This was going to be their first official date and Charles could not understand why it still made him so fluttery in the stomach every time he would be all alone with Erik. Sitting next to him in the car, Charles had been wondering what Erik had planned for them because he had set up everything and he would not divulge any details. Erik only told him to dress warmly and that they would be driving outside of the city.
Back then, when Erik presented him with the idea of a date, Charles was not able to grasp the concept because he had never dated before and Erik had misunderstood and he assumed Charles was finding the idea absurd.
"I'm sorry, Erik. Did I hear you right? You want to go on a...date?"
Erik was blushing furiously as he stared over at Charles. They are sitting in Erik's bedroom, just reading books and doing their homework. Erik was on the bed, sitting cross-legged, his math assignment lay before him while Charles was sitting on the floor at the side of the bed, his back pressed to the mattress as he read The Sea Wolf by Jack London. Erik was shifting about uncomfortably and then he shuffled forward on the bed and sat next to Charles on the floor, his expression serious.
"I know. It's ridiculous. We've been fucking each other like crazy for the last two months and it's sort of out-of-place to suddenly ask you. But...but I don't want you think that's all I care about doing with you. Shit! I feel stupid!" Erik cried out as he turned his head away, angry with himself.
Charles put his book down and gazed at Erik intently, realizing that Erik might have been thinking about this for some time now and he had not been saying anything. It wasn't exactly all about sex these past few weeks. Sometimes he and Erik would just meet up and to finish their school work and Erik would be laughing it off saying he was starting to feel like such a nerd. Or sometimes Erik would come over to his house and they would watch a movie on his laptop while sitting next to each other in bed or even just to read books quietly while the other was close by...small, mundane things that gave them a chance to just be near to each other. They had never ventured to do anything together outside. Charles touched Erik's arm and smiled up at him.
"I don't think it's ridiculous or stupid. I think that's sweet of you-"
"You know you are the only person in this world that ever thinks I'm sweet. My own mother thinks I'm a rotten apple-" Erik chuckled bitterly.
Erik had told him before that he was not really in a loving relationship with his mom ever since his dad had left. Erik had been so angry over that and had been unable to even tell Charles the details because he thought it was just pathetic and that it had been one of the reasons why he left the track team early on. He had loved running and joining competitions back then but because his dad did not come to the competitions anymore, he felt it was pointless. Charles pressed his head to Erik's arm and folded his own arms over his raised knees.
"I'm sure your mom does not think that about you. It's not all about the bad things. There's some good in you too, Erik.I felt it-" Charles said gently. "Your mom probably thinks the same way I do-"
Erik sighed again and placed his head against Charles's own, his voice full of this warm affection for him. "That's the thing about you, Charles. You're too kind. You see the good in everything... I guess that's what drew me to you-" He sat up straight and touched Charles's cheek, he was blushing again.
"So will you... go on a date with me?" Erik asked hesitantly.
Charles laughed softly, his limpid blue eyes brightening. "Of course I would!"
Erik's face broke out into a goofy grin, he makes these faces sometimes that had Charles laughing when he felt down and he was making it now to get Charles to laugh some more. Erik's cell phone suddenly made a beeping tone and he picked it up, reading the message on it. Erik's face fell and he looked up at Charles.
"It's Shaw. They want me to come over to drink some beer with the crew-"
Charles withered slightly at that. He didn't really want Erik to hang out with his friends because they only drew out the worst in Erik and they only encourage him to be rebellious but this was who Erik had always been, before he even got together with Charles. Charles felt he had no right to impose or tell Erik what he needed to do. It was his right to make his own decisions. Charles slowly got up and gathered his things.
"Well I guess it's time for me to go then," Erik also stood up and was watching Charles as he stuffed his books in his bag. Charles was putting on his coat when Erik tried to stop him, his expression anxious.
"Tell me not to go to them and I won't, Charles. Just say it-" Erik said, his voice slightly hoarse.
Charles turned to face Erik and smiled at him, giving him that tender gaze that he reserved only for the other. "You should go to them, Erik. This is how things are supposed to be right now. You haven't been hanging out with them much lately...they might start to wonder why-"
All Erik could do was slump his shoulders in surrender, Charles was right as usual. Charles picked up his backpack and Erik helped him shift it to his shoulders because it was full of books again." You'll break your back carrying all this shit-" Erik said gruffly, his eyes suddenly felt like they are stinging and he didn't know why. Charles chuckled at what he said. Erik led him out to the front door. He offered to take Charles back to his house but Charles said he would take the bus instead. Charles gently reached for his hand, gave it one squeeze and then he went out onto the front porch by himself.
A few days after found Charles out on a road trip with Erik on their date, the side windows are drawn down and the wind from outside whipped their hair as they got past the interstate. Erik was wearing his favorite black leather jacket while Charles wore a thick brown wool sweater underneath a dark green coat. Erik was singing along to some song playing on his car's sound system. It was Joey Scarbury's 'Believe it or Not' and he was actually good, he had a rich, singing voice that would pass him off as singer in a band if he wanted to. Charles was smiling and laughing while Erik bopped his head around in a silly way while he sang.
"I can't believe you know the entire lyrics to this song!" Charles said loudly so Erik could hear him.
"It's a great song! Come on, sing with me!" Erik invited.
"I can't sing. You don't want to hear me sing! I'm awful!" Erik laughed at that and patted his knee in understanding.
"I guess you just can't have it all like I do-" Erik said in a smug, goading tone and it had Charles laughing uncontrollably. He had asked Erik where they are going again but Erik said it was a secret so Charles didn't force him to say what location. He would have to see for himself. Being in the car with Erik would have been a good time to ask him about the things he wanted to know, like more details on his relationship with his mom and what he plans to do after graduating, but he thought such things were not best to bring up right now. He wanted Erik to enjoy this day and talk only about the things he wanted to talk about.
