Because I said so... another chapter for all loyal readers... and because I feel like a pile of shit for not having uploaded so long.
Harry came to them when Ron was asleep. Parcival and Lysander were reading the latest edition of the Quibbler together, while Cho entertained her cat – Crookshanks – with silly little tricks such as sparks that the half-kneazle would try to catch.
When Boy-Wonder entered their compartment, the comfortable silence they had shared a few moments earlier ebbed away and was replaced with an uncomfortable air of waiting. "Hermes." He greeted her and she set down her book, motioning him to sit down opposite of her – she knew him well enough to know that he came to her when he had problems.
He accepted the invitation, ignoring the looks of the three other wizards as he sat down, wringing his hands. Hermione closed her book completely, knowing that, whatever it was, he was not happy to have to seek her out like this – at least he felt guilty about using her the way he was.
"What is it this time?" she asked gently prying his hands apart and taking them confidently into her own – he didn't blush.
"Hermes, I have strange dreams." He started and for a moment she feared that he'd start to talk about those kinds of dreams, sure, she'd had them as well, but that didn't mean that she wanted to share them or even know if one of her house-mates had them. "I dream of… him."
The silence in the compartment was oppressive when three more pair of ears suddenly perked up, hoping to gather information to further any strategies – if Voldemort tried an attack this year again, it was best to know about it as soon as possible in order to prepare.
"The first… the first was about a man, a muggle, he… he was at the wrong time in the wrong place and… there was a giant snake, he called it Nagini, slithering through the darkness and then… green, like when Cedric… and then he was lifeless." The fifteen year old boy shivered as he recounted the details he could remember, the changing of perspectives now and then, the cold voice.
"You've been at Sirius' this summer, haven't you?" she asked calmly, purposefully turning his thoughts elsewhere, the black-haired wizard nodded enthusiastically. "What does he say?"
"Remus and Sirius suggested that… my scar may act as some sort of connection to him and that… it might have really happened."
Apparently though, neither Lupin nor Sirius had an idea on how to dispel the dreams and had instead continued to offer silent support – Ron, apparently, had no idea why his boyfriend woke up in the middle of the night, sweating blood and sometimes screaming for it to stop.
"There are methods to… close your mind, Potter. It is not simple, it requires discipline and concentration, not something you are known for, but I can imagine that with the right encouragement, and I guess that the wish for this to stop is encouragement enough, you might just be able to get the hang of it."
Harry would have to succeed, she figured, if knowledge got out that she could indeed do Occlumency she'd probably have a lot of explaining to do, and she'd lose an advantage in her fight against Snakeface. If he wouldn't be able to block her out after a few weeks, she'd have to erect her own barriers in his mind to keep her secret – it was a length she was prepared to go, simply for necessity.
The boy nodded and she let go of his hands. "Fine, meet me in the Common Room on Monday say… ten. I won't be free before and the sooner we get started, the better."
Standing up, he was about to go, when he stopped in the doorway, looking back at her. She had reopened her book, but now answered his stare. "You know… I may not have a single clue about where you spend your nights normally, but you can really get back to our dorm." He offered.
Hermes smiled genuinely. "Thank you, Potter, but I have found a room where I can put my cauldrons and feathers and dangerous books so that neither Weasley nor you are endangered to topple over either of them. I will keep your offer in mind, but do not be negatively affected if I do not follow it."
The black-haired boy nodded. "I understand I think." And then he was gone. Pansy looked up from the Quibbler.
"I think he's grown up somewhat over the summer."
Cho shook her head while she patted Crookshanks. "It has nothing to do with the summer. But reality finally kicked in – he realized that the years of fooling around will soon have been counted, that is what made him grow up."
Luna smirked at her friend, before opening her mouth. "You sound like a sage-wizard, Cho, are you sure you're not three-hundred-and-ninety already?" Cho sent a tickling jinx at her and the blond wizard howled in gleeful agony. Hermione laughed heartily as she watched the antics of her friends.
"Now, Potter, take a deep breath. In… out… very good, again. In… out, again…"
Hermione had been right to commence 'training' as soon as possible, Potter proved to be a dense nut. Of course she was aware that every wizard had their own method on how to clear their minds, but Potter's was so chaotic that she didn't really wonder he was easy to manipulate. His defences were nonexistent and she could knife through his thoughts like warm butter.
"Good… in… out, concentrate on your breathing… on your body, your own borders… very good… continue like that, good."
It appeared that finally she had found a way for Potter to finally concentrate on what he was doing rather on what he was thinking. Slowly he relaxed in his chair and Hermione watched as he lowered his head to his chest, still breathing.
"Yes, like that. In… out, deep breaths… good… now concentrate on your lungs only, feel the way the take the air in and the way they expel it."
Hermes would have never suggested that explaining Potter every step of the way would do the trick – he was such an intuitive wizard normally, simply winged it. Then again, Potter was clueless when it came to organization and Occlumency was nothing but organization, of thoughts and feelings, of what to keep and what to shove back, what to manipulate and what to create wholly anew.
"Now move your focus up higher… think of your nose as the air passes into it, as it passes out… deep breaths Potter, in… out, in…out…" Whatever she did, she did something right – it worked after all. "Good…now focus on your mind… keep your breaths even… there are thousands of thoughts bustling around… let them pass."
She watched as his even breaths continued, while he tried to ignore his thoughts, she shook her head. "Not ignore… watch them pass you… as if you sat on a meadow and watched your thoughts pass you like clouds in the sky until nothing but the clear firmament remains."
