AN… This is my longest chapter so far. I thought this one

through for hours last night, and woke up still obsessing

over it. I hope that it comes across the way it did in my

head.

Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 19

Tainted Memories,

Broken Lives,

And Family Ties

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

As I entered the living room, the first thing I noticed was that they were seated separately. He on the couch, her on the love seat. Both had straightened their clothes and hair. The television was back on. They were trying to act as though nothing had occurred. They were hoping that my intrusion was about anything else but them. I rolled my eyes and chuckled darkly.

"Too late guys, the jig is up. I saw everything."

"I don't know what you are talking about, Bells. What is it you think you saw?" Charlie's eyes were guarded, and his voice tight.

"I saw enough to make me literally lose my dinner. I heard enough to know that this is not new. I want answers."I stood there, staring them down, daring either one to deny it. Sue could not meet my eyes. Charlie sighed heavily, and dropped his head.

"Sue, you might as well sit with him." I wanted to sit down and wait for their explanation, but I was not willing to sit beside either of them right now. I was so grateful that Seth had gone to Colin's house for the night, overhearing this conversation was the last thing that that sweet kid needed.

"What exactly is it that you are wanting from us, kid?" Charlie huffed, seemingly backed into a corner, and resenting it.

"I want to know how long this" I gestured to the two of them, "has been going on! I want to know the whole story here, no holding back."

"What story?" Charlie spat, still trying to deny what he now knew that I knew. "I'm still not sure what it is that you think you saw!"

"Fine. You want me to say it? I will. I came in here about twenty minutes ago, but you were so caught up in your post-coital bliss that you didn't hear me. I saw you lying on the floor, heaving and groping on top of Sue with her legs all wrapped around you. I'm not exaggerating when I said I lost my dinner. The proof is in the yard." I glared at him, daring him to try to deny it again.

His head dropped, and his ears burned red with shame and embarrassment. Sue was still silent at his side. I drew my feet under myself, making it obvious that I was settling in to hear the story. I knew that he was the parent here, but I felt I was owed an explanation.

"How long?" I demanded. Neither of them would look at me. I pulled my hair in frustration, and growled as I waited for an answer. Five minutes had passed, and neither one of them would look at me, and neither one of them was willing to give me an answer.

"I'll wait as long as it takes, but you two are not leaving this house until I get an answer." Silence. More waiting.

"You know, morning comes at the same time every day, and I think you want this awkwardness done before Seth arrives home." It was blackmail, and it was cruel, but it worked.

"NO!" Sue stood to her feet, and shouted, her breath coming in short, uneven bursts. "Leave Seth out of this!" she pleaded. "We will tell you anything you want to know, I promise, just please, please! You can't." she choked out a sob, her eyes were on fire, begging me to leave Seth out of it.

"The faster you two explain, the faster we get this over, and Seth will be none the wiser."

"Deal."

I glared past Sue at Charlie, waiting for him to say something, anything. Sue stood there, wringing her hands, and swallowing back tears. After a few more moments of agonizing silence, Charlie stood, and wrapped his arms around Sue, turning her towards him, and soothing her with whispers, and kisses to her forehead and temple. I had never seen my father display such affection. The tenderness and intimacy between them was heart-wrenching. I felt a chink in my resolve, and had to look away for a moment. Looking at them made me think of what it might have looked like to watch Jacob and I in our private moments. There was love there. I wondered how I could have missed this before.

I looked back to see Charlie seating her beside him, and tucking her to his side. She clung to him like a she was holding on for dear life. Charlie's chin rested on her head, and he glared at me for a moment before softening his gaze.

"What is it you want to know?" he asked again.

"I want to know how and when this began." I told him softly.

"Began?" Charlie chuckled softly, as if amused by some private joke. "I don't know. It has always been."

I was flabbergasted. I couldn't fathom what that meant. "Explain." I begged him.

~UUaAP~

Charlie POV

Sue was clinging to me still, her body wracking with silent sobs. We had been caught, finally. I could not believe that we had gone our whole lives without the truth being exposed. I had always known that Harry knew. It was the white elephant in the room that he refused to acknowledge. His sense of dignity and duty, and his love for his family allowed him to overlook the blaring truth exposed here tonight.

Why did it have to be Bella? Not that it would have been better if it were one of the other kids. Why couldn't it have been Billy, or Sam? Why did this whole night seem to spiral out of control? What good did it do to ask why? It had happened. It was inevitable. I was shocked as hell that it had not happened years ago. It's not like we even tried to cover out tracks very much.

