AN::

I finished up editing this chapter after Sammichbatch gave it back to me listening to "Barefoot at the Symphony" from Idina Menzel's concert thingy on tv and I'm not okay. It was a bad decision because now I'm a mess.

Also, I hope you guys like this chapter because it's the one of the chapters I've had the hardest time writing other than the one after this one. I'm stuck and I hope I get through it unscathed.

Thank you all for the encouraging comments, you don't know how much they've helped and given me a little outside push and I'm so grateful. Would you guys like responses? I haven't thought about it before - I've always thought that if anyone really wanted to talk to me they would message me, which I'm totally open to! Go right ahead, or tell me in the comments if you'd like me to send messages to those of you who comment? I'm not opposed. I'm definitely a talker - as you can see. So be warned.

Okay.. "No Day But Today" is on and I'm crying. Enjoy my suffering.
((Unrelated - "Rory" is Aurora, Ariel is exactly who you think she is, and they'll probably make a few small appearances here and there as well.))

Reviews make me smile - you are loved.


Past 1:00 am Sunday morning, Regina felt it.

She looked down in her hands at the small digital camera and the image illuminated there – the same scene that she walked in on a few minutes earlier that warmed her heart.

Henry's old bed sheet spread on top of the chairs from the dining room making a fort in the middle of the living room. Inside, as simply as she could state it, was her family.

Henry was curled on his side with his butt pushed up toward Emma's hip and her free arm was stretched out under his head. Her other arm was firmly wrapped around Emmet, who was peacefully snoozing on her chest, one of his very round cheeks pressing into the spot of drool that he had graced Emma's worn out V-neck with.

Emma herself looked as peaceful as Regina had ever seen her. And it was when Regina didn't have the slightest hesitation in calling the boys their children in her mind, and seeing them wrapped around the blonde so effortlessly. She looked at them, and the thought resonated in her mind, they love her, and she didn't know if it was in the middle of, before, or after that the thought was replaced with I love her.

I love her.

Regina's jaw dropped and her shoulders slumped as she stared away.

Not that she'd never felt it before, because the urge to be near the other woman was always there. There were so many reasons to love her, platonically and.. more than that . But tonight was too quiet and too far removed from any outside influence for Regina to pawn the emotion off on gratitude or fondness. It stared her in the face in the most blatant way.

How many times had they held each others hands and supported the other for any reason at all? They'd chosen each other over everyone else on so many things, and shared children, and cooked dinners and made the other laugh. Two and a half years of memories and smiles ran through her mind as she just sat there, grasping at straws and wondering if this was right – if this was actually happening to her.

God, she cared about Emma so much. There was no one else she trusted with the boys half as much as the blonde. She knew she'd be lying to herself if she discounted all of the times she'd stared as the other woman put her hair up, or the way the muscles in her back moved when she lifted Emmet above her head. There was no denying the pain in her stomach when Ruby touched her back or kissed her cheek, or when Emma would knock the younger brunette with her shoulder and flash a grin. Really anytime they looked at each other like a million secrets swam between them.

Emma shifted in her sleep and Regina looked back as her lips parted the tiniest bit and her cheek pressed against Emmet's forehead.

She was happy.

Everything about Emma said she was absolutely happy, from her actual words to the extra wrinkle next to her eye when she smiled. The way things already were, right then, made her happy. And that was fine.

The camera made its ugly beeping noise that said it was running low on battery and everyone shifted a bit. Henry and Emmet made faces and snuggled closer to Emma, but Emma herself picked her head up, saw Regina, and let herself relax again.

She blinked her eyes slowly. "Hey."

"Hi." Regina whispered back. She hadn't been concerned with the tears welling in her eyes until just then.

"I thought you were coming back tomorrow?"

She shrugged. "I didn't want to spend another night in the hotel."

Emma yawned before she looked up. "You okay?"

Regina nodded.

"You look weird or… sad or something."

"I think how tired I am just hit me." She lied, letting a large huff of air out.

The blonde squinted at her carefully, but didn't push the subject, instead she started to pull her arm from under Henry's head and sit up. "I guess I should-"

"No, stop it." Regina frowned and made a motion for her to lie back down. "It's late. Go back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yes – absolutely. We'll clean up in the morning."

