I normally don't give warnings or anything but this chapter contains talk of abuse and drug use so I wanted to give a heads up. I don't think I go into great detail but I thought this was necessary
Next Week
John stood in the doorway and watched Randy neatly fold his shirt, pack his toiletries away then zip his bag
"Are you almost ready?"
"You don't have to drive me to the airport John. Alexei is using a car service and said that he'd swing by and pick me up."
"That's very nice of Alexei but I'm taking you to the airport."
"Okay." Randy said putting his rolling bag on the floor. "You're taking me to the airport. I have an hour and a half before I need to be there."
"So we have time for a quickie and a shower?"
"We have time for a quickie and a shower." Randy said pulling his shirt over his head
...
"There's Alexei." Randy said as John drove onto the tarmac where the plane was waiting
"He looks like Steven with a different haircut." Randy laughed
"Alexei is shorter than Steven and they have different color eyes...and Alexei is nothing like Steven."
"Well thank God for that."
"John."
"What?"
"Don't start." Randy said leaning over. "Give me a kiss." John kissed him softly. "Do you want to meet him?"
"I should since he's riding on my plane." John said unbuckling his seatbelt. Randy laughed to himself at John's behavior and opened his door
"Alexei!" He waved the other man over
"Hi. You must be John." Alexei said shaking John's hand. "It's nice to meet you."
"Same here."
"I want to thank you on my brothers' behalf, because he wouldn't do it himself, for letting Randy visit. I'm sure their tight friendship is a little weird for you but I think Rand is going to be an important and integral part of Steven getting and staying clean." John nodded
"No problem. I may not like every aspect of it but like I told Randy I won't deny Steven any support he needs to get clean."
"I thank you for that." Why couldn't Randy have dated him? John thought as he smiled. Alexei wasn't gay but Randy didn't like how well he and John were hitting it off
"Now that the two of you have met I think it's time for us to be on our way. You and I need to pick up lunch for Steven before going to the center."
"Don't they feed him at that place?"
"Yes but he doesn't like it. Didn't he tell you?"
"No but he can't work me like he does you so I guess that's why." John laughed
"He does not work me."
"Okay Rand." Alexei said laughing
"He doesn't."
"Alright already." He said slapping Randy's shoulder. John couldn't help but laugh and Randy glared at him
"We have to go." Randy said wrapping his arms around John who hugged him back
"Be safe."
"I will."
"I'll see you in two days."
"Yes you will John." John kissed him
"Love you."
"Love you too." Randy said kissing him back
"Yea, this definitely looks better than you and my brother. You guys are cute."
"You are just racking up points here Alexei. We might become best friends."
"Sounds pretty awesome to me."
"That's enough. Let's go Alexei."
Utah: 2 pm
When Alexei and Randy touched down at Salt Lake City International Airport Alexei rented a car and drove them to Sundance Utah where they checked in to the Sundance Resort
"Come in!" Randy yelled as he unpacked his bag. "What's up?"
"I came to see what your room looked like."
"We're both in a Sundance suite so I assume that our rooms look the same."
"They do. Are you going to be ready soon?"
"Yea. Just let me put this stuff away then we can get going."
"What do we have to get him for lunch?"
"I didn't ask. He should just be happy with whatever we bring."
"He's not going to be all that concerned with eating once he sees you." Randy groaned and Alexei laughed
"Ugh, let's go." The men left the hotel and found a local place to pick up lunch then headed for Cirque Lodge. When they pulled up Steven was out front
"Oh my God."
"What?"
"Look at the smile on his dumbass face." Randy laughed. "You would have thought we were here to bust him out of this joint. He's still sweet on you."
"Yea," Randy said opening his door. "He needs to let that shit go." Alexei chuckled as he opened his own door
"What did you guys bring me for lunch?" Steven asked reaching for the bag in Randy's hand
"What kind of greeting is that you ass?" Randy questioned snatching the bag back
"Would a kiss suffice?" Randy handed him the bag. "Very funny." Steven said pulling Randy into a one armed hug
"How are you?"
"Good. Thanks for coming."
"No problem."
"Come on Alexei! I'm hungry."
"I don't get a hug."
"No. I hugged you enough when we were kids." Randy hit him
"Hug your brother."
Tampa: 4 pm
"Hi John!"
"Hey baby." John said smiling at Cody's perpetually good mood. "How was your day?"
"Pretty good. My classes passed the quiz I gave them the other day."
"That's great."
"Yea, it either means I'm a good teacher or they all managed to cheat without me noticing." John laughed
"I'm sure it's because you're a good teacher."
"How come you're home? Did you spend the day with Ran?"
