5. What keeps you awake at night
Clementine's tired eyes slowly flicker into consciousness, and as the girl lays there still, a few moments pass by where it's as if everything around her is unmoving. Then, the sound of frantic whimpers close by finally reach her ears, and with full knowing, she jolts to face the girl in the bed next to her.
Sarah is stiffly bolted into a sitting position with her palms pressing down on the mattress at her sides, and she's leaning forward with her wide eyes staring forward into nothing. She's crying, and hyperventilating all at the same time, her chest rapidly rising and falling with every troubled breath. Yet, it's like her entire body has frozen up.
She looks terrified, and it's a sight that Clementine is all too familiar with.
"Hey, hey, hey," Clementine jerks upright in a panic, but her soft whispers aren't nearly enough to cause Sarah to react.
Her sobs only become louder, and Sarah's gaze refuses to meet the other girl's own. The sound of her distressed breathing fills the dark room, and it sends an uneasy shiver trailing up Clementine's spine.
Without the ability to see through the near blackness of the bedroom, Clementine soon comes to the realization that it's only the middle of the night. However, the exhausted feeling she has is instantly forgotten when wondering just how long Sarah had been awake like this, as well as the fact that she hadn't woken Clementine up.
The younger girl isn't even sure whether it's because Sarah didn't want to, or because she simply couldn't. The latter possibility is absolutely frightening to her.
"Sarah," she says firmly, her own voice trembling. "Sarah, hey, look at me," Clementine scrambles to shift in front of her on the bed, and when she remains unresponsive, she securely grips the girl's face in her palms.
Now forced to look at her, Sarah's gaze merely glances up to Clementine's own, but it's as if her eyes are staring right through her, like she isn't even there. Her breaths are deep, but they cut off all too quickly, and the words of desperation she's dying to say are just trapped in her throat.
Then Clementine senses tears welling up in her own eyes just from the awful sight of Sarah like this.
She can't breathe.
With everything she has, Clementine shifts closer towards the frightened girl until her own knees are on either side of Sarah's outstretched legs, continuing to cradle her tear-stained cheeks and never daring to let go.
"Hey, it's okay. It's gonna be fine," Clementine comforts in a soft tone, now practically perched in Sarah's lap to be as close to her as possible, and to let her know that she's there - that she's not going anywhere.
She can't breathe. She can't breathe. She can't breathe.
"Cl—Clem…" Sarah barely manages to sputter through her sobs, and it takes absolutely everything within Clementine to not completely crumble right then.
Just from the sound of her own name, she knows so very well that Sarah is begging her to make it stop, but they both know deep down that neither of them have a choice but to wait it out.
Their faces mere inches apart, Clementine scans the older girl's expression with creased brows, who's now staring back at her with pleading eyes as they're overwhelmed with fear. "I'm right here, Sarah," she reassures once more. "It'll go away soon, I promise."
Despite a part of her knowing it will pass, Clementine still feels her own heartrate pounding just a little bit faster from witnessing her friend in such a state. It kills her every time just having to listen to the heartbreaking sounds of her cries, knowing that she can't breathe and there's nothing either of them can do about it.
And Clementine has to remind herself – it's been worse. It's been so much worse, and Sarah had always gotten through it, even when it had been so bad that she thought she wouldn't.
Nearly a year earlier, she'd awoken in a panic one night when Sarah wasn't there by her side, and had found the girl outside retching her guts out just a few minutes later, no doubt from the random burst of anxiety that always seems to catch the poor girl in her sleep.
Yeah... it's been worse. It's been much worse.
"You just keep looking at me, okay? Start counting," insists Clementine, her tender voice rising with confidence.
Sarah desperately tries to form words, but all that manages to come out of her mouth at first are continued whimpers, and it only brings more tears to her eyes while she gasps for air.
"Count with me," Clementine repeats in an uplifting tone, "One…" she begins slowly, encouraging the other girl to continue.
Attempting to compose herself, she finally swallows the lump in her throat. "One…" Sarah stutters after a moment, her broken voice quivering.
Nodding in affirmation, Clementine peers slightly forward so their eyes are level with each other's, and she waits for her to continue.
"T-two..." Sarah sniffles, and Clementine says the numbers with her.
They count to twenty-five until Sarah's cries are brought to an end, and until thirty-seven for her to start breathing at a normal rate again. Even after that, Clementine doesn't quit until it's clear that the attack is entirely gone, all the way up to the point where it's as if they had just been talking normally, and nothing had ever happened in the first place.
Clementine finally stops counting at fifty-three, and Sarah's voice soon dissolves into nothing as well, following her lead.
The room is comfortingly silent now, but even after the calm sinks in, their gazes don't abandon each other's the entire time.
