Garnet shifted in her mama's arms until she was in a more comfortable position but most positions were good positions. Her mama was like a big toasty oven that Garnet found to be just right. She loved being close to her mama, felt as though she could sink right into her and never leave. Dark, unwanted thoughts clawed at the back of her mind, reminding her quite nastily that only a year ago she had been deprived of it. She had been in the clutches of the Diamonds and broken and put back together over and over-
"Hey kiddo," the dark skinned woman jostled her roughly to bring her back to the present, "Don't you go back to that place."
Garnet was abruptly aware of how wet her cheeks were and carefully rubbed under her lenses but as she lowered them she was suddenly hit with a feeling of wrong. Where was her mom? Before she could open her mouth, a small chill swept over them cause her mama to shiver abruptly and clutch her just a bit tighter.
"I'm right here dear," Sapphire answered her unasked question and she was there. She was gliding gracefully just a bit behind them but Garnet was sure she wasn't there before. Actually she was very sure she hadn't been there. Garnet felt a little gnaw of something at the back of her head like she knew something.
"Where were you?"Garnet tilted her head, casually smacking her mama in the face with her fluffy afro.
"I got caught up in a vision. Such a lovely one with sun and flowers. A statue of a beautiful woman with many arms and flowing hair," Sapphire smiled gently but her gentle smile was like a full cheese on anyone else. She flew beside them and peppered Garnet's face with kisses before pulling back. "I missed you. How was school?"
"Do you mean Bean Sauce or Salt?" Garnet shot back as though she had been waiting to say that for hours (she had) and it paid off as her mom ducked her head to hide her embarrassment. While the adults had found the situation tedious, the girls had laughed and made jokes the entire walk to the right middle school. And they saw some of the city during their walk as well so it wasn't bad at all. But her mom didn't know that.
"The buildings look the same!" Her mom protested, crossing her arms in a huff.
"That's the last time Rose will let you carpool," Ruby teased, turning her head to place a light kiss on her wife's lips. Sapphire snatched her head away with a tongue click and flew ahead of them before landing delicately and storming off. Well, she wasn't really storming off. It was more that she was walking slightly faster than normal. Garnet definitely knew how this was going to unfold so she held tight to her mama's neck and laughed joyously as her mama suddenly took off after her wife. Her mom must have had the same vision for she took off as well and so the race began!
GarnityGarnGar
Dinner was burnt. It usually was when her mama cooked. It was as though her pyrokinetic powers couldn't be contained to just her and leaked into everything. But Garnet didn't mind. She always ate her food with gusto as though it was the best thing she ever had. And it was. She loved the food. She loved her mothers. She was just filled to the brim with all these emotions that she knew she needed to control and bury like her mom but couldn't help but to express like her mama.
"Okay, okay. The food is on our plates. What you gotta say, kiddo?" Ruby finally said. Like a starting pistol, Garnet was off. She could barely hear the words coming out of her own mouth but she needed to get everything out. She needed to say everything that happened and how she felt every second of the day. She was embarrassed as she picked the wrong path more than once ("Mom! I kissed Takane because in one future she asked about gestures but it was the wrong future and I kissed her and oh it was so embarrassing!") and how excited she was to work out with the boys in Body Improvement Club. She complained about her bad accent ("I've been looking so hard that I haven't had time to focus on fixing it") but praised herself on understanding and catching on quickly in her classes. She spoke of the brief encounter she had with Amethyst and Pearl and the not brief enough encounter she had with Reigen. And of course that brought her to Shigeo. Who she had purposely saved for last. She couldn't start with him because she already saw all the paths in which starting with him lead to her never getting to anything else. And she wanted to relay her entire day.
"Shigeo is… when I looked at him all I felt was warmth, filling me and surrounding me. It was so… nice. And then I started to see things, bits and pieces of beautiful places and people and… mom?" Garnet frowned and turned her eyes to her mom who was obviously livid. Although she still looked the same and had not stopped eating the temperature dropped so harshly it stole Garnet's breath.
"Sapphy, whatcha doing? You're gonna make the food cold," Ruby complained, placing her arms around her own plate to salvage it. Almost as soon as the words left her mama's mouth, Garnet felt herself sucked into the most likely future.