"No. Randy's not here." John and Randy had decided not to tell Cody about him leaving beforehand. John was faced with the task now
"Where is he?"
"Utah."
"What?! What's he doing there John?! Did you make him go?!"
"What? Why would I make him go to Utah? Steven went to rehab and Randy's visiting him. Why are you crying?"
"Because...how come no one told me? About Steven or about Ran leaving. How long will he be gone?"
"Well your reaction to things is hard to gauge sometimes so we just didn't tell you. Randy will be back in two days."
"Is it because I get so emotional?"
"Yes." John said bluntly. "You just started crying."
"I can't help it."
"We get that and that's why we didn't tell you. Save your tears for something important."
"I have plenty." Cody said wiping his nose
"I assumed as much. You've cried the entire three years I've known you." Cody playfully slapped John's arm
"I haven't and you haven't known me for three years yet."
"Close enough." John said pulling Cody toward him
"What are you doing?"
"Pulling you closer so I can get my kiss that you didn't give me when you walked in."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Just kiss me now and I'll forget all about it." Cody removed his shoulder bag then pursed his lips and kissed John deeply
"How's that?"
"I don't know. I think I need a few more to really get a feel for it." Cody smiled and kissed John again. Their kissing turned into a full make out session until Cody heard the front door slam and pulled away from John
"Does Evy know?"
"Does he know what?"
"That Ran is gone."
"Yes."
"Great. So everyone knew but me?"
"Not everyone. I'm sure the neighbors have no clue."
"Hey guys." Evan said walking into the kitchen
"Oh Ev," Cody said walking over and hugging him
"What are you doing?" The man questioned as he hugged his friend back
"John just told me that Ran is going to be gone for two days. Are you going to be okay? You can still sleep in bed with me and John." Evan laughed
"Thank you Codes but I'll be fine. Randy told me last week and we talked about it. I'm sure you and J have some, uh, things to do as well so I'm going to stay in my room." Evan said as he reached into his pocket
Papi Chulo: how was your day?
Puppy: good. Looking forward to show-and-tell tomorrow. A few of the kids said that they're bringing pets...pets are not allowed
Papi Chulo: lol
Puppy: and an uncle
Papi Chulo: an uncle?
Puppy: one of the kids said that he's bringing his uncle
Papi Chulo: what?!
Puppy: uh-huh. Should be interesting
Papi Chulo: I'll say
Puppy: how's Steven?
Papi Chulo: good. He looks better
Puppy: thus making the world a better place
Papi Chulo: I'm telling him you said that
Puppy: be my guest
"Is that Randy?"
"Yea."
"He's got your schedule down." Evan laughed
"It would appear so. No sneaking around for me."
Papi Chulo: he says you're hilarious and that you have good taste
Evan laughed and clicked on the picture Randy sent with his message
Puppy: I'll be sure to use that later when I'm alone
Papi Chulo: you better not
Randy said referring to the picture he'd just sent of Steven smiling
Puppy: you'd never know. As a matter of fact I have something I need to do. We can talk later
Papi Chulo: Puppy!
Puppy: nope. Doesn't have the same effect when you're not here. Gotta go!
Papi Chulo: if you stop responding to my texts you're going to be in trouble when I get back
Evan just laughed and ignored the message
Papi Chulo: Evan!
"Are you ignoring him?"
"Yes."
"Did you get in a fight that quickly?" Evan laughed
"No. He told me that Steven looks better and I said he was making the world a better place. Randy told Steven then sent me a picture and I said I'd use it later when I was alone,"
"I'm sure he liked that."
"Oh it got better. I said I had something to do and that we'd talk later and now I'm ignoring him so I'm sure I'll be in some sort of trouble when he gets back."
"You're always in trouble for something."
"It's so easy to get a rise out of him that I can't help it." Evan sighed as he checked his phone. "Now he's calling me."
"You should probably answer it."
"Should I?"
"Yes...even if it's just for my and Cody's entertainment." Evan smiled
"I was almost there and you just interrupted me." John and Cody held in the laughter
"Oh really?"
"Yes but if you want talk dirty to finish me off,"
"I am not,"
"Relax Randy. I can hear the agitation in your voice."
"You're agitating me by implying that you're going to jerk off to a picture of my ex."
"Oh my God, just stop. I'm standing in the kitchen with J and Cody." Randy cleared his throat. "You're so cute."
"Don't call me cute."
"I can call you what I want while you're not here."
"You are going to be in so much trouble when I get back."
"I figured I would be. Do you want to talk to someone else?"
"Don't change the subject."
"Already did. Yes or no?"
