"You said you would call." was Vexen's greeting as they sat on the loveseat in his in-home workplace. Cloud's sigh sounded more like an aggravated groan when he apologized. Next to him, Zexion ignored them and pulled the hood on his ash-colored sweatshirt over his head. Vexen noted this behavior on the first visit years ago. The psychologist thought it made Zexion feel more secure, like a blanket to a child in the dark. This is what he told Cloud, and Cloud pretended to believe him. But he figured out the truth from noticing Zexion's frequent habit of adjusting his hair.
The hood kept his hair in place so he wouldn't worry about people seeing his scars. In any case, Zexion was allowed his "cover" for every session and was never asked to remove it, regardless the standard procedure of no hats, hoods, or sunglasses inside. Silently, Zexion thanked Vexen again for allowing him the shelter.
"So, Zexion Strife, your Uncle Cloud tells me you had another 'nightmare'."
"I did."
"What happened in your dream?" Vexen poised his pen at the ready to write down every word the boy said.
"I was in my room as my ten-year old self. They were fighting in the kitchen."
"Who are they?"
"Aerith and Sephiroth."
"Mmm... Tell me, Zexion, why do you call your parents by their first names? Why not call them Mom and Dad?"
Mommy...
Cloud spoke up, "Doctor, I don't think he should have to answer that."
"No, Cloud, it's okay." Zexion gave Cloud a reassuring smile, "I can only be helped if I'm willing to cooperate."
"Very good. So, please, tell me why you call them by their names? You don't even call Cloud your uncle. Is he not your father's brother?"
"He is."
"Then why the formality? Is it different with your parents versus your uncle?"
"I used to call him Uncle Cloud. It faded with age." I hope they accept my lie.
They did, "I understand. It's similar to the transition between Mommy and Mom."
Good.
"What about your parents?"
"I..." Fuck. What do I tell them? "Um."
"Are you alright, Zex?" he heard Cloud faintly, "Do you feel faint?"
"N-No, I'm fine, I just..." There's no use running anymore. Tell them.
"Yes?" Dr. Vexen didn't look up from his notebook.
"They don't want me to call them my parents."
The two men stopped altogether and openly exchanged glances. This was a breakthrough in getting Zexion to talk. Vexen pushed lightly, "Why do you think that is? My records say you haven't spoken to them since the whole falling-out. Unless, that isn't true?"
"It's true."
"Zex, you never told me this." Cloud sounded a little hurt.
Zexion's voice suddenly turned cold, "I'm not apologizing to you."
He couldn't feel Cloud flinch at the harshness in his tone. His mind was elsewhere, remembering. In the very depths of his head, the sea of his darkest memories were overflowing and drowning the rest of his mind. Images flashed before his open eyes. When he closed them, all he could see was Aerith's face. She was angry with him. It was as if Sephiroth had done nothing, and Zexion was her every nightmare. Aerith's neat, delicate script carved poisonous words into Zexion's mind. He remembered reading them, his heart threatening to burst:
"Zexion's fault." "It's all his fault." "My biggest mistake." "Horrible child." "Selfish little bastard." "Abandoned me." "I wish he'd never been born at all."
All my fault.
"Zexion!" Cloud's voice invaded his thoughts, "Zexion! Are you okay?"
Zexion's eyes darted to Vexen. He gave him a glare that couldn't contain enough hatred. That man made him remember. He put him through pain. Vexen wasn't helping. He was making it worse. And then there was Cloud. Cloud brought him here. He brought him to agony. Then his words echoed through Zexion's ears, "I hate it when you hurt. So when I can't do anything to help you, then I try my fucking best to find someone that can."
That someone is Vexen. Cloud cares about me. He wouldn't hurt me. They're here to help me. Calm down.
He hadn't realized he'd fallen to the floor and blinked his astonishment. A moment passed where no one said anything, both men staring at Zexion. Zexion finally regained his posture and sat back on the couch. He mumbled to Cloud, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, Zex. I think you've had enough for today. Why don't you go wait outside, get some air. I still have to talk to Dr. Vexen."
The teen nodded, getting to his feet and walking out the front door. As soon as the door's handle clicked shut, Cloud said, "I don't know if he wants me telling you this, and I doubt he'll ever say it himself, but, I could give you more information about all this. I've kept it to myself thinking it was rude to give away secrets of his."
"These secrets are what we're after. If you can give me more data, I can find an easier way to cure him."
"Alright. Well, he called me Uncle Cloud his whole childhood, even a while after he came to live with me. It was the same with his parents. He'd ask me where Mom and Dad were. I never told him. Then, one day, he only called me Cloud. At first I thought it was him growing up, but he wouldn't say Mom or Dad. Only Aerith and Sephiroth."
"What happened that day?"
"I took him to the police station so I could check on the case with my brother. While I was talking to Officer Lexaeus, Zexion was playing with papers on the floor. I asked if it was alright and the officer said not to worry about it. But on the way home, Zexion didn't make a noise on the bike. He usually loved it and would yell but, nothing. Then when I asked what was wrong he said 'nothing, Cloud'. That was the first time."
"Do you think he may have seen something he wasn't supposed to?"
"I doubt it. Seph never put Zexion in school so he couldn't read then. I put him in an intense school, made him study a lot, and then he graduated like everybody else."
"Interesting theory, but I do believe something happened at the police station. No matter," he got up and typed something into the computer on his desk, "I'm writing you a prescription for his sleep-aids. Try not to be too dependent on them."
"Well, okay. Thank you for your time, Doctor."
Vexen simply waved over his shoulder, "Call first next time."
Cloud left the office and walked outside to see Zexion leaning against the bike with his hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes were closed, as if he were listening to music in his head. They snapped opened and locked on to Cloud. He smiled, "Hey, Cloud. Ready to go?"
The blonde was having doubts. He predicted what Zexion would say, and asked him anyway for consolation, "Zex, this is really important," he put his hands on his shoulders to make sure he was paying attention, "I need to know. Back when you were little, and we went to the police station, when I was talking to Officer Lexaeus, did you see anything? Anything at all?" Please say nothing.
Zexion froze. He wondered whether or not he should tell him. Cloud might as well know the truth; there really was no purpose in hiding it. He sighed and spoke three words that sent a lance through Cloud's heart, stopping time altogether.
"Aerith's suicide note."