"It must be serious-" Erik suddenly said.
"What?"
"What you were thinking about. You went quiet on me all of a sudden-"
Charles gave him a weak smile. "I was just thinking of...stuff-"
"Care to tell me?" Erik queried as he held onto the steering wheel and smoothly turned his car to the right.
"I want to know everything there is to know about you, that's all-"
Erik smiled even though his attention was on the road. "I'm flattered but there isn't much to know. I'm just a small town rebel itching to get out of this place and live the way I want-"
Erik gave Charles a sideways glance. "I'm more interested to know everything about you. You know even to this day, I still can't believe I'm with you. This has got to be the longest relationship I had ever had with someone-"
"Really?"
"Yes, really. It's like everyday I spend with you, there is just something more I want to know, to see...to feel. I know it's corny but it's like I feel so alive when I'm with you and no girl or boy ever made me feel like that-"
Charles felt the heat creep up to his cheeks again and he knew he was blushing. It seems Erik just knew the right things to say...or maybe its because Charles himself was just so easily moved by Erik. Whatever it was, when they are together, they have a certain chemistry that made their combination strange but somehow fitting, intensely erotic yet ardently warm. Charles leaned forward in his seat and softly kissed Erik's cheek all of the sudden, making Erik feel the warmth rise up from his neck right up to his face.
"Whoa, don't make me lose my concentration now-" Erik warned, but there was a pleased expression on his face after Charles had kissed him and he had that huge shark-like grin on.
"Let's agree not to talk about those things today-" Charles said brightly.
"Ok then-" Erik said, still smiling.
They finally arrived at their destination. It was an expanse of sprawling grassland as far as the eye could see. There are trees in the distance but this place looked more like some sort of hiker's trail because the land slightly curved downward to a much used trail at the bottom; down below was some sort of Open space preserve with more trees and over everything, a great blue sky that announced a beautiful day ahead. Charles stepped out of the car, a huge smile spreading over his face, suddenly letting loose a bark of laughter. Erik got out on his side of the door after he popped the trunk and he took out two, much used hiking boots. He gave one to Charles.
"This belonged to a cousin of mine who left it; I think this will fit you well. Your sneakers will be trashed if you used that while we hike down-"
Charles put the hiking boots on and they did fit him perfectly. He tapped his toes on the paving of the parking lot, testing it. Erik went over to the parking attendant and took a parking card and then he went back to the back of the trunk and took out a picnic basket. Charles looked over furtively around him. There are just three cars that are parked in the lot. Erik did not seem overly concerned that they would be seen together and then Erik gestured that they should go down the trail. They walked for five minutes or so in silence and then they got to the spot that Erik chose for the both of them. It was an area close to a tree that would serve as a shade for them if the sun gets into their line of sight. Erik laid out a red plaid picnic blanket and he took out the food they would be eating.
"I never thought of a day that would come that I would go on a picnic date-" Charles said as he sat on the blanket and helped Erik take out the contents of their picnic.
Erik grinned back at him. "Just you wait...I have more surprises for you-"
Charles giggled and assisted Erik by laying their plates and utensils around and then they sat back enjoying their meal. Erik had prepared them some wildflower salad, lemon chicken, monte cristo sandwiches and cherry pie, proudly telling Charles that he was trying to learn how to cook by reading over some cookbooks.
"This is all really wonderful, Erik!" Charles had exclaimed and he wasn't just saying that. Erik really knew his stuff. While they ate they shared cooking tips and the best places they ate at and talked about everything commonplace. When they had finished eating, Charles lay on his back contentedly on the blanket and stared up at the blue skies and the rolling white clouds, feeling so content and happy just to be with Erik in this place.
"Charles," Erik said quietly. He was lying on his stomach next to Charles as he watched the other's face. Charles turned to face him, smiling lazily. "Hmm?"
"Do you remember when we were outside of the school after the window incident and you said you wanted to get out of that place...was it because of the bullying?"
Charles lifted his head in surprise, startled that Erik was asking about that now, his brow furrowed at it.
"Yes Erik. That was one of the main reasons and because I was on scholarship, I had a chance of graduating faster than my peers. That had been my intention and it would look good on my qualifications-"
Erik turned his gaze to the distance and then he faced Charles again. "But if you leave sooner than the rest, that means you would be going off to a university, right?"
Charles suddenly understood why Erik was asking and he sat up straight, holding Erik's eyes to his. "That doesn't mean I won't be seeing you anymore, Erik. I still have to enter my senior year of high school for a brief period. I have to get my GPA to a level that is acceptable before I could enter a university -"
Charles did not want Erik to be sad at that moment because they were supposed to have a good time together. Charles sidled closer to him and kissed his shoulder.
"What brought this on? I thought we weren't supposed to talk about these things yet-"
Erik sighed and put his face down to his arms. "I know it's selfish of me but I don't want you to go-"
Charles didn't know what to say to him then. He had everything planned out already for his future. What was he supposed to say to Erik to soothe his feelings?
"Erik...please. Let's not talk about that right now. It would ruin this perfect day-"
Erik's expression was growing more intense, dark.
"I know I won't amount to anything myself. People keep telling me that and I guess I started to believe it. Now it's too late to make my grades better so I can at least go to the same university as you. I'd just probably end up at some junior college on minor courses and I won't even make it into some big time white collar job like you would-" Erik said, his tone filled with the gloomy bitterness he felt about his own situation. Charles sat up straight, tugged at his arm.
"Get up from there and look at me," Charles urged him. Erik got up and Charles could see he was almost close to tears over his predicament. Charles touched his chin with soft fingers, making Erik look at him directly in the eye.