Now, here we were, facing the consequences of our choices, twenty-something years too late. We had made a mess of so many things in this life. I sat, holding the woman that I had loved my whole life, the one that had belonged to another all of hers, and stared into the bewildered eyes of the daughter that I loved so much, just wanting to go back and do everything over again.

If I could have, I would have, but that would mean that neither of us would have had the children that we treasured, and that could not be tolerated. They were the only thing that kept us from abandoning everything to be together.

Bella was patiently waiting for my explanation. It was that very explanation that I was afraid would shatter five lives tonight, three of which deserved none of it. My heart sank as I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat. Bella deserved the truth, but not the pain that I knew it would bring.

I had never told Bella about her true heritage. My true heritage. I had already done the research last winter while she and Jacob were becoming so close. I had panicked when I thought about the burgeoning relationship, and what my secrets could mean to the two of them. Thankfully, I had discovered that there was nothing to worry about. Not a strong enough blood tie to cause problems should they pursue a romance. A secret part of me had been so grateful when Edward came back, in spite of my loathing him for how badly he had hurt my daughter, he had saved me from having to reveal it all back then. It didn't matter though, because it was all coming out anyhow. My grandmother had been right. All of our darkest matters face the light of day sometime.

I decided to start from the beginning. If she was going to know the story of Sue and I, then she had to know its entirety, beginning with the fact that we are part of the Quileute tribe.

Ephriam Black was my Great-great Uncle. His half sister, Annah was my Great Grandmother. As Annah's descendents married outside of the tribe, a diluted the blood line, they moved away and were virtually forgotten. My Grandmother, Naomi had chosen to move back to la Push after her husband died. My father was a selfish man who always felt entitled to the best in life. He had knocked my mother up during her senior year of high school, and her parents had kicked her out, disowning her. When my grandmother learned about her situation, she insisted that my mother move in with her, and so I was born on the reservation.

My mother never forgot my grandmother's kindness, and would send me to spend my summers with her. I stayed with my Gran every summer from the time I can recall until I was twenty years old. * I grew up with Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Susan Long. We played and fought together on First Beach every year. I had always seen Susan as the most beautiful girl in the world, and had taken it upon myself to be her defender. Billy and Harry were bigger than I was, but that didn't matter to me, I would always stand up to them when it came to Susan. She always knew that when I was around, they could not pick on her, or bully her. I loved her with my whole heart, even as a seven year old.

By the time we were teenagers, I learned that the Longs and the Clearwaters still held to many old traditions, including arranged marriage. It had been arranged upon Susan's birth that she would marry Harry when they were of age. It was simply a given. She and Harry had both resigned themselves to this duty. It was not a sacrifice to Harry, as he had always loved her too. It was a great sacrifice to Susan. She had declared her love to me on her thirteenth birthday, and from that moment on, she had been my girl.

The triangle came to a head on Susan's seventeenth birthday, when Harry produced a ring. He was staking the claim that his parents had made for him. He told me that he knew that I loved Susan, but that she had been promised to him from birth. That this was their way, and that there was nothing to be done for it.

Susan and I silently rebelled, sneaking out every night to be together at the beach. We made love for the first time that very night, promising each other to find a way out of this. Harry staked his claim with a ring, I staked my claim with my body and soul. Harry sensed that we were plotting, and decided to "up his game", wooing Susan during my absence in the school year.

When I came back the next summer, Susan avoided me like the plague. She refused to allow me to call her Susan anymore whenever we did see each other, demanding that I call her Sue as all of her friends did. It took me the first half of the summer to wear her down, and get her to spend time alone with me. Eventually she agreed to meet me at First Beach at two in the morning as we had done in the past. When I got to our private spot, she was already there, asleep. Her eyes were puffy, and her face was stained with dried tears. I pulled her into my arms and rocked her gently until she awoke to fresh tears, and began to plead with me to forgive her. Harry had successfully seduced her the night of graduation, and she had been giving herself to him ever since. I struggled with her betrayal, but my love for her remained resolute. I could not give her up.

I told her that I forgave her, and that I didn't blame her. We cried together, declaring our love anew, and made love on the beach that night, and every night after for five glorious weeks. I was sure that she was mine. My girl forever. She told me that she was going to leave with me in two weeks, at summer's end. She was going to follow me wherever I went, and we would spend our lives together. Happiness oozed out of my every pore during those precious weeks.

