Just purely for fun... it you have time and Netflix. Chexk out the New Lost in Space. It was 10 episodes of great writing! Thanks for the reviews. PM me and if you have questions or comments. Much love...madcasmi

When you're in a Slump,

you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.

Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go

— Previously—

"Mommy?" Noah piped up

" Yeah...Noah?" Olivia yawned.

Noah was still bouncing his dinosaur up and down, he didn't miss a beat.

"Who is Elliot?"

Ok maybe 2 glasses of wine...

Olivia had heard some pretty crazy things come out of her sons mouth before...but never in a million years did she expect this question. She scooped Noah up and settled him on her lap facing her so she could look him straight into his eyes. "Noah..." were you listening to Aunt Amanda and I talk at the park this afternoon?" She carried a bit of a warning in her voice.

"Just a little Mommy" He said guiltily. "I tried not to listen" Noah was done bouncing his dinosaur and now his dinosaur was climbing up Olivia's arm.

He slowly continued

"Jessie's Daddy...is far far away... she told me." Noah wide eyed with a hushed voiced as if it was a secret and no one in the room could hear, not even his stuffed animals.

Olivia's heart started to pick up a quicker pace. She knew exactly were this conversation was going.

Noah halted his dinosaurs climb up her arm. He looked up into Olivia eyes

"Is Elliot MY Daddy?"

Olivia felt all the love and protectiveness for this child overwhelm her. In her mind she could hear the sounding of alarms, she knew these questions would one day come... but she never imagined the name Elliot would come up in the same conversation.

"Sweetie, Elliot was Mommy's partner...at work...from a long long time ago." She took a breath trying to find the right words to bring a quick comprehension to a 5 year olds mind. "It was so long ago...as a matter of fact...it was before Aunt Amanda and Uncle Sonny.

"So Noah... Elliot is not your father.

Your birth father is in heaven with your birth mother...And one day, when your bigger, I will tell you about him."

The dancing dinosaur began its descent again. Noah thought for a minute, and seemingly satisfied with her answer changed the subject to the purchase of one Goldfish.

Which Olivia happily agreed too... anything to change this subject.

2 glasses of wine did nothing to keep her thoughts from straying too the past. After checking on Noah one last time she slipped between her sheets.

Elliot was the leading man of her dreams. She dreamed that he was dead, having watched from afar as his family laid him to rest. It was a gloomy, rainy day. Everyone was dressed in black. She gripped her umbrella as her tears fell to the ground. Then just as quickly as they were lowering his coffin into the muddy hole his children had surrounded her. Taunting her, she was the reason he was dead. She was the reason for everything.

They yelled, cried and screamed at her . Then suddenly she was back with Lewis. They were playing Russian Roulette. It was time for the final bullet. She looked over at Lewis but it was Elliot. He was saying something but no sound was coming out and then the bullet pierced his scull spraying Elliot's blood all over her face and arms. She woke up soaked in sweat, her heartbeat thudding in her ears.

She told herself over and over it was a dream brought on by a triggering day. She felt utterly alone and she laid there willing for something to hold on to...Tears sliding down her face.

The next morning was no better for her, a Manic Monday of sorts. She had awoken to Lucy calling to say she was running late... half the morning late. which meant She would need to wake and dress Noah as well as prepare herself for the day. She hung up the phone rolled over on her stomach and buried her head into her pillow.

As she spit out her toothpaste into the sink and rinsed she took a long look in the mirror. Her eyes were sunken in with dark circles underneath them. a tale tell sign of her restless night. The last 7 years had definitely aged her. The worry lines. Every line can tell a story. Starting with Elliot devastating their friendship or what she thought was a friendship. Through her two different ordeals with Lewis and the most recently when her son was missing. Worry lines had sprouted across her face as reminders. Just as the reminders that Lewis had branded onto her body. Just another thing to remind her that she was a survivor.

She stands in his doorway just breathing in his little boy scent. She knows she must wake him and move him forward but for now she relishes in watching his sleeping face with his beautiful curls. She stands and stares while urging herself to remember that this moment... this very moment, as if she can pocket the memory and save it for a later time. Five will soon turn into ten and that will lead to becoming a teenager so in the meantime she will savor these small moments. She moves closer to his bed and sits next to him. She starts to lightly rub his back... "Hey Buddy...". His groggy eyes flutter open and shut. She continues to rub his back wondering if this is defeating the purpose. . "We are going to have to get you dressed... your going to have to

Come into work with Mommy for a bit. Lucy is running late." His little eyes roll back into his head. He is fighting staying awake. She's not above Bribing... come on Noah... don't you want to see Uncle Finn? With those magical words spoken His eyes pop open. "And Uncle Sonny?"

"Yes" She replies "But... just for a bit... Lucy is going to come and get you this morning"

Happy with that answer he happily bounces off his bed.