"So much trouble." Randy mumbled making Evan laugh. "This is my fault though. I should have taught you better before going away without you."
"You can school me later."
"I can't talk to you anymore. I'm hanging up."
"Bye."
"Bye Puppy."
"Is he not going to talk to us?" Cody whined
"I don't know what he's doing. I've "agitated" him and he can't talk to me anymore."
"Evy," Cody started. "Don't make him mad."
"He's not mad. He's agitated. I'm going to change." Evan said leaving the kitchen
"What if Ran breaks up with him?"
"Randy is not going to break up with him." John said picking up his phone. "Hello."
"Hey John."
"Hi."
"I called Cody but he's not answering his phone so I was forced to call you."
"Oh well that sucks."
"I know."
"Shut up Randy. Where's your phone Cody? Randy tried calling you." Cody patted his pockets then checked his bag
"I don't know."
"Did you lose your phone?"
"I hope not."
"Well is it in your car?"
"Could be."
"Here," John said handing his phone over. "Talk to Randy." He said standing up
"Hello Ran."
"Hello Ran? What's the matter with you?"
"I'm not very happy with you at the moment."
"Why?"
"Oh, um, because you didn't tell me that you were leaving maybe."
"Did you cry when John told you?"
"...yes."
"That's why I didn't tell you."
"Well I eventually stopped."
"I never want to see you cry even if you stop eventually. I'll be back in two days."
"What about dinner?" Cody looked around then lowered his voice. "You know John can't cook." Randy laughed
"You won't starve in my absence. Worst case scenario is you eat barbeque until I come back because John only knows how to work the grill."
"I love barbeque though."
"So what's the problem?"
"Hmm...I guess there isn't one."
"How was work baby?"
"Good. My classes passed a quiz I gave."
"From the other day? Every class passed it?"
"Yes and yes."
"A sure sign that you're a fantastic teacher Codes."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Oh tell Steven I said hi."
"Do you want to talk to him?"
"No Ran!" Cody said harshly making Randy laugh. "John would probably get mad or something."
"I think you're just too shy to talk to him. He's doesn't bite unless you want him to."
"I do feel a little shy."
"Hello?" Cody gasped at the voice
"Hi." He said quietly and Steven laughed
"How are you Cody?"
"Good."
"I stayed at your house for days so you don't have to be so shy now."
"I can't help it."
"Okay."
"I hope you get better." He blurted out. "Sorry...was that wrong?"
"No. It wasn't wrong. Thank you. I hope I get better too. I'm going to put Randy back on okay?"
"Yea."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"Codes?"
"He even sounds cute on the phone." Randy laughed
"You better stop talking like that. Where's John?"
"I don't know. I think he went to look for my phone. Oh! That's where I left it."
"In your car?"
"Yea. I was talking to Phil on my way home and my battery started to die so I plugged it in."
"Cody." John waved the phone
"My hero." He said taking the phone from him
"Did he find it?"
"Yes."
"Kinda hard to miss a white iPhone with a glittery case on it."
"It's not glitter!" John laughed knowing that Randy was giving Cody shit again about his phone case
"If it sparkles then its glitter."
"Some of your shirts have,"
"We're not talking about me kid."
"Can you come back tomorrow instead of the next day?"
"No. It's only two days and you have John there. Ev's alone."
"He has us too."
"Not when it comes to certain things."
"Ooh...I'll throw a little action his way." Randy laughed
"You leave him be."
"I'm just saying."
"I understand. Hey I have to go. Steven's ceremony is in a little bit."
"Okay."
"I love you." Cody smiled at the tone Randy only used when no one else was around
"I love you too."
"Tell John for me okay?"
"Okay."
"Bye."
"Bye Ran. Ran said that he loves you."
"Wish I could have heard it myself."
"He hung up so you can't. Steven has a ceremony or something soon."
"Oh yea."
"What are we going to do about dinner John?"
"Looks like we'll be going out to eat for two days unless you want to cook."
"Ew, no."
"You'd make a terrible housewife."
"I would not. If I had to I'd learn to cook but you don't make me so that's that." John looked at the younger man and Cody smiled
"I guess I should stop having Randy cook then. He can go back to work and you'll take over." Cody's smile dropped
"Let's not get drastic here baby. You know how much Ran loves to cook and we don't want to take that away from him." John eyed him. "Can Evy come with us?"
"Of course he can. Let's go change our clothes."
"But you don't have to change."
"I guess what I meant to say was go change your clothes so I can watch...and maybe my clothes will come off too." Cody giggled
Utah
Randy and Alexei were in the back of the room watching the other patients of the center receive their 30-day program chips
"Is this really necessary?" Alexei whispered
"What?"