Those precious weeks came to an abrupt end. Sue had not met me on Wednesday night. I worried about her, and called the next morning to find out if she was okay. She answered the phone, and said that she had been sick, she was sorry. Her voice was hollow, though. She sounded wrong, not like my sweet happy girl. I questioned her, but she just told me it was because she was not feeling well, and she ended the call quickly.

Thursday night passed without seeing Sue once again. I refused to call, and bother her. I didn't want to sound like I was being needy, or pushing her. When she did not show again Friday night, I knew that something was terribly wrong. We were supposed to leave on Tuesday, and she was avoiding me. I had to find out what was going on.

I went to the Long house, and noticed there were no cars, and the house was empty. I went to the Clearwater's just in time to see the cars pulling away with everyone dressed up in their Sunday best.

I ran back to my grandmother's house, and borrowed her car. I sped along as fast as the car would take me, getting pulled over along the way. My spotless driving record got me out of a ticket, but I knew by now I had no chance of catching up to the Clearwater's car.

When I returned home I found my grandmother waiting for me. Her eyes were filled with tears. She pulled me into her embrace, and told me how sorry she was while she started to rock me from side to side. She didn't say what she was sorry for, but I knew. I knew that Harry had stolen my girl. I knew in my heart that she was marrying him right then. The girl who had become the other half of my heart was gone from me forever.

I said my goodbyes to Gran that night, and left La Push behind me. I enrolled in Community College to get a bachelor's degree in Criminology, then joined the Police Academy. I studied hard, honed my skills as a sharp shooter, and worked out obsessively. I graduated second in my class of fifty-eight students. It was not hard to get a posting in the elite SWAT force in the Seattle PD.

I loved my work. I was honored to be among those who protected and served the people in the city. It was physically and emotionally draining work. I had never seen so many people doing terrible things to each other. I tried to forget my pain, but failed miserably. Everywhere I looked, something would make me think of my Susan. I could call her that now, she could not refuse me.

Gran called me early the following spring to tell me about the brand new Clearwater baby. She didn't mean to be cruel - I knew that, even though it felt like a knife had been stabbed through my heart. She told me in the hopes that I would move forward. I spent the next five months wallowing in agony, drinking myself into oblivion when I was not on duty. My work suffered. I had made the rank of Sergeant in less than six months, but now my Commander was cooling in his attitude towards me. We had grown close quickly, and Steve spent a lot of time trying to help me achieve my new ranking. He was the one who kicked me in the ass, and helped me to get out of my little pit of despair.

By June, I received a commendation for valor after assisting in a seriously fucked up domestic invasion involving a mother and her two teenage daughters. Everyone but the perp had survived, and I came out with a bullet in my arm. It was not a really bad wound, and I healed quickly, but I gained some notoriety, and found myself hounded with offers from other agencies across the country including Chicago, New York, and LA. I decided I really liked the idea of warm weather, and sunshine, so I accepted the offer from the LAPD SWAT division.

After just one month, I found that I was miserable. I yearned for the comfort of the familiar. I hated being so far from Gran and my mother. The only good thing that came out of my time in LA was meeting Reneé. We met at a nightclub, Club Soda Saturday Night. I had given in and gone out with some of the guys in my unit, but was not expecting to have any fun. My plan was to leave early, but you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men…

I was standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to bring me a Heineken when I felt a small hand on my back. I turned around, and found myself looking into the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes ever set in a perfectly heart shaped face. Her huge, perfectly coiffed, curly brown hair fell over her bare shoulders, and the most breathtaking smile graced her face. She introduced herself as Reneé, and I was done.

Her fun loving, crazy personality matched with her amazing eyes, and beautiful body won me over, and I found myself proposing just thirty days after I met her. It was the most idiotic, and impulsive thing I had ever done, and I never regretted it. Not even when she left me just three years later, taking my precious Bella with her. We had two years of bliss, and happiness, even after I moved us to Forks. The day she found out that she was pregnant, I started making plans to move. Gran had told me about the opening in the Forks PD, and I could not wait to go back to the climate and peace of northern Washington.

When I returned home with a bride, and made a happy home, I thought it would be great to renew old friendships that I had left behind. And it was. Billy and I began to get together to fish every Sunday, and after a few months, Harry joined us. It was a little bit awkward in the beginning, but we let those dogs sleep where they lay. Reneé and Sue met over our first Thanksgiving together. Gran hosted a big feast, and invited half of La Push. The two women that I had loved really seemed to hit it off well, and began to bond over babies and housekeeping.