She wishes just for a millisecond that she could harness just a fraction of that energy. She helps him pick out his clothes and tries to tame is curly hair... which doesn't seem to work. She reminds herself to ask Carisi for the curly head tips... that man must had some curl as a kid. Breakfast is quick and uneventful and they make their way into work.

...

NYPD

Monday July 11 9am

Olivia walked into the precinct with Noah in tow.

"Lt". Finn calls to her.

Olivia puts up a finger, asking her to give him a second. She takes Noah into her office and sits him on her couch. She takes out his tablet and some toys. "Ok buddy... help me out here, just sit here and play with your tablet. Lucy should be here in about hour." Noah Nods already engrossed in "Paw Patrol" playing on his tablet.

She waves Finn into her office.

Is there a G rated version we can talk about Finn? Or do we need to step outside? "She asks"

No liv, it's nothing big. Do you remember a case you and Elliot were working on about 10 years ago? The perps name was Steven Marco. Finn asked Liv

"I think so... Tell me more". Olivia scrunched up her eyebrows trying to reach back into her memory.

Finn continued

"All I could get from the computer was his charges and the plea deal he made and his scentencing guidelines

"What were his charges" liv asked

"Distribution o pornography" Finn answered back spelling out child.

"Yes.. I remember now...

Elliot went undercover at his support group. We had thought he was distributing it. Turns out it was a cover for a ring. The guy skated practically free for his testimony. Elliot testified in the case, he was not happy with the outcome. He thought Marco got off way to easy.

Why 10 years later Finn? What's the interest? Olivia asked

"Marco ended up in a dumpster." He looked over a Noah briefly to make sure the boy was engrossed in his tablet.

"And he was missing his family jewels!" Finn said in a softer tone. "I caught the case this weekend, I thought the name sounded familiar. The computer was pretty useless for me". He continued

Olivia cut in "A lot of the notes are still with the case file. Like I said Elliot was the one who testified...Let me see if I can round it up the original files for you. Do you mind playing "watch the kid" for about 10 minutes" She asked

I don't mind... you know we love this kid!

Finn shot back quickly

Olivia left the office and Finn sat down next to Noah bumping his shoulder lightly with his body.

"Noah Benson...How have you been"

Noah looked up from his tablet grinning.

I'm good Uncle Finn, Mommy said Lucy is going to pick me up later. Where is Uncle Sonny? He asked

"Uncle Sonny is out right now. I will tell him you stopped by. I'm sure he's gonna be mad he missed you." Finn teased him.

I'm gonna talk to your mom about you and I getting some batting practice in!

Never to late to get ready to play for the Yankees...How about that?

Noah's eyes lit up! "That would be awesome Uncle Finn."

"Ok then" Finn said... we will make it work.

Hey...Uncle Finn? Asked Noah

"Yeah Noah..." Finn replied

Looking around Finn for the return of his mother Noah whispered quietly

"Mommy had a old partner named Elliot."

"Yep Buddy. I know. I knew Elliot.

He and I worked together a lot

He was... is one of the good guys."

"Uncle Finn?"

Another whisper came out of the boy

"He is not my Daddy... Mommy says

At that point Finn decided this was going to be the longest 10 minutes of his life.

Las Angeles , California

July 11, 2am

On a dim and eerily lighted dock, three men move white burlap sacks into the back of a van. Another man stands watching in the distance, barking orders every once in awhile. It's just after 2am and this job is progressing slower than usual. The man, obviously in charge, is becoming increasingly impatient. He has a deadline. The rain is falling harder, hindering the workers. He reminds them as time ticks by, that their rewards are becoming smaller by the minute. The workers scramble to pick up the pace. The last item is loaded in the van as the rain pelts even harder.

He pays the two workers then, jumps into the drivers seat and turns the air on full blast. A second man climbs into the van. He is small in stature, with sandy blond hair. His diminutive presence is nothing compared to the man in behind the wheel.

"Were are we heading?" The blonde man asked

With a slight hint of concern

"I don't know I'm waiting for the call...But, I CAN tell you, we're behind!" The man in the drivers seat answers

He Flushes out his ringing cell phone.

"Fretti" he answers.

He listens intently to the voice other end, then hangs up.

"Well?" The blonde man asks. "What's next?"

"We are heading to New York." Fretti forces out.

"Well it's about damn time." The blonde man exclaimed. Thumping the dash with his fist

"Yeah," Fretti answered with a sigh, "It's about damn time."

He removes his hoodie and Jacket. The humidity of the rain getting the best of him. He wipes a hand slowly down his face to remove the moisture and sweat. A lump has formed in the bottom of his throat. He's finding it hard to swallow but he pushes his doubts down, puts the van in drive and pulls away.

TBC