"You are not allowed to see that boy," her mom spoke in a calm and even tone. It was a tone Garnet herself adopted often enough. Garnet felt her world fall from out of her as she stared at the woman. Why would she say that? Didn't she hear what she just said about Shigeo?
"Ha, ha. Stop messing around Sapphy and turn up the temp," her mama chuckled. But Sapphire wasn't messing around. She was serious. Garnet frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You can't stop me from seeing him," she shrugged.
"I can. I will," Sapphire replied with a similar shrug. Garnet opened her mouth and then realized there were many things her mom could do. She could switch her school, switch her classes, get her and drop her off. She could constantly monitor every movement she made every day.
"Why can't I see him?! Why are you doing this to me?" Garnet demanded, the anger she felt rocketing in her and exploding all in the same moment. Their plates lifted from the table and their chairs from the ground. The temperature that tried to freeze them suddenly skyrocketed.
"Because he is a monster! I've seen what sort of path lays before him and it is nothing but destruction and mayhem. He will do nothing but hurt you!"
"Hurt me?! So you think you can protect me? You?! The one who let those monsters take me right out of your arms?!" Garnet spat. The chairs and plates clattered down as the teen girl realized what she had said and the effect it had on her moms. They looked like she had slapped them both.
"Garnet, why would you say that? We did not let them take you and you know that!" Ruby half whispered and half screamed. Garnet did know that. She knew that they would never just abandon her but that didn't stop the anger and hurt she felt every day. She pushed those feelings down or directed them to something else because she couldn't talk about her time with those monsters. And her moms never pushed her to. Instead they all focused in positive feelings of love and relief of being back together. But now she was exploding and wanted to go in this direction. This direction that would explain what has been plaguing her every day for a year. Every night that made their home shake at the foundation. Every afternoon when accidental fires would jump from her fingers. Every time she jumped hard enough to trip herself.
"Do I know mama? Because I remember it differently. I remember telling you, begging you to move our location. I remember visions of being captured, of being strapped down and stabbed and prodded and played with. I remember you both thinking it was just nightmares because mom couldn't see any danger ahead. But I saw it. I saw it and I told you and you both just… you let them get me," Garnet's lips trembled.
Garnet sucked in a breath as she abruptly started on another path.
"You are not allowed to see that boy," her mom spoke in a calm and even tone. It was a tone Garnet herself adopted often enough. Garnet felt her world fall from out of her as she stared at the woman. Why would she say that? Didn't she hear what she just said about Shigeo?
"Ha, ha. Stop messing around Sapphy and turn up the temp," her mama chuckled. But Sapphire wasn't messing around. She was serious. Garnet frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I am not messing around Ruby. I saw the monster that he is holding inside him. It is capable of such destruction. I saw Garnet, at his feet covered in bruises and blood. She wasn't breathing," Sapphire swallowed hard as she relayed her vision.
"You're wrong," Garnet frowned, "Shigeo is good. He's considerate. I've seen it with my own eyes. He does nothing but help us-help me."
"You have too much faith much too soon in his boy. You are too young to control your Sight," Sapphire insisted.
"I cannot control my Sight? Me? I see things all the time Mom! I see things where you cannot. I saw darkness and pain while you saw sunflowers and sun!" Garnet shouted, pushing up from her chair. She held up both her hands and faced the large red gems toward her mothers. "Did you see this mom? Did you see them strap me down and… and… did you see them shove these into me? Did you see me scream and cry?"
"Garnet that is enough!" Ruby shouted, standing up hard enough to throw back her seat.
"I don't think it is mama! What's your excuse? Mom was blinded by her visions of failure but why didn't you save me mama? You know I screamed out for you? I told them every single day that my mama was coming for me. I told Pink Diamond right to her face that she couldn't keep me because my mama loved me so, so much. Every day I said that to different monsters. For five years."
"Garnet…" Her mom's voice cracked with emotion. But she didn't care. Five years she was in that place. Five years they abused and used her. Citrines stabbed her with needles and made her do tests. Jades forced her to have vision after vision until she thought she would go blind. And the ones who bore the real cost of her visions were friends and comrades of her family. And she killed them. She killed them when she searched for their hideouts and revealed their most likely location. She killed them when she laid out the most likely battle plan and the second most likely and then the next until they were so prepared the enemy didn't stand a chance. But she never gave up her family. She made sure to always, always find something better. So many captured and turned and tortured. Garnet felt the vomit burn her insides and rush up her throat-
Garnet was sure that she was gasping as she yanked herself out of that path. No, no. She didn't want to talk about that! She-
"You are not allowed to see that boy-because I said so," her mom stated with a hard edge to her voice. It wasn't often that she used that voice. Garnet opened her mouth to speak but was cut off. This time when her mom spoke it was in a gentle, firm voice that hid the emotion that so desperately wanted to come out, "I've seen terrible things come from that boy and I… I can't lose you again Garnet."
