Lie To Me
Special thanks to those who reviewed for the last chapter: ZhaLenn (Thanks so much! It was a big win for me to get an A on that test. Thanks for the review!), Qweb (Aw, you nailed that on the head! All three points! Thanks!), sv4me (I'm sorry that it was disappointing, but I did say that Blackhawk/Clintasha wasn't the focus of this story. I feel like I should write you a Blackhawk story to make up for that fact, lol. At least in this universe Natasha is very frightened of a relationship. She's really only there because she cares about Clint and doesn't want him to get hurt.), Sandy-wmd (Agreed. It would have been awkward even if he did want to remember since they weren't together anymore by her choice, not his. Natasha's still love-phobic but she does care for Clint, and she's not ready to lose the man she could have loved), Alfheimchick (Me cool? You're cool! ^^ Thanks for the review!), kimbee (I definitely wouldn't want to remember if I had his life…suddenly I want poppy seed muffins…I just thought I'd share…random. As for my next story, I'm working it out. Actually I'm writing a new chapter for Antics ^^ It's awesome!), discordchick (I was surprised how much I liked Steve and Clint's interactions in this story, I'd never really written them together in anything else…except for maybe the first chapter of Antics, lol), jaguarspot (They haven't told him much of his past because he asked for them not to. He wanted to 'remember' on his own, although now he's dead set on not remembering. Thanks for the reviews!)
Chapter Seven
Natasha decided to join Steve in his mission to retrain her former partner. If anyone could help guide Clint back to his previous ability, it would be Natasha. After all they had trained together ever since she had joined SHIELD.
"I'd like to state for the record that I don't like this." She admitted while they waited for Clint to join them.
Steve gave her a sidelong glance as he wrapped his knuckles with protective tape. "Why not? Having him do the things he's most familiar with might jog his memory." He pointed out.
Natasha rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but agree, at least in that regard. She was worried though. Worried her partner would get hurt. It was a bit childish or maybe even a bit paranoid, but Natasha couldn't help but think something bad would happen. No matter what they taught him now he'd never be the way he was before. Years of training and natural instinct didn't just come back to you through muscle memory.
"I still think this is a bad idea. He's not ready to fight with us in the field." Natasha shook her head stubbornly at Steve.
Steve frowned at her words and turned to face her more directly. "I never said he'd be field-ready after one session. I didn't say he was going into the field at all. I was hoping he'd eventually rejoin us, but that'll be strictly up to him, not me."
"I know Clint better than any of you do." Natasha pointed out with a bite of bitterness. "He'll end up rushing this and want to jump into battle before he's ready."
Steve shook his head slowly. "This Clint seems more cautious." He argued. "Besides, maybe it will be a good thing. Maybe joining us in the field will bring back his memories."
Natasha's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Or maybe he'll end up dead."
A cough interrupted whatever Steve was going to say back and the two of them glanced over to see Clint standing off to the side. "Sorry." He told them sheepishly. "I just figured you'd want to know I'm here before you continue your conversation." He shrugged.
Natasha huffed but backed off and Steve sighed and did the same as he turned to Clint with a small smile. "Sorry about that." Steve spoke honestly. Natasha could tell that Cap felt guilty that Clint had heard their conversation, even if he wasn't sure how much Clint had heard.
Natasha was slightly impressed that Clint was able to sneak up on both of them unnoticed, but then again Clint was a master at sneaking around. At least the old Clint had been.
"Look," Clint said and paused to clear his throat before he continued. "I don't want to jump into a uniform or costume or whatever and go fight any bad guys anytime soon." He told them carefully, his eyes looked more towards Natasha than Steve. "I'm just – not ready for that. Mentally, physically, you can take your pick in reasons for me not to. All I want to accomplish here with you guys is learning to defend myself. I don't want anyone to get hurt because I couldn't do anything to help."
Natasha felt relief and sadness rush through her at the same time. It was conflicting and confusing but she still understood why she felt both so strongly. This Clint was more responsible, but that just made her heart ache for the Clint she had lost. This Clint had been remembering but now it appeared that he stopped.
But why had he stopped remembering? That was the biggest question on Natasha's mind. She refused to think that her Clint was lost forever.