"I believe in you, Erik. I'm sure you will make something of yourself someday. I'm betting it will be something big. Don't put yourself down too much because we both know you're not stupid. You're intelligent and you can be driven if you really want to. So don't give up just because everyone else had already pegged you into a corner-"
"I don't want to be parted from you, Charles-" Erik said thickly, his voice trembling with feeling, the tears were already shining from his eyes, threatening to spill onto his cheeks. Charles gently caressed his cheek, making it so his voice conveyed the depth of his feeling.
"Erik, always remember this. Even if we are parted, even when things get so bad that it almost feels like there is no rising from it...I will be the one waiting for you. This," He touched the area where his heart is. "-belongs to no one but you."
"Charles," Erik finally broke down. He bent his head and pressed it to Charles's shoulder, his own shoulders shaking and hitching with his sobs. Charles took Erik into his arms and just held him. They did not say a word to each other at this point. Just that calming embrace was enough. When Erik had recovered himself he suddenly grabbed at Charles's shirt causing the other to be startled. Erik was looking at him darkly and spoke in a deadly tone, the tears still streaming down his cheeks.
"Promise me you'll wait for me if that ever happens, Xavier! You better keep it or I'll hunt you down and beat your brains in if you don't!"
"E-Erik?" Charles looked at him with wide eyes.
Erik grabbed him into a rough embrace, holding the back of his head. Erik as always, seemed to swing towards an extreme expression of his feelings when it comes to Charles. Charles was not sure if he would consider it endearing or appalling. He made a small smile, and held Erik back gently, patting his back.
"Alright Erik, alright-"
"Good," Erik said, finally relieved and kept on holding Charles.
They had gone back to the top where the parking lot is, putting away the picnic basket in the car and then they used the lavatories that were set up close to the parking area to wash the picnic dishes and do their business. Instead of going back down to the preserve, Erik lead Charles to a more elevated area of the park.
"How did you know about this place, Erik?" Charles asked as they made their trek up a steep incline of a grassy trail.
"When we used to have our family reunions when I was younger, we go to this place. I still remembered how to get here and from time to time I go back here by myself-" Erik answered him, holding onto the same picnic blanket they used earlier and he had an oversized brown bag slung to his shoulder.
"Well I'm glad you took me here, it's just beautiful. The place is very well maintained-"
Erik smiled secretly and slapped his bottom while walking behind him, surprising Charles.
"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet-"
"What are you up to, Erik?" Charles giggled as he climbed on; he was beginning to think it was something indecent again.
"I'm up to a lot of things. That is a fine ass you have there, by the way. Whatever do you do to get it like that?" Erik said in a naughty tone of voice as they continued. Charles continued to giggle as Erik teased him and tried to grope for his behind.
When they got to the top, it was nearing twilight and it was throwing a pinkish cast over the sky, dipping into a golden hue where the sun is setting. Erik laid out the blanket again and then he took some items out of the bag. Erik took out a sketch pad and a box of coloring pencils and pens. He gestured for Charles to sit.
"I want to draw you in this light, Charles-"
Charles was slightly amused that Erik, who had abhorred such things before, had decided to finally show his talent to him.
"Ok, how would you have me pose here?" Charles began as he took his glasses off.
Erik grinned back wickedly."Honestly, I'd rather have you posing naked but you might catch a cold-"
That had Charles laughing again and then he leaned back on his arms and tried to find a comfortable sitting position while he looked on at Erik, his chin slightly down, his eyes seductively staring on at the other, his smile turning naughty.
"Charles, stop giving me that 'rape me' face. I need you to look normal-" Erik said seriously but his eyes were also playful at the same time.
Charles feigned an annoyed huff of breath, breaking out into giggles and then he just gave Erik a small smile, his eyes clear and blue and seeming to catch the light. His expression grew relaxed and tender.
"Perfection!" Erik said in a throaty voice and he began to sketch with a pencil first, his movements quick and haphazard. Time seemed to pass without them noticing as they looked at each other, Erik was trying to concentrate on immortalizing Charles onto a piece of paper while the other stared on at him, admiring how handsome he is and what a mystery he still was. He was also wondering what more was in store for him as he spent more time with Erik. Then Erik gestured that he should come over so he could look at his drawing. He sat by Erik's side and looked down at what he did. It was an achingly beautiful work that was how Charles thought as he gazed at it. Erik got every detail; it almost looked like Erik took a photo of him. The way the tone of his skin was colored warmly with the stroke of the colored pens, the way his eyes were so bright and alive and so blue, full of a tenderness Charles never realized he was conveying. Erik got the way his eyelids are hooded and deep set, with his expressive eyebrows arching over them and his lips that are generous and red, giving that faintly amused close-mouthed smile. Erik even got his small quirks like the light spray of freckles over his nose, his round chin, the faint lines and dimples at the sides of his mouth, his eye bags from all the late night studying and the small lines on his wide forehead. His hair in this drawing had a reddish tinge, as if burnished by the light of the sun.
Erik leaned down and kissed the side of his head. "That is how you look at me each time, Charles and that is what made me fall in love you-"
Charles felt himself blushing once more, his eyes twinkling. "Erik, You're such a goddamned romantic-"
Erik gave a small laugh at that then he signed his work and handed over the entire sketchpad to Charles, who hugged it to his chest when he closed it. Then he put it aside and sidled closer to Erik, making it so he had his back pressed to Erik's chest, leaning against him as Erik wrapped his arms around him affectionately. They sat there, enjoying the quiet and the slowly fading light of the day as dusk settled in.
"Erik, it's getting dark. I think we should go-"
Erik murmured a reply at the back of his head. "No, Charles. I have to tell you a story first. Close your eyes and sleep if you want while I tell it to you-"
"But what if I want to hear the entire story?"
"Go ahead then. Listen. It is sort of boring so it might really put you to sleep-"
"Does it start with once upon a time?" Charles joked.
Erik laughed at that and nuzzled his face into Charles's hair. Then he began, his voice husky and soft, almost as if he did not want anyone to hear it.