"Sapphire…" her mama reached out to her wife.
"Shigeo would never hurt me, mom. I've seen only good things coming from him," Garnet argued passionately. Her mom couldn't do this to her. Sapphire suddenly slammed her hand on the table and if it had been cold before, it was practically freezing now.
"I will not lose you again Garnet. You will stay away from that boy or you will be locked inside this house. Choose. Wisely." Sapphire hovered over the table like a wrathful goddess. Her hair whipped around with a mysterious wind and the air began to turn into bits of ice. Garnet looked up at her mom, anger building in her chest. The anger was so hot she could feel the steam leaving her shoulders. But she could feel the betrayal like a icy knife in her chest. Her mom would lock her away. She would put her back in the dark. Was she any different than those monsters who took her away?
"Okay you two… it's time to calm down," her mama stood as well with her hands out. Garnet felt herself deflate. Of course her mom was different from those monsters. She just wanted to protect her. Whatever she saw in her vision of Shigeo must have been horrible. It must have scared her so badly. So she shouldn't see him. She would simply avoid the boy and continue with her life.
"Okay." She murmured and then sat back down. It was like nothing ever happened. She ate her food until it was gone, she kissed her mothers goodnight and she tied her hair up for bed. She slept and the next morning she did not speak to Shigeo. She sat at a different desk and paid attention to her lectures. She swatted away any communication he attempted to open and ignored anything he had to say. That would continue on day after day, week after week until Shigeo just… stopped.
Garnet was sure that this was the worst version. She was sure that the tears that flowed down her face as she willingly threw herself down a different path. Any path was better than the one where she balled all her feelings inside and let them wither. Any path was better than lying to herself to make anyone happy. She was better than-
"Mom, stop it!" Garnet cried out. She was clutching her head as the strain to find the right path caused a headache that was nearly blinding. Her outburst must have startled her mom because the room wasn't cold anymore and she wasn't squeezing her fork with a death grip.
"You-"
"No. Don't say it. I don't want to live through talking about that. I don't!" Garnet slammed her hands on the table and she was up. She was up and running from the room and then from the house. She ignored the calls of her mothers and then there was a bright light blinding her and a horn deafening her and then pain as she failed to put up a barrier.
Garnet gasped and blinked back into the actual present. Everything hurt. But she hadn't moved, time hadn't moved. Her mama was still looking expectantly at her mom and her mom was still preparing to say those words Garnet did not want to hear. No, no! She didn't like those futures. She didn't like the ones that were still playing in her head as she pushed out of her seat. She hated this curse. She hated seeing these things!
"SHUT UP!" Garnet screeched. She slapped her hands over her ears and ran from the room and then from the house. She carefully avoided the road, vaguely hearing a car go by as she dashed down the street. She wasn't sure if either of her parents were following her but she didn't care. She was running, running as fast as she could. So fast she was sure that she was nothing but a blur to the naked eye and she was really fast to the psychic eye. She ran until she was tired, until her visions showed nothing but peace and quiet, until she was leaning against a large tree and panting to catch her breath.
Garnet fell onto her bottom and pulled her knees close to her chest. This wasn't the first time that this has happened. It wasn't like they hadn't banned her from doing something or said no to her before. And each time she argued back, her time in capture came up. Because she was horrible person. Any bout of anger towards her parents brought those memories back up, brought them to her lips and had her spewing hateful words. Of course she never actually said them, she never wanted to hurt the people she loved.
Garnet was pulled from her thoughts by an almost silent rustle. She was being watched and she had one good guess on who it could be. Well two whos. Garnet wiped her face clean until she was more presentable then focused her gaze in the direction of her stalkers.
"I know that you're there," she murmured. As she had guessed, Pearl and Amethyst stepped from the trees. Garnet put on a shaky smile and gave the girls a half wave, "Hello."