"Okay, then."

"Thank you again, for watching them."

"Yeah.." Emma just smiled and eased herself back down, adjusting so Emmet was laying closer to her shoulder, her arm curved so he could nestle in the space there. "I just do it for the free food."

"Goodnight – you profound idiot."

All she got was a snort in return.

Regina kissed both of her boys on the forehead, and felt the buzzing of nerves in her gut when she hovered over Emma for half a second too long. But with just a touch of play, Regina pressed her lips to Emma's forehead as well for a fleeting moment and left the room.

She couldn't fathom the fact that Emma felt that same pain stabbing at her – that their smiles both faded quickly as Regina climbed the stairs.


Two Years Later

The hum of chatter died down for a moment as he neared the plate calmly – with ease like he was stepping into his room.

Henry swung his bat in his wrist, twirling the tiny end almost like a baton, with grace and strategy. He kicked his feet on the side of the mound before taking the bat up and widening his stance. His eye met the pitchers and he nodded at the other boy, daring him to send him a ball he couldn't hit if he didn't want to.

No matter how many times they attended, Regina tensed her shoulders and held her breath as Henry pumped his shoulders briefly, readying himself for the pitch. Emma on the other hand smiled, knowing the expression on her face before she could look, and held Emmet close on her lap, whispering for him to stay quiet for a second so Henry could concentrate.

The pitcher wound up and Henry narrowed his eyes, studying.

The ball was thrown and Henry let it sail right past his bat, shaking his head with confidence.

"Ball!" The umpire yelled.

The fourteen year old flexed his shoulders again and pursed his lips – an action that made him look more like Regina than any other time.

Once more, the boy from the other team pulled back and released the ball, flying in Henry's direction.

This time he swung. The ball hit the bat with a solid pop to the wood and went sailing in an elegant arch.

Immediately everyone from their side erupted in shrieking encouragement.

Emma and Regina stood at the same time, screaming at the top of their lungs. Emmet turned to look from Emma's hip and raised his little arms yelling, "Go Ehwy! Go go go go!" in his high pitched, raspy, little voice.

The older Mills boy wasted no time setting off and rounding first, his arms becoming blurs at his sides in his attempt to use his entire body to propel him.

Second base and his teammates stood in the dugout and cheered as well.

He neared third and the boys on the other team were scrambling to get the ball closer and get him out.

But Henry kept at it – his face twisted in determination as he made the last stretch, sliding to home on one knee and with the other foot out to catch the plate before the ball went soaring past the catcher and hit the fence a little too high instead.

The announcer's voice over the loud speakers was drowned out by all the cheering from parents and teachers alike.

Henry looked up into the bleachers and pointed at his little brother and nodded. Emmet pointed back with both hands, pouting his lips out in a duck like manner and nodding his little head up and down, exaggerating each move with as much effort as he could.


Just down the road from the baseball field, Storybrooke's new and improved park and play area was buzzing with happy teens and proud parents alike, and the smaller children running around as well – all trying to soak up that last little bit of summer before they were forced to submit to September and the new school year. A fact that Regina only now felt settling in – she had her few weeks of calm after Henry's summer league was finished and before he went back to school.

David waddled along behind his daughter, a beautiful little sandy blonde that looked every bit like her father, aside from Katherine's pointed chin. Alexandra ran after Emmet, pretending she couldn't catch him and making the little boy giggle uncontrollably, as any honorary older sister would. The four and two year olds, despite the difference in age, were nearly inseparable, though the same could be said for their parents. Every so often they would all get together and let the kids play, and give themselves time to be humans instead of just mommies and daddies all the time.

"Can you keep a secret?"

Regina jumped at Emma's voice from behind her. She swung and hit Emma in the shoulder before turning back to the playground and the view of her children before sipping at her lemonade. "You're awful." She grumbled into her glass. "What's your secret?"

"Not mine actually." Emma popped a hip out and pointed over to Henry chatting up Ava by the monkey bars. "Are they…?"

Regina sighed. "It would appear so."

"Oh, shit."

"We'll worry about him later – what is this secret?"

