It almost feels like a joke to play out the part,
when you are not the starring role
in someone else's heart.
Tori slams her locker door shut and glares as the "Make it Shine" lights flicker from the harsh impact. She sighs and bends down to pick up her backpack. Once again, her day has been ruined by the sight of Beck and Jade making out by his locker. It isn't even ten in the morning and the two are pressing up against the cold metal practically hooking up. Tori looks around the hallway and quietly wonders why there were never any teachers around to separate them and stop their inappropriate behavior.
"Hey Tori" comes a cheerful voice just a few feet away. Tori turns around and sees André walking towards her. Instantly, her mood brightens a bit and she waves a greeting at her friend.
Within seconds he is standing by her side, filling her in on his wild family BBQ weekend. "My grandma completely freaked out when the smoke rose from the grill. She started telling everyone to stop, drop and roll."
"Don't tell me she did?" Tori asks, laughing at his story. She is accustomed to hearing takes of his grandmother's antics and is even surprised they managed to get her out of the house in the first place.
"Oh, she did. She even yelled at one of my uncles to spray her with the hose" André answers.
"He didn't, did he?" she asks, her eyes widening with intrigue.
"No. He had to talk her out of it and just took her inside. I think it was for the best" he replies, laughing at the memory of his grandmother rolling around on the grass.
"I wish I could have seen that" she says as they both start walking to the direction of Sikowitz class.
"Man," André says as he stops dead in his tracks, "those two are the ones who need to be hosed down" he says pointing towards Beck and Jade who are still going at it.
Tori grunts and rolls her eyes in disgust. André laughs at his friends reaction. "Come on Tor, let's give these lovebirds their privacy" he says and leads her to their class.
A few minutes after the late bell rings, Jade and Beck stroll into class, both looking equally goofy and disheveled. Their cheesy grins is enough to make Tori's stomach turn. To her misfortune, Beck takes the seat next to her while Jade a few rows in front of them next to Cat.
"Hey" Beck whispers to Tori as he sits. She nods in response though in the inside she is dying to berate him about what an insensitive jerk he is.
"Did I miss anything important?" he says in his efforts to strike up a conversation with her.
"Nope" is all she answers. Tori folds her arms across her chest and shifts a bit in her seat, making some distance between them.
"Did you hear about the end of the term play?" he asks her, referring to Sikowitz latest theatrical "masterpiece"; a modern musical take on Titanic.
"Yes" she says firmly, not bothering to look at him.
"Sinking ships and music, they go hand in hand right?" he adds with a chuckle.
"I'm trying to listen" she replies coldly.
"Are you mad at me Tori?" he asks, his genuine concern clear in his tone.
Tori turns abruptly to face him. The incredulity on her face instantly lets him know that she is upset.
"Why are you angry?" he asks. From the corner of his eye he catches Jade looking at them and he turns to look at her. He offers her a smile, which seems to reassure her that she shouldn't be worried that he is talking to Tori. Jade returns his smile and starts turning around but before she does, she makes eye contact with Tori and glares at her, the threatening look speaking volumes.
Once Jade has turned back around, Tori looks at Beck and shakes her head. She grabs her bag from the back of her chair and leaves the room. As she walks through the empty hallway, tears start rolling down her cheeks. She doesn't understand why she keeps getting upset when she sees them together. From the beginning, she has been made aware of their relationship and has known that no matter how dysfunctional it might be, Beck will never leave Jade.
For some reason, even though she has known this all along, she thought it was alright to hook up with Beck behind Jade's back. Their attraction for each other proved to be too much, so one night, as they worked on a script together, they ended up on his bed, their clothes sprawled across the floor and their hands exploring every possible spot of their naked forms.
After they were finished, they both promised never to engage in intimacy again. He told her how awful he felt and how much he loves Jade. She told him she understood and that it was a simple, one-time mistake. But as they both laid there, making promises to never mention it again, they knew it would only be a matter of time before they were having the same conversation. Surely, a week later, they found themselves in the same situation. Only this time, there were no promises or mention of his girlfriend. They knew it wasn't a mistake, that they were only fulfilling needs that have been repressed for far too long. As they indulged in each other, the unspoken agreement continued. No one could find out about their secret affair.
It was great in the beginning. They both got what they wanted out of the arrangement. He got to keep Jade and realize his fantasies with Tori and she got to be intimate with him without the commitment, which she didn't want. However, as the weeks passed, a sense of envy formed in the pit of her stomach when she saw him holding Jade's hand or kissing her in public. At first, she attributed this to her desire to have him right then and there. Very soon she became aware of her growing feelings for him and knew it was time to break things off with him before it got more complicated.
Every night she would go to his RV with the intention of ending their affair but would get pulled back in by the smell of his shampoo or the way his body glistened when he opened the door, fresh out of the shower. It didn't take long for her to know she was in trouble and yet, there was nothing she could do about it. She wanted him, had grown dependent on him...on someone that was never and will never be hers.
She pushes open the doors leading to the asphalt café and walks over to her group's regular lunch table. She sits and inhales deeply, letting the cool air calm her down and dry her still falling tears.
She knows it's only a matter of time before she completely falls in love with him and really gets her heart broken. She knows that it's in her best interest to break any romantic ties with him and try to reestablish their friendship. How, though, is she supposed to let go of the best thing she's had in a long time?
"Tonight," she says to herself, "tonight is the night." She has to walk away. She has no choice.
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role.
Author's Note: I want to thank everyone that has taken the time to review this story and leave suggestions of songs. I have discovered a lot of great songs I hadn't heard before that really do inspire me to keep writing. Thanks to PrincessRinKagamine for requesting this song. It's one of those I hadn't heard and I just had to write a story about it. I do hope you like this chapter. There might be some errors (it's nearly 2am here) but I hope it still makes sense to you guys. Let me know what you think and even feel free to request a song. I have four more to write and I choose at random! Til next time.