"All this? I feel like I'm at the graduation of some backwoods hick high school where only 10 kids graduated." Randy covered his mouth to stop laughing. "This is some The Hills Have Eyes inbred shit."
"Alexei shut up."
"I'm only saying."
Mr. Steven Abreu,"
"Yes?"
"Your chip."
"Thank you."
"And we would also like to know if you're staying for more treatment."
"Yes I will be staying...probably for another 60 days."
"That's a very responsible decision."
"I'm a responsible guy if you don't count my abuse of prescription and other illegal drugs."
"This is a judgment free zone. What's important is that you're here now."
"I agree."
"He's such a smartass." Randy whispered
"I know but the girls here love him." Randy scoffed
"Just what he needs."
"A little attention's not going to hurt him Rand. Don't be jealous."
"I'm nothing of the sort." Alexei nodded
"Right." Randy eyed him
...
"When are you guys leaving?" Steven asked handing the chip to his brother
"The day after tomorrow."
"You're letting me have this?"
"Yes. Consider it a little souvenir for your visit to Utah."
"I'll turn it into a magnet and stick it on my fridge."
"Do not put that on your fridge."
"My house so I'll do what I want."
"Do you want me to smack you?"
"Do they offer anger management here too?"
"That's enough out of you both."
"Will you have time for a session tomorrow?"
"Me?"
"Yes you handsome."
"What else would I be doing? I'm here for you Steven." Steven smiled
"You come too Alex. I'm sure I owe you a few apologies."
"You don't have to."
"I need to."
"I'll be here then." Steven nodded
"Come on, I'll show you guys around before you have to leave."
...
"Evan?" John called knocking on the man's partially closed door
"Come in J."
"Would you like to have dinner with us? Cody wants to eat outside so we're going to Café Dufrain."
"Sure...if you don't mind." John looked at Evan
"Of course I don't mind. You're a part of this fucked up family too whether you like it or not." Evan laughed
"Well when you put it like that."
"We're leaving as soon as Cody finds the "perfect lightweight jacket or sweater" for the slight breeze."
"So we could be here all night."
"No. I'll eventually drag him out of the room."
"I'm here!" Cody announced popping up
"Nice sweater." He looked down
"What's wrong with it? Should I change?"
"No Cody. I just told you it was nice so why would you change?"
"I don't know. Are you eating with us?"
"Yes."
"Oh yay. Let's go. I'm almost starving." Almost starving? John and Evan thought. The three men went down to the garage and hopped in John's SUV and headed to the restaurant
"Would you let me drive this?"
"No."
"Why not?" John looked at Cody. "I drive better now! I haven't had an accident since you bought my Audi!"
"You need to bring your voice down a few octaves."
"Ran's allowed to drive it."
"So what? You have your own car and Randy only drives this when he needs to. When would you need to drive my car?" Cody shrugged
"I don't know."
"Cody stop it."
"Not even around the neighborhood?"
"Cody Garrett."
"I'll stop now."
"Thank you. You're not going to be rewarded for doing what you're supposed to do like not get into car accidents."
Next Day
"Is this part of the healing process?"
"What?"
"Going to these sessions. I don't think Steven owes me an apology for anything."
"It is part of the process and I'm sure he does owe you at least one."
"But we're brothers so it's water under the bridge." Randy shook his head
"That's been the excuse for everything all this time. Just because the two of you are brothers doesn't give him the right to treat you any old way and he's knows that or else he wouldn't be extending an apology your way." Alexei shrugged
"It just seems weird to me."
"He needs to do it to heal."
"Okay."
"Can we get out of the car now? We're going to be late." Alexei laughed
"We can go."
Therapy Session
"Alexei,"
"Yea?"
"You're my little brother and I'm supposed to look after you and because of my addiction our roles were reversed."
"We're blood Steven. I've never held any of that against you." Steven shook his head
"And I love you more for it but I never should have put you in that position. I'm almost 30 years old and I've been selfish my entire life. I don't know if you remember the time I was high and got us into that huge fight," Alexei laughed
"Hell yea I remember that. You left with a scratch and I had a broken orbital bone and nose."
"Yea, that never should have happened and you told me to walk away but I didn't...mainly because I didn't give a shit about what happened and I knew that you, being my brother, would have my back whether I'm right or wrong."
"That's true."
"Do you understand what Steven is telling you Alexei?" The therapist asked speaking up
"I guess I do but above all else he is my brother and I'm going to love him regardless. Randy explained to me why this has to happen and I'm on board I just," He shrugged. "I don't know. I don't see the need for it. I've never harbored any ill feelings toward him."
