I own nothing the story is from my imagination but, the characters, concept, and plot are owned by Brenda Hampton, & producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL.

"WITH YOU"

JULY 19, 2011

OAK WOOD CEMETERY

1:43 PM

Ricky walked through the gates of the cemetery and wiped the sweat from his brow. It was hot today, but it was still a very beautiful day, and despite where he was the scene that lay before him still looked beautiful. There were rows and rows of graves, tombstones, and grave markers, as far as he could see. This place gave Ricky the creeps no matter how beautiful it was to look at, with all of its rows of flowers and neatly arranged graves, bushes, and tombs. The notion of death was not something Ricky liked to think about the finality of life. The idea that one day his life, Amy's life, and John's life would end scared him more than he would care to think about and he chose not to concentrate on the subject.

He sometimes also hated to think that what if death was not the end and there would be an after life where people would be judged for their mistakes, and he often wondered what would become of him if there were. His father's religion didn't believe in a hell that is what the Jewish religion taught. Ricky guessed that is why Bob despite of everything else loved being Jewish, because he thought he would not have to pay for his sins. It is one of the reasons why Ricky knew there had to be a hell, even if it was just a hell specifically designed for Bob, a place that made him pay for what he did to him and his mom.

Under his arm were three bouquets of flowers one bouquet of white roses, one of red roses, and one bouquet of pink roses. He spent a pretty penny on the flowers but he thought it best to worry about the money later. It was the thought that mattered,. he said o himself. Ricky hated to think about how long it had been since he had been in this place and he really hated to think about the reason why he was there in the first place, he came there to lay Marshall Bowman to rest and he was honored by his church with a plaque and an angel statue in the center. When he first saw it, he thought the statue was beautiful, but he also thought it would further remind everyone that Marshall Bowman was no longer here. Ricky hated to think about the fact that Marshall Bowman was gone, but he had no choice in the matter he was killed in a plane crash and left a hole that filled his entire family, most of all it left a hole in the one person whom he had already hurt Grace Bowman. The loss of her father hurt Grace more than anyone in her entire family and now after discovering her father had been unfaithful to her mother after eighteen years of marriage was worse.

He often wondered was it his actions through his relationship with Grace that started her interest in sex or was it her need to be close to Jack. He had to admit he may have been partly responsible for Grace's mental and religious breakdown. He had to admit dating her just to trick her into sleeping with her was wrong, as was his little game with Adrian, a game she won by bedding Jack which was not really a game since Jack as he had come to realize didn't have much going on to keep him faithful, or a devout Christian.

It was Bob, Nora, and his child hood that made him stop believing in God because he didn't believe any God no matter how bad should let that happen to him. He never did anything wrong as a child and did his best to be a good boy. But, his mother was drug addict that let her drunk drug addict husband beat and rape her and her son. How could a God allow someone like his father to exist. It was because of them that Ricky lost faith in people and also how he lost faith in himself, but found it again when he was adopted by Margaret and Shakur.

But it was through his son John that he found faith in God again. When he heard his little boy cry and held him in his arms for the first time it made him understand that there was a God, because it was in those moments he felt true divinity. He looked at his son and felt something that he never thought he was capable of, a feeling he ever felt he deserved, that feeling was love. He swore on that day to try and become a better person, better than his mother or his father had ever been.

He had become a better man in the past year, but he also knew he had done a lot of damage, to a lot of people before his change. He sometimes wondered if he would be judged for all the women he had been with and hurt in his nineteen years. Many just wanted to use him for sex just he had wanted to use them, but it was the ones who wanted to be more to him like Adrian, Grace, and Ashley that he didn't want to think about the consequences. He didn't sleep with Grace or Ashley, but what he did to them was still wrong of that he knew.

But, what he had done to Adrian was far worse he thought to himself, if he went to hell for any woman he knew it would be her. She was the woman that did more for him than any other woman in his life, even Amy. Unlike Amy Adrian asked nothing of him, she accepted him for he was and allowed him to choose to be with her on his own terms. Amy on the other hand was much more demanding of him, and he needed that. He needed someone to put their foot down with him and not be as forgiving of him, and that was Amy. But, still it was Adrian that helped him overcome the demons of his past and realize he was not the man his father was. That he could choose to be a better person. But, when it came time for him to return the favor he hated that he just abandoned her.

He told his therapist he did that because he was afraid that Adrian would make him give into temptation and sleep with her, but he knew that was just an excuse. The truth was he didn't know how he could bare to see her like that, broken with no way of being put back together. He hated that he was so weak in spirit he couldn't help the one woman he truly owed in his life. He felt even worse when he had to admit to himself that Ben was stronger than he was. Ben had to deal with Adrian like that every day since their child died, and hide his own pain, something didn't know if he could do should their roles have eve been reversed. Its why he held John close to him every day and asked Amy to move in with him. Through Ben's loss he had come to appreciate family so much more.

