"So who is that guy really?" Sam asked the second I started to drive.
"What do you mean?" I played dumb.
"You honestly expect me to believe you that you just called some dude that you met on a random hunt? Plus, I didn't notice anyone. So, who was he really?"
"He was my husband, not to sure where we stand now. After I started disappearing we had a fight. I haven't seen him in over two decades. I know it is my fault that things went so bad. I could have told him why, I should have but I had no idea how he would react. I mean I know how I did once the planning had ended and what happened to actually sink in."
It had been two days since Sam had started living with the Winchesters. I should have gone back to the cabin like I told Sleipnir I would. Instead I was sitting in my office/meeting area with a doll clenched to my chest as I cried. It was really old but with magic it was well kept. I don't know how long I just sat there but after a while Azazel came in.
"What happened Sister?" he asked
"Nothing I am fine. So, are things going to plan?" I asked trying to change the topic.
"Well, though they could be doing better if you would help out. But please tell me what is wrong."
"Like I have said I am working my own angle, and honestly I know that likely whatever you are doing will cost innocents their lives. Despite that fact that I am willing to do whatever it takes to take Michael down I would rather stay out of the blood shed for as long as possible. Plus when others start to pick up what we are aiming for it would be best for me to be able to possibly hear something before they try anything. I know you can pull whatever you are planning but if you do ever get yourself into a bind you cannot get out of I am but a single prayer away. You are one of the few that know what this is really about and the only one to not give up faith. I thank you for that and well I do still slightly hate it when you call me sister it has less to do with you and more to do with who else would be considered family. Ramiel I can respect. He wanted his own life away from this. The same cannot be said about Dagon and Asmodeus. Ambition is a good thing when you have thought what you have giving it true thought, but both jumped into thing to quickly. Sure, I guess you could say with Dagon that it was an honest mistake but everyone told Amadeus to not do what he did, he followed none of our warnings and it could have seen everything die."
"I know that you hate to be reminded. And you can tell yourself that it is because of those two's mistakes and that you wish to not see them as family but you and I both know the real reason. In death we all changed. Some more then others. In all honesty I do not even recognize Amadeus for who he used to be. He was the first to die and he didn't truly comeback. Dagon messed up and it costed so much, she still had parts of herself, but she still lost herself. We all became crueler, colder. But like you said we are at war and we need to do whatever it takes. We need the demons of hell to see us as their own. And well I think we both can say that we know how to torture and will do so with a smile on are face when necessary. Most would say are justifications is nothing but excuses and maybe they are right but if Michael gets his way it will be a lot more deaths then if we do everything we can. You and I both know that if we didn't run hell thing maybe a lot worse. Kids are off limits, deals are somewhat fair, anyone who doesn't follow the rules dies. Minus Lilith of course." Everything he said was true of course. I would still likely always feel off about him calling me sister, but it was also nice in a way.
"Let's stop talking about our wayward cousins. I own you an explanation, a reason on why I'm about to do what I am. You have sat upon the throne for longer then expected and I need you to stay on it for longer. Michael has one upped himself. He mimicked the spell I used to save our sister. He knew he couldn't get a shot at me or Sleip. On the off chance we could fight back. So he came after the one in which he shouldn't have been able to get to but had no way of fighting back. I failed my son. Now I have to play his game. But he thinks you are dead and the Lilith has some no name puppet doing her bidding. It needs to be seen as that by everyone. By time the sun comes up neither me, Sleipnir nor Gabriel will remember who you truly are. Lilith already doesn't know anything. But the three of us need to forget. So when the time calls for it and our Dad is out I need you to get me to drink this." I said handing him a vial. Giving him a second to say something but he just grabbed the vial. "Till we meet again big brother."
"Till we meet again, Ravina."
At the time I remembered the crying, but I never talked to Azazel as far as I could remember.
"Michael trapped my son in a deep sleep that he will not wake up from till he is woken. The simple fact of what you are brought those memories back. Well we would never get over it we were almost at a point that the pain was something we could deal with. I didn't want to put him through more of my family drama. And I know what you are going to say. He is your husband and your family issues are his too, but it was honestly best to keep the people that knew about you to a minimum. I love him, and I trust him with everything I am, and I can count the number of people who I trust that much on one hand. As cliché as it sounds it really was me not him. Everyone I have ever loved had been killed or locked away. I just couldn't bare the though of him dying or be locked in his own head, so I screwed everything up. But enough about my drama. I know it hasn't been long, but have you given any more thought to what I said."
"You have to realise why this is hard for me to even think about let alone believe," he told me.
"Yes, and I know that is somewhat do to the way John raise you to believe anything that ain't human needs to die but think about it like this, hunter only see the supernatural creatures that make the papers. They don't see those who are just living their lives the best they can. And when the truth does come out I swear that I will help Dean see that. Blood doesn't make you family and just because you don't share blood doesn't mean that you aren't family. You are Dean's little brother, nothing will change that. I know you are pissed that he didn't tell you what John said but despite how much it appeared that I was throwing Dean under the bus. That had nothing to do with why I did that. Yes, you did deserver to know and it had to come from Dean but look at it from Dean's point of view. He didn't know what to make of what John said and he didn't want it to seem like John didn't care about you. He just trying to protect you like a big brother should. Hell, it's just what people do when they care about each other. People will always do stupid things if they think it will protect someone they love. Is that your only problem with all of this?" she asked.
"it's just hard to wrap my head around. But I don't have much choice, do I?"
"Well I could not clean you of the demon blood. But I have no idea what that will do to you. Yellow-eyed demons are rare, extremely rare. Like there are four of them rare. Any other demon blood would made someone like you sick for a while then it would burn out of your system. Though demon blood can corrupt in large doses the amount that you were given would maybe make it a little bit easier to tempt you. Though the abilities are likely the reason. Though what is Azazel's end game? Cause doing this for no reason is not his style." I was being careful with my wording. Not lying but not saying everything I knew on the matter. I know when this is all said and done that he would likely hate me, but it needed to be done. I just hope that he understands and takes it out on me, Gabriel. Despite the fact that he wasn't doing anything thing to stop us he also wasn't truly on Hell's side. Hence why like so many others he only knows about plan A nor about my last order. If he did then just like Sleipnir then he would see that I am worse then any of the people they kill in the name of getting them to Hell quicker.