"Oh hey G-man. You know Pearl and I were walking in the neighborhood and we just so happened to see you! Toooootally didn't track you here after Ruby and Sapphire called and explained what happened," Amethyst smiled brightly and threw herself at the other girl, trusting and believing that Garnet would catch her. And she did. And Garnet had promised that she always would. Garnet pulled the girl close, so very close to her until she was sure that the other couldn't possibly be comfortable. Amethyst didn't mind because she understood her and knew that all she needed to do was wrap her limbs as much as possible around her friend and project as much calming energy as she could.
"I'm…. I should go and tell everyone that you're okay," Pearl spoke up suddenly. Garnet's head shot up and she was yanking Pearl into their embrace with nothing more than a thought. The Indian girl let out a loud squeak but made no protest as arms wrapped around her and help her in place.
"Don't go," Garnet murmured into the other's hair.
"But… uh… are you sure?" Pearl asked in a small voice. Garnet nodded and allowed the presence of Amethyst and Pearl to soak into her very essence. They sat like that for a long time-long enough for their limbs to fall asleep and their eyes to grow heavy. But they stayed in their same position.
"G…" Amethyst spoke up. Garnet stirred a bit to let Amethyst know she was listening even though she didn't feel like speaking.
"G, you can't keep doing this. You haven't said anything about what happened to you. Not one word. And… well, I think you should. It's hurting you not to talk about it. It's making you run out in the middle of the night and cry under trees. And that just don't seem healthy home girl."
"Amethyst!" Pearl gasped, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. She had started to doze sometime in their hug session but now she was fully awake, "Garnet will talk about it when she's ready to!"
"Well that don't seem to be any time soon! How many times are her nightmares going to bring down the house? How many times will she stop breathing because she caught a glimpse of one of those sick fucks in a vision?! How many times are we going to watch her cry alone and pretend to not see it?!"
"Oh…" Garnet felt like something had cracked just a little bit inside her. Amethyst was right but how could she talk about what happened to her? So many emotions ran through her anytime she thought about that time. She had been so… angry down there. Angry that she had been captured. Angry that they would hurt her. Angry that they would use her. She had… hurt several people with that anger. But it wasn't just anger that filled her. It was pain from the experiments. It was sadness. It was terror. Oh, oh God she had been so scared down there. She would curl herself into the nearest corner whenever they would come. It was disgust. Disgust at herself, at them… at her parents.
"G… you okay?"
Yes, she'd been there for so long that she resented the two people who loved her more than anything. She felt hot betrayal in her stomach almost every day. She felt it whenever they tore into her mind, whenever they'd force her to concentrate on a certain path, whenever they'd talk at her.
"Garnet…?"
She blamed them both. And that wasn't fair. Garnet knew that wasn't fair. She knew but that didn't matter. It didn't change how she felt. She was such a terrible person. Her moms tried their very best to save her. Her mom lost her eye trying to save her and all Garnet could do was blame them when it was her own fault. It was her fault. Everything was her fault always because she was too stoic, too hot headed, too reckless, too future focused. She ruined everything just by knowing about it.
Garnet upended Amethyst and Pearl as she jumped to her feet. Visions burst forward but she swatted them as away as she could and started to leave. She had to go. She had to… to do something. Anything.
"Garnet?! Where are you-?" Pearl didn't get to finish her sentence because Garnet was already gone. It was like she was never there to begin with. Pearl leaned back against the tree and stared in the direction Garnet might have taken off.
"I… uh… wow. I think I might have screwed up right there," Amethyst sighed. Pearl took one look at her sister's face and pulled back whatever her original comment was going to be. She knew that it wasn't what Amethyst needed to hear. Amethyst talked freely about her time in Homeworld Kindergarten-no matter how horrible the detail and she seemed better of because of it. Unlike Garnet. And that… it was a problem and it was great that Amethyst addressed it. Pearl took a deep breath and stood up, helping her little sister to her feet.
"Garnet will be fine. You were right to say what you did," Pearl smiled wearily. Amethyst returned her smile but it wasn't genuine or worry free.
"Thanks, P. Let's get some sleep before school."
END
Sorry I'm like super late but I was working on this other story that came to mind. Also I don't own anything. Also also dun dun duuuunnnnn. Where did Garnet go? We'll find out together! Next time on this fic (in case I find a better title)!
