "I was on some pretty powerful medication when I broke my kneecap, so I can't be held accountable for anything that happened. Also, when you took a bullet, you couldn't wait to shut me out, Kate."
"That was a long time ago, Castle. We've moved on from that…" Tears began to well up in her eyes, but she did her best to fight them. She kept her hands down at her sides, willing herself to hang onto her strength for just a little bit longer.
"And yet… here we are, Kate. Full circle."
"Things are different… now…"
"What do you want from me?" he asked. He hadn't made an attempt to get closer to her. He hadn't tried to make some sort of physical connection to her that they both knew would fix this in a heartbeat. "Any other time I voice my…" what was a good word? "... displeasure, or discomfort, you're the first one telling me to suck it up, and you don't hesitate to compare battle wounds to do it. So, this time, I try to put on a brave face, for you, and that's not good enough?"
Castle scoffed at her. Suddenly, coming to her apartment didn't feel like such a grand idea anymore. He looked at her, and he could feel his heart breaking, but what the fuck did she want from him? He saved the lives of those hostages, and he was suddenly feeling more guilty for that than he should've been.
"You got shot!" she cried. "Shot!" Why couldn't he see that this was different. They were betrothed. They were each other's future.
"I saved the life of that little girl and her mother!" he shot back angrily. "I saved Emma's life, and the lives of everyone else in that office. I don't need you to remind me what happened, Kate." He tore open his shirt, and miraculously, only a couple buttons went flying off. "I was there. And unlike you, I won't lie about whether or not I remember it."
Kate couldn't help it. She raised a hand to her mouth, stepping forward when she saw the bruise on his chest. It was dark, and ugly, and so out of place against his otherwise healthy skin. A tear escaped out of the corner of her eye. She looked back up to his eyes and almost recoiled seeing the anger there. "I thought you forgave me…"
"I did…" he rushed, "I do. I'm sorry." Castle shook his head slightly, mentally slapping himself for being so stupid to let something like that slip out. "I did a good thing today. I did something that actually mattered to those people - I saved their lives." And he wasn't saying that to boost his own ego, or to make himself seem more important. "You risk your life everyday, Kate. Now you'll understand what it's like for me when you go through that door first without knowing what's on the other side."
Castle rebuttoned the buttons of his shirt that hadn't fallen off and stepped around Kate towards the front door. "Rick, please…"
"I did a good thing today, Kate," he stated, turning to face her again, "and this is what I get. An argument over the one time I put other people ahead of myself."
"Rick, wait!"
But he was gone with the slamming of the door.
Castle had a few minutes head start on her. She had rushed through the apartment to grab her coat and keys, and by the time she reached the elevator, he was already gone, and she had to wait for it to come back up to her.
The ride down to the ground floor had been long, and she was through the doors before they had even opened fully. She ran outside to the sidewalk and looked in the general direction of Castle's loft. There was no way he managed to hail a cab so quickly, but hey, he was Richard freaking Castle, and he was a mystery sometimes, and she had passed a woman in the lobby with bags of groceries in her hands, that maybe… yeah, he really did manage to hail a cab.
Fuck.
She didn't have her police cruiser, otherwise, she would have abused it, so she did the only thing she could do. She dialed a cab, and sat down on the steps to her building until it arrived.
She debated whether she should knock on his door or not, and decided not to. So, she shoved her key into the lock and let herself in. Shockingly, there was no Pi on the couch, and the lights were off all through the apartment, except for the office.
Kate didn't question their good fortune of an empty loft and moved towards the lightsource, where she could hear Castle's… breathing. She wandered to his bedroom and faltered in her steps as she saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. His chest heaved with each intake of air. She stepped forward, and he looked up at her, shocked, disbelieving, and yet relieved that she was actually there. His eyes were red, and she had no doubt that he discreetly was crying in the cab ride home.
She stepped between his legs, and his arms wrapped around her tightly. His head rested just below her breasts. Her hands ran through his hair lovingly. "I can't remember why we were fighting," she said after a few moments, looking down at the crown of his head.
"You were out of ice," he mumbled against her shirt, squeezing her body tighter to him.
"I don't want to hurt you," she bit her lip as she started to tug her body away from him, but he clutched at her tighter than before. Okay, she wouldn't fight him on this, but she knew the damage was already done. "You did it, you know," she said to him. "You were right. You had to scratch and claw for every inch that I would give you… but you did it."
He stiffened against her.
"You made your way into my very soul, and you're stuck there now. You don't know how sorry I truly am for how I treated you. So, please, don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't shut me out." He looked up at her, complete love and adoration in his eyes. "Tell me how you're really feeling."
"It hurts. A lot."
Her hands continued to comb through his hair, over and over again. "You are a brave man, Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle." She was so thankful she wasn't remembering the man today. He was right there, in front of her, radiating his warmth towards her in waves. "You did an amazing thing today." She paused for a moment. "I almost lost you… and there was a second there when I just thought I was dying with you. I don't ever want to lose you."
"But… the greater good, right?"
"The greater good," she nodded her head, knowing in her heart that given the chance, they would choose the lives of others over their own.
"Kate?"
"Hmm?"
"Could you do… that trick that you do with ice…" he took her hand and moved it to his chest, "right here? I need you."
Kate smiled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips while her hands worked at his shirt. She undressed him, and he undressed her. The entire time, she was thinking to herself that he was there, with her, and alive. "I'll run to get some ice from the kit-"
"No need," Castle said, adjusting himself on the bed. He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a ziplock bag of ice he had prepared when he stepped through the door.
Kate crawled on the bed, grin on her face, gleam in her eyes. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and leaned in to press a more passionate kiss to his lips, her tongue sliding into his mouth easily. Normally, he put up more of a fight, wishing for dominance, but tonight, he knew what she needed, and that was control.
She opened the bag and popped an ice cube in her mouth as she straddled him. His hands gripped her waist as she leaned forward and lightly touched her lips to his chest. After a moment of playing with the cold cube in her mouth, she held it between her teeth and dragged it along the brilliant bruise.
Castle shuddered in a delicious way.
Kate was in control, and both would eventually find their way to relief, in more ways than one.