But, he knew that his actions at the party and since then were still wrong. He knew why Adrian wanted him back because after Ben, finally gave into his pain when Adrian got rid of the nursery, she felt wronged by he one man that promised to never do that. Ricky could not blame Ben for losing his temper like that, under the circumstances he felt partially responsible because he was the one who told Ben what she was doing. Also he knew that her idea to get rid of the nursery without consulting him was wrong. But, when he discovered that she wanted to get pregnant again, he knew that was an even worse idea.

When Amy told him of Adrians' plan he decided now was he best time to break his rule of not getting involved, he knew that it would make him a hypocrite, but having a child born to save a marriage which he thought was wrong in the first place would be worse. It was later that he thought his interference in the matter probably did more harm than good because Ben, didn't want to have kids, but he actually seemed more positive when he found out about Adrian's plot. Ricky guessed Ben finally realized that he and Adrian were both still very young and could start a family when they were truly ready. But, in the aftermath it only made Adrian want to end their marriage and come after him.

She hounded him for two weeks through the halls of Grant High looking to get back together with him and it was disgraceful. He felt sorry for Ben in a way. Ben was still her husband and they had only been married for a few months, and his wife was back to her old ways of going after him. He never even wanted to think about how embarrassed Ben must feel, especially since he still seemed to love Adrian. He was even embarrassed for Adrian, her actions seemed to make it look like she cared nothing for Ben, their child, or even her own dignity.

After the graduation he and Amy decided that in order to move on with their lives, they had to get rid Adrian. So they decided if they gave Adrian what she wanted, she could move on and perhaps she and Ben might actually have a chance to start again. IF ONLY LIFE WAS THAT SIMPLE" He kissed Adrian and he immediately felt bad since he did not know she was already dating again. He saw her date was nowhere near understanding of the kiss or Adrian's situation. Ben however was and he was hopeful as he watched them dance that things between them would get back to normal. But, when he learned what happened between Adrian and Henry he felt even worse, he should have known Adrian uses sex to get over her pain and Ben decided not to give in but Henry did. He knew en he may have resolved his and Amy''s situation with Adrian, but he may have made matters worse for Ben.

So he decided to stay out from that point on, but the damage was already done, and Ben had set in his mind that none of them should be friends. Deep down Rick wondered if they had ever really been friends, or if he had ever really been their friend. So far every time when he had a friend and they really needed him, he not knowing what to do would just ignore them. He hated that after all he had done to change he was still that weak. When ever things with people in his life got complicated he would just turn them away. He did it with Am when she was pregnant, Ashley last summer, and he did it with Adrian, and Ben. Now he had no friends, Ben had decided to end their friendship completely he wondered if they were ever friends at all.

The only reason he and Ben even became friends was because of Leo trying to make peace between them, and he had to admit Ben was nice to talk to he realized why Adrian and he became friends. Ben had a way of getting people to trust him, he saw how much he and Leo were alike. But, still Ben was Amy's boyfriend, and he was the father of her baby. He was surprised that even after Ben and Amy broke up Ben was still willing to be friends with him. He also kind of hated that he was starting to admire Ben. Unlike he thought Ben was fully aware of the rumors and names he was being called for dating Amy and she was pregnant with his child. He thought it weird he was the one that got her pregnant and abandoned her, but Ben was the one who was being ridiculed.

He guessed it was just teenagers being teenagers, and teenagers have a large tendency to be cruel to the wrong people for the wrong reason. Some thought Ben was only with Amy because it was obvious she put out, others thought it was because he had fetish for preggo's, but he soon realized it was because he actually cared about Amy just that much. He hated that about Ben, here he was sleeping around with Adrian and so many other girls, but it was Ben who could have any girl in the school, but instead he chose to stay by Amy's side. Ben truly made Ricky feel ashamed of himself, sometimes he wondered if John would have been better off with Ben being his father. Ben was rich, he came from a very loving and honorable family, and he was every bit the man his father was, probably even more.

But, now Ben was someone different someone that Ricky couldn't recognize anymore. He was darker, unforgiving, and even reckless. When his mom told him Ben had been in a car accident, and he was in school for having marijuana he was in shock. Ben Boykewich the Boy Wonder went Bad, this was unbelievable. Ricky was in disbelief at all he discovered about Ben. But, he remembered how once upon a time he was almost as similar as Ben. He was selfish, cruel, and mean. But, it was is son and the people that he loved, and loved him that helped him o change. Unfortunately he realized that the same could be said for Ben as well. Losing his daughter the way he did changed Ben. He truly felt sorry for his former friend as he found the graves he was looking for.

SARAH BOYKEWICH BELOVED WIFE & MOTHER, MERCY LEE BOYKEWICH BELOVED DAUGHTER OF BEN & ADRIAN BOYKEWICH "THOUGH YOU WERE HERE FOR A MOMENT YOU MADE US LOVE YOU FOREVER SLEEP WELL OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE PRINCESS'. That was the epitaph Ben chose, as Ricky knelt down to both graves and placed his flowers. He looked at both and began to feel sad. Sad that he was denied the pleasure of meeting these two wonderful people that were buried before him. He felt sad how losing them must have made their families. How losing his mom made a hole in Ben's heart, and losing his child made that hole even bigger. Amy was right Ben couldn't help Adrian because he was falling in on himself. He also remembered Adrian who also lost her friend Antonio, and how it made her use sex to overcome her loneliness. He then realized perhaps Adrian and Ben were better suited for one another than he thought.