Clementine flashes her a warm grin, and Sarah returns a small smile with all the remnants of energy she has left.
"See?" Clementine whispers, her thumb stroking Sarah's tear-stained cheek. "All better."
It is then that Sarah remembers, that even in her lowest of moments, where it feels as if everything around her is shattering into a million pieces, she trusts Clementine. And just her being there through it all is more than enough to keep her on her feet.
The hopeful words that were once said to her have yet still to drift from Sarah's faltering memories - Sometimes it might take longer, but it always goes away in the end.
And as they remain still on the bed of the dark room afterwards, with Clementine closely seated in the girl's lap and her hands planted on either side of her face, she slowly pulls Sarah's head down to place a gentle kiss on top of her hair.
She'd left with an empty backpack this morning, one strap hauled over her shoulder as she rises on her toes to reach a high shelf. Carelessly, she dumps into it another handful of small boxes she doesn't bother reading the label of, figuring that no matter what it is, it will have to do.
At this point, she's taking anything she can find, and the last people who had been here clearly didn't leave much for anyone else. Everything she's collected so far is probably way past the expiration date, but they're used to the stale taste by now.
She strides through the final aisle, the various shelves of the abandoned grocery store nearly picked clean with a few littered items scattered along the floor. She reaches the end without anything else to add to her bag, much to her expectations. It isn't entirely full yet, but the amount of food and supplies she'd managed to find today should be more than enough to last them for at least for another few days.
She checks her watch. They've been out for nearly three hours. Sarah will have finished her run by now. But with a glance at the sky as she exits the building, Clementine figures she should have time to quickly search the convenient store next door before the sun goes down.
After the quick walk over through the deserted parking lot, she knocks on the door first. When she doesn't hear anything, Clementine peers through the cracked window in search of any residing walkers that may be on the other side. She waits a little longer, then attempts to push the door open when it's finally decided that the place is empty.
It jerks in place, refusing to budge. Locked.
Before she even releases the door handle, every muscle in her body freezes once she feels something cold firmly pressing against the back of her head, and she hears the loud cocking of a gun soon afterwards.
Her breath catches in her throat, refusing to even breathe.
"Don't. Move." Demands a voice from close behind her, the sound of it a lot louder than she'd expected. It's a woman's voice - strong and authoritative, but Clementine's memories struggles to recognize it.
At the sign of immediate danger, she resists the instinct to reach for her pistol that sits on her hip holster, but feeling that barrel digging even further into her head, Clementine's hands hover still by her sides instead, avoiding moving an inch.
Then her thoughts immediately rush to the knife that she keeps tucked by her waist, hidden underneath the fabric of her shirt.
"Turn around. Slowly," instructs the voice once more after a while of tense silence.
Clementine has run across a lot of different people in her lifetime, and a part of her wonders if one of them had managed to find her somehow, for whatever she had probably done to wrong them in the past, but once she turns to face her captor, the woman that stands before her is clearly no one that Clementine has ever seen before.
She must be only in her twenties, with pale skin and dark hair that lengthens just below her shoulders. She wears a black leather jacket with large silver hoop earrings, and doesn't appear to be carrying anything other than the gun she points at Clementine, both of her arms outstretched as she threateningly continues to aim the weapon.
The woman backs away a few steps when Clementine turns, her expression remaining cold and never faltering for a second. "You make any sudden moves, I put a bullet right in between your eyes."
Clementine doesn't say anything while remaining motionless. She only stares after the girl with her brows pressed together, completely furious as to how quickly she had allowed herself to be held at gunpoint, and the fact that she automatically has zero power between the two of them.
Refusing to show a sliver of emotion, Clementine instead waits for what it is she's going to say, despite the lack of patience she has in this moment.
"Now, here's what's gonna happen," the woman begins, her tone dangerously low. "You're gonna drop that weapon of yours," she gestures to the gun on Clementine's hip, "Empty your backpack for me, and I'm gonna take what I want from it. Then you're gonna tell me where the rest of your group is."
Once Clementine is positive there isn't anything else she aims to say, she finally speaks up with her voice coming out quieter than she'd intended. "You don't have to do this," she says, her palms still cautiously lingering slightly in front of her.
"See, that's where you're wrong," replies the woman matter-of-factly. "I've got problems of my own, kid. I need that stuff," she briefly points her pistol at the rucksack strapped on Clementine's shoulders. "It's everyone for themselves out here. But… I think you know how this works by now, sweetheart," she finishes with a smug smirk, her tone momentarily lightening at the mocking nickname.
Clementine squints in suspicion, beyond curious as to who this woman is, and where the hell she had come from. At least her reasoning is a lot simpler than Clementine had expected. She just seems like a regular scavenger, but from experience, it's still hard to tell these sorts of things.