Emma leaned in a bit closer and nodded over to Ashley fluffing out her shirt for the millionth time that day. She lowered her voice for Regina to hear alone. "Guess who's expecting?"

The brunette ignored the chill that ran down her smile and let a smile play on her lips.

"And she didn't show the last couple games because she said she wasn't feeling well, remember?"

Regina nodded. "That's exciting." She said, but gulped trying not to pay attention to the Sheriff's breath hitting her neck.

Emma pulled back, frowning a little. "Are you okay?"

"Of course." She nodded and took Emma's cup. "I'll get you a refill, alright?"

Though she didn't wait for an answer, she simply took the red plastic from her friend and headed over to the picnic table packed with party favors and drinks and snacks for everyone and took her sweet time refilling those glasses, willing the fluttery nausea to subside in her stomach. The same feeling that sprung up after she and Emma put the kids to bed and they stayed up talking in the living room, or when she would look at her as they were swinging Emmet in the air by his hands. It was the feeling to the continued realization that played over and over in her mind;

I know you.

I love you.

You're happy with someone else.

It always made her chest hurt and her head spin a little - or a lot, depending on the day.

"Hi!"

Regina jumped again.

Damn her inner monologue. It never failed to take her eighty leagues under the sea and leave her there to drown.

Her son nearly jumped out of Ruby's arms and into hers.

"Hi, bug." She kissed Emmet's head.

"Wuby… uhm, Wuby," The little boy turned between the two brunettes for a moment.

Ruby grinned and scratched his head. "I asked him to break the ice for me."

"Oh?" Regina furrowed her brows. "What for?"

"Nothing – Em asked me to see if you were okay." She shrugged like it was nothing, making her hair that now only just passed her shoulders sway the smallest bit.

Regina smiled with muscles in her face she was sure had to look more like a grimace. "Oh, did she now?"

"Mommy, I go play now." The little boy pointed to the playground.

She nodded and put him down. "Be careful, please." As soon as he ran off, Emma came up behind him and grabbed him, throwing him over her shoulder and doing a light jog to the playground and her worries were wiped clean.

The younger woman at her side cleared her throat. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, too."

Regina crossed her arms and feigned a look of indifference. "Alright." She nodded.

Ruby twiddled her fingers, looking at them instead of the professional glare Regina unknowingly slipped into. "I was wondering if you would mind… I mean you've planned Em's birthday for a few years now, and," She shrugged. "I don't know. I kinda want to do something special for her the day of, and I looked and it falls on a weekend this year-"

"That's fine, dear." Regina cut her off, feeling her wind pipe want to close a little bit. Of course she would want to plan Emma's birthday. How long had they been together anyway? She made her lips turn up at the ends anyway. "I'll just plan something a different day. It's alright. You two have fun."

"No!" Ruby shook her head and laughed. "I… Obviously I would need your help. I've been trying to cook something up for a while. Can-"

Regina held her hand up and took a deep breath. "I'll help in whatever way you need."

The waitress grinned, and Regina had one of those obsessive, awful thoughts again – she's beautiful, and young, and so vibrant, no wonder. She couldn't help comparing and listing in her mind all of the ways she fell short of Ruby's qualities.

"Awesome! Thank you- can I text you later about it."

"Okay."


A month and a half later, the Mills and their pet Swan went about the set bedtime routine, only at Grandma's house.

Cora hovered in the background as Emma and Regina took turns between bathing Emmet, and checking Henry's progress on his homework. Even the matriarch was reeling in the fact her grandson had already started high school. It wouldn't be too long until Henry was off to college and starting a career of his own.

Just after seven thirty, Emmet's clumsy steps thumped against the hardwood until the toddler in all his naked glory, grabbed his brother's hand and pulled him from his chair.

"Is ssory time Ehwy." He said matter-of-factly.

Henry laughed at him but and raised his eyebrows. "Story time, already?"

Emma grinned and wiped her hands on the towel Emmet was supposed to use. "It is your turn, kid."

Without Regina's bed, the troop opted for the guest room.

The three of them dressed Emmet and put him in bed. Grandma climbed in one side and Henry on the other with his big book of fairy tales and his two favorite comics from Henry's collection.

But as soon as Emma and Regina kissed the boys heads, Emmet frowned and shook his head, taking a comic from Henry and pushing it toward the blonde. "Ahmma wead it."