"Okay," Steve spoke up with a nod and a smile. "We'll start with the basics and move from there."
Over the next few hours Steve and Natasha taught Clint how to defend himself from various kinds of attacks. It wasn't surprising to them when Clint picked things up quickly. They didn't even have to go through some things because his muscle memory picked up where his mind left off. All they were really doing was helping Clint redevelop those lost skills so he could use them without blind luck.
Things got a little more interesting when Steve threw a punch and Clint dodged it by doing an acrobatic back summersault without being retaught the action or even being told that he had gymnastic stills. They paused for a moment while Clint processed what he had done before they continued to spar.
Natasha pushed Clint to expose more of his acrobatic talents when they sparred together, Clint's body responding with muscle memory before his mind could really process what he was doing.
Soon it seemed as if Clint was back to normal and they were sparring like they always had.
In the heat of moment mixed with building adrenaline Natasha briefly forgot that Clint wasn't back to normal and threw a more advanced move into the mix before he was ready to deal with it.
She charged Clint, wrapped her legs around his body, and knocked him off balance enough to force him to fall back onto the mat. Normally he'd counteract after they hit the mat, but it was clear this Clint was a bit stunned from the force of the hit.
Natasha stayed on top of him, straddling his body with her knees resting on either side of his heaving chest. Her face stayed inches away from Clint's. They were stealing each other's air, but Natasha didn't mind sharing.
"Clint." She whispered his name in breathy hope that somehow his memory had returned if only because she wanted it so badly.
He flushed underneath her intense gaze and Natasha immediately retreated. This wasn't her Clint. This wasn't her partner and there was a chance she'd never see that man again. Without another word she nodded to Rogers, who looked incredibly uncomfortable, and left the gym.
Clint laid on the ground for a long moment after Natasha stormed away and focused on catching his breath.
"That was," Steve said from the side as he moved closer, sitting a safe distance away from Clint before handing him a water bottle. "Good."
Clint turned his head to look at Steve and raised an eyebrow before sitting up. His whole body was sore from using muscles that hadn't been used for too long. "Weird would have been a more accurate definition, I think."
"The sparring part was good." Steve clarified with a wince. "You went from a beginning level to high intermediate in only a few hours, I'd say that was pretty good."
Clint's endurance needed building after he was inactive for so long, but yeah, he could agree that at least that part had gone well. It was still a bit odd to him how his body seemed to know things that he had forgotten. It also felt a bit dangerous, too close to remembering for comfort.
"And the Natasha thing?" Clint mumbled with a glance to the door and then a look back to Steve.
Steve shook his head and shrugged at the same time. "I don't know. You two broke up not long after New York. That's really all I know."
A prickle of pain surprised Clint. "You're lying." He growled and Steve blinked.
"Oh, Tony mentioned – but I, I guess I thought he was joking." Steve frowned. "I wasn't trying to lie, Clint, but it really isn't any of my business. I could tell that you both still cared for one another, but she wasn't ready and you were done pushing it." Steve shrugged again.
Clint nodded as he twisted the cap off the water and downed half of it's contents slowly. "I'm not sure what she wants here." Clint commented. "I mean, does she want to try to rekindle her relationship with the former me?"
Steve shook his head. "I think she's trying to protect you until you remember."
With a short scoffing noise Clint stood and Steve joined him.
"This was a really good start, Clint." Steve praised him as they stood outside of the gym, ready to part ways to shower and get ready for the evening meal.
Clint nodded, his mind still half on Natasha as he glanced at Steve. "I have to admit it went better than I would have thought, but I'm still worried. It doesn't really feel like I learned anything. It was more like, I don't know, I was cheating somehow. Do you think muscle memory is enough to keep me safe?" Is it enough to keep everyone around me safe? Clint added in the safety of his mind.
"Yes," Steve answered with a reassuring smile, "I do. You'll be able to defend yourself the way you used to very soon."
"And 'fighting the bad guys' what about that?" Clint asked, suddenly less concerned with Natasha.
Steve sighed and deflated a little. "That's up to you. When you feel ready – "
"Natasha doesn't seem to think I'll ever be ready." Clint interrupted. "At least not without my old memories."
