AN: Despite the fact that the SVU writers clearly struggle immensely with consistency, I'm kinda digging that Mia exists. Should I do something with her? If so, what?


even if we can't find heaven / I'll walk through hell with you


"Has anybody gone in yet?" Amanda demanded of Fin the second she was in the passenger seat of his patrol car.

He pulled away from the curb in front of her house immediately. "No. They're waiting for us to get there, Liv's orders."

"When'd Carisi and Liv leave?"

"A half hour ago."

"Is ESU involved?"

"They are now, yeah."

"Are they sure there's people inside the house? You know-"

"Amanda," Fin interrupted her quietly but firmly. His gaze flickered over to her. "You know how this works. Everybody is doin' the best they can."

She pressed her lips together and glared out her window, watching the city fly by as Fin quickly navigated through the familiar neighborhoods. She was so riled up, she didn't know whether she felt like crying or screaming.

"I know you're worried," Fin went on. "And I know-"

"No, Fin. You don't," she snapped, rounding on him again. "You don't know."


New York and New Jersey police shut down Dock Street in Tom's River. Number three was surrounded by squad cars, ambulances and ESU vehicles, their continuous flashes of red and blue lighting up the night. Neighbors peered curiously out of their windows while the media quickly began to encroach on the blocked off space in hopes of breaking the story first - even if they weren't exactly sure what was even happening.

Amanda jumped out of the car before Fin had even brought it to a complete stop. Badge in hand, she wove through the perimeter of officers and ducked beneath the yellow police tape to find Liv and Sonny. They stood at the back of an ESU van with two people from NJPD. Amanda didn't acknowledge the strangers and turned immediately to her lieutenant. The moment Liv saw Amanda, she didn't bother with unnecessary small talk.

"We've got the house surrounded," she explained. "I'm gonna send ESU to the front door-"

"No. No," Amanda interrupted frantically. "I want you to go with them. I want you in charge. I don't want those clowns messin' this up."

Liv looked uneasy. "Amanda-"

"Liv, please!" she pleaded, unable to bear the idea of the alternative. For all of her issues with her lieutenant, she trusted her skill and judgment and she needed it now more than ever. "Or I'm doing it myself."

The brunette rubbed her forehead, clearly conflicted. Technically, Liv shouldn't have been so deeply involved either - her closeness to Sonny and Amanda meant the case could be considered too personal - but Amanda was hoping tonight wouldn't be the night the commanding officer of SVU decided to play by the rules. "Alright," Liv conceded quietly. "Alright."

Amanda felt the tiniest bit of relief, although it was clouded by a fear that wouldn't relent until her child was found safe. She couldn't even manage a 'thank you' before Liv was jogging off to talk with ESU and the NJPD captain.

"I can't stand bein' out here, waitin'," Sonny breathed, hands on his hips as he began to pace. "I just wanna bust in there and..."

"Shoot her?" Amanda finished his sentence. She wasn't joking: the gears in her mind were already turning, wondering if she could get enough of a view through a window and take Dana down with one well-placed bullet.

"Liv's goin'," Sonny announced abruptly, standing in place to watch their lieutenant approach the house.

Amanda gripped Sonny's forearm, holding her breath as she saw Liv knock on the door. They were too far away to hear much of anything and she wasn't wearing a wire. In terse silence, they watched as Liv pressed herself closer, seemingly talking to Dana through the wood between them. A few long minutes passed before the lieutenant was pulling away and sprinting back toward the police perimeter.

"She wants Carisi," Liv announced breathlessly.

"Is Luca okay?" Sonny asked anxiously.

"She won't tell me," she sighed. "She'll only talk to you."

"No." Amanda shook her head furiously in protest. "Hell no. He's not going in there. Somebody just, get somebody to line up a shot and-"

Liv reached for her. "Slow down, Amanda-"

Amanda was distracted by Sonny, who was tearing off his bulletproof vest and gun, dumping all of into the back of the ESU van. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"I'm goin' in," he told her brusquely, jamming his badge onto his hip. "She's not gonna talk to me with my vest and gun on, I know it."

"You are not!" she sputtered in disbelief. "I'm not having both of you trapped inside there with her!"

As if he hadn't heard Amanda, Sonny looked at Liv, his expression stern and expectant. "Lieutenant, tell me I can't go, and I won't."

Liv looked exasperated as she glanced between the two detectives. She pressed her lips together, silent as she weighed the options, all of them risky. Her gaze lingered on Amanda for an extra few seconds before she turned to Sonny. "Go. Don't do anything stupid," she told him curtly. "I'm moving ESU closer and the second we hear anything, we're moving in. Got it?"