"No, baby. Grandma can read to you just for tonight." Regina nodded. "It's Emma's birthday, we're going out for dinner."

Emma grinned and leaned over Henry, pressing large, obnoxious kisses into Emmet's fat little cheeks. "I'll read tomorrow night, bug. Promise."

"Mommy and Ahmma wead… da dwag-ins. Ahmma for da … uhm… mommy does the queen?"

Cora blinked quickly and looked at her daughter. "What on earth is he saying?"

Regina folded her arms and grinned at his arms still around Emma's neck. "He wants Emma and I to do the voices in his book."

"Oh." The older woman nodded. She tried to tickle his side to get him off of the sheriff but he had her in his tiny vice grip. "Grandma and Henry can do the voices."

"No." Emmet said with a sigh.

Emma kissed him one more time with a squeeze and stood up straight. "You guys be good, okay?"

Henry shrugged with a sly grin. "Eh?"

"He gets an hour of alone time, then lights out." She said to her mother firmly. "Take his phone from him, too. He'll try to hide it, but if you have any problems, just call."

"Don't worry, dear." Cora smiled. "Go enjoy your night off."

They both thanked Regina's mother before waving and blowing a few more kisses, and finally leaving for the restaurant.


Emma didn't ask any questions about her first birthday in Storybrooke that wasn't celebrated with a party – as soon as Regina asked if she'd rather have dinner alone, Emma jumped at the opportunity. And Regina didn't disappoint. The tailored black dress that just hit her knee that Regina picked to wear was a knew one for sure, because she never wore a sweetheart neckline until that night, and curled her hair way differently from any normal day. Emma opted for her jeans and a nicer shirt, and even took a chance on her bright blue heels that had seen better days, but it was her birthday. She could wear whatever she wanted.

It wasn't a date. Emma knew that and reminded herself, before, during, and on the ride home countless times. It didn't stop her from grinning like a child that she got to have Regina all to herself for a little while.

It had been a good while since the blonde had entertained the idea of actually being with the mayor. The feelings didn't die, and the unconditional support she had for the other woman just kept growing every moment she saw her talk to her kids, or cook dinner, or lie to herself and everyone else when she got a cold –because hell would freeze over if Regina Mills ever took a sick day if it wasn't because one of the boys was sick. Every other day she would fall a little more for every reason.

But as they pulled up to the mansion, Emma glanced over and nodded with the mantra she'd created for herself; at least they want me. The boys wanted her, Regina wanted her, and her friends wanted her. She was wanted, and that's so much more than she could have hoped for most of her life.

"Are you sure you don't want to do anything else for your birthday?" Regina turned in her seat.

Emma just nodded. "Yeah. You know I don't need much. It was nice just to hang out, anyway."

"Would you hate me if I said I got you something, then?"

Emma groaned and let her head fall back, though she smiled widely the whole time.

"It's nothing! Just.." Her shoulders rose and fell as she pulled a small box out of her purse. "You deserve something special."

Her face dropped as she looked at the bright red wrapping paper.

"Henry helped me."

"Regina…"

She shook her head and held it out further. "Open it."

Emma sighed loudly and frowned, but took the box anyway. Her finger slipped under the wrapping paper, only tearing it enough to shimmy the box out, and she couldn't help but hesitate before opening it - holding her breath, she finally lifted the lid off and her jaw dropped.

"Oh my god."

Regina smiled.

"It's just like yours!" Emma grinned.

"Mm-hhm." She nodded.

"How-"

"I talked to Peggy's jewelry store in the strip mall downtown… she said she could recreate mine, and we changed the colors for you."

The bracelet sparkled even in the dome lights in the SUV. Regina took the bracelet and held it out for Emma's wrist, and she could see the differences so carefully chosen for her – where Regina's bracelet was gold with little rubies dotted through the design, Emma's was silver, and tiny yellow stones shined at her brilliantly.

Emma nodded. "This is beautiful."

Regina didn't look her in the eye – instead just staring at the new jewelry. "I'm glad you like it."

"I do."

She looked up tentatively.

"A lot." Emma put her hand over Regina's. "Thank you."

