AN: Okay, so the more you guys comment, I'm serious, the more I have visions of what I want to happen, and I think I have about three more chapters in my head at the moment, and a general direction I want the story to head in and end.
SO, in saying that, I want to hear little moments you guys would like to see in here between our girls, or them/one of them and Henry, or whatever. Things you want to see in the story period. I will warn you if you're talking major plot points, it won't happen. I know where it's going to go (in a very general sense), so I'll stick to my own ideas with that. But I'd love to hear what you guys want to see. Maybe I'll use some of them in other stories? I DON'T KNOW.
Thank you again for your support, You guys are the best. Reviews make me smile. You are loved.
Regina kept staring up at the ceiling as though something would pop out and tell her what to do.
From the moment Emma left, all she could think about was what she said. How she said it. How she looked at her so honestly and offered her this wisdom that hadn't even crossed her mind.
Content.
Thinking on it, she didn't even know if she was. She'd spent so much time worrying and fixing and trying so hard to make everything work that she didn't bother to think if all of it amounted to happiness, or even being content. It didn't occur to her that all of the craziness wouldn't just dissolve itself into oblivion once they were married, or once Henry and Graham finally had that moment where they finally understood each other. All she thought about was getting to tomorrow, hopefully with a few smiles.
But smiles weren't simply given freely around her home anymore. Except for tonight. When they were doing dishes, or talking... or anything. She'd never really had any friends that were women - maybe it was just nice, and different to have her around.
In any case, Regina's mind had been spinning in the same few threads for hours now. She tried to twist her ring on her finger, still not used to actually wearing it, but it was a little tight. She remembered laughing and nodding as Graham got up off of his knee, saying he got it a half a size small so she wouldn't lose it like all of her other jewelry. And before tonight she didn't think anything of the fact he didn't notice she didn't wear much jewelry, and when she did it was the same few pieces. She didn't lose any, it was simply that she didn't own very much in the first place. Money could be spent on more important things.
Her head turned gently, looking at the half naked man in her bed and wondering if she was making the right decision.
But they'd been so happy - it'd been one of the easiest relationships she had until Henry found out. Maybe it was because she could easily budget her time between the two of them instead of the three going on outings together. It had become harder and harder to find alone time for either, even when cutting it off almost altogether with herself.
She sighed heavily and rolled over, putting her cheek and her hand on Graham's shoulder.
He shifted a bit and Regina began to smile as his arms wrapped around her.
But he squeezed for a second before turning over on his stomach.
Once again, the brunette scooted closer, draping an arm over his back but he moved it away almost immediately with a grunt. "It's too hot."
His voice was gruff with sleep, but it stung anyway.
"Then take some of the blankets off." She whispered.
He sighed and turned his face toward her, not opening his eyes. "I'm comfortable."
"I'm not."
"Give it a minute."
Regina ripped the blankets from her side of the bed and put her pajama bottoms on.
"Regina-"
"I'm getting a glass of water, would you like anything?"
He rolled over again, clearing his throat and putting his hands to his head. "Don't be ridiculous."
"Your accent is ridiculous."
She walked out of the room quickly, closing the door behind her and stopping at the top of the staircase.
What right did she have anyway? Coming into her life so abruptly and saying these stupid things that kept her up all night long and made her go insane. Who did that? Especially not the birth mother of her son - just sauntering in to their home and acting like she'd always been there... fitting in without even trying. Making them laugh.. and being so selfless as to put her life on hold because Henry wanted to know her.
Regina looked at Henry's door, not knowing if he knew just what he did by finding this woman.
It wasn't about her. Regina had to think about what was best for him, not if Emma being present would continue to throw a wrench in things.
"As if they were going so smoothly before..." She whispered to herself.
The brunette opened Henry's door quietly, smiling at seeing the little boy in his pajamas and comics laying all around him. She cleaned quickly and quietly, putting everything in it's own place before sitting next to him.
As soon as his mattress shifted, the little boy turned and wrapped his arm over Regina's thigh.
She didn't understand the tears coming to her eyes, but let them fall. Without a second thought she pulled the blankets back as gently as she could, slipping underneath the covers with her son and holding him close.
Shit.
Emma woke up yawning, wishing she could go back to sleep, and immediately after wondering how Henry woke up. If he was like her in any way, and what he liked to eat for breakfast. And then breakfast made her think of Regina in pajamas and that apron again, and how she would love to just sit with them and wake up peacefully in the morning and get ready for the day. Maybe go to a normal job and pop out a few more babies, or adopt from Nigeria or Oregon or wherever Regina wanted to.
