Konosuba: The Arc's blessing on this wonderful world

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this crap, that is all

Reviews

commandosquirrel: Sure… Let's go with that

Kevin Bakeland: Right now

BBwulf: Yeah… I'm pretty forgetful when it comes to those but hakuna matata

Guest: Shit will just spiral downwards from there, yeah… Papa Jaune had a good premise but holy shit was that the most broken English I've read! Either way I still love that fanfic, Makoto needs to be protected! And I'll try to make it as interesting as possible

P.S. Jaune did nothing wrong

Another P.S. Thank you doomqwer for pointing out my slip up!

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(Stables – Morning)

"Aqua, wake up…. We were supposed to be on that extermination quest ten minutes ago" Jaune could only stare at the currently sleeping Aqua with a blank face

"What was the point of being praised… All that recognition was worth nothing and with the little amount of money we get from the construction job... I miss Nora and her hyperactive tendencies, Pyrrha's training was also going well… And Ren the only person I truly respected…

Remnant

Team RWBY, the NP of (J)NPR, the Arc family and every other person in Remnant who knew Jaune couldn't help but sneeze at the same time and they had to wonder

Who's talking shit about me?

Back to Jaune and the Idiot Goddess Aqua

There's no point in dwelling on the past, even if it's currently burning up in flames because apparently it's a pain in the ass for the councils of each kingdom to actually invest in some Goddamn military, and what's the point of the White Fang anyways?! They claim they're being oppressed but the worst I've seen is a literal sign saying no Faunus allowed! So you guys were given a little island as your reward for the war? That little goddamn island is a paradise compared to the four big shit holes that make up Remnant! So suck it up and deal with it ya bunch of whiny bastards!

And with that internal rant freed from the confines of his mind, Jaune Arc could only say one thing

"I hate my existence" Good answer Jaune, good answer indeed

Jaune, decided to grab a stick that was inside the hay him and Aqua were sleeping in. Luckily, they were able to afford a giant blanket, so they would sleep in a more comfortable makeshift bed. Before he could start poking the goddess in her exposed stomach she yawned cutely which surprised Jaune, he was too focused on Aqua's stupidity to even notice her beauty and surprisingly cute moments…. Wait, is this how Ren feels everyday when he's with Nora…?

"Good morning" Aqua drawled out as she stretched her limbs for a bit before getting in a relaxed sitting position

"Aqua, it's noon, and you said that we were going on a kill quest yesterday" Jaune deadpanned as he gave a blank stare to the water "goddess"

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, it's just that… I kinda forgot we weren't going to that construction job today" she scratched the back of her head nervously

How could he forget the slowest three months of his life?

"Hurry up and get dressed then, it says that the quest will only last for three days, so our time is very limited" Jaune looked at the job request they picked up with a logical stare, closely inspecting the details of the job and the amount of Eris earned from its completion.

"Don't worry Jaune! Today I'll show you just how powerful, beautiful and magnificent I am, not as a lowly adventurer! But as the water goddess Aqua!" her flashy dialogue was met with a blank stare from Jaune, before he could respond however…

"SHUT THE HELL UP! CAN'T YOU SEE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP?!" it seems like the water goddess and blonde knight have forgotten what location they're currently living in

"S-sorry!" they both yelled apologetically as they waved their arms weakly from the source of the angry voice

Location – Plains

Mission – Kill 5 frogs in under 3 days

Frogs killed – 0/5

MISSION START

When I read up on this world's history, culture, environments etc. I did find information about the giant frogs that lived in the plains on the outskirt of the town of beginners, but the book I was using at the time had many torn pages so a lot of the information I could've gathered were lost to time, from what I managed to gather the frogs are mostly carnivorous, this of course was bad for farmers since these frogs would randomly appear during mating season to devour the animals and sometimes even claiming the lives of said farmers in the process.