Sonny nodded. "Got it."


He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he knocked on the door of his uncle's old summer home. Sonny hadn't been there in years; it used to hold warm memories of lazy days on the sprawling beach and cool nights playing cards with his cousins on the porch. He hated the terrible potential it had now.

"Dana?" Sonny called through the wood. "It's me. It's Sonny. Can you let me in?"

He was answered with silence, then Dana's familiar voice asking: "just you?"

"Yeah," he responded eagerly.

"You have your gun?"

"No. Nothing. Not even a vest. Just me."

The door knob twitched and Sonny jumped backward in anticipation. The door creaked open just slightly, revealing a sliver of Dana's face as she surveyed the porch to assure Sonny was truly alone. She opened it only a bit wider to allow Sonny inside; he angled his body to quickly slip through. The living room was dark, lit only by a camping lantern set on the coffee table. The place was dusty, musty and falling apart, a far cry from the bright vacation residence Sonny once knew.

The instant the door clicked shut behind him, Dana skittered further into the living room, turned around and pointed her gun directly at Sonny with shaky hands. He stopped, keeping several feet between them, and slowly put both of his palms up. Dana's bright green eyes were wild as she watched him.

Motionless, his gaze flitted around the old room. "Where's Luca? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Dana told him irritably. "He's playing in the master bedroom."

Sonny exhaled.

"Is that all you care about?" she snapped.

"Dana... what are you doin'?" he asked weakly. "This isn't... this isn't you."

"I just... I didn't know how else to get your attention!" she cried.

"So you kidnapped my son?" he exclaimed incredulously. "Do you know, do you know how terrified I've been? What this has done to Amanda?"

"I don't give a damn about her," she snarled, fingers flexing around the grip of the gun.

The hair at the back of Sonny's neck stood up. Swallowing hard, he watched the barrel of her firearm, still pointed in his direction.

"But I, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Dana whispered gently, demeanor suddenly soft aside from the gun she was brandishing. "I just... I... wanted to talk to you and... and you wouldn't spend any time with me-"

"Dana-"

"I just want you to give me another chance, Sonny," she interrupted frantically. "The way things ended for us, I think about it all the time. I shouldn't have left. We could have had such a good life. We still can. I can move back to New York, we can be together..."

"We have separate lives now, we can't-"

"We can!" she shouted, the gun trembling in her grip. "We can. I know that you've missed me, what we had. I know it. Of course you're with someone else now, I've been gone all these years and you thought I didn't care about you, but I do care! So now, now we've just gotta fix things. It's just... it's just you have to choose me, over her."

"Daddy?" called a small, familiar voice.

Sonny took his eyes off of Dana's gun and saw Luca entering the living room from the hallway. He looked perfectly normal wearing jeans, Converse and his favorite green dinosaur t-shirt - exactly how Sonny had left him that morning. Relief flooded him - until he considered the situation they were both in. Dana's eyes were wide; she clearly hadn't anticipated the little boy's interruption.

"Hi, buddy. Hey," Sonny greeted his son, struggling to keep his voice light and upbeat as to not alarm him.

Luca toddled excitedly over to him, oblivious to the present danger. "Home now?" he asked his father, stopping at Sonny's feet. His big blue eyes - a perfect combination of both Sonny and Amanda's hue - peered up at him curiously.

Sonny moved to set a reassuring palm atop Luca's blonde head. "We-"

"Don't touch him! Don't!" Dana shrieked.

He froze, then slowly put his palm back up into its original position. "Okay, alright..."

Luca tugged at Sonny's jeans. "Daddy..."

"Okay, okay. Luca, just... uh... why don't you go back into the bedroom and I'll, uh, come get you in a minute?" he suggested.

"Where's mama?" the little boy wondered.

"Luca, listen to me: go into the bedroom. Now," he ordered sternly. Just go, Luca. Just go back into the bedroom, he prayed silently. Go right now. He watched Luca's brow furrow, confused and alarmed by his father's harsh tone. It pained Sonny not to be able to scoop him up and comfort him, but he wasn't going to risk the little boy's safety by defying the person with the gun.

After a moment of consideration, Luca turned around and obediently walked away. Sonny met Dana's eyes again while simultaneously trying to keep track of the barrel of her firearm.

"Look, Dana..." he began slowly. "Just put the gun down and we can talk."

She laughed maniacally, as if that was the most preposterous thing she had ever heard. "No," she replied with a shake of her head. "We can talk just like this."