"There was this young man...he's just your typical teenager, he's a slacker at his school. He didn't care if he failed or if he was average. He's crude and cruel. He liked destroying things. He liked to play cruel pranks on people because he thought it was funny and it made him cool. He likes to party every night and drink beer with his friends, who were aggressive and mean like him. He did a lot of bad things that are almost seriously criminal; he stole things, he goes to rave parties to get high and get drunk. He just felt...like this could go on forever-"
Charles put his hands up and held onto Erik's arms that are around him. He almost turned to look over at him but Erik stopped him.
"Hey, I didn't tell you to open your eyes yet!" Erik scolded him gently and pulled him back so he would lie back onto Erik's chest. Charles sighed softly.
"This young man, his life was really spinning out of control. He had no direction. He only lived for the moment. He didn't care if his friends are ahead of him as long as he was considered part of that group. He did a lot of stupid things with them and just laughed it all off. So he lived this way, this typical teenage slacker until a situation brought him close to this very special young man-"
Charles kept his eyes closed, comforted by the warmth of Erik's body but troubled by what Erik was trying to say. Even beneath his closed lids, he could sense the light was waning faster. Night time was almost descending.
"It was a quirk of fate that brought them together and at first, the young man refused to understand what he felt for the other. And when he finally let it take control of him, he found someone that drew him away from all the bad things in his life, he found something new to focus on...this other young man was like...some type of drug, but it was a good one...it made him feel better, healed the broken pieces inside of him and this other young man loves him, maybe more than he loves himself-"
"Erik!" Charles said in a choked voice, his grip tightening on Erik. He wanted to open his eyes but he squeezed them tighter instead. Erik bent down and kissed the side of his face.
"And you know what? This special young man before me makes me want to become a good person because I love him back-"
Charles was starting to cry but Erik shushed him. "Shh, no tears. We're supposed to be happy today-"
Charles's eyelids trembled; a slow trickle of tears fell from them anyway, making his lashes dewy. He was unable to stop them from coming. Erik gently wiped them off with his fingers as the other lay against him. They were quiet again for some time. It was getting colder so it was a good thing they were both dressed warmly. The wind made the grass and the trees ripple, it made their hair flutter about as it passed by, seeming to sigh over them. Charles felt his cheeks grow slightly cold but his back and his chest felt very warm.
"Open your eyes, Charles-" Erik whispered in his ear.
Charles opened them and he saw the beautiful nighttime sky, as if they are now surrounded by a sea of stars. The pinprick of lights seeming to explode all over the indigo blue and shone down on them, the moon illuminating everything else, throwing down it's milky light.
"Amazing!" Charles cried out in admiration over this beautiful sight before him. Down at their city, he never saw stars as clearly as he could see these ones, perhaps because they are on a high, elevated terrain and the skies are clearer and free of the city smog. Charles turned to finally look at Erik, sitting up straight and smiling up at him happily. This was just so romantic of Erik to do. Charles was at a loss for words, his heart felt like it would hurt with so much overwhelming emotions. He just sat there next to Erik and they gazed up at the stars quietly.
They started to make their way down after some time, Erik had a flashlight with him and was lighting their passage when he noticed something flickering over some tall grass nearby. He turned off the flashlight and Charles let out a soft gasp. There were a lot of fireflies around them, with their ghostly-green light faintly lighting their surroundings. Erik suddenly went towards some grass and shook them, more fireflies flew about them and they both started to play around the grass like little children, dropping whatever they were carrying and chasing each other amongst the fireflies, disturbing the bushes and the tall grass, stirring up more of the phosphorescent insects, both of them laughing and just having the best time together. And then Charles pushed Erik down onto the grass as he lay on top of him, sending the fireflies to scatter away. The moonlight was still there to at least give Charles a view of Erik's face, who was looking up at him lovingly, some laughter still trapped in his throat.
"I don't know much about dating but this has got to be the best first date I will ever have-"
"I've never taken any girl here-" Erik confessed.
Charles chuckled softly against his neck as he lay his face closer to Erik's skin. "Why not?"
Erik murmured against his head, caressing the back of his neck as he held Charles in a loose embrace with one arm. "None of them are as amazing as you-"
Charles wondered if Erik could feel his heart racing as his chest was pressed against the other, his cheeks had grown hot again and he was full of this warm, fluttery feeling for Erik. He lifted his head and kissed him softly on the lips and the other kissed him the same way. It was all very gentle and soft and unlike how boys would probably kiss but somehow, it works for the both of them. They just lay there facing each other, embracing. Charles thought he was going to doze off there but Erik shook him and told them it was time to go.
When he got back home late, Charles felt as if his head was still high up in the clouds, he found himself singing the song Erik was singing in the car earlier under his breath because he didn't want to wake anyone up with his off key singing. He had a dizzy smile on his face as he put aside his things. When he got out of Erik's car earlier, Erik had pulled him back in and kissed him passionately once more, holding onto one cheek and then he let Charles go. He was breathless and trembling with desire again after that kiss but Erik told him this wasn't a night for them to have sex, that would be for some other time. Charles was about to enter his room but Raven opened her door and peeked over at him.
"Charles? H-how was your date?" Raven asked hesitantly. She was wearing a pale blue nightie and she had her hair in a loose braid to the side of her shoulder. Charles smiled at her sweetly and he sighed happily. It made Raven smile back at him.
"Do you want me to tell you?" Charles said in a low voice. Raven opened her door wide and gestured for him to enter her room. Charles went in and sat on her bed. Raven's room was the opposite of Charles's room. Charles had his room painted a dark blue with white molding and he had a dark gray carpet laid out while her room was a very pale yellow pearlescent color with an off-white carpet. Charles rolled over and lay on his stomach on her bed while he told her what happened and Raven sat before him with one leg folded, the other leg dangled to the side of the bed. Raven could see how in love Charles was with Erik, just by the way he spoke about him and his eyes were so vibrant and happy as he told her about their romantic date. Raven felt a pang of jealousy come over her.
