I'm sure you're all too young to remember Statler and Waldorf on the muppets, but that is who came to mind when I was working on this bit. They were two puppets that passed comments usually negative on proceedings from a box in the theatre.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Sunday 15th December 2013
'And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.'
"Are you sure Harry was teaching at New York University last year?" Audrey asked her friend Anne.
"Why?"
"Because he does seem to have come back with some odd ideas and even odder friends," Audrey went on.
"What do you mean?"
"Well it would be no shame admitting he'd been in one of those clinics you know, they're quite popular these days. It's the in thing."
"Are you suggesting that Harry wasn't working in America but was in rehab or something for a year and I just 'said' he was in New York?"
"Oh no, not rehab; just the funny farm. I thought nervous breakdowns were compulsory amongst the driven forty something's nowadays. He's certainly been through the mill recently."
"Audrey, Harry did not have a nervous breakdown, he taught at NYU for a year and then came back and started his own; and might I say successful business. Where do you think his best men came from?" She gestured to the beautiful table decoration and then to the table on her right where Harry and Nikki were sat in pride of place.
"Well looking at them Anne dear, he was just as likely to find them in the funny farm as he was in New York, did you see them? And it was rather peculiar that they all arrived together like that. Not traditional at all."
"But Harry isn't very traditional, and what was the poor girl supposed to do? She's got no family to speak of, I thought it was clever idea."
"Hmm," Audrey pronounced. "It did rather put me in mind of the Wizard of Oz; at least they didn't all skip along the path together."
Anne gave a small snigger and covered her mouth. "I hope you don't think my son is Tin Man, Scarecrow or Cowardly Lion,"
"Usually I'd go for Scarecrow, only he's always had the brains. No, he looks very handsome today. He does take after his father doesn't he?"
"In many ways," Anne agreed.
"Wasn't the other 'American' one Toto?" giggled Audrey, taking a swig of her wine.
"No, his name's Beto."
"Close enough!" Audrey shrugged.
Anne looked towards the circular table with her son, his new wife and their friends. They were all laughing.
"So which one was best man and which one was matron of honour?" Audrey asked.
"I don't think it matters, that's why they all walked down the aisle, arm in arm, all four of them."
"It was lucky the place had wide aisles! I've never known anyone get married in a greenhouse before."
"It's not a greenhouse, it's a Conservatory; the Nash Conservatory at Kew Gardens, it couldn't get more beautiful."
"Don't you think the music seemed a bit funereal?"
"It was just a cello piece. Neither of them have had an easy time recently."
"I just found it a bit mournful,"
"It suited them beautifully," Anne said pointedly. "I thought it all went very well. Anything else and you'd have been singing 'Somewhere over the Rainbow,' it was probably a good thing it was as it was!"
"Do you like her dress?" Audrey asked.
"Yes, it's stunning. Simple and elegant, I went with her when she tried some on. You would not believe how hideous some of the gowns were. I tried not to influence her, but I couldn't have chosen a better one myself. It suits her perfectly."
"No veil though,"
"Well it's not a church wedding and I don't think anyone is under any illusions about a virgin bride."
Both Audrey and Anne giggled. For all their bickering they were good friends and had been for years.
"She did well to find sunflowers for her bouquet, not really Christmassy colours."
"No, that was one thing she did insist on. I quite like them; it makes the place brighter than a lot of dark red and green."
"You don't think she's a bit on the skinny side?"
"She's looking better than she did a few months ago!" Anne added dryly.
Audrey rolled her eyes in surprise.
"She doesn't seem to be drinking much," she said staring at the table next to her and taking another sip from her own glass. "I like the wine," she added.
"I'm sure she wants to enjoy the day, it would be a real waste to create this beautiful wedding and then not remember it."
"No complaints about the food either," Audrey said.
"It's been exquisite."
"Yes, I agree, but you have to admit it's a strange time to have a wedding."
"Why does Saturday afternoon have the monopoly on weddings? Sunday at one seems reasonable."
"Well I've never been to a wedding before at one o'clock on a Sunday!"
"They had their reasons, one of the guest's couldn't make Saturday. Harry seemed particularly pleased that it was a Sunday. There's a lot he doesn't tell me; I am only his mother."
"But if they wanted a civil ceremony, why did they have that minister come in and do the prayers and a blessing? Wouldn't they have been better off in a church?"
"Like I said, they like to do things their own way and that priest owed Harry a favour."
"A favour?"
"Mm hmm," Anne nodded.
"Why would a priest owe Harry a favour?"
"He was one of Harry's first clients."
"The priest?"
"Yes. But the priest was acting on behalf of a homeless man. I'm not sure how Harry and Rev. Michael met, but his church runs a lunch club, food bank and shelter for the homeless. Maybe Harry donated something to them. Anyway one of the regular users of the lunch club died and his family thought it was suspicious."
"His family, I thought you said he was homeless?"
"He was, but by choice. He had contact with his family on occasions. One of his grandchildren needed a kidney; he'd offered to be a donor."
"What's this got to do with Harry and the priest?"
"The priest was working on behalf of the family and asked Harry to check if the death was suspicious or not. The police weren't interested with the death of a homeless man. Harry agreed to look into it, but as the priest didn't have much money so the two of them came to some agreement."
"And Harry found?"
"He'd been deliberately poisoned."
"Who would poison a homeless man?"
"Turns out, he was a banker that had had some kind of breakdown, chose to live on the streets, but had plenty of money. Lots of money in fact. Harry's investigations proved he'd been murdered so the police had to investigate. They found the safety deposit box where he stashed his money. The theory is the poisoner found out the man was rich and tried to get his hands on the money."
"But?"
"When the will was found in the safety box, the man had made a very generous donation to the church that had taken care of him through the years and the rest to his family."
"That's some story."
"Yes, the poor priest was mortified, making Harry work for peanuts and then profiting from the will so…"
"He owed Harry a favour."
"He did. A prayer and a blessing seemed the least he could do. I think he's recommended a few more clients to Harry. He works at a church near their new house."
"It doesn't sound very conventional."
"From what I can make out St Cecilia's is not a conventional church."
"That was fortunate for them. No wonder they fit in well in that neighbourhood.
"Harry's never been one to follow the crowd has he?" Anne smiled.
"No he always was a little quirky. His business must be flourishing for them to afford it all."
"They were left a house when a friend of theirs died, they managed to sell it and its contents for quite a tidy sum, I think the wedding would have been more modest otherwise."
"So what has made Harry's business so successful? Is there much call for freelance pathologists?"
"I think the work has been steady. He's got quite an internet following after one of his first clients gave his work a lot of exposure and the recommendations keep enough coming in.
"Oh look, I think the speeches are going to start," Audrey said. "Are they going to be good?" she raised an eyebrow at her friend.
"I can't think what you mean!" Anne replied with a shudder. She was suddenly grateful that his best man had only known her son for a short while.
Over The Rainbow: Arlen and Harburg (Judy Garland)