Sonny nodded, all the while entertaining the idea of utilizing a different approach. He didn't know if she would fall for it - she was smart, even in her crazed state - but he was willing to try anything to make sure he and Luca left that house alive. He pulled in a deep breath. "Okay," he conceded. "You're right, okay? You're right that I didn't think you cared." He studied Dana's face, hoping her expression would soften, but it wasn't enough - yet. Sonny knew exactly what the tipping point would be: "and... Amanda," he went on, "she's just... she was just a placeholder. I always hoped you'd come back."

Dana's brows twitched together. "You... you did?"

He couldn't decide if he felt more nauseous due to anticipation or out of disgust for the words coming out of his mouth. "Yeah. I was tryin' not to think about it, 'cause I didn't know what to do or what to say but... we're here now... alone." Boldly, he took a few small steps forward. "You've got my attention."

"Do you... do you love me?" Dana squeaked.

A soft smile played at Sonny's lips. "Of course I do. I've always loved you." Another small step forward. "And I wanna figure out a way to make this work."

She lowered her gun just slightly as a strange smile flickered across her face. "Yeah. Yeah, that's what I want."

"I'm sorry I drove you to all this. You know that's not me," Sonny told her gently. One more step, then he was in within arm's length of Dana. "Let's talk about what we do next, huh?" He offered her his most convincing, charming grin. "You and me."

"You and me," she repeated breathlessly, her green eyes bright with a delusional hopefulness that made Sonny's stomach turn again.

The gun was still quivering between them, now pointed toward Sonny's abdomen as Dana gradually lost more and more of her fight. Cautiously, Sonny lowered one of his raised hands and slowly reached it out to rest it atop of one of Dana's outstretched forearms. Very gently, he began to coax it downward. Without resistance, Dana allowed it.


Amanda felt like Sonny had been inside of the house forever. The infrared showed them stationary in the living room, and the brief moment when a smaller body appeared had Amanda's heart in her throat.

When a gunshot rang through the air, every member of law enforcement surrounding 3 Dock Street sprang into action.

Amanda didn't wait for any instruction or direction: right at ESU's heels, she sprinted toward the home, anticipating the worst but diving into it head-first anyway. Officers broke through the old wooden door and filtered into the house behind shields and battering rams, prepared to encounter anything. In the dark and dusty living room, Sonny had Dana pressed face-forward against a wall, his hands gripping both of her arms behind her back. Dana wasn't fighting him, but her face was contorted in tearful distress. At first, Amanda was immensely grateful to see her husband alive, but after a few seconds her eyes focused in on a bright red patch of blood seeping through the ripped arm of his shirt. A gun was discarded at Sonny's feet; Amanda had been in enough violent altercations to know that there had most likely been a struggle for the firearm that had resulted in his injury.

"Oh my God, Sonny," she exclaimed once she found her voice. "Are you alright?"

"It's okay, it's okay! I'm alright! It's just, we wrestled for it, it grazed me. It's okay," Sonny shouted over the chaos as another officer joined him to help with Dana. "Go get Luca. He's alright, he's in the back bedroom."

Tearing her gaze away from Sonny, Amanda ran toward the hallway just as the distant voice of an ESU officer hollered, "I got him! Master bedroom, second door on the left!" She burst through the bedroom doorway, skidding to a halt when she found a burly sergeant plucking Luca up from the faded, carpeted floor.

"Mama!" Luca greeted her, straining over the officer's shoulder to reach for her.

"Hi, baby. Hi," Amanda cooed shakily, weak with relief. Her son looked normal, oblivious - until his small features crumpled and he started to cry, as if seeing his mother after a day of uncertainty was too much to bear. She quickly pulled Luca from the officer's arms and he wrapped himself around her, his wet face in the crook of her neck, his body shuddering with his cries. "C'mere, let's get you outta here. You're alright," she soothed, hoping it was true.

"There's a back door. A sliding glass door - that's how she got in. Bring him out that way, I'll tell everybody at the perimeter to stand down," the sergeant told her.

"Thank you." Quick feet carried her through the unfamiliar house, keeping Luca pressed to her body as she escaped through the back door. All she could think about was getting him to the waiting ambulance as quickly as possible; she didn't know if he was hurt and maybe he couldn't tell her. The back doors of the white rescue vehicle were wide open and an EMT waved her over from inside.

"He's got, he has asthma," Amanda explained breathlessly once she reached the ambulance. "He's not coughing yet but sometimes it just sets in outta nowhere after-"

"We'll take good care of him, Sergeant," the EMT assured her gently. "We'll check him out." Crouching down, he tilted his head to try to look at Luca. "Hi, Luca. My name's Dan. Is it okay if we hang out for a little bit?"