It looked a lot like a grimace instead of a smile, but Regina shook it off with a shiver before whispering a "You're welcome," and opening her door. She cleared her throat. "Do you want to come watch the latest episode of CSI: Miami with me?"

Emma laughed. "Absolutely fucking not."

"No?"

"How can you watch that crap?"

Regina hummed a small laugh. "I happen to like that crap, thank you very much." She slipped her key in the door and unlocked it a bit more roughly that she normally did.

"Calm down – it was just a joke!" She laughed, closing the door behind them.

The lights in the hallway turned on and Emma almost fell right on her ass as the women screamed at her from all angles.

"Happy birthday!"

Everyone laughed at the bright hue of red Emma's face turned.

Ashley held her growing belly as she cackled. Ruby had to keep her balance on Katherine's shoulder. The new girls stood behind them a bit closer to the kitchen. Rory, Katherine's new assistant as of having her daughter, jumped from foot to foot giggling, and a very uncomfortable Ariel stood oddly still with a huge smile, looking very suspiciously like she was trying her hardest not to break anything. The red head had only worked two weeks at the diner and had managed to go through half of Granny's 'fine china' as she called it.

"Fuck guys.." Emma looked at all of them, grabbing at her chest. "What are you doing here?"

Ruby ran up and hugged her friend. "We're going out!"

"What?"

Regina had one of her plastic looking smiles on when Emma looked over at her. "Ruby set it all up to surprise you." She said quietly.

"Yeah! You haven't been out in forever, so we can all go dance and get crazy and you can let loose for a night." Ruby hip bumped her awkwardly before gesturing to Ashley. "Thanks to preggers, we even have a built-in DD so you can get as trashed as you want."

Ashley just rolled her eyes.

"Okay, wait… no. If it's my birthday, I'm making rule number one that no one gets trashed, please. Especially not me."

Katherine raised her hand. "Excuse me, this is the first night away from my baby, you bet your ass I'm drinking."

Before she knew it, they were all piled in the car and buckled in, heading to god only knew where.


About twenty five minutes North, they all stopped at a night club Regina had never heard of that had a list of all things to get in the door. Apparently Ruby made a special connection or reservation, and thank god, because the beginning of October was no time for half naked women to be standing out in the cold waiting to get into a night club, though according to the line outside, the weather was nothing to stop twenty-somethings from going out on a weekend.

Without realizing, she'd been stuck playing mommy. Regina checked everyone's coat and bag, keeping their wallets in her purse and watching from a table in the corner as they danced. Even Ashley wiggled with the rest of them. But that's not where her attention was at all.

Emma's shirt came off two songs in, and she was moving more smoothly than liquid on the dance floor in her tank top and jeans.

She'd been pulled out with them a few times for a song or so, but as soon as her eyes hit the blonde again her heart started beating in her throat and along with all sorts of guilty feelings.

It wasn't until she was back at the table, watching Emma roll her body slowly against the back of Ruby's, the lights hitting them as the younger woman had her arms in the air and a huge grin on her face that she really started feeling sorry for herself. Which she had no right to do. It was Emma's birthday, and she was having fun with her friends and her… girlfriend? There was no doubt in her mind that's what Ruby was, though they'd never said so out loud.

Ruby turned around and their fingers laced together, hoisting their hands in the air again and moving to the rhythm again. Emma pulled a particularly dorky move, starting to swing dance them around to the noisy electronic music to which they both laughed, then going about dancing – together or with everyone else.

It was Emma's birthday.

She refused to make this day about herself and her ridiculous emotions.

Emma's day.

"Excuse me." She flagged down one of the many girls walking around in next to nothing with long tube shot glasses on a tray.

Regina downed three in a row, and kept going until her vision was too blurry to see the dance floor from where she was sitting.


"I'm fine!" Regina laughed at herself.

Sober Regina would have done no such thing. Then again.. sober Regina probably wouldn't have fallen out of the car in the first place, or climbed over two other people to do so.

"She doesn't look fine." Ariel squeaked from the back.

Emma scrambled out of the car and helped Regina up. "Sure, nobody help – let's all just stare." She glared back at everyone.

