I own nothing save the plot. The characters, and show are all property of Brenda Hampton, ABCFAMILY & the producers of "THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER".

LEARNING CURVE & ENLIGHTMENT

As, Ben felt Alice's tongue probe his mouth, he slowly began to wrap his arm around her. She returned the action and wrapped hers around his neck, pulling him closer to her. As they embraced, and began to lose themselves in the moment, Ben broke from the kiss, and looked at Alice deeply. She also looked him in the eyes and pulled her tank over her head revealing, her lacey black and pink satin bra to Ben. Ben was shocked in seeing Alice like this, he would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about being with Alice. He had once imagined being with Alice like this, but that was long ago before, she and Henry had ever gotten together. Many times he would day dream about being with Alice, and dream about it as well.

He also had to admit that he even had his first wet dream to thoughts of being with Alice, but that was when he was a kid of only eleven. Now he was seventeen, not a virgin any longer and right now being here with Alice half naked in his bedroom, in his bed was not a dream. As they still continued their embrace he slowly pulled Alice under the covers of his bed. It was at that moment that he caught sight of his computer screen. It was weird he thought he didn't remember leaving it on and as he began to forget about it, an image appeared on the screen. Their on the screen for only a moment was a picture of Ben and Adrian on the side of Mercy.

Even though Mercy never lived to even be a day old, Ben had gotten a computer program which would allow him to see what she would look like if she had lived. Ben, got the program from Henry, as a gift months ago when Adrian and Ben asked him to be the baby's God Father. The young girl was beautiful she appeared to be the age of three, and had all of Adrian's characteristics. She had Ben's eyes however and a paler skin tone. But, the child was truly beautiful, and had the joyful glint in her eyes similar to Ben's and had Adrian's mischevious smile.

Alice at that time grabbed Ben's head and tried to get him to focus back on their current endeavor. Ben what's wrong, she asked sounding annoyed. I can't Alice, he replied. Why not, she stated with an angry tone. Because, if we did this then we would be no better off than Adrian, and Henry. You're my friend Alice, and considering I am running out of those, I'd like to keep the only one I have left, he replied.

But Ben, you can't look at me and tell me you haven't thought of doing this with me. She said dryly and looking at him with her annoyed face. Alice, you and I have been through a lot together, and I made the mistake of sleeping with a friend once, to get back at someone I loved, and I'd like to think I am learning from my mistakes, he said with a cool tone. Now Ben, she replied with annoyance.

You chose right now to decide that you are going to start learning from your mistakes. Well, Alice you were the one who said you didn't want me to do anything stupid, and we both know that this is not a smart idea. But, Ben she started. Alice, I love you as a friend. No, more than a friend you're family, and I couldn't live with myself to think that I had sex with you simply to get back at Adrian and Henry. We have been friends too long, and gone through to much together to do that, stated Ben.

I know, you're right Ben. But, I just feel so hurt for what Hank did. Not that I feel bad for myself for him having sex with someone else, but that he had sex with Adrian knowing how much it would hurt you. I thought I knew Hank better than that. I thought our relationship, and his friendship with you meant more to him than that. She told him almost apologetically. Well, I guess it didn't. Ben said choking back the anger, and sadness in his voice. But, our friendship does mean more to me than that, and I don't intend on changing it. Ben stated. I guess it shouldn't change Alice said with a smile. She slowly began to separate herself from Ben and place her shirt back on.

She then turned to Ben, and asked. Ben, I know that we aren't going to do anything, but can I see it. What! He asked almost screaming. Well, I kind of felt it while we were you know, and I just got curious. Alice. Ben said. Come on Ben you felt my boob. Okay, he breathed, and removed the covers. Then he pulled down his boxers, and pajama bottoms to reveal his now deflating member. Wow! Was Alice's only reply. I kind of see how you accidently got Adrian pregnant. I'm glad we didn't go through with it because, I only have condoms for Henry, and he is nowhere near that size.

Alice, Ben said sternly I really don't want to stay here showing you my privates , while we discuss Henry's. I have a lot on my mind and I really just want to get back to sleep, Ben answered back. I know she said as she gathered her things and headed toward the door. Ben, she said looking back I know that we did the right thing by not having sex right now, and I know that we would have regretted it later. But, I am not ashamed for kissing you like that. Alice. Ben was about to reply. Ben, she said stopping him. I know that we are just friends, and that's all we probably ever will be, and I'm glad because I value our friendship, I really do. But, I also have to admit I've thought about you in that way. Even when I was with Henry. Because I was jealous of Amy, Adrian, and even Grace when you were with them.

Because, I have always known, and appreciated the great guy you were, and it killed me that they could all be so stupid to want Ricky, and Jack over you. Don't get me wrong, they are probably both great guys, somewhere deep down, but neither has anything on you. Because neither, has your heart, confidence, or your integrity. And I really hope one day you find the girl who will see all that I see in you and not make the same mistake as those idiots. And Alice I hope someday that a guy, sees in you what I see. Your, beauty, grace, wisdom, and heart. Not too mention you have great boobs. Also Henry was the biggest fool for breaking up with you. Now, I can understand why he can't do well on test, he really is an idiot. said Alice. Yeah, I guess he is Ben replied.