He sometimes thought they were not right for each other because they were so different, but he couldn't deny that there was something between Ben and Adrian that made him jealous of their relationship. Some would say they shouldn't be together because of a few minor details, but the same could be said of he and Amy so he couldn't judge them. He hated how when he was with Adrian that he made her so upset and mad with him at times, but she never had that with Ben, she always seemed to have a type of respect for him. He was used to pushing Adrian to the edge, but Ben. Ben had a way of bringing her back that Ricky could never stand. When she was pregnant, he could not deny that even though she was eighteen, pregnant and still in school she was happy. She had a smile on her face almost every day, unlike Amy who was mostly upset about her situation. But not Adrian, her plans, and future had been seriously altered but she was okay with it.

Amy was always on edge when she was pregnant, and only on certain occasions would you actually see her smile. But, when she smiled it was usually because of Ben, he had this effect on everyone that seemed to give them a boost of confidence, he hated to admit it but it even affected him. So being pregnant at eighteen, and still in high school, altering her plans, didn't affect Adrian much he guessed because of who's baby she was carrying, and who was by her side everyday. Ben, he was the one who put that smile on her face everyday. It sometimes made him angry that out of all he and Adrian meant to each other he could never make her feel as happy as Ben did. He sometimes wondered would she have been that happy if she had been pregnant with his child. But, he would forget those thoughts as well because if the outcome had been the same he dreaded to think of how he would react.

As he placed his flowers on both graves he said a silent prayer, and began talking to the graves. "Hello Mrs. Boykewich, Mercy, you probably don' know me but, I am or was a friend of Ben." "I wish I could say I was still his friend, but some bad things have happened between all of us and I was wondering if I could ask for your help." "I know that he still loves you, and he misses you both terribly." "But right now he needs you, because he is lost and I don't think any of us know how to help him find his way back" I probably have no right to ask this of either of you, but could you please help him, Ricky said as a tear fell from his eye. "I was a very different person not too long ago and your son helped me find a way to be a better person, and I cant' seem to find a way to return the favor." "So I'm here asking for a favor from both of you to please do what I, and no one else can do." "Help Ben and Adrian find themselves again"

As Ricky was down he heard a loud voice that made him shudder at the sound of anger, and rage that was within it. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE RICKY!," Ben said as he saw the young man kneeling beside his mom and daughters graves.

"Ben, I just came to pay my respects." Ricky said as he got up.

"Leave, you don't know them, you have no right to be here." Ben said becoming angry.

"Ben." Ricky said shocked at Ben's reaction to his presence.

"You can't have them, you took Amy, and John from me." "You took Adrian, my dad, even my friends, and the company from me." "But, you cant' have them they are mine.

"So get your flowers off their leave." he said snatching the flowers from the graves and shoving them toward Ricky.

Ricky was left in shock at Ben's actions, he had only come here to pay his respects and hopefully say a prayer for Ben, he never meant any harm in being here. "Ben I didn't meant to offend you." Ricky said trying to calm the situation.

"Ricky leave, this is not yours to take." "So just turn around or I swear I will kill you." Ben said angrily looking at Ricky with such eyes they made Ricky actually tremble.

Ricky looked at Ben and said okay Ben I'll go. Ricky took his flowers planted one on Marshall Bowman's grave and left. The whole time he was walking away he could feel Ben's cold eyes watching him as he left. He hadn't felt so scared since he was a child. As he got into his car he realized that it was Ben, a person he once regarded as his best friend who had just threatened him and made him feel this bad. He then realized why he was so scared because the person who made him that scared before was Bob. He then began to cry not for Ben, but himself because he wondered did he really do Ben such damage to his life that he hated him as much as he hated his own father.

woke up in a dream today
To the cold and the static
And I put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hipocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back

It's true
The way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me

I'm with you
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes

I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor
The rest of the day stands still
Fine line between this and that
But when things go wrong
I pretend that the past isn't real
I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
Even though you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back

It's true
The way I feel
Was promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me

I'm with you
(From: . )
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes

No, I won't let you control my fate
While I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience
No, I won't just sit here and wait
While you weighing options
You're making a fool of me
No, you didn't dare try to say that you don't care
And solemnly swear not to follow me there
No, it ain't like me to beg on my knees
Oh, please, oh, baby, please
That's not how I'm doing things
No, I'm not upset
No, I'm not angry
I know love is love,
Love and sometimes it pains me
With or without you
I'll always be with you
You'll never forget me
I'm keeping you with me
No, I won't let you take me to the end of my rope
While you burn it and torture my soul
No, I'm not your puppet
And, no, no, no, I won't let you go

No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come, I
I can't wait to see tomorrow

With you
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see
Keeping everything inside
With You
You, now I see
Even when I close my eyes