Apparently, they are actually quite delicious despite their slimy exterior and the fact they're frogs…

Too bad everything else remained a mystery because of the damn book being so old! And he could only assume the rest, like what's the actual size of the frog or what's its weakness etc.

"AQUA! For the love that is everything holy please help me!" Jaune was currently running for his life, even if his legs burned he didn't slow down, when the quest mentioned giant frogs he expected them to be big as a horse and gleefully accepted the quest, after all who would pass up such an easy target for XP farming, but that all went south when he saw the GIGANTIC slimy beast that was the frog! No wonder they were such a threat! The damn things where the size of a house! And they're highly resistant to physical damage! Luckily Jaune managed to buy a staff for Aqua so he wouldn't have to worry about any injuries… For now

I swear one of these days I'll choke her…! Huh… That's new

"If you really want my Divine intervention then why don't you start by calling me the Magnificent Goddess of Water Aqua!"

"Please Magnificent Goddess of Water Aqua save me!" his stamina was running by pure adrenaline at this point, so it didn't matter to Jaune how pitiful he sounded, he just wanted to live damn it! Is it so hard to ask to have it easy for one freaking day?!

"Now that's more like it! From tomorrow onwards you shall join the Axis sect and pray to me three times a day! When it's time for us to eat you shall gladly give me all your food when I demand it and then I-" what the idiot goddess failed to notice in her little rant was that the frog that was chasing Jaune across the plains had stopped chasing him and set his sights on her, and with Aqua blissfully unaware about the incoming danger that was the house sized frog… It simply hopped to her and ate her!

Jaune could only gape as he saw Aqua's legs being slowly devoured by said Giant frog…

"What the hell!" The Arc lunged at the frog while it was busy devouring the idiot goddess and after multiple stabs with Crocea Mors to its slimy forehead the giant frog finally died! And its body landed on its back with Aqua getting spit out in the process

….

….

….

"Oi… Can you still walk?" huh, who knew my voice could be that deep… Wait why was it deep in the first place?!

"J-jaune…" Aqua sobbed his name as she was currently covered in the Giant frog's slime

"Thank you! Thank you for not abandoning me to that monstrosity!" Aqua hugged Jaune's waist as she proceeded to bawl into his sweater, which grossed the living crap out of him, so he did the most rational thing that came to mind

"H-hey, since the frogs are too tough for us to take on let's just head back and deal with them tomorrow" Thank Oum the others can't see this… If they did it'd be a nightmare! (cue in that reaction fic… Anyone?)

"No! If the followers of Axis see me in such a horrible state, then they'll surely lose their devotion to me! I will not allow that to happen! I will not let my beautiful name be sullied by such vile creatures!" Aqua exclaimed as a fire deep within her lit up…

After all the things we did to earn money? It's a little too late for that Aqua

Jaune's thoughts were interrupted however as Aqua let out a war cry as she recklessly charged at a pink colored frog

"Wha-?! Aqua what are you doing?!"

"Feel the power of the gods! Regret that you ever stood in my path and bared your fangs at the gods and repent in the pits of hell! God blow!" Aqua extended her right arm and charged forward with said arm being covered in a fiery aura

Holy crap!

"God blow is a lethal fist that carries a goddess's rage and sorrow! Any it strikes will perish! Now Die! You slimy bastard!" Aqua used God Blow! It was not very effective! Giant frog uses eat! It is very effective!

"This is worse than initiation!" Jaune once again rushed to Aqua's rescue

Location – Plains

Mission – Kill 5 frogs in under 3 days

Frogs killed – 2/5

Eris earned = 10,000

3 Days remaining

~Next Day~

Jaune and Aqua have wasted their whole morning sitting and doing nothing in the adventurers' guild, why are they doing this exactly? Well, Aqua had the brilliant idea (yet stupid because… Aqua) to recruit more party members… And this is their result!