If she'd have known she had such a way with words, she'd have opted for teacher long ago… well maybe if she survived Hogwarts she'd try to apprentice somewhere and really become a teacher. Apparently she had the means to become one… well, that was if Potter would really manage to sufficiently master Occlumency.
As it was though, he was not all that bad what with watching his thoughts fly past him – the only problem was that they whirled around him like a tornado and threatened to swallow him again.
"Deep breaths Potter… control your breaths… in… out, now let them pass you, until the sky remains, a clear sky, concentrate on that sky, only on the vastness of the sky…"
Finally, she breathed, finally he'd snowed his thoughts out – it was a huge step forward, even though he only managed to keep the sky clear for a minute.
"It's alright." She placated him when he tried to regain the clear sky, but didn't manage to. "Let it go, you've done well for today. A minute is by far longer than I managed to hold it the first time. Open your eyes, slowly, and come back, you've done an exceptional job, trust me."
When Potter reopened his eyes, they had a new quality about them, something deeper she suspected. Luna had told her that she had gained a certain profoundness in her own eyes when she had finally mastered Occlumency – if that was the reason why professor Snape's eyes were so deep?
"Here, eat a little – trust me, mental exercise can be as tiring as a Quidditch game." She pushed a plate of prepared fruits towards him that Peetey had been kind enough to make them earlier, she nibbled a little on the last strawberries before the winter and thought of her strange encounter with the professor that summer, she'd been dreaming of him ever since.
"Do you think I'll be able to make it?" the black-haired boy finally asked her, interrupting her musings. She pinned him down with her quick eyes.
"Make what? Master Occlumency you mean?" The young man nodded, she shrugged in return. "Honestly, Potter, some wizards try all their life and never manage it, but this is your first lesson and thus far you've managed to clear your head for a minute at least – that's an improvement to nothing. I'd say train the clearing of your head, but knowing you that would be lost air, so… I guess that you might manage to master it, one day."
"Could you stop calling me 'Potter', Hermes? We've been friends since our first year." He finally said, obviously annoyed, Hermione slowly sat up in her fauteuil and stared at him, before she chose a very particular tone to speak with him, opting for soft, but determined.
"As I recall, Potter, you haven't talked to me since the Dragon-incident save for when you had problems and even before then might I remind you that our conversations have mostly been limited to you needing my help on anything study-related or saving your ass?" The young man blushed embarrassed, she continued. "I have tried, time and time again to be your friend, Potter. I feel no animosity towards you, but I do not think that we classify as friends."
"But I need you." He mumbled silently. "I just… can't choose between you or Ron, because while I need you for your insight, I need Ron for… my inside. How should I choose between the two of you?"
Hermione leaned back and grabbed another strawberry. "I never asked you to choose Potter, I asked for acknowledgment. I have been with you throughout all the years, have saved Weasley with you if I might remind you and I think that after what I have done to ensure your protection and both your… coming together unhindered, I should have at least deserved… something, I don't know." She looked up the ceiling. "In our third-year a 'Thank you' would have sufficed, and last year a 'Sorry for my stupid behaviour' would have sufficed. Now though… now I'm not sure that will suffice anymore. Don't get me wrong, Potter, I will stand by your side, save your hide whenever I can, but the title friend is not one I will easily accept anymore."
She stood, dusting off imaginary lints from her robes simply to not have to look at the ashamed face of Boy-Wonder, it seemed as if the reality of his actions had only now settled in. Cho might have been right after all, it might be reality that had made him grow up.
"Say," he stopped her, just when she was about to climb out of the Gryffindor common room, she turned around to see him have stood up and look at her directly, "the others, Lysander, Parcival and Cho… are they your friends?"
She smiled brightly. "They are, Potter, they have accompanied me through every phase since I know them and have never left my side – I repay them in kind and we hold tight, that's how friendship as I see it, should work. So yes, they are my friends, my closest friends."
It was December when Potter came to him – too late in his opinion, but his opinion was not asked, he was only a pawn, only a spy, his opinion did not matter.
"Occlumency, Mister Potter, is an old discipline and it will take everything of you to master it, or even just understand it, so be prepared to fail. Now," he drawled, "I will attempt to enter your mind and your task will be to keep me out and if I am in, to try to keep me from your thoughts. Ready?" he didn't really wait. "Legillimens."
He had thought to slide through his nonexistent defences like a rat would through the holes of a Swiss Cheese – as it was however, he realized that there were defences. Potter took deep breaths as he faced him off, feeding his mental walls. It took a little more than prodding to shatter the barriers and even then Potter managed quite some time to keep his mind blank.
All in all, Snape had to admit that the brat was better than he had originally assumed, but when the thoughts finally came flooding through, he searched for one in particular.
"Do you think I'll be able to make it?" he finally asked the bushy-haired man opposite of him. Granger pinned him down with his quick eyes.
"Make what? Master Occlumency you mean?" The young man nodded, and she shrugged in return. "Honestly, Potter, some wizards try all their life and never manage it, but this is your first lesson and thus far you've managed to clear your head for a minute at least – that's an improvement to nothing. I'd say train the clearing of your head, but knowing you that would be lost air, so… I guess that you might manage to master it, one day."
It was almost what he searched for, he replayed the whole memory, finally finding his thoughts confirmed. Granger knew how to occlude people and she had taught Potter, before Dumbledore had figured that training his one star-pupil in the old art would maybe solve the problems of the 'strange dreams' he'd had during the summer. Apparently they'd been too late.
"I see…" he drawled, "You've been working on it already, that's… good to know, Potter, you'll need it. However I had supposed you'd be… of another calibre, I will need to rethink our lessons. You may return to your tower."
Potter practically flew out of his office, Snape stayed behind, massaging his jaw – he had to investigate something.
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