"This is an ambulance, it always goes along with the firetrucks you like so much," she explained to the little boy, hoping that would convince him to be compliant.

Luca sniffled. "Firetruck?"

"Once I check you out, I'll let you turn on the red lights. How about that?" Dan offered.

"Okay," Luca nodded.

Amanda carefully handed him over to Dan inside of the ambulance, Luca's arms and legs hesitantly releasing their grip around her torso. Dan set the little boy on the edge of the stretcher, then turned around to grab a latex glove. He blew air into and tied it off in a makeshift balloon, which he gave to Luca in obvious hopes of occupying him. A little smile toyed at Amanda's mouth at the sweet gesture. As she looked on, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Fin.

"It's been a bitch keepin' these television cameras outta here. Everybody alright?" he asked her. "Where's Carisi?"

"Sonny got... I don't know what went down, but a bullet clipped him in the arm," Amanda explained, a fresh wave of anxiety washing over her.

Fin's features went dark. "Not a-"

"No, no. It doesn't look like it hit a joint," she interrupted. She knew where Fin's mind was at: getting shot in an appendage was often a career-ending injury.

He nodded. "There's a hospital five minutes away..."

Her attention was suddenly elsewhere: behind Fin, on the front lawn, the man from ESU that had found Luca had one of Dana's arms and an unfamiliar NJPD officer had the other as they led her away from the house. Her field of vision narrowed, everything going black except for the woman who had put her family in so much danger. Rage prickled Amanda's nerve endings, her face going hot with the intensity of her anger. As if her legs were moving on their own accord, she launched herself in Dana's direction.

"You fucking bitch!" Amanda spat, venom in every word.

The officers tried to keep leading Dana away, but Amanda crowded in close, fueled by fiery protectiveness.

"Rollins!" Fin shouted seconds before she felt his strong hands gripping each of her upper arms, holding her back from physically attacking Dana.

Amanda strained forward uselessly. "Did you really think you were gonna get away with this? Did you really think I wouldn't have every goddamn officer in the tristate area after your crazy ass? You're lucky I didn't shoot you when I had the chance," she snarled at Dana, even though her back was to Amanda now. "You can be sure I'm gonna make sure you never come near my family - or anybody else - ever again!"

"Okay, Amanda, alright," Fin murmured soothingly. "Let them take her."

Her chest heaved as she fought to catch her breath, eyes still narrow and icy as she watched Dana get shoved into the backseat of a waiting squad car. Once the door was closed, Fin's hold on Amanda loosened. "If I ever get my fuckin' hands on her..." she breathed, fantasizing about the type of pain she could inflict upon Dana.

Fin nodded, eyes on the squad car as he concluded, "she messed with the wrong woman."


The squad raced to Community Medical Center in three separate vehicles. Leaving Luca with Liv in the waiting room, Amanda darted through the unfamiliar emergency department to find her husband, who she hadn't spoken to since he had apprehended Dana. She flung back the curtain of the bay he was in to find him sitting on the edge of the exam table in his white undershirt, one of the short sleeves rolled up to better expose his injured arm.

His eyes grew wide at the sight of her. "Is Luca alright?" Sonny asked anxiously.

"He's okay. Liv's got him in the waiting room," she assured him. Crowding close to his side, she took in the gash on Sonny's opposite arm: it was deep, the flesh torn and mangled from the forceful trajectory of the bullet, but at least it wasn't still bleeding. "How's your arm?"

He grimaced and peered down at his injury. "Been better." His other hand reached for Amanda's and squeezed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she promised, curling her fingers around his. "I'm just... I'm so glad you and Lu are okay."

Sonny offered her a weary smile as he leaned in give her a gentle kiss on the lips. Her free hand cradled his cheek, comforted by the warmth radiating off of his skin, tangible evidence that though he was wounded, he was very much alive.

"Love you," he murmured.

Amanda's throat tightened and she swallowed over the growing lump there. "Love you."

The curtain to the bay moved to one side and a nurse appeared. "Dominick Carisi?"

The two detectives pulled apart, but their fingers remained entwined. "Yeah, that's me," Sonny replied.

"I'm Katie, a nurse practitioner here. Dr. Adams said you need stitches," the nurse explained, beginning to pull supplies from a cabinet in the room.

Sonny groaned. "Can't you just slap a bandaid on it and gimme a couple painkillers?"

"No. The laceration is too deep," Katie told him simply, dumping all of her various tools onto a stainless steal tray.