"His behavior made you sick too."
"What? I don't use drugs."
"That's not what I mean. His behavior has numbed you. No one can tell you how to feel but what he's done to you should affect you more than it has or that you claim it has. I don't think you realize how poorly Steven has treated you." Alexei sat there chewing his lip
"I'm sorry Alex." Alexei nodded
"We're just getting things out in the open right now so we have to move on to Randy but I'd like to spend more time with the two of you. Are you open to that Alexei?"
"Of course."
"Wonderful. Now," Steven groaned. "Why the groan?"
"We're moving on to Randy now aren't we?"
"Yes. Do you not want to?"
"Not really, no but I know that I have to."
"Go on then."
"Randy," Steven sighed and Alexei looked around. He had no idea what was going on right now. "You and I are going to need more sessions too because I don't think we have enough time for the apology I owe you."
"I can come back. That's no problem." Steven laughed
"I'm so sorry for what I did to you." Randy nodded
"Say what it is that you did Steven although you don't want to."
"For introducing you to prescription drugs?"
"There's that but you know that's not what I mean."
"For all the times that I hit you."
"You what?!" Alexei shouted
"You didn't know?" He looked at the therapist like she was stupid
"No I didn't know that. Dude, what the fuck?"
"I can't do this with him yelling like that."
"Quiet down or you have to leave Alexei." Alexei turned his chair slightly away from Steven's. "What are you feeling Alexei?"
"I don't want to talk about what I'm feeling right now. Move on with the rest of this."
"Steven."
"So yea, I'm sorry for doing that but there's something else." Randy's eyes narrowed
"What else is there?"
"Being high isn't an excuse and I know that I told you I was high when I did it and a lot of the times I was but sometimes I wasn't."
"Randy?"
"What?"
"What do you have to say?"
"I'm not surprised and I guess a part of me, once I was sober, kinda figured that there was no way he was that high all the time. Hearing the confession though has me in a weird place right now." Alexei stood up
"I need a cigarette or 67. Excuse me." They all watched as he basically stormed out of the room
"Go on Steven."
"Like the first time I did,"
"That night we went back to your place after that shit party you dragged me to."
"You remember?"
"You don't really forget someone you trust beating the hell out of you then holding you like a hostage." Steven cringed
"I guess not. Anyway, I saw you talking to some guy at the party and even to this day I don't know why it made me so mad and then hearing you talk about it in the car on the way home I became infuriated. We got to my place and you cleaned out your pockets...you had his number – I lost it."
"You lost it is an understatement. Three cracked ribs from you kicking me isn't covered under "lost it" in my book. And then not letting me leave or call for help...yea that's way beyond lost it."
"But he eventually let you go?"
"Eventually yes but only because I was complaining about not being able to breathe. I concocted a story once we got to the hospital about getting into an accident on my motorcycle. When they didn't believe me, because they didn't, I said I'd waited so late for help because I didn't think it was that bad until my breathing was messed up."
"How come you stayed with Steven?"
"Technically I didn't. It was one of the times I broke up with him."
"You went back."
"I did. I was in love with him at the time and on drugs so getting back together made sense in my head. Only now do I understand the phrase 'it's called a break-up because it's broken.'"
"I'm going to need more work with you two as well. Are you up for coming back Randy?"
"Yes. This is a part of healing and its dredged up things I didn't necessarily want to remember but it's going to help me too."
"I'm glad to hear that."
"Thanks Randy."
"You're welcome."
...
"I want to go." Alexei said as soon as he saw Randy. "I don't care if we have to sit next to the bathrooms on a commercial flight. I need to get out of here."
"Not that I'm against leaving but what's the matter with you?"
"He fucking hit you Randy. How are you okay with that?"
"I'm not okay with it and I'd really like to go home myself and be with people who haven't hit me but this is for Steven."
"He hit you."
"I got that."
"On more than one occasion."
"Yep." Alexei lit another cigarette
"Should one of us call the airport first to see what they have available?" Randy shook his head
"I'll call the flight crew and ask them to get the plane ready. If we fly out now on a commercial flight and John gets wind that I wasn't there to catch his plane home he'll be out here in the blink of an eye ready to kill someone." Alexei nodded and looked at Randy
"Yea, John is definitely better for you than my brother."
"Visiting hours are over fairly soon so we need to say bye and tell him that we're leaving."
"I don't really want to go in there."
"Tough. I'm telling you you're going in there and saying bye to him."