"Natasha is concerned for your safety." Steve shrugged. "We all are. I won't lie when I say we all hope you'll remember soon."
"I don't." Clint mumbled and promptly ignored the shocked look that crossed Steve's face.
"What?" Steve asked.
"I don't want to remember." Clint informed him. "I'm going to go shower." He announced before an argument could start. Clint didn't want to fight over it. He also didn't want to remember. It was time they knew where he stood on the matter. He didn't want them to continue hoping for something he didn't think would ever happen. It wasn't fair. Especially when they were all so kind to him. Clint also didn't want them to be nice to him just because they thought eventually he'd turn back into the guy he had been before.
It was later that night that Tony announced that they should celebrate something. It started out as a celebration for Clint's choice to trust the team, but changed to Clint's sparring lesson going well before finally being switched to a team bonding movie night after Clint told Tony that he'd rather not be in the spotlight.
Simple bonding turned out to be a good choice anyway. It had been a while since the Avengers had gotten a chance to relax together. Clint's amnesiac status hadn't changed the tension much, but they were all safe and together, apart from Thor who was home on Asgard.
Clint caught Steve staring at him, which was making him slightly uncomfortable. He figured that Steve hadn't told anyone about his announcement. Clint also was fairly certain that Steve was going to try and talk to him after their little party. Steve would give some meaningful speech that would tug at Clint's heart and trick him into wanting to remember, but it wasn't going to work. Clint was stubborn and pointedly ignored the stares.
Natasha seemed to be the only one who noticed, but she was avoiding Clint as much as Clint was avoiding Steve.
So much for team 'bonding' night.
"Who wants a beer?" Tony announced suddenly as Bruce handed out bowls of popcorn.
Clint glanced around when no one responded. Wasn't beer drinking a typical 'bonding' experience for people?
"Come on, Steve? How bout it?" Tony pressed, raising a couple beers in the air.
Steve peeled his eyes off of Clint's back and glanced Tony's direction with a frown. "What's the point? I can't get drunk."
Clint glanced over his shoulder at the man with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"
"Super soldier serum – super soldier metabolism." Steve offered with a shrug.
Bruce was turning Tony down when Clint spoke up. "I'll have one."
The room fell silent and suddenly all eyes turned to him. Even Tony looked surprised, his jaw hanging slightly ajar.
Clint stiffened at the attention and glanced around defensively. "What's wrong?" He asked with a blush.
"Um," Bruce spoke up awkwardly. "It's just you don't really drink."
Clint's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Why not? It's socially acceptable, right? I mean, I've watched enough TV shows and movies – "
"It's not that." Natasha interrupted, but no words followed to elaborate.
"Well, am I allergic or something?" Clint asked.
Bruce shook his head. "No."
"Okay, well, I want to give it a try." Clint announced and held his hand out to Tony to take a beer. Tony hesitated before handing the beer over to Clint. "I need to figure out what I like and what I don't like on my own, right?"
"I guess." Tony sighed and looked guilty for a second before his expression switched to pure joy. "If you like the beer maybe we can go to a bar sometime. No one ever goes with me to bars! Well, except Rhode, but he's always busy with his job and tends to suck the fun out of things."
Clint nodded, that sounded normal. He smirked a bit before taking his first sip out of the bottle. It was bitter, but smooth with a slightly citrus taste. Clint made a face at first but tipped his head. It wasn't bad. Not like the tomato anyway.
"Not bad." Clint announced after taking a second sip. "So, why didn't I drink before?"
"Uh," Tony stalled and glanced at Natasha.
She cleared her throat, which was interesting since she rarely showed any signs of being uncomfortable. "Your father drank a lot when you were a child. Your brother also was a bit of a drunk. You didn't want to be like them."
Clint let the words wash over him as he held the beer in his hands. He got the impression that his family had been bad people too. That sort of explained a lot about his past self. What it didn't explain was how not drinking made him 'better' than his drunk relatives since he killed people for a living sober.
He shrugged after a few minutes of prolonged silence, "Bar sounds interesting." Clint told Tony with a smirk. The tension seemed to fade a bit at the lightness in Clint's tone.
Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved! I feel like I should say something more snarky or cute….but I'm lazy…and craving poppy seed muffins….I'm gunna go bake some…