And she knew she was in too deep. For Christ sake, back in New York she barely knew six people by name not including the bikini barista she frequented – now all that crossed her mind was a good dose of home-wrecking and then starting a family with two of the three said residents in said home. Not that she would, but she would sure as hell think about it, if only for the images.
The left overs in the mini-fridge did nothing to stop that either, but having them around was awesome. Having breakfast that wasn't made specifically in the microwave was cool. And by the time Emma got around to heading to the diner, she was happily stuffed, asking for a coffee to-go.
"No hot coco?"
Emma shook her head, willing herself to keep eye contact with the younger woman. What about her job description required her to wear these kind of prostitute-y clothes in her grandmother's diner.
"You know I could make that to-go, too."
"Nah, I think today is a coffee day."
Ruby shrugged and turned over the mug waiting in front of her. "What do you like in it?"
"Black is fine – I might add a little sweetener."
"Speaking of sweetener…" She raced to put the pot back and came back with a little yellow sticky note. "The mayor might want a little sugar later."
Emma gulped. "What?"
The waitress tapped the paper with Regina's name on it and the number to her cell phone, the house and her office.
"It's not like that-"
"Not on the week days, or not at all?" She squinted.
The blonde shoved the yellow scrap into her pocket and angrily shook sugar packets into her coffee. "It's nothing… like at all. I'm not even here for her- I mean not really. She wasn't…" Emma took a deep breath, knowing her face would be glowing by now. "It's not your business but we aren't doing anything."
"But you want to."
Emma rolled her eyes. "No I don't!"
"Oh, please. You pinged my gay-dar so hard I'm still vibrating."
"That's pathetic." Emma pointed at her. "Don't use a line from Will and Grace on me. I swear to god I will call every single one of them out."
Ruby smiled. "But you are gay, right?"
"That's-"
"Not my business, I know! It never is, yet I still know everything that happens in this sleepy old town."
Emma sighed and played with her spoon in her coffee. "Sure, something like that."
"Like bi?"
"Like... sort of an equal opportunity... friend with benefits."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I don't really care? Dudes are boring, but they're still good for… one thing, right? And-"
"And girls are hot, and interesting."
"Sure."
Ruby pulled up her own stool on the other side of the counter. "Why are you so shy?"
"I just don't like people in my business. And I don't like waving a flag around or wearing rainbows all the time – it's not like that's the only thing about me, or the thing you should learn first when you meet someone, it's stupid and obnoxious.. So, my name is Emma, and I'll probably be coming and going from now on and that's all anyone needs to know."
"Okay." She raised her hands in surrender. "Anything else I can get for you?"
"Yeah – a to-go cup."
Ruby rolled her eyes, but did what was asked of her, topping it off after she poured the contents of the mug into it.
"Thank you." She took it and threw a few bills on the table before leaving.
The only thing she got in her car for was her sunglasses, then Emma decided on strolling down streets until she ran into some place that looked like she could buy underwear in case she stayed an extra night. Though the crumpling in her pocket led her to put the numbers in her phone rather than do much looking around. She flipped through the numbers, a sinking feeling happening when she realized they were the only ones with a specific name attached to them other than the guy who she paid her rent to. And she didn't even know his first name.
Emma settled on Regina's cell before opening a new text message.
-Where are cheap apartments around here?-
Not a moment later her hand buzzed obnoxiously.
-Who is this?-
-Do you usually give your number out to random people? It's Emma-
-Hello. I can help you look on my lunch hour. Could you be at my office at noon?-
-Sure, where is it?-
-Follow Main until you see the big white building.-
Emma grinned.
-Thank you for explaining it to me so my inferior intellect can understand ;) –
There was a longer pause, this time.
-No problem :P-
Emma laughed at her phone screen, her fingers tingling, wanting to write back, but she didn't have to. Her phone buzzed again.
-I had to look up what that face was and I found more on the internet.-
-I've officially broadened your horizons.-
-Don't flatter yourself, Miss Swan.-
About an hour into talking about nothing, Emma was about a step and a half from being completely in love with the lipstick stains on Regina's coffee cup. She kept pointing at little red dots on the map of the town and telling her about each place - only two actual apartment buildings, and not a ton to chose from as far as living arrangements went.
Then Regina's face lit up before she started shaking her head. "I'm such an idiot."