Tampa: 2:30 am
Randy crept into the house once the airport shuttle dropped him off in at the end of the driveway. He quietly walked up the stairs, went to a guest room and took a hot, hot shower. The man barely dried off before crawling into the bed and pulling the blankets over his head. In the bedroom John awoke with a start. He looked over and saw Cody sprawled out and Evan sleeping much more peacefully. Swinging his legs over the bed he stood up, left the room and went down the hall. When John made it to the door that had been open when he went to bed he knocked softly then opened it without invitation
"Randy?"
"What?"
"What are you doing home? You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."
"Alexei and I were both ready to leave so we left."
"Huh? Baby what happened?" John asked slipping in bed behind the other man and wrapping an arm around him
"Some stuff was brought up in therapy and...I don't know. I needed to come home."
"Was it about,"
"I don't want to talk about it right now John. Just hold me okay?"
"Okay." Randy yawned. John thought the yawn sounded exhausted
"I love you John."
"I love you too." John said kissing Randy's shoulder. "You sound so tired so get some rest. I'll stay home with you tomorrow if you want."
"I do."
"Then I will."
Next Morning
John woke up and looked down and Randy who was still asleep and sporting a frown on his face. He wasn't sure what had happened in Utah but it didn't make him like Steven. In fact it made him dislike him even more. John slipped out of the bed, walked down to the bedroom and saw both Cody and Evan still asleep. He pulled the sheets back and climbed into bed. A few minutes later Cody's alarm went off and he rolled over and into John's arms
"Morning baby."
"Good morning."
"I really don't want to get up."
"You never want to get up."
"But it's really hard to get up on Friday mornings."
"Why? You only have what, 10 hours before your weekend starts? Seems to me like it would be the best and easiest day to get up and go to work."
"Yea, well you're wrong." John laughed
"You're getting a little sassier and while some of it is funny don't get out of control." Cody propped himself up on an elbow
"How come Ran can say what he wants to you but when I say anything I'm always in trouble?"
"Both of you can say what you want but there's only so much I'll take before I shut you up."
"But he can say more."
"Randy has always been that way but even he knows when to say when. I'm not sure if you know and I feel like if I give you an inch you'll take a fucking mile."
"You don't know that John."
"You're right and I really don't want to find out."
"That's not fair."
"Such is life." They looked over to the other side of the bed when Evan laughed. "Good morning Evan."
"Morning J."
"Does any of this sound fair to you Ev?"
"My opinion matters naught. You guys need to work this out...well it sounds like it has been just not to your satisfaction." Evan said getting out of bed
"I'm never satisfied."
"Excuse me?" John said looking at Cody
"Aw shit...I'm out of here." Evan said quickly exiting the room
"Did you just say that you were never satisfied? What the fuck does that mean?"
"Well I didn't mean that like, I'm never satisfied or that I'm unhappy...just that you treat me and Ran different and sometimes I don't think it's fair."
"You and Randy are two different people. I cater to you and your every whim and I'm not that way with Randy. Would you rather it be that way because I'll make it that way? The next time you want something don't ask me for it just go buy it yourself like Randy would, okay?"
"John no, that's not what I meant," John put his hand up
"I'm going to stop you right there. See how you're whining right now? Randy wouldn't do that and this is a prime example of why I treat the two of you differently. Randy doesn't treat me, you or Evan the same."
"I,"
"Go get your shower so you can start getting ready for work. I don't want to continue this conversation with you or else I'm going to get really mad." Cody rolled over and went to the bathroom. John sighed and rubbed his face. This is not what he needed right now. He stood up and stripped the bed of its sheets then left for the laundry room
...
After Evan and Cody left for work John had gone back up to the bedroom to put clean sheets on the bed. When he went back downstairs to start the laundry he saw Randy in the kitchen
"What are you doing in here?"
"Cleaning."
"I cleaned up after Cody and Evan ate." Randy lifted the toaster
"See this? Crumbs...I can piece together more toast with these for myself."
"It is not that bad."
"Just let me clean okay?"
"Fine. Do you want the sheets in the guest room changed?"
"If you want to."
"I'll just change them so you don't go behind me and change them anyway." Randy laughed. He would have done exactly that. While John was tending to that Randy cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. He cleaned then polished every appliance, wiped down every surface then washed the floor, getting on his hands and knees to dry it. It was exhausting work but exhausted is what Randy wanted to feel so he didn't feel anything else
"Tell me what's bothering you." John said stepping into the shower with Randy
"I never had the chance to heal my relationship with Steven while I was in rehab. We weren't really talking at the time I went and I was more concerned with hurting you and the people close to me. He brought up the stuff that happened between us during his session and it just took me back...it's like I was transported to that time and I felt helpless again."
"Is he apologizing for it?"
