AN.. Thank you to all who have been reading, reviewing,
favoriting, and alerting this story! I am so excited. My hubby
thinks I am nuts every time I open my email and "Squee" aloud.
I hope this chapter is liked… it is ALOT different than the last, but
I figure Jake and Bella have history, and a real foundation for a
relationship already, whereas Edward and Leah have SO much
to learn yet. Anyhow.. I hope you like!
As always.. SM owns everything…
~UUaCP~
Chapter 12
Quoting Disney and Scripture…?
Leah POV
We decided to walk together to the house. We were enjoying each other's company so much that we walked at a pace that was close to human. We shot questions back and forth rapid-fire, learning so much along the way. He joked with me, and made me laugh so hard I thought I would pee myself. Maybe that's just because it has been so long since I allowed myself to feel anything but anger and bitterness. I was so happy the last few days that I didn't even recognize myself. I don't think that I was this giddy before my heart was broken. I wasn't sure if I liked this version of me. She is far too vulnerable.
Edward started laughing. He had heard what I was thinking, and thought it was hilarious. I could not figure out why.
"What's so funny about it, Eddie?" I spat.
"Oh, just thinking of you as vulnerable." He was holding his side, still in hysterics. "I know damn well that if I said something to piss you off, you would NOT hesitate to tear off a limb. Especially knowing that I could reattach it." His laughter began to subside, and he grew thoughtful.
"Leah, the 'mean' version of yourself is just a façade. You know that, right? I mean, it's not like you can't handle yourself when it comes to a fight, but in your heart of hearts, you are a lover, not a fighter. The wolf in you can be hostile, and vicious, but the Leah that I have sifted through the last few days is actually thoughtful, and gentle and kind."
"Shut it, Mr. Vegan Vampire." I poked him in the chest. "I have a rep, and I intend to uphold it."
He grabbed my hand, and kissed the back of my fingers with a grin on his face, then turned his mouth into a frown of mock contrition. "I'm sorry, my dear Cruella." He fell to his knees, still holding my hand. "I would never out you to the world. You will forever have ice in your stare! Those poor innocent children had better be aware.."
I fell to the ground in hysterics. Who would have thought that a vampire would start quoting from Disney? As I lay there laughing, Edward started singing the lyrics, and I could not stop the laughter that bubbled it's way to the surface.
See, this is the beauty that I have found! I love this side of you.
My eyes widened as I replayed what he had just said over and over in my head. The laugher ceased, and my heart stuttered in my chest. I stared unbelieving into his topaz eyes. He, too had fallen suddenly still. He blinked once, his eyes as wide as mine. The tension in the air was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. I had not expected to hear that word from his lips. Not really ever, but seriously… not this soon!
The shock on his face made me realize that he hadn't really meant it; not that he didn't mean to say it, but that he didn't mean it at all. We were not far from his house when this took place. We were close enough for me to smell the concentrated scent of the family, and I could hear Emmett's laughter in the distance. I winced slightly as I felt my heart recoil. I could feel the wall of bitterness slam back into place, and the familiar hardness seeping into my blood. I turned cold.
Before it really registered to me what I was doing, I phased. I phased right in front of Edward, and in the bitterness of the moment, all I could see was a vampire. I crouched low to the ground, my lips turned up into a snarl. I tried so hard to shield my mind from him. He had hurt me, and even though I knew he didn't mean to, even though I knew that I was reacting too quickly for him to have formulated a coherent sentence to explain, I was angry. In my wolf form, I felt stronger, and more able to defend my heart.
He sat there in front of me, refusing to take a defensive posture. He shook his head, and his eyes looked genuinely sorrowful, almost like tears would be falling if it were possible.
"Please." His voice croaked. "Don't do this. Don't ruin us before we are even an 'us'."
The wolf didn't want to listen, and began to growl, but the part of me that had imprinted listened intently. I felt like I was locked in a battle with myself… for my very soul. The wolf that saw vampires only as enemies was poised to attack, whereas the wolf that imprinted on Edward was ready to cower in a submissive position on it's back. The human in me beheld the face and eyes of the vampire in front of me, and saw a man.
