Chapter Forty-Seven
Tuesday 30th July
Wasted Time
"I can't afford it," Harry said on the way back. "And I'm not living with that kitchen, because I can't afford a new one."
"But we could together, if you used my half of Leo's money." Nikki insisted.
"I'm not sure we could. Even if we use all the money from the sale of Leo's and my flat, I'd still have an enormous mortgage. I'm going to need a decent cash flow to get the business up and running, and I'd have to get the kitchen and bathroom redone. It's just not practical. I'd be £300,000 short at least. It's too much of a gamble. There's stamp duty and all the fees too, it all adds up."
Nikki stared out of the window of the car all the way back to Leo's.
"There'll be something else, I'll just keep looking." Harry said to break the silence.
"But I know you liked it."
"I loved it Nikki, but it doesn't mean I can have it."
"No, sometimes you have to wait," she'd said cryptically.
"Do you want me to drop you at yours or Leo's?"
"My car's at Leo's and I've got laundry to collect. Leo's is fine."
They started work on the books after making a quick pasta meal. Harry could see her reflected in the glass of the book case he was emptying. Her buoyant mood of earlier had vanished, her movements had taken on a tired and defeated look again.
"I'm sorry about the house Nikki."
"That's ok. It just had so much potential. The estate agent said they might be willing to take an offer."
"Not at £350,000 under the asking price!"
"It had a good feeling. I liked it." She'd not turned round but spoken in to her book shelf. "You're right to be careful though. It just seems that everything is always just out of our reach." She said reaching up to the top shelf for yet another book.
"Everything?" he questioned turning to look at her.
"Everything that makes me happy," she replied but didn't turn round. "Don't you find it quiet in here? You never have the radio on." She said after another long pause.
"Did you see Leo's CD collection?"
She turned then and rifled through the box that Harry indicated, found one and stuck it in the machine. It was one of the few things left in the room that hadn't been packed up, apart from the books. Harry recognised the album from the first introduction, 'Hotel California' by The Eagles. He wondered how long it would take before she turned it off.
'You're afraid it's all been wasted time,'
About four tracks then, he smiled and went back to his silence.
That was another night she'd stayed over. She claimed that she slept better in the spare room at Leo's and Harry was glad of the company. Jorge had uploaded a clip of one of his shows and the two of them watched it together, their heads nearly touching as they stared at Harry's laptop screen.
"He's even better than he was in New York," Nikki said.
"Some things improve with time then?" Harry asked.
"Not everything," she answered running her hand through the hair at his temple and above his ears. "You are aware you're going grey?"
"Distinguished, is the word you're looking for I believe, and I'm not," he tilted his head around for her at this point, "Going bald!"
She giggled and took hold of the hand he had used to point to the crown of his head. It had been a long time since they had sat side by side holding hands.
"How's your sunflower doing?" Harry asked.
"It's the only thing that keeps me going home. It's about 6 inches tall now. For some reason the downstairs toilet doesn't seem to be working properly, I haven't used the dishwasher for ages but I seem to recall that making odd noises the last time I used it.
"First the washing machine, then the downstairs toilet and the dishwasher, the whole house is falling apart. Or is there a problem with the water supply? Do you own the pipes outside or does the council?"
"I think the council does, it could be the water pressure I suppose."
Maybe you just need a new house?" Harry said carelessly and then realised exactly what he had said.
"I'm considering it," she replied.
Harry quickly recalculated his sums of earlier. His flat and Leo's house and they'd easily be short but if Nikki sold her house too…
"Night Harry, I'll see you in the morning." She said breaking his reverie and giving his hand a squeeze.
"Night, Nikki; sleep well."
She paused in the doorway and without turning back said quietly,
"Harry, that letter you wrote me. You did mean it didn't you?"
She'd spoken so softly it was almost as if he'd imagined it, she still had her face turned away.
"Every word," he replied honestly. When he looked up again, she was gone, but he was sure she'd heard his answer. It was the first time she'd even acknowledged that first page. He shut down the computer and switched if off at the plug socket, he collected a glass of water and then followed her upstairs but it was a long time before he fell asleep.
Wasted Time: The Eagles