He frowned but didn't protest further. Katie arranged his arm where she wanted it before disinfecting the injury and giving him two injections of Novocain. While Sonny was obviously doing his best not to look, Amanda watched, oddly fascinated by the process. Historically, neither of them were particularly disturbed by blood, but she figured it was stomach-turning to watch yourself get sewn up.

"Ah, shit!" Sonny yelped suddenly once Katie began to suture him. "Isn't this supposed to be numb?"

Katie looked unimpressed by Sonny's dramatic reaction. "I gave you two shots of Novocain..."

"Do I have to pay extra for three?" he asked irritably.

Heaving a sigh, Katie reached for her syringe again and jabbed the area surrounding his wound with just a bit more force than was probably necessary. She poked and prodded Sonny until she was confident he was totally numb, then resumed her work.

"I want her charged with everything," Amanda blurted, prompted by another surge of anger toward Dana. "Kidnapping across state lines, forcible entry, attempted murder, all of it."

"She will be," Sonny assured her firmly. "Barba'll make sure of it."

The curtain opened once more and revealed Liv, who was holding Luca by the hand. The toddler's cheeks were pink and tears clung to his long eyelashes. "Hey, he was getting all upset, asking for you guys..." Liv explained. "I figured it was best he see you were still here."

"Oh, no, it's alright, we're right here," Amanda assured Luca hurriedly. She crouched down and scooped him up into her arms. "Mama's gotcha."

Balanced against her hip, Luca rested his head on Amanda's shoulder. He looked over at his father and pointed. "What's that?"

"Ah, that's nothin'," Sonny insisted with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just a little boo-boo."

"All better?" he wondered.

A little smile tugged at Sonny's mouth. "She's makin' it all better, yeah."

Amanda turned to Liv and asked quietly, "is she being extradited back to the city?"

The lieutenant nodded, arms crossed over her chest. "Two unis are transporting her now."

"Thanks, Liv," she whispered, although the words hardly felt sufficient.

"I'm just glad this sweet boy is okay," Liv said, giving Luca's back a rub. Looking over at Sonny, she added with a teasing grin, "this sweet boy, too."


Finally back at home, Sonny's mother had managed to keep both Jesse and Ruby sleeping soundly in their respective rooms the entire time they had been gone. She was tearful and clutching rosary beads when Amanda carried Luca into the house, and she hovered until the moment the toddler was finally exhausted and tucked into his bed. Once she was gone, Amanda and Sonny peered in anxiously at Luca several times before they were satisfied that he was content - and, more importantly, exactly where he was supposed to be. Then they drifted apart: Sonny went to take a shower while Amanda picked half-heartedly at cold leftovers from the dinner Mrs. Carisi had made.

Back upstairs, Amanda saw that the door to the nursery was cracked open, a sliver of warm light illuminating the dark hallway. Peering curiously inside, she saw Sonny sitting in the overstuffed chair by Ruby's crib. The baby was tucked into the crook of his uninjured arm, cheek against his chest, sleeping peacefully despite being pulled from her bed. Sonny's eyes were closed and his body was relaxed, but Amanda was certain that he was awake. Quietly, she slipped inside of the room. Amanda perched herself on the arm of the chair, prompting Sonny to blink over at her.

She reached over to smooth a gentle palm over Ruby's fuzzy head. "I can't believe she didn't start screamin' when you picked her up," Amanda mused softly. "She's definitely a daddy's girl."

Sonny smiled. "Well, Luca's a mama's boy. He's your shadow. And Jesse's your mini me."

She shook her head sheepishly. "Yeah but, you're her hero."

He sighed, glancing down at the baby asleep against his chest. "'Manda..." he began quietly, "I feel like... I feel like all of this is my fault."

Her brow furrowed in both concern and confusion. "It's not."

"I shouldn't have interacted with her," Sonny went on weakly. "I shouldn't have made her think that I had feelings for her or... or whatever it was..."

Getting off of the the arm of the chair, she crouched down in front of it instead in an attempt to get a better look at Sonny. She rested a hand on his knee as she peered up at him. "You always wanna see the good in people. That's what I love about you," Amanda whispered. "You both saw some terrible stuff at that school and you thought you could talk to her about it, as a friend. As... as a fellow cop. You couldn't have known she would lose it. You've been dealin' with your own stuff."

He didn't appear convinced. "I guess, yeah," he mumbled.

Amanda gave his knee a squeeze before rising to her feet. He looked up at her and their blue eyes met. "We made it," she reminded him softly. "That's all that matters."