"Aqua… We missed breakfast" Jaune had his deep voice again

"I know…" she looked down dejectedly

"you just had to put advanced classes only"

I know…"

"And with all the fake claims? At least make them believable" Jaune stared at Aqua as she just slumped in her chair

"I know I messed up alright! Now can you please stop staring at me like that?!" Jaune sighed as he took a glass filled with water and took a giant gulp

"At this rate the quest will expire… Not to mention the humiliation from the other adventurers… Too bad no one is stupid enough to just walk up to us and join u-"

"Greetings fellow adventurers, I happened to notice your recruitment poster" T-this can't be serious… Right? There's no way someone's dumb enough to be interested in that half assed poster!

Jaune turned around to see a young girl with shoulder-length dark brown hair and crimson colored eyes. She wore classical witch attire such as a black cloak with a gold border, a choker, a wizard's hat that has two large buttons with X's on each and a triangular pattern at the base of her hat, fingerless gloves, and is currently carrying a brown staff with her.

"That we would meet here is a fate chosen by the world itself" she put her left hand and covered her face, only leaving her left eye and patched right eye in view

"I have anxiously awaited the arrival of those such as yourselves" with that said she suddenly extended her free arm causing her cape to billow, she grabbed the tip of her hat and struck a pose

"My name is Megumin! My calling is that of an Archwizard, one who commands explosion magic, the strongest of all offensive magic!" There is!

"Do you, too, desire my forbidden strength, which is so almighty, I've been ostracized by the entire world?"

"Um…" Jaune couldn't get any words out as the girl decided to cut in

"Then show me thine resolve to peer into the ultimate abyss with me! When man stares into the abyss, the abyss stares back" The Arc took these few minutes of silence to contemplate his life choices before speaking up

"Are you just here to make fun of us?" he asked with a blank expression

"N-No!" she exclaimed as she lost her chuunibyou attitude

"Hm? That red eye…. Are you a crimson demon?" Aqua asked, and with that the chuunibyou Megumin continued her speech

"Indeed! I am Megumin, user of the finest magic crimson demons possess, my lethal magic easily destroys mountains, smashes boulders…. And… And" she inexplicably collapsed

"H-Hey are you alright?!" Jaune quickly went to her aid as Megumin was on all fours

"I-I haven't eaten in three days, so I barely have any strength left"

"If that's the case then I don't mind treating you to some lunch… But what's with the eyepatch? Aqua here can fix you right up since her only usefulness is healing"

"Hey!" Aqua was deeply offended by that comment but Jaune didn't pay her any mind as he focused on Megumin who stood back up and regained her chuunibyou state

"If I were to take this off, a great catastrophe would surely befall this world…"

"It's just a cosmetic, isn't it?"

"…"

"You haven't answered my question Ms. Archwizard" Jaune was really starting to get the hang of his deep voice, he'd have to practice it on Aqua later…

"…yes"

"What's that? You were too silent, so I didn't hear your answer"

"… I wear the eyepatch because it looks cool on me"

Jaune helped Megumin up and led her to the table they were sitting in, the archwizard gave Jaune her adventurer card before putting her head down on the table

"You see? That wasn't so hard" Jaune patted Megumin's head causing the girl to groan in embarrassment

"Hey Aqua, are all crimson demons like this?" Jaune whispered to Aqua as she was blankly staring at the girl

"Unfortunately, they are. Crimson demons are born with high intelligence and possess magical powers so in general they're all expert magicians and have weird names… That's probably why they act the way they do" Aqua explained

"Oh, I thought she was just messing with us because of her gibberish talk… And are you sure that all of their names are weird?" Megumin suddenly stood up and gave a cute pout at Jaune and Aqua

"Calling my name weird is rude! From my point of view, it's everyone else in town who has weird a weird name"

"Then what are your parents' names" Megumin once again struck a pose and smirked at the duo

"My mother is Yuiyui and my father is Hyoizaburo"

"Should we really recruit her?"

"H-Hey! If you have something against my parents' names, then say it already!"