"Who knew that bastard could be like this with you-" Raven suddenly muttered and Charles widened his eyes at her, still smiling.
"Raven! Don't call him like that!"
"Well he is still an ass. I guess it will take some time getting used to seeing you two together or even thinking that you two are together-"
"But that's the thing. We won't be seen together by anyone here at all. We still have to keep it a secret until time will tell if we are going to be really together-"
"Honestly, I'm jealous. Secret lovers like Romeo and Juliet, a sort of forbidden love... I didn't ever imagine that my own brother would be in this position-"
"Let's just hope Erik and I don't end up in a tragic ending like Romeo and Juliet," Charles said dryly. He reached for her leg, squeezing it. "And don't be jealous! You'll find the one for you someday-"
"Yeah well not anytime soon, I think. Look, I've been dating all types of guys at school. Mostly the jocks, the popular guys. I dated a few artistic ones and a loner. None of them really held my interest for long-"
"Maybe you want to try dating a geek-" Charles suggested.
Raven made a face at that."No! No way! I won't ever be seen with a geek or a nerd, whatever you call it. That would make me unpopular! No offense to you, ok Charles but I want to take over Kitty Pryde's seat when she finally graduates-"
"None taken. Ah, it's still all about the cliques in school, huh? I really don't understand that. I mean...it's like a pack behavior. Why can't we all just get along?"
"Because the sheep can't mix in with the wolves, same as jocks can't be friends with the goths. Think of it that way, Charles-" Raven stopped. "But I guess you and Erik are an exception to the rule-"
"Hmm, true-"
Raven sidled up to Charles, putting an arm around him. "Since I see you are happy with him, I'll back you up. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always come over-"
Charles pressed his face to her shoulder, sighing. "Thank you, Raven. That means a lot to me. I'm sort of glad you found out about us...now at least I have someone to talk to about it-"
"Well as long as I don't see you two having sex again! It's really awkward seeing a family member having sex. Like when I saw mom and dad at it when I was young...ewww, gross-"
Charles laughed at that. "Raven, more than anything it's your fault each time because you are so damned curious!"
Raven stuck her tongue out at him and then they both just laughed over it.
"Erik!" Shaw snapped his fingers before Erik's eyes and was chuckling at him when he looked like he was suddenly startled from a deep thought.
"You here with us, man?" The others started to laugh as Erik smiled at his circle of friends. They are at some popular kid's party and they are hanging close to where the beer was being served. Loud music blared out and pumped in time to a vein in Erik's temple and it was pounding in his ears, giving him a slight headache.
"That must be some high you on. What you takin?" Victor Creed asked as he downed his beer and let out a loud belch.
There was some girl sitting at Victor's lap and she tittered when he did that. Erik just kept on smiling as he drank his own beer.
"It was only one barb, all gone-" Erik lied.
In truth, he was not taking any drug at all. He only took drugs offered to him at any party he goes to but he never had any that he brought by himself. He hated losing control of himself. He had such a bad high once and ended up waking at some girls house, not knowing what day it was or where he was and he felt so horrible he puked all over her carpet. That was one girl he never met again after. The house they are at has a throng of half-dressed girls and a lot of jocks and preps. All the cheerleaders were probably here as well. Erik could hear uproarious laughter coming from one circle and at another a group of girls gabbing on loudly. A few girls were giving him appreciative looks and they were trying to get his attention by eyeing him openly but he ignored them. One of the popular kids, Cain Marko, a lackluster pitcher on the baseball team came into the room with Raven at his side. He was all muscles but he was no match for Shaw and the others. He was only on the team as an accessory, nothing more. Cain released Raven from his clutches and went over to Shaw's table, giving Shaw and the rest a nod of greeting, acting cool.
"S'up guys?"
Shaw stood up and gave him a smug smile, bumping fists with him. "All is cool, bro. This is some happenin' party your friend threw-"
Cain laughed and patted Shaw's back. "Sure is! There's gonna be more beer coming in. They got them metal barrels ordered up already-"
"Nice," Shaw nodded appreciatively at this. Cain said his goodbyes to the group and went back to Raven, who stood partly at the back and did not join Cain at the table. She had been holding Erik's eye and he was looking back at her, a frown on his face. She was wearing a short denim skirt and a skimpy white tank top and a thin cardigan that did little to cover up her chest. Erik did not approve of her coming here dressed the way she is but he could not tell her anything, not in front of his group. What would Charles think if he saw his sister dressed like some easy lay? Erik's thoughts returned to Charles. He was probably in his bed sleeping by now, or he could be reading a book like he always does. Erik kept thinking of how Charles looks like when he sleeps, lying on his side or his back, he always had a hand under his pillow for some reason, a quirk that Erik found cute. Erik had slept many nights next to Charles and he liked to listen to Charles breathing quietly as he slept, his mouth pursed out like a little child, his deep-set eyes gently fluttering beneath lowered lashes. The thought of Charles made Erik smile inwardly.
"Say Erik, wasn't that the bitch who slapped you at the mall?" Victor asked as he blew out his smoke and gestured with his head towards Raven, who was walking off with Cain away from them. Erik shrugged.
"Yeah, I got her back through her homo brother-" Erik said smugly. Victor smiled at that and then he nuzzled the girl he had at his lap, making her screech and giggle. She was getting on Erik's nerves. The discussion went to the success of their last two games and their anticipated face off with Wyngarde Academy. Erik had told them about his fight before with some Wyngarde goons who were bad-mouthing Grimalkin High's baseball team. Shaw knew exactly who they were and he was laughing at the fact that Erik single-handedly beat them all up.
"Fucking Pussies! They can't think of beating us after my man Erik here bashed them right up to the stone ages!" The circle laughed at that.