It all took place over a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I fell to the ground in front of him for the second time in as many days, naked in my human form. Once again, I was weeping. I was so tired of being emotionally raw in front of Edward. I wanted to be strong, and confident. Anger had made me feel confident, but Edward was right, it was just a façade.
Edward took his shirt off, and draped it over my shoulders before picking me up gently, and carrying me into his house. He ran me quickly into his room, and deposited me on a large black leather sofa. He kissed my forehead gently, telling me he would be right back. I heard the door click behind him. I sat up, frantically buttoning the shirt up, and trying to cover myself. I wiped at my eyes, willing the tears to stop falling as I attempted to pull myself together.
Again I found myself thinking how much I hated this weak person I had suddenly become. At least the angry Leah commanded respect. All Edward could possibly feel for me was pity. I hate being pitied. I didn't want or need it from anyone, much less a bloodsucking leech.
I heard that. He chuckled in my head. And I don't fell pity for you, I feel much more deeply than pity allows.
I sighed deeply, and lied back into the soft leather, closing my eyes. I wanted sleep to take me before I had to think again. I wasn't so lucky. There was a knock on the door as Esme let herself into the room, carrying some clothes. She sat beside me wordlessly, but reached out to touch me gently. She had a soft, motherly look on her face as she smoothed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ears. I tried to be annoyed at the presumption, but I couldn't be. It was like she sent off these "Mom" vibes. I could not help but feel comforted.
"Alice is doomed." She said with a soft laugh, much to my confusion.
"Huh?"
"She wants to hate you so badly, but when she sees the hope, and trust I just saw in your eyes, she will be a goner. She is going to love you as much as she loves Bella. I don't have to have a 'gift' to know this."
"I wish I knew what Edward meant earlier, what Alice saw."
"She saw you as a part of the family." Esme cooed.
"Yeah, I bet that just thrilled her." What can I say, sarcasm becomes me.
Esme laughed, shaking her head. "Like you wouldn't believe."
"The part I don't understand is where she can't see wolves. How can she see me?"
"Carlisle and Edward have been mulling this over. All they have are some pretty shaky theories." She stood up while she was speaking, holding out an emerald green pair of soft, brushed satin pajama shorts, and a matching spaghetti strapped tank. "You should get dressed before Edward returns." She leaned down and place a soft kiss atop my head before leaving the room.
I didn't know what to think of everything that had transpired in the last hour. I felt as lost and bewildered as I had over making the imprint in the first place. What was it that I had called this situation? Oh, that's right… FUCKED UP. Yeah… that about covers it!
I could hear Edward sniggering as he approached the door. He stopped and knocked before entering.
Are you decent yet?
Gimme a second. I answered silently to his wordless query. I finished slipping the tank over my head, and plopped back onto the sofa before calling him into the room. You can come in now. Why exactly are we using telepathy?
Well, I guess because it is really awesome that someone can hear me? he questioned instead of answering. That, and it is nice to have some privacy, don't you think?
I guess I am not used to thinking of someone hearing my thoughts as privacy. It's not like I don't have a little bit of experience with such things, but I guess in this case; you are right, it is a bit more private.
Edward chuckled, and pulled me against his chest.
What's with all the touching? You are so touchy-feely.
You want me to stop?
I didn't say that.
He erupted into a boisterous laugh that shook the whole sofa.
"You are such a dichotomy."
What? Now we are speaking out loud? Whatever happened to our privacy? I ribbed him.
He wrapped his arms tightly around my torso, and rested his chin on top of my head. I turned my head to the side, and leaned it back so that I could look at him.
Why did you say that, and why did you react the way you did? I decided to cut out the humor, and get to the heart of the situation.
I hadn't meant to say that at this point. It kind of slipped out. The shock that you saw was me registering what it was I had just said. You repeated it in your head twice before I heard exactly what you did. I replayed the conversation in my head, trying to figure out how I meant it.
Wait, you didn't even know what you said to me, or thought to me, whatever… and what's more, you didn't know how you meant it? I fumed.
"'Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.'" Edward whispered.
"Wait, isn't that from the Bible?" I was shocked.
Yes, it is in a couple of different places in scripture. It is one of the many truths I learned from reading it.