~Konosuba~

"She really is an Archwizard! The Archwizard is an advanced job that commands powerful offensive magic, we should definitely recruit her!" Jaune and Aqua were viewing Megumin's adventurer card with great detail… Actually, that was Jaune, Aqua was just giving him facts to convince him to recruit the Crimson demon

"Yeah, her magic stats are definitely high for someone her age…"

"Hey! I'm not little… I'm… Ugh" Megumin's stomach growled notifying everyone of her hunger

"We do need someone who has high attack power…" a few minutes of self-debating and Jaune reached his conclusion

"Don't be shy, order whatever you need" Jaune gave a warm smile as she handed a menu to Megumin

Mission – Kill 5 frogs in under 3 days

Frogs killed – 2/5

2 Days remaining

"Explosion magic is the strongest magic there is, so naturally it will take some time to prepare" Megumin pointed at a Giant frog in front of her

"Please keep that frog at bay until my preparations are complete" Jaune took out Crocea Mors and got into a fighting stance

"I'll do it" Before the Arc could move, however…

"Jaune look! There's another one" true to her words another giant frog was approaching them

"Crap… Hey Megumin, we'll focus on the frog coming to us, just focus on the frog in front of you" with a stance of her own Megumin nodded in acknowledgement

"understood"

"It's time for you to demonstrate your skills… As an Archpriest" Jaune's hesitation was not missed by Aqua

"Hey! Why did you hesitate?! I am a goddess through and through!"

"Goddess?"

"She just calls herself that, she has a very low self esteem you see, it's quite sad"

"Indeed, it is quite sad" Megumin said in a tone of pity

"Wh-What?! That's not true! I'll just prove that I really am a goddess!" with that said she charged at the incoming frog

"Watch this Jaune! I'll show you the true powers of a goddess this time!" Aqua thrusted her staff which caused the pink flower on the top of it to open up, its petals started spinning rapidly, eventually causing a visible manifestation of magic to wildly spin around it.

"Tremble before me and fall asleep! God Requiem! God Requiem is a goddess's requiem of love and sorrow! Any it strikes will perish!" She never hit the frog…

"Honestly, why am I not surprised anymore?" Jaune deadpanned as she saw Aqua slowly disappearing into the frog's mouth, but before he could help her out…

"Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark,

I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.

The time of awakening cometh.

Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary,

appear now as an intangible distortion!

I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force:

a destructive force without equal!

Return all creation to cinders,

and come from the abyss!

This is the mightiest means of attack known to man

The ultimate attack magic!

Explosion!"

Megumin pointed her staff at the frog which caused several magic circles to appear above it

BOOM

The explosion that ensued caused the earth to shake from the sheer power of it.

All that was left was a smoking crater where the frog used to be

"Holy crap…" Jaune in his awe almost didn't notice another frog emerge from the ground

"Hey Megumin, there's a-" Megumin was face down on the ground seemingly unmoving

"H-hey! Are you okay?!" Jaune exclaimed

"While my explosion magic is indeed very powerful, it also consumes all of my magical power, to simply put it… I'm done for today" Megumin said in a flat tone seemingly unconcerned about the frog that's approaching her

"You should have told us that before we came here!" Jaune exclaimed

The toad finally reached Megumin, the giant amphibian towering over its food

"I never expected a frog to pop up so close by, this is bad, I'm going to be eaten… Hey can you perhaps rescue m-" the frog scooped up Megumin with its mouth and just like Aqua Jaune could see Megumin's legs slowly disappear into the frog's mouth

"Damn it all!" he really hated himself for all of his life decisions

Mission – Kill 5 frogs in under 3 days

Frogs killed – 5/5

QUEST COMPLETE

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AN: Here's where I'll end the chapter for today, even with school being out it still took me some time to write it down… Poor Jaune, he's slowly turning into a blonde Kazuma… Also, am I the only one who keeps hearing Ruby shouting explosion over and over again?