"What?" Emma smiled again, her head resting on her knuckles peacefully.
"Henry's teacher is getting ready to move out of her apartment - she's moving into a house she's buying and it would be perfect." She turned the screen and typed for a second, and a few clicks later she showed her this cozy little loft place. "What do you think?"
Emma nodded. "I think it looks like a home."
"You say that like it's a negative."
"No, no... I've just... I've never lived in a place like that. I haven't lived anywhere for more than a year at a time."
The brunette turned the monitor back and started working again. "Why?" Her eyes not peering up from the screen.
"I have a habit of not getting too comfortable."
Her hands stilled for a moment but she didn't look up.
"Not that I plan on doing that now."
"It's alright."
"No it's not." Emma crossed her arms on the desk and laid her head on top of them, looking sideways at Regina. "I'm not just going to run out on him. The more I think about him, the more I want to figure out what it is my role to him is. I think him showing up what on purpose."
Regina smiled. "You do?"
"Yeah..." She sighed for a second, and thought if she should even share - but between the look in Regina's eye and the way she was sure she was looking back, Emma tilted her head and looked at paperwork she had no idea the purpose of. "Henry came and found me on my birthday. And not two seconds after I made a wish on this stupid little cupcake I bought myself."
It seemed like there was quiet for a long time, then Regina leaned forward and let her eyes go a little hazy. "What did you wish for."
Emma laughed. "I..." She rolled her head so it sat upright on her arms. "I wished I didn't have to be alone on my birthday."
White teeth peered at her from behind the shade of purple covering Regina's lips that were slowly arcing into a crescent shape.
"Me of all people, who's done nothing but strive for solitude and building up walls... and there he was, ready to drink all of my orange juice and have me be a part of his life."
"He's something special."
Emma nodded. "Yeah, he is. He didn't... like, have any spite or anything for me giving him up. And I don't think he overlooked it, either. I think he just honestly didn't care."
"It never really bothered him." Regina offered. "I got him in therapy as a precaution because I read that so many adopted children have trouble with posing that awful question to themselves; why wasn't I wanted."
"And he never did that, did he."
"Never." Regina shook her head.
"Because you wanted him."
She smiled again, this time a bit more strained, like tears were going to spill if she wasn't careful.
Then a noise came from the computer and Regina moved her mouse, clicking before there was a different smile. "Ms. Blanchard just emailed me back - she says she's moving this weekend and starting to show her apartment next weekend."
"Okay."
Regina sighed and folded her arms. "Would you like to come back then and see it then?"
"Do I have to wait that long to come visit again?"
"No." Regina looked down as her grin widened. "Not if you don't want to."
"I don't."
Their eyes stayed trained on one another for a long moment before Regina leaned forward on her elbows, tilting her head to the side. And even though they were across the desk from one another, she could just see herself moving a hair away from the other woman's lips and letting her decide if she wanted to make that jump or not. But she stayed, gazing up at this person who was disgustingly attractive, and did nothing.
"It makes me a bit nervous that you're so sure of this."
"Me too." She admitted, hating the tenderness in both of their voices. It definitely made it harder to try and keep all the stupid feelings at bay.
Regina kept looking at her like she was searching for something. "Then why not take it slow- step by step until you're absolutely sure Henry can count on you to be there."
"Because if I give myself the option, I think I'll convince myself he's better without me again." Emma nodded carefully, sitting back up and tucking her hands beneath her thighs. "And I think I need this a little bit too. I mean, I'm going to be thirty in a couple of years.. which I hear is a milestone or something. And I've never had anything that resembled a commitment other than bills. I think I could do some of growing up."
"Taking on the responsibility of a child will definitely force adulthood on someone."
"But it's good, right?" Emma smiled at her toes, not understanding her openness with this woman. Even if she was stupid hot. "It's like finding another part of yourself."
"It's like growing." Regina's mom voice peered out behind the soft expression on her face - Emma could tell she knew that she had to be delicate. "Everyone says when you look at your baby you realize things about the world that you couldn't ever see before. I think we see all of those things, because I think women are painfully aware of what we have and what we don't most of the time. I just think motherhood... is a choice that makes us understand more about appreciation and love. When you allow yourself the opportunity, to love another thing with every bit of what you are, the world doesn't change, and the things you saw before don't change. The world is all the same, but the way in which you see it is different. Like you've grown a few inches."
Emma sniffed and started to blink tears away. "Well, shit."