After a few moments of contemplation, Clementine finds herself with no other choice. With a gun pointed directly at her from just a few feet away, she'd be plain stupid not to oblige.
Aggravation rising inside her, she slowly reaches for the pistol on her hip without breaking eye contact with the other woman. It drops at her feet with a clatter, then as an extra favour, she kicks the weapon away from her.
Once it collides with her boots, the woman quickly bends down and tucks Clementine's gun into the back of her jeans, disappearing from sight.
It isn't the first time Clementine has been in this situation. She'd like to say the specific requests from this woman are odd, but she knows better than anyone that people will do anything these days to survive, even if scavenging means stealing from young girls too, apparently.
Still, she won't plead for her life. She'd learned all too long ago that would be a foolish thing to do, not to mention completely useless. All she can do is give this woman what she wants, then go find Sarah as soon as she chooses to leave.
Slowly, Clementine pulls the strap off her shoulder and kneels to the ground in silence, opening the backpack's zipper.
"You pull any other weapons out of there and I won't hesitate to pull the trigger," she warns, now stepping around to Clementine's side while still maintaining her aim on her.
The young girl freezes momentarily, thankful the woman isn't able to catch sight of her death-like glare from the angle she's at, then proceeds her movements with a slight roll in her eyes.
Clearly, she thinks.
For all she knows, that pistol may not even be loaded. Threatening someone with a gun is just a scare tactic, one that Clementine knows all too well.
She isn't afraid.
From the looks of this woman, she doesn't look like she had ever killed anyone before. Then again, Clementine is only thirteen, yet she's killed plenty.
The contents of her bag are roughly dumped onto the pavement in front of her, the various items clattering to the ground in a heavy pile.
"Back up," orders the woman after a few moments, her eyes never leaving Clementine's own.
She obliges, rising to a stand and taking a few steps away. She eyes her own collection before her, a scattered mess of mostly clothes, food, and books, as well as a small assortment of medicine. She hadn't even noticed how many things she'd been carrying until now.
"Get on your knees," she barks, the woman continuing to circle around her a short distance away.
Clementine exhales softly, now unable to see the other girl who continues to pace behind her. "Please, just—" She's instantly silenced when a rough hand grabs the back of her neck, aggressively pushing her to the ground.
Now forced on her knees, Clementine glares from underneath her eyelashes as the woman quickly emerges from the other side of her, striding towards the pile of supplies a few feet away and kneeling to the ground.
"So? Where are they?" she quips. Her gun is still aimed in Clementine's direction, but now only held limply between them while her gaze focuses on picking through the items at her feet instead.
"I'm by myself," the younger girl responds without hesitation, absentmindedly staring after the weapon in the woman's hand. The answer is almost default by now.
"Bullshit," she exclaims all too quickly, now focusing her attention to Clementine. "No way a girl your age is out here on her own."
Despite the infinite number of witty remarks that come to mind, Clementine holds her tongue, and a huge part of her wonders just how many times she's been told that before, too. "I swear," she presses, struggling to mask the annoyance she feels inside.
Clementine just hopes that if this woman does shoot her, Sarah will be able to get herself far enough away in time. Even with her own life on the line, it's all she can manage to think about.
The woman scoffs, as if the thought of her statement alone is ridiculous. "Trust me, I know how this works. I've seen my share of people like you," she accuses with a hard stare, a bite to her tone. "People that say they're alone when really they've got a whole group of others just waiting for them," she continues, now rising to a stand. "They're all liars. Why should you be any different?"
"I'm not with anyone, just… just take whatever you want and let me go," Clementine insists, her volume unintentionally rising in defense.
She shakes her head while wearing a pitiful grin, peering down at the girl on her knees. "I'm afraid I can't do that. How do I know you won't just send someone after me for taking your shit?"
"So, what?" challenges Clementine, not even bothering to further deny her. "You're gonna kill me?"
As soon as the words escape her lips, the opposite woman nearly stomps towards her impatiently, now towering directly over Clementine. "Where. Are. They?" she fumes, her voice dangerously low.
The girl's expression remains hard, the thought of revealing her friend's whereabouts far from her mind. "I don't know what you're talking about," Clementine retorts, her cold eyes refusing to break contact with the figure before her.
She crouches to Clementine's level with fury behind her eyes, as if a chord had just been struck within her. "Quit playing dumb with me, bitch!" shouts the woman impatiently, their faces now mere inches apart. "The girl you were with, where the fuck is she?!"
And it isn't until she hears those words that Clementine shows fear for the first time that day.
Sarah.
Her eyes widen in a panic, her muscles tensing up as if she can't find the strength in her to breathe. Then she determinately presses her lips together, her brows furrowing with nothing but pure anger as Clementine jerks to knock the gun out of the woman's hand.