The party was getting into full swing as more people arrived and more loud laughter floated up from somewhere. There were kids hanging out at the pool and some of them were already dancing to the loud music set up from a sound system outside. Shaw punched lightly at Erik's shoulder as he sat next to him.
"Say, you got something planned up for us? On how to get back at Summers? That fucking pisser really ruined it for me-"
Erik leaned back and thought quietly, his circle of friends was expecting him to say something. Everyone always seemed to think his ideas and opinions were the most wicked when it comes to thinking up schemes. Of the group, he was the one with the looks and the brains, even though he was a year behind because he got into trouble for not attending summer school and he was delayed because of that. Erik showed them all his cruel smile with an evil glint in his eyes.
"Alex Summers,"
"Who?" Shaw asked, baffled.
Erik played around with his can of beer as he looked around at everyone. "He's the principal's little brother. He attends a different school. He's a junior like me. I hear he's an average kind of guy, not on good terms with his big bro-"
"So what about him?" Janos asked as he crushed his can of beer and reached for a new one, popping the tab as he continued to stare at Erik.
"We get him into our circle. Get him feeling right and welcome. And when he is all chummy with us-"
Shaw smiled a mean smile at that, nodding in understanding. "We could get him to be just like us-"
Erik still had his own score to settle with Summers. This was the perfect plan. To turn Principal Summers's little brother into such a rotten apple like him, it will alienate the kid brother further with Summers and will ruin their reputations. He had been toying with this idea for some time now but he was hesitant to bring it up for a reason. He wondered what Charles would think if he did something this cruel and mean. He was not sure Charles would understand why his hatred of Summers was well founded and just. Erik thought Summers was a lying piece of trash who took advantage of people. Maybe someday Erik would finally be able to tell Charles the details.
"We'll get him to do some crazy shit that will stir up the Summers's nest and we can even order him to trash Summers's car. I like that," Shaw said, grinning wickedly at the brilliance of Erik's idea. Deep inside of himself, there was a nagging voice that told him this was a really bad idea. Charles might even get angry with him. No matter. This was something he had to do. Charles would eventually forgive him.
It was easy to get Alex Summer's to join their group. He was a loner in his own school and he had heard of Erik's legendary status in their town, arousing the hero-worshipping he had felt for the other. Alex had found a big brother in Erik as he confided in him on how he hated his own brother for pressuring him all the time and putting him down. Erik had plied him to tell all with beer and Shaw had introduced Alex to some uppers to get him to 'loosen up' some more. Erik did not think the drugs were necessary since it seems like Alex was theirs. Erik knew what buttons to push for Alex like he does with Shaw. They were in Shaw's van, drinking beer in the back and smoking one night and then Erik encouraged Alex to go on a night of anarchy with the group and Alex had readily agreed. They started by breaking a glass window over at a convenience store they had passed by, using Shaw's black van; the plates are hidden so it would be harder to trace their vehicle. They then used their bats and began destroying the mailboxes and fences at another side of the neighborhood close to where the Summers's resided. As the night drew on, the group stopped by at another convenience store where they stole beer as Erik flirted with the middle-aged female cashier, drawing her attention away from the surveillance monitors. The final touch to their night of wild fun was to trash Principal Summers's car, with Alex being the one to do the damage, throwing a trash can right at the front windshield and wrecking it completely. Near morning found them at a rave party tent set up close to one of the local parks, gorging themselves on more alcohol and more partying.
News of what they had done spread like wildfire at Grimalkin High the day after but since it was only gossip, there has yet to be proof of their actions or involvement in felony and destruction of private property. Alex got into trouble at his school because he had grown more hostile and aggressive towards his teachers, he was nearly expelled. Principal Summers called Erik back into his office once more. The principal's face was wrathful. He did not even beat around the bush.
"Sit down," He said abruptly. He had remained standing next to his table.
Erik was unafraid of him and he sat languidly in one of the chairs, his insolent smile spread across his face, it was almost as if he relished the fact that he got a rise out of the principal.
"My younger brother and I might not have been on good terms, Mr Lehnsherr but he told me a few details of why my car was totalled and why there has been a great amount of destruction at our neighborhood recently. It seems your name came up during our heated discussion-"
"So? I ain't taking blame for what your brother had done. He did what he must have done because he wanted to. I'm not involved in any of that. If you heard people talking, it's just talk-"
"That is true, Mr Lehnsherr-"
"Besides, what I do outside of school is none of your goddamned business-" Erik said slowly, his expression arrogant.
Principal Summers let out a long sigh. He took his glasses off and regarded Erik, almost with a strange sadness in his eyes. Principal Summers did not look anything like his brother, whereas Alex was blond haired, the Principal's hair was a dark auburn. They both have the same blue eyes and the fine cheekbones but other than that, they are complete opposites.
"Erik," Principal Summers began quietly and Erik reacted at being called so familiarly by the other. He bristled and stared hard at Principal Summers, letting out a sharp hissing sound of annoyance.
"Do you want to understand why you are so angry with me?"
"Don't you dare do any psycho-babble crap with me! I ain't falling for that shit!" Erik said angrily.
Erik was quickly getting out of his chair but the principal pushed him down hard to sit again, startling Erik and making him frown at Principal Summers in confusion.
"Sit down, Mr Lehnsherr! I think we should have had this talk years back. I have let this go on for too long!" Principal Summers said vehemently. He was glaring down at Erik angrily as well. Erik had wanted to see the principal angry and he was finally seeing the man lose control of himself like he had always wanted.
"This is about your mother, isn't it?"
Erik froze in his seat, blinking repeatedly at him. For once he did not say anything. The principal sighed again and pressed his behind to his table, still standing before Erik.