The brunette just laughed and turned to her computer again, and typed away until Emma could compose herself. And by the time she dared to glance back, her face was still a bit red but she'd been able to replace that easy nonchalance in her demeanor.
"Would you like to come with me to pick Henry up from school? So you could tell him the good news."
Emma nodded, feeling her eyes start to burn again. "Yeah... that'd be cool." She laughed at herself even though she'd like nothing more than to bang her head against the wall. "Isn't he a still couple hours from getting out, though."
"Yes. So why don't we go get some lunch?"
"Yeah?"
Regina made a few more clicks before standing up. "Well, we have to eat, don't we?"
Emma stood as well, pushing in her chair and shoving her hands in her pockets. "Does everyone crumble to tears around you?"
"Oh, hardly." She pulled her purse over her shoulder. "Usually people are find me either incredibly intimidating or a terrible bitch."
"Geez, Tarantino - how about you calm down the language."
Regina walked rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. It's strange - the second I ran for mayor everyone changed their opinion of me. Not that I cared, I was the only one qualified for the position and I don't mind being the most intelligent person in the room, but others do, apparently."
"Confidence can be off-putting at times. People can just think it's arrogance."
"I don't think it's that. I knew people wouldn't know what to do with a woman as mayor, and if I wanted to be taken seriously I would have to be stern and state exactly what I thought as plainly as I thought it, and stay firm in where I stood on my opinions. And I think people are both afraid and resentful of that fact."
"Either way - I think you're doing a pretty good job. Everything I've seen so far is running smoothly." Emma held the door open.
"Thank you." She said to both the courtesy and the complement. "I try - it's not always appreciated, or when it is it's not often, but I see my own efforts and I don't need anyone else to validate me."
"That's a hell of a lot more than most people."
"I'd imagine you feel somewhat similarly." She wrapped her scarf around her neck before they ventured outside. Emma furrowed her brow and Regina shrugged. "Well, your career is fairly thankless, but you must be good at it - you can afford two apartments."
"I don't really want a 'thank you' from anyone. I usually-"
"Keep everyone at arms length, right." Regina nodded. "Somehow it's just a little hard for me to believe."
"How?"
Regina squinted against the sun. "I'm not sure. I suppose it's that... I feel so comfortable around you? As though you-you're just.. familiar in some strange way." She shrugged, "It's odd. I would have thought our relationship would be much more strained than it is."
Emma kept looking at the pavement pass under her feet. "Yeah, with the whole real mom, whatever stuff. I'll talk to Henry about it too, if you think that's okay."
"Sure, I wouldn't mind."
The blonde stopped dead in her tracks and turned. "Could we not go to Grannies? I'm not feeling it right now."
Regina looked around, as if a new cafe would open up in front of her. "Well, we could just pick up something from the grocery store - fruit... or something. Sit around at the park and eat."
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a date at all. Emma felt her stomach tighten. "...yeah. Okay."
They crossed the street more carelessly than Emma could ever remember, feeling ridiculously out of place somewhere there wasn't constant traffic to dodge through. But Picking up a bag of carrots and a couple of pre-made salads were a hell of a lot better than dealing with the smirk and wiggling eyebrows Emma was sure Ruby would throw at her and Regina if they ate there again.
"You know, this is the most I've seen anyone in years." Emma commented, straddling the bench as she readied her food.
"Really?"
She nodded.
Regina looked at her for a long moment before speaking again. "Could I ask why it is you choose to keep to yourself?"
Emma took a breath. "Uhm... ya know, I think it's a mix of things. I mean, I don't trust anyone as far as I can throw them, just... personal experience says not to. But I guess it has to do with years of being forced to share space with like six kids I didn't know, and most of the time kids who had worse attitude problems than I did. After a while I just liked being alone better than with anyone else."
"Right." Her tone was light, not hiding very well she thought there was more behind it, not that she was invasive enough to dig for it.
But letting unsaid things hang in the air was way less awkward than sharing all the pain she'd endured and then in turn ignored in adulthood. She refused to be one of those women who decided her life was going to be about her suffering and making others feel sorry for her. Things happened - so what. And things will keep happening, and most of the time you won't like them or want to change something, but it's not always in your control.
"Regina!"
Emma whipped around, seeing an older woman pick up her pace with a wide, practiced smile coming toward them.
"Darling, I was just on my way to your office."
She turned back to look at Regina, who's eyebrows were raised as she fought for a smile, wiping the corners of her mouth.
And the brunette had almost found it as she stood up rigidly. "Hello, Mother."