"Yes but it," Randy shook his head and sat on the shower bench. "The therapist told him to specify what he was sorry for and he mentioned introducing me to prescription drugs and as soon as he said that I was there again. In his bedroom, kissing him...I could taste the Percodan's that he slipped into my mouth with his tongue. I relived the firsts with him and none of the good ones. The first time he got me high and the first time he hit me, which as it turns out, he did because he was jealous and not high at all."
"So he hit you out of jealousy then lied and said he was high?"
"Yes. He beat the shit out of me John. I never told you that so I guess I lied by omission by just saying he hit me."
"I don't care about that Randy. I'm sure that's difficult to talk about."
"It's not as difficult as you'd think. I mean, he kicked my ass...cracked three of my ribs and didn't let me call or leave for help until hours later." Randy shrugged
"Stop being so nonchalant about it Randy. No one should ever be treated that way."
"Don't you think I know that John? Me being nonchalant about it is a defense mechanism. If I think about it and allow myself to get as angry as I should be I'm going to go to a dark place. When I went back to him slipping that Percodan in my mouth I realized that I missed the taste and how it made me feel." John couldn't take hearing about someone putting their hands on the man he loved and it scared him even more to hear that same man say that he missed something so bad for him
"Maybe you shouldn't see Steven anymore."
"See that's the thing: I want him to be better and I want to help him and I don't even know why. Now that he's in rehab I can't just stop wanting him well...and it's not like he's going to hit or do any of those other things to me now." In all honestly, right now John wanted to strangle Randy. He sounded like an abused woman in a Lifetime movie
"Are you going back for another session?"
"Yes. I have to." Now John understood. As much as he didn't want Randy to return to Utah or ever see Steven again he knew that Randy needed to do it for himself. He needed to heal. John nodded his head in understanding
"Okay. If you need me to do something, anything you know that I'm here for you." Randy smiled
"I know John. I don't think I can love you anymore for always being there for me."
"Is there anything you want to do today?"
"Yes. A lot of nothing in bed."
"Nothing in bed?" Randy laughed
"I haven't gotten laid in two days so there might be a little something in between the nothing." John gave a relieved sigh
"Oh good. You should probably have some breakfast first."
"My kitchen is spotless so I'm not cooking."
"It's only 9:30 babe. I can have breakfast delivered."
"Shit...it's only 9:30?" John nodded
"You spent a bit of time in the kitchen scrubbing away Cinderella."
"John."
...
John smiled as he looked down at Randy who was chewing slowly and savoring each bite of food John fed to him
"You should probably sit up and eat this."
"Can I just be fat and lazy for one day please?"
"Yes."
"Thank you...now pancake me." John fed a piece of pancake to him and watched as he chewed that piece just as slowly as the others. "One more and I'm done."
"Let me know when you're ready for it." Randy swallowed then smacked his lips
"Ready." John fed him the last piece. While he chewed John took the Styrofoam container down to the kitchen and threw it away. When he came back to the room he saw Randy snuggling back under the covers
"That was delicious." He said
"I didn't make it but I'm glad you enjoyed it." John said lying next to Randy and kissing him. Randy slid his tongue into John's mouth as he deepened the kiss. "You taste like pancake." John said pulling away. Randy laughed
"I think that sounds lovely."
"It's quite lovely." He said mounting the younger man. Randy spread his legs letting John nestle between them
"Is that what's going on right now?"
"What?" John asked pressing his hips into Randy. "That?" Randy nodded. "Yes that's happening. Are you objecting?"
"I'm pretty full right now."
"You don't want to be stuffed?" Randy groaned as John rubbed their cocks together. "Hmm?"
"John," He moaned
"What babe?"
"Put it in already."
"Are you sure?" John asked still rubbing their erections together. Randy lifted his hips. "I'll take that as a yes." He said reaching over to get lube from a drawer
"You don't have to use that."
"I don't want to hurt you Randy." John liberally coating Randy and himself before pushing inside slowly. "Are you okay?" He asked looking down at the man who was biting his lip
"Yea, I think so."
"You think so?"
"Well you haven't done anything." Randy snapped
"Don't snap at me." John said pulling the man closer as he began to move his hips. Randy immediately reached out and grasped John's wrist
"Oh shit John."
"I'm touching it, I know." He said smirking and moving faster. Randy rolled his hips with John's and gasped at the wonderful feeling he created when he did so. "Can you let me control this?"
"No." He said smirking. John pushed Randy's arms above his head and laced their fingers together as he leaned forward effectively stopping Randy from taking charge of anything. "I hate you."