The pistol rattles onto the pavement while Clementine yanks the knife from underneath her shirt with her other hand, tackling the girl to the ground in an instant.
"How the hell did you know about her?!" she yells, pressing the blade directly against the woman's throat and jamming her knee into her chest as she lays restrained.
Had she been following them? Sarah and Clementine have lived in the area for months now, and never did they come across someone else that wasn't the living dead. This woman couldn't have just arrived here if she already saw her and Sarah together. The question is, when? Did she see them more than once?
The thought of the infinite possibilities only frustrates Clementine more, and she resists the urge to slit her throat right at this very moment. A part of her craves an answer, but another hardly even cares about the fate of this girl after she's already proven to be much more of a danger to them than she'd initially presumed.
For someone to steal from her, interrogate her, or even hurt her - Clementine can handle. But the minute that someone threatens Sarah is the minute that she loses her grip on all decency.
"Get—the fuck off me!" sputters the woman through her strained efforts, clutching onto Clementine's wrist in an attempt to push the knife away.
Entirely aware of the gun laying just a few feet away, Clementine knows full well that she'll be killed as soon as this woman is given the chance. So, she struggles to keep her pinned beneath her, the two of them fighting against each other with everything they have.
The other girl grunts when she manages to jam her boot into Clementine's stomach, the knife falling from either of their grasps as she's pushed away.
The woman reaches for it before Clementine is able to, and in a panic, the younger girl frantically scans around for the gun from earlier. Spotting her target a short distance away, Clementine quickly crawls towards it while gasping for breath.
Her trembling fingers desperately reach for the weapon, her heartrate now pounding out of her own chest with every passing second. She whips around onto her back, both arms extending in front of her to aim the pistol upwards at the charging woman.
Just as she lunges towards Clementine with the knife clutched in her palm, a shot rings out through her ears, and the startling sound is so sudden that Clementine squeezes her eyes shut from the volume of it.
She grunts as she feels warm blood splatter onto her face, followed by the heavy weight of the woman's body collapsing on top of her.
It's completely silent around her now, and all that can be heard is Clementine's panting breaths as she lays there still, and the faint high-pitched screeching that still seems to hum throughout her head.
When she opens her eyes again, most of her vision is obscured by the corpse that lays on top of her, their faces only inches away from each other's and the woman's dark hair tickling Clementine's face.
Her muscles still shaking, she pushes the body off of her with strained effort and the lifeless weight rolls limply by her side. After regaining some recollection of what had just happened, she jerks to a sitting position, and her eyes instantly widen by the sight she's met with.
Sarah stands directly before her, her arms fully outstretched in front of her body, and her pistol clutched tightly within her trembling fingers.
They both remain there motionless, only staring speechless at the other with Clementine gaping on the ground, and Sarah aiming a gun at her.
It isn't until then that Clementine realizes - she hadn't even been the one that pulled the trigger.
Moments pass by before Sarah finally lowers her arms, and the look on the girl's face is absolutely agonizing. She looks horrified - her hands shaking violently and her wide eyes flooding with panic as they remain fixed on the body by Clementine's side.
"I… I shot her…" Sarah murmurs in a cowering voice, the words quivering on her tongue as she finally interrupts the tense silence between the two.
Clementine's heart shatters at the broken sight of her.
She wants to say something to her, to do anything else but remain there unresponsive. And just staring after Sarah's shaking form, her petrified eyes watching the lifeless corpse on the ground as blood continues to pool around the woman's head, Clementine knows she needs to do something.
She's unfazed by the sight, a dead body so close to her couldn't be more familiar. But Sarah - one can only imagine how she must be feeling. She appears as if she might start screaming, or crying, or simply break down all at once as she remains there panting.
"Sarah…" begins Clementine after a while, her own voice breaking unintentionally. A wary hand raises in front of her as she slowly pulls herself to her feet, standing with caution so as not to frighten the other girl anymore than she already is.
Her gaze lingers on her friend and nothing else as she closely scans her expression for whatever it is Sarah may do, and Clementine isn't even sure whether she knows she's there anymore.
With a racing heartbeat, Sarah's breaths quicken even further as she tries to speak. "I'm—I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry…" she sputters through her sobs, frantically shaking her head with disbelief.
Her hands rise to her face, whimpering more words that Clementine can't make out. She steps backwards while glancing down at the body once more, before whipping around and sprinting in the opposite direction as a well of tears stream down her face.
"Sarah, wait!" Clementine calls after her, but she doesn't turn back.
The younger girl races a few steps forward, but the sound of her cries only gradually fades away, and Clementine watches in place as Sarah's cowering figure runs further and further away from her.