WAIT… You're religious? A religious vampire? What the..
Edward began to laugh once again.
Not exactly religious, I wouldn't say it that way. Let's just say that I believe that there is something greater out there. I do tend to hold to more traditional "Judeo-Christian" beliefs, but I am not really religious. Yes, I believe in true goodness, so I guess it could be said that I believe in God.. likewise I believe in true evil. I have seen it for myself. So, it could be said that I believe in the devil.
I sat in silence for a bit, absorbing what he told me. I had never considered what a vampire might believe in. I had been taken to Sunday School as a child, and my mother tried to get me involved in the "youth group" functions as an early teen, but I had never really considered myself as religious either. I guess, truth be told, I hadn't stopped lately to think about what it is that I believe. I know that I stopped believing that God had a specific person intended for everyone he created on the day that I found Sam in Emily's back yard. I know that I stopped believing in answered prayers the day my dad died.
Did I really believe what Edward was insinuating? That what comes from the mouth is a reflection of what is in the heart? I don't know. I guessed in some ways it made sense.
So, you're telling me that if you said it, you must have meant it?
I'm saying that the words tumble out of my mouth without my giving them thought. It was a moment when I just said the first thing to go through my head, without any filtering. As such, yes… I really believe that I meant it. I already told you that you are loveable. I can see that clearly. My heart is drawn to you. Why else would I reach to hold you in my arms?
There was another knock at the door.
"Can I come in?" Alice asked in a small voice.
"Will you be kind?" Edward retorted.
"Will contrite suffice?" Alice stuck her head inside the door.
"Get in here."
I sat upright as she entered. Jasper followed behind her, and she clung to his hand like it was a child's security blanket. I was nervous as hell. This little bitty wisp of a vampire scared me for reasons I didn't understand. Whenever I have been scared in life, I tended to get defensive. I fought to keep my defenses at bay.
"Leah, I have to apologize to you." Alice cleared her throat. Jasper was gently rubbing the small of her back. I could feel heavy waves of artificial peace fill the room.
"I'll listen so long as your mate stops messing with the genuine vibes in the room. If you are really sorry, then you should not need him to keep things calm." I glared at Jasper. Edward started laughing once again. I turned to him, ready to pounce. "And you! What is it with you tonight? Do they make vampire cocaine? Are you high? You are laughing over everything tonight!"
Alice looked between Edward and I, watching our interaction. At first she seemed wary, but then I could almost see mischief fill her eyes as she began to giggle. She sank to the floor in a fit of near hysteria.
"Oh my God, Edward, she's perfect!" she finally pulled herself together enough to speak again.
"Wait, what do you mean I am 'Perfect'?" had everyone lost their minds, or was it just me?
"Edward needs someone who can stand up to him, and set his ass straight… But that is not why I came in here." Alice stood up, smoothing her pants, and brushing imaginary dirt off of her bottom. "I came here to say how sorry I am for judging you so harshly. I know that imprinting is not your fault. I judged you harshly. I was wrong. I don't know you, yet; and I have been entirely unfair in my assessment of your character. In all honesty, I was afraid that you had immediately sought to seduce my brother. Jasper informs me that he has not felt the slightest bit of lust emanating from you. He has sensed nothing but confusion, sadness, anger, and fear from you. I have called you things behind your back for which I am ashamed, and I am asking you for forgiveness, and a chance to get to know you." Her eyes shone earnestly.
"Of course you are forgiven, and I would very much like to get to know all of you." I said shyly.
Alice stepped towards me, clasping my hand in her own, and smiled at me.
"Thank you, Leah. I'll leave you two alone now."
Jasper smiled and nodded as they left the room, closing the door behind them.
I knew that vampire hearing was better even than werewolves, and I could hear the others milling about the house, holding quiet conversations that I could not quite make out. I decided to use this knowledge to my advantage, bringing the whole house into a fit of laughter as I spoke my mind aloud…
"Does anyone else want to come in challenge the werewolf's pre-conceived notions tonight?" Edward pulled me back against him and wrapped his arms around me as he erupted into another fit of laughter. This time I joined in again.
~UUaCP~
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