"Do you?" He asked as he hit Randy with short and hard thrusts. Randy gripped John's hands tighter as his legs wrapped around John's waist just as tight driving him deeper. Not wanting Randy to have any control John released their hands and attempted to remove Randy's long legs but the move gave the other man the momentum he needed and he flipped them both over. Randy smirked when he looked down at John. "Randy,"
"Don't talk John. Just let me do this." He said riding him hard. John thrust upward quickly and Randy met the thrusts with downward movements of his own. John was on the verge so he reached out and started to fist the man's cock. "Faster baby, faster." John tugged faster encouraged by Randy's moans and profanities. He turned his head to the side as Randy convulsed on top of him and his cum landed on the pillow. "Don't stop...cum for me. I want to feel it." John closed his eyes moving languidly until he felt the familiar tingle in his belly then he picked up the pace and shot his load deep inside Randy with a grunt
"Fuck..." He said opening his eyes
"Are you alright Big Daddy?" John laughed and nodded his head. "Another shower and back in bed until lunchtime?" John was only able to nod again
...
Randy reached for his phone when he heard it vibrate
Puppy: will you be home when I get off work? I miss you
He smiled as he read the text. Evan wasn't one to really express his feelings
Papi Chulo: I'm home right now. I was here when you left for work actually
Puppy: what?! Why didn't you say good morning or something?!
Papi Chulo: stop text yelling. I was asleep when you guys left anyway
Puppy: how come you didn't sleep in bed with us?
Papi Chulo: I got in really late or early depending on how you look at it and I had a lot on my mind
Puppy: are you okay? You left early didn't you? You weren't supposed to be back until this afternoon
Papi Chulo: I'm getting there and yes I did leave early
Puppy: what did Steven do because I know it has something to do with him?
Papi Chulo: he brought up some stuff and it really messed with my head
"Is that Cody or Evan?"
"Ev."
"Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't want to but probably."
"You don't have to."
"Yes I do."
"Look, I'm not trying to be in your relationship with him but I hope you don't feel obligated to tell Evan everything."
"It just makes me feel better not keeping secrets from people."
"Well if it makes you feel better then by all means but if you feel an obligation,"
"I don't."
"Okay."
Puppy: there's a lot I don't know about isn't there?
Papi Chulo: yes
Puppy: and I probably don't want to know do I?
Papi Chulo: probably not
Puppy: I don't like Steven anymore
Papi Chulo: you don't even know what happened
Puppy: Randy – I'm sure whatever you tell me will just validate my feelings
Papi Chulo: you're right
Puppy: what did John say?
Papi Chulo: he already knew about Steven and my problems
Puppy: what did he do? I feel like we're talking in circles
Papi Chulo: you want me to tell you now?
Puppy: yes. I'm on my break
Papi Chulo: John knew that he'd hit me before but he admitted that the first time he wasn't high like he claimed he was
Puppy: excuse me? He hit you? How is he still alive right now?
Papi Chulo: we used to hit each other
Puppy: bullshit. You did it out of self-defense, I know it. Don't make it seem like you guys were just beating each other for the hell of it. You're crazy but you're not that fucking crazy
Papi Chulo: you're right
Puppy: I'll tolerate him because he's your friend and you want to help him but I'm not happy about any of this and if I haul off and punch the shit out of him one day don't look surprised
Papi Chulo: I'll keep my face impassive
Puppy: I swear that your heart is bigger than your brain sometimes. I'll see your crazy ass when I get home
Papi Chulo: okay
"Why are you smiling like that? Not that I mind seeing your teeth." Randy handed John his phone as he cuddled up to him. He scanned the conversation and nodded his head. "He's right...and pretty feisty."
"He is the same person who backhanded Cody." John started to laugh
"Oh my God...that was so funny but I couldn't laugh at the time."
"It was. If I'd seen it coming I would have stopped him of course but he's quick." John laughed as he looked at his buzzing phone. "Do you need to answer that?"
"No. If it's important they'll leave a message or text." Randy nodded
"What are we watching?" He asked taking the remote from John and checking the guide
"I have no clue." John mumbled grabbing his phone
Teddy: I was only calling to say thanks for paying off the house
Johnny: you're welcome. It was the very least I could do
Teddy: you're right
Johnny: did you call me last week to thank me as well?
Teddy: well no
Johnny: so?
Teddy: I wanted to talk to you
Johnny: that's probably not a good idea
Teddy: you're the last person to tell me about good ideas John
Johnny: like I said, not a good idea
Teddy: we'll see
John put his phone back on the night table
"Everything okay?"
"Yea." John said caressing Randy's back
TBC
Happy Memorial Day Everyone!
