AN: Here's a little smut interlude for ya, 'cause I never wrote out this scene a million stories ago. I finally got around to it a couple of weeks ago but only just edited it. I hope this improves your Monday!


I'll be your quiet afternoon crush / be your violent overnight rush / make you crazy over my touch


May, five years earlier.

What the hell was she doing?

Amanda looked down at the tattered notebook in her hand. It was filled with scribbles about legal statutes, torts and reading assignments in books she had never heard of. It belonged to Sonny Carisi, but he had left it at her apartment days ago. He hadn't asked her about it, so Amanda assumed that he either forgot it existed or didn't know he had lost it. Either way, she figured it wasn't all that important to him. Why, then, was she hovering outside of his apartment door that evening, eager to return it? She could have brought it to him at work, left it on his desk without a word. Or she could have let it sit on her kitchen table for months, along with all the other crap she had piled up there.

When Sonny pulled open the door, he appeared surprised before he offered her a smile. "Hey, 'Manda. What's up? Everything okay?" he asked anxiously.

Her heart squeezed in her chest. Amanda had never met another person so genuinely interested in her day-to-day well-being. Not even her own mother cared as much as Sonny did. "Yeah, yeah, everything's okay," she assured him.

Sonny opened the door wider. "Come in."

Once inside his familiar studio, Amanda thrust the notebook toward him awkwardly. "You forgot this."

"Oh, hey, I was wonderin' where that went," he replied eagerly, eyes bright like it was the best thing he had seen all day. He took it from her. "Thanks."

"Sure." She shifted in her spot, watching him set the notebook aside on his coffee table. She tugged at her lip nervously. "So... whatcha doin'?"

"I'm just reviewin' some stuff. The bar exam is next week, y'know, so..." he trailed off. "Uh, what are you doin'?"

Amanda shrugged. Good question; I have no idea. "I just thought maybe..."

He looked at her expectantly and she stared back. Amanda was used to being in control. When it came to men, she knew exactly how to bat her eyelashes and stroke their egos just right until they were foolish enough to think that they had the power. She found that game to be intoxicating, validating, if only for a little while. Sonny Carisi, however, made her feel like a fumbling, clueless teenager. He's just a man, she told herself repeatedly. Like all the others you've conquered.

Conquered, yes, but never kept. Her relationship with Nick had been toxic. Nate had publicly made an idiot out of her. And Declan? Amanda had seduced him to affirm that beneath his precious lieutenant's shield, he was merely a red-blooded male, putty in a pretty woman's hands. Everybody in between those encounters was blurry and half-hearted. It was different with Sonny: they hadn't slept together, but she had given him so many of the vulnerable parts of her already. They had shared one drunken kiss weeks ago, after she had exploded about his relationship with a too-attractive law school classmate. Even through the haze of whiskey and anger, Amanda knew she liked his lips on hers. They never spoke of it again, because although Sonny had made an attempt to, she had brushed him off. Lately, she found herself thinking about it all the time.

She took a step closer to him, so there were mere inches separating their bodies. Her fingers reached out to toy with the fabric of the plaid shirt he was wearing open over a gray tee. Fiddling with a button there, she peered up at him almost bashfully and sunk her teeth into her lower lip. "I thought maybe you'd wanna hang out."

For a second, Sonny didn't say anything. He didn't move. He didn't touch her. Panic started to set in for Amanda: this'll be embarrassing as hell tomorrow morning, she lamented internally. Why do I always have to fall for the guys I work with?

Then he kissed her, his mouth crushing against her with so much intensity that it took her breath away. Instinctively, her arms encircled his neck. She pressed herself against him, he held her waist, his hands pressed into the exposed skin between the top of her jeans and the hem of her t-shirt. Amanda felt him hook his fingers into her empty belt loops, tugging her along with him as he moved backward. With a breathless noise of surprise, she dropped down onto the couch with Sonny, her knees splayed on either side of his lap, her lips still on his. She only broke their kiss to pull her shirt up and over her head; she wasn't wasting any time. She felt one of Sonny's hands crawl up her bare back before he unhooked her bra with the kind of skill an overeager fifteen year old boy would marvel at. Amanda let the straps fall down her arms and cast it aside blindly.

"'Manda," he murmured against her mouth. His hand slid up her torso, a thumb circling her nipple. "I don't have a-"

"I'm on the pill," she interrupted him. She arched her back, chin pointed up toward the ceiling and eyes closed as she reveled in the sensation of his fingers toying with her breasts. She breathed, "it's fine, it's just, don't... don't stop doin' that."

Then there was his mouth. The scratch of newly-formed stubble against extra-sensitive skin sent shivers down Amanda's spine. Her hands gripped Sonny's biceps as she savored the sting of his teeth and the heat of lips all over the curves of her chest. She could have came just from that - God, had it been that long since she had had sex? An infant wasn't exactly the most attractive accessory to a man, so yeah, probably.

Suddenly, he moved her. On her back against the couch cushions, Amanda watched him shed both of his shirts and toss them carelessly aside. His torso was all lean muscle, exactly how she had imagined it - but better, because now she could touch it. Sonny practically tore her jeans down her legs, leaving them to pool at her ankles. She missed him in those few seconds of separation, but as if he was reading her mind, he was soon on top of her again to kiss her hungrily. Clad only in the barest excuse for pink lace underwear, her hips rolled upward greedily, a leg hooking around his waist like she was afraid he might go somewhere. He ground down into her, his low groan vibrating against her mouth. Blindly, her fingertips slipped between them and sought out his belt buckle with urgency.