"I didn't say anything, because your mother asked me to keep quiet about it, that it was important I keep you out of it. I should have used my better judgment and advised that you both attended family counseling-"
"Don't talk about my mother, you asshole!" Erik suddenly cried out and was about to lash out at the principal but the other grabbed his arm and forced him back down with some sort of self-defense move, pressing him down on the floor.
"Erik, listen to me! I did not sleep with your mother!" Principal Summers said tightly and then he released Erik. The secretary had opened the door because of the screaming. She looked quite appalled by seeing them this way but the principal gestured to her that it was ok. She closed the door again and the principal helped Erik back to his chair.
"What do you mean?" Erik was not falling for the principal's lies but he wanted to hear something from him that he had always wanted to find out. He will have to confirm it with his mother later. He still glared at the principal angrily.
"Erik you saw me, three years ago coming out from your house, remember? That was what you thought when you saw me back then. Don't pretend you didn't see me or you would not be acting the way you do if you didn't. I know a week before that, your dad left you and your mom-"
Erik did not say anything more. He wanted Summers to continue. He needed to hear this.
"You probably didn't even know this but U.S. Child Protective Services would have taken you away from your mother. They visited your house. Your mother was not able to secure a job because she was ill at that time. Your mother also did not have the right qualifications to get any job then. She didn't get to finish high school. She was hoping to enter cleaning services but illness prevented her from getting even that. You were about to lose your home at that time too, because she couldn't pay the rent. I hate to be the one to tell you this but your dad left you and your mother to be with another woman-"
Erik was too stunned to speak. He recalled that time...he had been staying out of their house a lot, always fighting with his mother because he thought she was to blame for his father leaving, when it was the complete opposite. His father had abandoned them, and he didn't even know the real story. Erik had been acting out and had been so reckless at that time; he almost got expelled out of school. He thought Principal Summers was being lenient because he was sleeping with his mother before.
"Your mother was so desperate; she even called your dad. She lied to Child Services and told them he was also sick, because that would mean he would come back to town and you would know about your father's affair. She didn't want you to know because she knew how much you idolized your father. And your pathetic excuse of a father would not even give her child support. He knew about your delinquency when he asked your mother about you and she told him everything. He said he would not give her a dime if you got dropped out of school and if she can't get you under control-"
Erik suddenly felt cold, deep in the pit of his stomach. He felt hollow, as if he was not really there.
"So she came to me, begging me to help keep you in school. You do recall, Erik that I tried to help you back then, having the teachers force you to read books, having you paired off with other students for study groups. You rejected every form of help I could offer. Yet she refused for you to know that she asked for help, because she knew deep inside you are too proud to ask help from anyone. That day when you saw me at your house, I wrote a check to pay your rent. I told her she didn't have to pay me back but she payed back every single cent, slowly. I also lied for her and told Child Services she works at school, as my second secretary. She did work for me, part time because she was not well but she was finally getting to her feet. This got Child Services off her back and your father did send some money to tide both of you through after I made sure you stay in school. She was just glad she got to keep you, that is how much your mother loves you-"
"No. No you lie. It's all lies-" Erik said in a faraway voice, his entire frame feeling heavy, like he did not have the strength to suddenly move.
"It's the truth. Erik, I think it's about time you have a talk with your mom. The things you have been doing, they have grown seriously out of control and you have involved my brother in your self-destructive ways as well-" Principal Summers actually sounded like he pitied him.
"Your mother worked hard by herself to get you through and provide for you. I'm not sure if you asked her but she works at a baked goods factory, does she not? It was not exactly a high paying job but she made sure you got the best of everything, even if she did not have any for herself. Did you not ask her how she got you your car? How she got you all the things you have now? You are squandering her hopes and dreams for you by doing the things you have done and I don't know if I have the tolerance to still keep you here, Mr Lehnsherr-"
Erik's eyes seemed to tremble, looking over bright and threatening to let loose a torrent of tears, Erik was breathing harshly as he listened on.
"I would have to apologize to your mother for breaking my silence but enough is enough, Erik-" Principal Summers said softly. He straightened his tie and went round to his desk and sat in his chair, still looking over at Erik. Erik finally lifted his head, his eyes still dark and angry but Principal Summers could see he finally pierced through Erik's veneer of arrogance. Erik looked very vulnerable and lost. He stood up slowly.
"Let me leave. I need to... I need to think-" Erik murmured, his eyes looking hazy, one tear slid slowly down but he wiped it roughly away.
"Very well. You may go. We will continue this later, Mr Lehnsherr-"
Erik nodded and on leadened feet he stomped off outside, only to stop in the lavatories and finally he sat in one of the toilets and wept quietly by himself. He heard kids coming and going but he was too numb to move and go to his next class. He heard a familiar voice when he heard Sean Cassidy singing to himself as he took a piss. Erik flung open his cubicle door grabbing at his shoulder, surprising Sean who hurriedly tried to zip his fly when Erik glared at him, his eyes ringed red for some reason.
"Get Xavier in here now!" Erik said in a guttural voice. Sean nodded in fear and hurriedly left. Moments later, Charles was knocking on his cubicle door softly.
"Erik?" Charles called for his name worriedly.
Erik at first could not move from the closed seat of the toilet. He felt like everything was falling apart and he needed to find some semblance of calm, something that will hold him together. Sean was at the main door of the boy's room looking in at Charles. Charles turned to face Sean.
"I think you should leave, Sean. And did you get that out-of-service sign like I told you? Good. Now let me talk with him and go back to class-" Charles left to momentarily lock the main door and then he went back to Erik's door again.
"Erik, open this door and talk to me. Tell me what happened-"
Charles sighed. Sean had been curious to know why Erik the bully was calling for him and that he looked like he had been crying. When Sean told him that, Charles immediately left the classroom telling Ms Frost he had an emergency and willingly left with Sean. Sean had started asking questions but Charles told him he will answer those later. Erik would not have done this if it was not something very serious. Charles leaned his head at the door.