Regina swayed as Emma hoisted her off the ground, grabbing on to a shoulder. "SSSsop it. I'm gunna bed." But her legs bent awkwardly as she tried to take a few steps toward her door on her own.

The sheriff caught her quickly before she could step into one of the hedges lining the fence and draped one of Regina's arms around her shoulders. "I'm not leaving her, guys. She won't make it up the stairs."

"Hey!"

"You're kinda drunk too, though, Em-"

Regina frowned and looked at the blonde. "Yeah, EEmmmmmm." She could taste the bile in the back of her throat at the nickname.

Emma shrugged. "But I can walk. It's okay – I'll call you tomorrow."

"Nono!" Regina shook her head. "Itss your birthday, Emma. Gu-home. Relax."

"Quit- I'll take the guest room, Regina. I'll just make sure you're okay before I get there." She shrugged. "If you feel too bad about it, you can make me an omelet in the morning."

All she could think was how she would make Emma breakfast every morning if she wanted.

But again – sober Regina wouldn't have even let herself have those kinds of thoughts all the way through. She would throw the boys in there and make it Christmas morning for an excuse before the vivid loneliness could bite at her chest again.

Vague, echoing goodbyes happened around her and she managed to give something like a wave in return. Her eyes were so heavy, she didn't notice if they were in the house until Emma had to coach her into climbing her own stairs. Bust it would just be another story, though – another piece of history they would have strung between them to tell Henry about when he was older. How his mother kept his other mother away from her girlfriend on her birthday.

Well, that was confusing.

"Hey, where are your pjs?"

Regina grunted as Emma dumped her on the bed. "I'll get 'em."

Emma just laughed as Regina finally kicked off her heels and shuffled over to her dresser. "I'm just putting pans on that's it."

"Pans?"

"PANTS." Regina groaned. "Sleep… trousers. Idiot."

"Yeah, I'm the idiot and you just called sweat pants, 'sleep trousers.' Okay."

There was no ceremony in Regina thrusting her feet through the legs as quickly as she could – the motion almost reflex, same as throwing her dress on the end table to fold later and grabbing the shirt she didn't think she needed when she started.

The rest was routine playing in her mind that she followed – brushing her teeth, wiping her makeup off with a wet wipe and getting lotion for her face and her knuckles. The only difference was how her hands didn't quite follow orders as they usually would. And by the time she made it back to her bed, she felt the tiniest bit better – her vision not quite as blurry.

Emma pointed to the dresser. "Could I borrow a pair?"

She just nodded before Emma took a cotton pair of sweats instead of the ones made out of nicer material and headed into the bathroom quietly.

Regina just kept rubbing the lotion into her hands, hating herself for drinking so much, and in turn for dragging Emma with her unnecessarily. She could have been back at her apartment with Ruby. Probably snuggled up and watching some stupid old romantic comedy they seemed so fond of. She shut her eyes to the thought, willing it away, but it was only replaced by an even less welcome one. She could see Ruby's hands laying on Emma's bare stomach, kissing her neck as a smile played on Emma's lips, holding to the waitresses shoulders.

Her stomach tightened and throat started to close because she knew what would happen next.

Ruby's features would slowly ebb away, being replaced by her own. She'd tug Emma's shirt over her head quickly and skip down to place her lips in the little space in Emma's clavicle that would make her sigh and tilt her head back more.

"Most people lay down to sleep."

Regina opened her eyes wide and shook the images away.

Emma pulled Regina to stand next to her as she un-made the bed enough for the older woman to slip inside.

But Regina just sat down again, folding her arms across her chest. "You know, most people don't… also take care of others on their birthday."

"I think I like plastered Regina – she makes me sound smart."

Emma dodged a smack to the shoulder easily and laughed.

"Quit making fun of me." Regina pointed.

"Quit being so easy to make fun of!"

Regina frowned and waited for Emma to stop laughing. "Really… I'm sorry for keeping you away tonight. I'm sure you would have liked to spend time with Ruby." She gulped. "But thank you for making sure I was alright."

"Ruby?" Emma shrugged. "She's probably sick of me for the night anyway."

"No.. she planned tonight pretty meticll-is-ly." She shook her head, trying to speak slower. "Met-tic-u-lous-ly… meticulously." She nodded. "Gracious, this is… painful. I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be." Emma's smile softened and she sat next to Regina heavily before she shrugged. "It's kinda cute."