But he pulled away, and in the process, he took her underwear with him. He lifted one of her legs to rest over his shoulder, the other dropped to press her foot into the floor. For a split second, Amanda was convinced she was in the middle of a very vivid daydream, but when she felt his mouth at her center, it was much too real to be a fantasy. She pulled in a sharp breath, muscles going rigid in the moment before she melted bonelessly into the cushions of the couch.

"Oh my fucking God," she moaned wantonly, her hips straining upwards even though his grip was tight and unrelenting on them, trying to keep her still. Whatever he was doing with the flat of his tongue had her coiled up like a spring, trembling for release. "Jesus, fuck..." she panted. This wasn't some half-hearted attempt at turning her on so he could fuck her - he wasn't going to stop till she came. It didn't take long: she dug her heel into his upper back and let out a sharp squeak of approval before her orgasm ripped through her. When she had recovered and was able to blink her eyes open, Sonny looked smug between her thighs.

Dizzy and out of breath as she struggled to get up, Amanda pushed Sonny backward so he was sitting up against the opposite arm of the couch. Crawling toward him, she shoved aside the thick fabric of his jeans, then his boxers, just enough to be able to palm his hardness. She watched the muscles in his abdomen twitch as she stroked him with a satisfied smirk. She could have teased him, taken him into her mouth and done positively sinful things with her tongue, but she was too impatient for that. She could tell he was, too - his breathing was already shallow and ragged and all she was doing was touching him. Moving forward, she straddled him, her eyelids fluttering shut as she sunk down on to his length. She let out a sigh that was more like a moan, her fingers digging into Sonny's shoulders as she started to rock against him, slowly at first. His hands palmed her ass as they found a rhythm, moving against each other like this was something they had always done.

Amanda's forehead dropped against his as she hung her arms from around his neck. She caught his mouth in a series of sloppy kisses, then his jaw, then his earlobe. She couldn't resist nipping at the flesh there, teeth sharp and breath hot, and in response, he jerked beneath her with a groan. Her knees dug into the cushions of the couch as she ground back into him, their pace becoming quicker and more desperate by the second. Panting against the crook of Sonny's neck, she squeezed her eyes closed. At this rate, she was going to come again - she could feel the ache building in the pit of her stomach, growing more and more intense the harder he met the roll of her hips. He was setting the rhythm now - she was just along for the ride. His palm collided with her ass before he possessively gripped the flesh there again, eliciting a sharp cry from Amanda, all of her muscles tensing around him in surprise.

"You like that, don't you?" he breathed hotly into her ear. "Are you gonna come for me again?"

The Staten Island lilt in his voice somehow made every word he said that much more provocative. He was the kindest person she had ever met- and she could have never anticipated how attractive it was to have him rough and lewd. "Mhm, yes," Amanda whined, because she was and in the moment she didn't care that he had all the power. Her hands moved to grip the arm of the couch behind him, knuckles white as she tried to maintain just the perfect angle atop him. Pressing closer and closer, her hair was falling in her eyes - these days it was longer than she had ever allowed it to get before, and now it was damp with sweat around her face. "Right there, ah, yes..." Her next orgasm shuddered through her only seconds before Sonny's; he groaned into the side of her head, his body tense and grip vice-like on her hip and ass.

Slowly, after a breathless minute of quiet, she uncurled herself from against him to sit up a little straighter. Her chest heaving, Amanda watched Sonny's head loll backward, chin to the ceiling as he panted. Gradually, his hold on her loosened, but he didn't let go. She was struck by the urge to kiss his exposed throat, but now that they weren't in the throes of passion, she wasn't sure he would appreciate the affection. Instead, she pressed one hand to his chest, atop his heart, and another to hers. His beat rapidly beneath her palm and hers fluttered frantically, too. She grinned, pleased.

Sonny lifted his head up to look at her, his cheeks pink and his hair disheveled. "Are you checkin' to see if I'm still alive?" His voice was husky but playful.

Amanda shook her head and carefully climbed off of him. She wasn't sure how to explain that for the first time in a very long while, she felt connected to somebody. To him. It wasn't merely some superficial, physical experience - it was deeper, running hot through her veins, and she wished she knew if he felt it, too. No, she thought to herself suddenly. He's just like all the others: a man who got what he had wanted all along. Don't waste time trying to read his mind; there probably isn't much there. She had to prepare herself for the very real possibility that Sonny would regret this later. He would most likely give her some stupid speech about 'ruining their friendship' or 'making things weird at work.' Even worse: they would keep having sex but he would find better women to actually date. Of course, Amanda would take any rejection in stride - but she wasn't sure how she would ever look him in the eye again.

"Well, I should go," she said awkwardly, acutely aware of her nakedness now. On her feet, she hopped into her underwear.

Sonny looked confused as he fumbled to get fully back into his boxers and jeans. "Hey, wait. Why? Where?"

She pulled her own jeans on and then found her bra. "Home, Carisi."

"I'll come with you," he told her, standing up quickly.

Amanda quirked a brow as she hooked her bra on. "Don't you have to study?"

"I'll do it later," Sonny insisted. "I mean, you need to eat dinner, don't you?"

Of course: everything with Carisi came back to food eventually. "I guess so, yeah..."

He pulled on his t-shirt, further disrupting his hair. "I'll make us something."

She blinked at him, still shirtless, in momentary awe. Amanda had half-expected something to shift between them immediately, like having sex with Sonny meant he would turn into some asshole who started coaxing her out the door the second he was no longer inside of her. Instead, he stood before her, totally and completely himself.

Amanda grinned cautiously. "Okay, yeah, that sounds..." Perfect, wonderful, like exactly what I want. "Nice."