Hey. So I was reading an article about Demi in a magazine my mom bought for me (haha. She knows I love Demi.) and it actually made me cry. Like, I knew all about the bipolar and the cutting and the eating disorders, but I didn't really know how long it had actually been going on for. Like, I thought it was a more recent thing, but it's been going on for like years. Poor Demi. She's definitely my hero though. I think she's so brave. She's been inspiring me to get help for my problems. I told my mom about how I think I might be bipolar and she's gonna take me to talk to someone and get diagnosed. Seriously, she's like my inspiration. I would get the same tatoos she has on her wrists, but 1) I don't have the money, 2) My mom would NEVER let me get a tatoo before 18, and 3) Big visible tatoos like that make it really hard to get a job. Lucky Demi already has one. Maybe I'll get "Stay strong" tatooed on my hip when I turn 18...Just thinking about Demi makes it easier not to cut though because lately, it's been really hard for me. Like, anyone who's gone through anything like eating disorders, cutting, that kind of thing, knows how hard it can be just to tell one person about it. I've only ever told my two ex-boyfriends about it and then my friend kinda found out for herself. and then of course there's you guys, but I would never be able to do what Demi did and tell the whole world about it. In my opinion, she's the bravest person in the world.
Okay, enough about that. Here's the chapter. I've been experimenting with some ideas for batman fanfictions so I'm getting really behind in chapters and I'm actually just writing them right before i post, but hey, at least I'm writing them. :)
Tawni's POV
"Please," James pleaded. He looked like he was about to get down on his knees and beg.
"We are not checking into a hotel," I answered. "And that's final. Sonny is my best friend and she offered to let us stay here, so you're going to be grateful whether you like it or not."
"I am grateful," he insisted. "It's just, Chad..."
"Is my ex-husband?" I finished. He nodded. "James, I have to tell you something." This was it. I was really going to tell him this time.
"You still love him?" he guessed. I stifled a laugh.
"Of course not," I said. "What Chad and I had wasn't even real, James. It was just a fling."
"But you were married..." he pointed out.
"Let me finish. I didn't really marry Chad. I mean, I did, but, it's not how you think it is. I'm from the past."
"What?" James asked, not getting what I was saying. "But then wouldn't you be like...younger? Stop kidding around, Tawni."
"I'm not kidding," I answered solemnly. James frowned, seeming to believe me. "Zora invented this time machine and when I woke up, I was 26 and married to Chad. I don't remember anything that happened over the past ten years." James didn't answer. He seemed to be trying to comprehend what I'd just said.
"How long ago was this?" he asked me.
"Six months," I answered.
"So you thought your baby was Chad's?" he asked. I nodded.
"That explains why you kept saying 'The baby's Chad's.' when I showed up at your house," he said, smirking.
"You're not gonna freak out?" I asked, still bracing myself for a delayed reaction. James shook his head. "And you really believe me?"
"Yea," he answered. "It makes sense. Whenever I bring up something that happened before June, you look completely lost. I was starting to think you had Alzheimer's." I chuckled, thinking back on how worried I'd been about James' reaction. He'd taken it better than I'd ever dared to hope.
"So," I said, changing the subject. "Do you want to come with me to pick out bridesmaid dresses for the wedding tomorrow?"
"No," James answered, shaking his head.
"Oh," I answered. "Okay. Well, you can order the flowers then, kay?" James shook his head again.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I can't marry a 16-year-old," he answered. "The wedding's off."
DUN DUN DUUNNNNNNNNNNN. Sorry. Thought the moment could use some dramatic music. :P Speaking of music, I have a new song I'm obsessed with atm. I've been listening to it non-stop for three days...kinda like how I used to listen to Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert for a minimum of 24 hours a week. And then how I listened to the Backstreet Boys non-stop. And then Good To You by Marianas Trench (The Jessica Lee version. So much better than the Kate Voegele version.) It's called Everday by Jessie Daniels and I LOVE it. I was actually looking for batman videos to watch with my brother when i was babysitting and there was a Harley/Joker tribute with this song and it sooo fits them and the girl who sings it has such a good voice. Well, that's all. Peace out suckahs. Happy Easter Monday!
What are you thinking
Doing the things you do?
What are you wanting?
Cuz all I want is you to see
Everything you are to me
And how you and I could be
Every dream come true
Everyday I try to tell you
Every time I think I get through
You put up a wall, you're so invincible
Nothing could keep me away
I'll find a way
Everyday
What are you scared of?
What do you have to lose?
You'll never know if
All you do's refuse and hide
From the door that's open wide
Ignore the voice you hear inside
And everything I say
Everyday I try to tell you
Every time I think I get through
You put up a wall, you're so invincible
Nothing could keep me away
I'll find a way
Everday
I won't give up
Cuz you mean that much
No matter what you are going through
I've waited this long
My love is stronger than forever
Strong enough to keep loving you
Everyday
Everytime I think I get though
You put up a wall you're so invincible
Nothing could keep me away
Everday I try to tell you
Everytime I think I get through
You put up a wall, you're so invincible
Nothing could keep me away
I'll find a way
Everyday
Yeaaaa yea yea
I'll be waiting on you
Every single day