Alice then left leaving Ben alone and somewhat proud of himself for not taking advantage of his friend, as he did to Adrian last year. Adrian, he thought to himself….. WHY? Was all he could say. Did he do something wrong last night when he left to talk to Dylan. He, asked her if she was going to be okay, and she actually pushed him to go. But, still maybe he shouldn't have. Adrian, was already vulnerable, after what Amy and Ricky did, not to mention humiliated. AMY & RICKY, he grimaced.

Why is it he thought do all of my problem's, and Adrian's revolve around those two. If it had not been for those two, maybe Adrian, and I would not be here right now getting divorced, and living as only friends. If they were still friends after last night, he had not decided. He began to think about all the literature he had read, on pregnancy and remembered that stress can cause harm to a fetus, and Amy's little stunt with the shower, and hallway scene. All of that definitely caused Adrian stress, and Amy did know about it since she had read those same books herself when she was pregnant with John.

But, no he thought I can't blame them for what happened to Mercy, but what happened last night is their fault. I always thought Amy, and Ricky had more respect for people than that, but I guess I gave them too much credit. The nerve of PRETTY RICKY, and Amy walking into a party filled with all of Adrian's classmates, and kiss her in front of them. Then walk off hand in hand like some royal couple after having the nerve to get engaged in front of the entire school. Those two have some balls, he said out loud. Ricky, of all people asking Amy to marry him after arguing with him about marrying Adrian. Now, I guess since she and I are divorcing they want to live the fairy tell life.

He sat up in his bed, and placed his hands behind his head, and began to think of all that had transpired for he and Adrian since they met Adrian and Ricky. Amy lied to me about not sleeping with Ricky. She lied to me about not being pregnant, and even though I asked her repeatedly if she had feelings for Ricky she lied about that as well. Ricky, was the same with Adrian, he lied about not wanting to be a father to John. He lied about wanting him to be John's father. He lied about loving Adrian. He lied about, not trying to steal Amy from him. He also lied about trying to be his friend.

As he sat there in bed, Ben began to open his eyes to much that had happened in his life. Amy Jeurgens was a girl whom he thought was his first love, and possibly the love of his life, but was she? Sure when they were together, he loved it but after a while it became a chore. Even though he thought he was clingy so he gave her space she seemed to be distant from him, yet she never really distanced herself from Ricky. She whined constantly about not wanting to have anything to do with him yet it never stopped her from running to him whenever they had a fight.

In all the time that they had been together Ben, realized that Amy told him she loved him, but yet he realized she had no feeling when she said it. When Adrian, told him she loved him, he always believed her, from the very beginning. She would look at him and he could see the sparkle in her eyes when she said it. Adrian, despite their relationship now, had always been honest, even when she kicked him out of the condo. But, Amy was different. He always felt as if he was playing some kind of game with her.

She never really let him know what was on her mind, and anytime she saw him with another girl she became jealous, yet she thought he was the jealous one when she was with Ricky. Sure, John was his son, but if he was her boyfriend why wouldn't he be jealous of Ricky in her bedroom, when not even he went in there. Just like when the topic of sex came up. Two years, almost two years they were together and she complained every time when he even went near the topic. Yet, you couldn't even date Ricky without sex being part of the relationship. So, when was all Ben could think, when did they have sex first.

He began to ponder that subject, and remembered that they were both cozy and very affectionate, right after. Right, after Mercy's death! They didn't even wait till my daughter was cold before they slept together. Did they do it, as a way to celebrate. Adrian, and I were broken, and they were having sex while our daughter was dead.

Ricky, that pompous jerk, he took Amy, and Adrian from me without even trying. He played with Adrian's heart like it was a yoyo. I guess Adrian was no different from any other girl to him he thought. And so was he. Yeah, he was, or tried to be Ricky's friend, but what kind of friend. He thought Ricky was his friend when he came to see him after his dad's wedding, to force him back with Amy, but why did he later fly to New York only to steal Amy away from him. A kiss, a kiss from Ricky, always seems to ruin my life. It was his kiss to Amy that ruined my chances with Amy, and made me sleep with Adrian. It was also a kiss from Ricky to Adrian, that now ruined, both my friendship with Henry, and Adrian. All the while Ricky gets it all.

He has my family's apartment, and a job at our butcher shop. He now has the first woman I ever loved, a child that I wanted to be mine. He had Bunny a woman, whom was like a mother to him, after his own had died. He even had Adrian play the part of his sex puppet one last time, and a full scholarship ride to college. He even had the love, and respect of his father. My father he thought. A fool he thought, I have been a fool this whole time. I have let nothing, but users, and liars into my life for so long.

No more. He took his wedding ring from its hiding place, and laid it inside the picture frame of his mother. He turned on his computer and looked at the picture of his daughter and said. NO MORE MERCY! I promise from this point on I will do my best to take back everything Amy and Ricky have ever taken from me. I promise to be the man that would make you, and my mom both proud of me.

I promise I will never again make stupid mistakes, and fall into the trap that people like Ricky, and Amy have put in front of me. I also promise Mercy, to help your mother become the woman that you would be proud to call your mom. Even if she and I aren't together, I swear I will be there for her whenever she needs me because I know that is what you would have wanted. And, I'm sorry for not being the man, and husband she needed me to be when you died.

But, I swear on my life I won't make those mistakes, again and neither will she. And it starts by throwing out that pot I bought today. Ben, then walked to his drawer took the marijuana, and matches from where he had hidden them, and headed downstairs to dispose of them. As he was headed to the door he ran into his father and accidentally dropped the items on the floor in front of him. Benjamin WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, was all Leo could say, as he leaned down and picked up the items.