"Erik, you know I'm here for you. I'll wait until you are ready to talk-"
Erik finally opened the door and Charles could see he had been crying. Charles walked over to him and in the narrowness of the cubicle, Charles hugged Erik tight and pressed his face to Erik's head as the other started to sob uncontrollably again, his shoulders hitching as he hugged Charles's waist. When Erik had finished with his bout of sobbing, he told Charles everything that had happened. He had not told Charles what he had planned out with Alex Summers and this was the only time he had told him what he had done.
"Oh Erik!" Charles said in a pained voice but his eyes were not accusing. Charles was crying too, his eyes brimmed with tears and Erik could see the forgiveness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Erik whispered.
"Erik, listen to me. We are in school right now. We have to attend our classes. I'm going to give you time to get yourself together. After school...we'll go to your mom. Principal Summers is right. You have to talk to her-"
"Charles, I don't think I can do this. I don't know if I have the strength.-"
"You can and you will. I'll help you-"
Charles bent down and kissed his lips, tasting his tears in that kiss again and holding his cheeks in his palms as he kissed the other, who kept on hugging his waist. Charles comforted him the only way he knew how. Gently, Charles caressed his face and pulled back, guiding Erik to the sink so he can wash his face.
"I'll leave first. I'll give you five minutes-" Charles said softly. He kissed Erik's cheek after he had helped him dry up with a paper towel and then he stepped out, removing the sign and putting it away. Erik sighed, stared at himself in the mirror for some time and drawing in a steadying breath, he stepped out of the door after the five minute time frame.
Erik did not even talk with his crew that day. He avoided them best as he could and after school, he met up with Charles at his car. Erik leaned on his car and was about to start crying again but Charles steadied him and gave him a brief hug, helping him into the car. Mr Logan saw them once more as he was getting into his own car himself. Those two again. How odd it is that Erik looked like a zombie around school all day and he was strangely quiet, looking as if the fight had been taken out of him. And now this. Charles was a sweet young man and to see him associating with Erik was beyond Mr Logan. Everyone in school knows of the new mischief Erik and his group had been up to, even the teachers. For a moment, Mr Logan almost thought they have some sort of relationship but that was just too preposterous. Charles would be out of his mind if he did something that would affect his educational pursuits and Erik was a homophobic young man, he had frequently teased Charles about his supposed 'homosexuality'. It was just too bizarre. Mr Logan shook his head and finally got his car started. He wondered if he should follow them then.
Charles held Erik's hand as they walked up to Erik's front porch and Erik opened the door. Today was his mother's day off. She would be in the house. It was a perfectly good time to talk to her. Charles told him he will wait in the kitchen. It seems Mrs Lehnsherr was lying out on the sofa, sleeping. Erik quietly came towards her and kneeled at the side of the sofa, looking at her face. Even in sleep, her face had looked worn down with worry, there are deep lines on her forehead and her eyes had deep eye bags from working late shifts. Her hair was prematurely graying. She lay on her back, her mouth closed, her head turned towards the back of the sofa, one arm over the other. Her eyes were like Charles's eyes, deep-set, large and expressive and they are closed right now, seeming to nervously roll behind her lids. Erik's chin trembled; he was on the verge of crying again just looking at her. He had done her so much wrong, he wondered if he could still make it up to her. Principal Summers had no reason to lie.
"Mom," Erik finally called out to her. He called her repeatedly, gently shaking her shoulder until she finally woke up. She blinked twice, she was at first unsure of what she was seeing. Erik was sitting close by and he looked like he had been crying, he was holding one of her hands, like he used to do when he was a little boy. He had stopped holding her hand after his dad had left. The expression on her son's face was one of overwhelming grief and he looked so full of regret.
He must have known the truth then.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Mom. I know. I know everything-" Erik sobbed and then he placed his face to her chest and held onto her, his shoulders shaking with his sobs.
Mrs Lehnsherr held him gently, relief finally washing over her. She should have listened to Mr Summers and talked to Erik, because now she knew that he understood why she did what she had to do. She patted his back, stroking down at the leather jacket that covered it.
"Erik, I'm the one that should apologize. I should have told you-"
"Mom, I know why you couldn't tell me. You shouldn't have to apologize-" He lifted his head to look at her, his tears still streaming down his face.
"I thought dad left because he thought we were both worthless but now I know he's the worthless one, Mom! He doesn't deserve you!"
Erik was overwhelmed by his emotions and started sobbing again, making her start to cry to as they held each other. It had been so long since she was able to hold Erik this way. It was a miracle to her that her son could finally love her again and that he accepted the truth about his father. Charles, the young friend that frequently came to their house was peeking over the edge of the kitchen door, also crying at the sight of them. She thought he was a good boy because she saw them frequently talking and studying in Erik's room. He was a better company to her son than the mean boys he had been hanging out with for the longest time.
"Oh, your friend is here," Mrs Lehnsherr said as she kept holding onto Erik. Erik pulled back from her and regarded her face silently for a moment. Erik called Charles over and when Charles drew near, Erik reached for his hand and held it. Charles tried to pull back, his expression nervous and shy but Erik kept on holding him, right in front of his mother.
"I'm through with the lies. I'm through with all the hating. Mom. You have to know...he and I-"
Mrs Lehnsherr immediately understood. She reached out and gently smoothed Erik's hair away from his face. She spoke softly.
"Erik, as long as Charles makes you happy... I accept him with open arms. If he was the one that had been helping you become a better person, then he is part of our family-"
Erik's face crumpled with tears again and then Erik drew Charles near and all three held onto each other. Charles felt slightly shy and awkward but he was glad that Mrs Lehnsherr was a very understanding woman. All three were later sitting together, eating dinner and enjoying each others company. For the first time in his life, Erik was finally free of that darkness that had been hanging over him for so long. He had two of the people he loved in all the world right in front of him and he could never have felt any happier.
