I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.

Tori groggily opens her eyes and turns to look at her bedside clock. The bright red numbers read 3:47 am. She groans, wondering who could possibly be knocking so aggressively on her front door. She reluctantly throws aside her covers and gets out of bed. She blindly searches for her robe, stubbing her toe against the edge of the bed in the process. "Shit" she curses out loud and and down to rub her feet. After about a minute, she locates her robe and puts it on.

She slowly makes her way past the living room towards the front door. She looks through the peephole and furrows her forehead when she sees Beck on the other side. Tori turns the locks and opens the door, her expression quickly changing when she sees a whiskey bottle in his hand.

"Tori" he exclaims loudly while pushing past her. Tori looks around the hallway to make sure none of her neighbors were disturbed. Once she is sure the coast is clear, she closes the door and trails behind her drunken friend.

She finds him already seated on her sofa, taking a swig from the bottle. Hurriedly, she makes her way through the room and snatches the liquor away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asks.

"I am so glad you're home" he responds, ignoring her question.

"it's almost four in the morning Beck, where else would I be?" she asks.

Beck shrugs his shoulders and reaches over to grab the bottle but Tori pulls her hands away.

"Beck, what are you doing to yourself?"

He shrugs once more. "I was sure you would be with Ryan...Wait, is he here?" he asks looking around the room to see if he sees anyone else.

"I told you Ryan and I broke up" Tori replies. She shakes her head and makes her way towards the kitchen just a few feet away. There, she pours the rest of the alcohol in the sink and throws the bottle in the trash. It doesn't take long for her to walk back to where he is.

"You look so pretty tonight Tor" he slurs. A goofy smile spreads across his face and he begins to pat the spot next to him on the couch. Tori can't help but laugh and walks over to sit with him.

"Thank you" she says. Tori lifts her hands and brings them up to his unruly hair. She pushes it back, away from his face. As the last strands of hair are pushed back, he takes her hand and brings it down to his lips, placing a kiss on the palm of it.

"We're all really worried about you Beck" she tells him. She knows he is trying to gear the conversation elsewhere but, drunk or not, he's going to have to listen to her. "You can't keep drinking this much."

"It's not as bad as you think" he responds.

"Beck, you show up at my apartment at this time, drunk, and you don't think it's bad?" she replies sarcastically.

"Tori, stop worrying so much about me."

"I can't do that, you're my friend and I care about you."

"You don't love me though, right?" he says as he rises from the couch.

Tori's eyes widen in confusion. "What?" she asks him.

Beck slowly starts to pace back and forth, focusing on his feet so as not to trip.

"You know how I feel about you Tori" Beck says. He turns to face her. She notices the drunken glaze in his eyes and a sadness fills her.

"Beck, I'm sure you've had a long day, how about I get you a blanket and you get some rest" Tori suggests.

"I've had a long year Tor" he replies as he retakes his seat next to her.

Tori nods and scoots closer to him. She rests her head on his shoulders and instantly, the bitter smell of alcohol and cigarettes fill her nostrils. She sighs, a disappointment in him rising.

Beck somehow managed to achieve his dreams at an early age, landing many notable movie roles and working with the best in the business. She stood by her friend as girls threw themselves at him and he continuously made wrong decisions with them.

"Do you know how I feel about you?" he asks her.

Tori thinks for a moment about how she is going to answer his question. She could say yes, because truthfully she has always felt his love for her. On the other hand, she can deny it and in the morning he would have forgotten and she could pretend he never mentioned anything.

"I don't know what you're talking about Beck" she says. It might not be so bad hearing him say it, especially if he will forget about it.

Beck shifts around a bit forcing her to sit up straight. He nervously looks around the living room before turning to look at her. He opens his mouth to talk but yawns instead, causing Tori to laugh. "Sorry" he says.

"Don't worry about it" she says. Tori brings her feet up on the couch and turns her body to face him. Beck reaches over and places his hand on her left knee.

"You are the only person I can count on," he starts, his voice slow and slightly incoherent. "You are not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong or screwing up..."

"I'm your friend Beck, it is my job to do those things" she interrupts.

"It's more than that. I can't explain it but I feel whole with you. I think that's why I'm here tonight. Tori, I'm in love with you. I can't remember a time when I wasn't."

"Beck," Tori starts, suddenly regretting letting him start. All the things he is saying are things she has wanted him to say for a long time. However, hearing him say it during another drunken stupor makes it meaningless and right now all she wants to do is feel like it means something. She peans forward, unwrapping her legs from under her and pushes him back further on the couch, crashing her lips onto his. The kids quickly picks up steam, their hands exploring each others bodies.

As he thrusts his tongue in her mouth and lets his hand rest on her hips, pushing her down against his growing erection, she moans and deepens the kiss. She brings her hands up to his hair and gently pulls on it.

"I love you so much Tori" he says as he breaks away for a moment.

Tori's mind begins to whirl and she knows how stupid it is for them to be doing this, but she can't stop herself. She has been craving this for as long as she has known him. She has watched him go through countless girlfriends or she has been in a relationship herself. Finally the timing is perfect. Even if he doesn't remember this in the morning, she will and one night might be enough.

"I love you" she replies as she brings her lips to meet his once more.