Her heart sank in her shoes. Regina looked at Emma with a frown. "Don't say that." She whispered.

All of the sudden, how alone they were in the house settled over them. The silence from down the hall and in that very room permeated the air and it was far quieter. "What?"

Regina shook her head in dismissal of the question altogether.

"You don't think so?"

"Stop it." She rolled her eyes.

"Regina, look at me."

She did. As though she didn't have any control, Regina turned with her eyebrows furrowed so completely at the other woman for making her feel all of the things she did.

And all Emma did was stare back like she couldn't believe what was right in front of her – like she couldn't be more confused if Regina grew three more heads that very moment.

"What are you staring at?" She asked impatiently.

Emma smiled sadly and shook her head. "You. Because it's crazy to me that you're this beautiful and it's like you can't see it."

The water that rose in her eyes wouldn't have been there if she could have helped it, but she didn't know how to take what Emma said and guard herself from the feelings it shook out within her. The same ones she kept stamping down by reminding herself the kids were upstairs or that Emma had to go to work in an hour, or that she couldn't want her, after all these years and seeing her in all the ways she had.

As soon as the tears registered for Emma, she grabbed Regina's hand. "Regina-"

And Regina pulled it away and put both of her hands on Emma's face and kissed her.

The move was too quick for her to react, and Regina knew that. She knew she shouldn't, and she knew she would hate herself for it later, but she needed to do it. If it didn't happen while she was half drunk and stupid with emotions, it never would.

But then Emma kissed her back. At first she thought her eyes were closed too tight and she was still dizzy with alcohol or nerves, but no – it was Emma's hands on her waist, pulling her closer. It was Emma's lips connecting in more slow, shaky lip locks before she pushed Regina back on the bed.

A whole different set of sensations set in, then.

Her lips found more purchase on Emma's and her lungs were on fire already. Her whole body caught that white hot, electrical buzz that popped and snapped at every single synapse that was being provoked and fired away.

She tried to pull away just before their heads hit the pillows but Emma shook her head without leaving the kiss – their series of kisses that melded into each other as they went. Regina rolled on top inadvertently, trying to press herself as close to her as she could. Emma only hummed in approval and licked Regina's lip, sliding her hands under her shirt and tracing her spine with her fingertips. Regina gasped and then Emma's tongue was in her mouth.

Regina's knees came up to steady herself, one on either side of Emma's waist as she held to the younger woman's biceps. Their kisses slowed again and Regina took her time nibbling and biting as she tugged Emma's bottom lip away.

It wasn't a moment later Emma flipped them again, holding tight to Regina's thighs and crushing her mouth on the other woman's. And Regina's hands were reaching for all of the mundane places she never dared to put them before, in the blonde hair that shined and never looked entirely brushed at the same time, and kneading her strong shoulders, down the curves of her back, and Emma is laying herself right on top of her.

Emma's lips left hers for just a moment and kissed at her pulse point and Regina promised herself she wouldn't let herself start grinding her hips toward Emma's no matter how much she wants to. But a breathy moan tears itself from her throat – all the pressure is there. It was building and Emma's pressed against her now and it's just like a fantasy, only better. Emma's tongue dragged across her throat and she pulls her back up to her lips by her hair just to keep from coming undone. Her arms hug Emma so fiercely because it's not entirely the carnal nature in her that wants this, it's hoping and wishing that Emma knew how much she cared about her at the same time. It was four years built into one mistake that she won't ever regret.

Regina's legs straightened out a bit more and Emma's arms circle around her middle before they settle on their sides.

Their lips learned to play against the others gently, navigating their noses to tap and bump sweetly between soft pecks and longer locks. Regina's thumbs swept over Emma's cheek bones and her jaw and her shoulders, and cherished the spot Emma claimed on her lower back as her nails traced soft circles there.

It went on for what felt like hours or weeks before Regina couldn't respond anymore, her phantom kisses just whispers on Emma's lips before her breathing evened out. Emma just kissed her forehead before letting her eyes fall shut too, still wrapped in each others arms and grabbing at the last of an admission neither actually made.