We became virtual fixtures at the Clearwater home, and I grew to love my little "niece" Leah. I loved to throw her in the air, and tickle her. I read to her, and played dolls and tea parties with her, and Reneé seemed to love that side of me. When Bella was born, I jumped into fatherhood with both feet. The two years I had as a full time father were the two most wonderful years I could have imagined. When Reneé left, my world went dark, and gray. My summers with Bella were the only bright spots of solace in my solitude.

The spring after my girls were gone, another rug was pulled out from under my feet. Harry had decided that he was going to leave Sue, and find his soul mate. It hit her out of the blue. There were no warning signs, no fighting or silences. There were no complaints or apparent difficulties in communication. She simply woke up one Saturday morning to find him already dressed, and setting in the living room next to his suitcase. He handed her a note, and walked out of the door.

I found purpose for a time, in consoling Sue, and playing surrogate father/Uncle Charlie to Leah. For the first few weeks, it was a purely platonic arrangement. I stayed in the guest room, or fell asleep on the sofa watching the late news. I hated the idea of leaving the girls alone. It about killed me every day to see Leah missing her father, knowing that my Bella must feel the same way.

As one might expect, Sue and I began to grow close again as we comforted each other through the loss of our spouses. One night, we got a little bit buzzed over a bottle of wine, and started reminiscing over our childhood. Sue admitted to regretting the way she didn't end it with me. The marriage was a spur of the moment/shotgun type of arrangement. She had discovered that she was pregnant, and her parents immediately insisted that she and Harry be wed that weekend. I had always known that Leah was born fairly quickly, but I had never done the math. As I thought back over that summer, my brain froze. My eyes asked her the question that my voice could not. Her eyes turned hard. She assured me that Leah was Harry's child, and closed that line of discussion before it could even be opened. I had no choice but to believe her.

We ended up sleeping the night in each other's arms, and woke in the early morning light to a rekindled flame. We made love every night, and every morning for three beautiful months. Her heart was mending, as was mine. We were making plans on a Saturday morning to go out on an official date that night. We decided that enough time had passed, and she had already filed for legal separation. I had my girl back, and the prospect of a new life together. I was happy as a clam. For about four hours.

Harry arrived at the house at one o'clock that late July Saturday. I had taken Leah out for ice cream to spend some one on one time with her, and to give Sue an afternoon of peace to pamper herself, as those were rare times for her. When I brought Leah back to the house, I saw the truck in the yard. I knew instantly what was happening. History was repeating itself, and I could see the shades of gray begin to cloud my colorful future. Harry stepped out of the house and greeted Leah, who happily squealed, and ran into his open arms. Forgiveness comes easily to a four year old. Harry gave me a cheerful clap on the shoulder, and a hearty thank you for taking such good care of his girls in his absence.

I wanted to hurl. I wanted to beat the living hell out of him for what he was doing to Sue, and to me. I wanted to grab my girls, and run for the hills. I didn't do any of those things. I knew that Sue would not divorce Harry now. I knew from the look in his eyes that he knew exactly what had happened after his departure, and that he was not going to be a fool enough to leave again. I could see his determination. I knew I had lost my girls. Again.

After Seth was born, and life had gone back to an empty pattern for her, Sue began to sneak away to see me once a week. We knew that it was wrong, and that she needed to be there for her husband and children, but it was the only spark of color in my life, and it was the only outlet for her passion. In those moments, we were Susan and Charles. We accepted that this was our life. These were the only pieces we could have of each other. The stolen moments of passion once a week for the last fifteen years.

Even after Harry died, we kept up the charade. We could not allow our children to know. But then again, here we were, pouring out the story of our decent into infidelity to one of the three people we had wanted most to save from its knowledge, while I held onto the woman who had held my heart since I was a seven year old child.

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

I sat in silence the entire time my father poured his guts out on the floor for me to witness. I watched as he teared up, and seethed his way through the story. I had always known that my father had suffered heartbreak in his life, but I had never been privy to the extent of his pain. He had always hidden the darkness of his past from everyone. It was hard to reconcile the man in front of me with the man that I had been living with for the last year and a half.

As I turned the story over and over in my mind, Alice's voice kept ringing in my ears.

"Well, it will be a little bit uncomfortable for a while, but it will blow over, and when it does, your father will have a whole new life, and an expanded family. And he will know everything."

I considered what she was telling me, and could not imagine anything that he could have done that would be shocking to anyone.

"And if the scandal doesn't come out?"

"Well, then your dad will continue to be lonely for another year and a half before he works up the courage to…" she stopped and obviously decided she was going to give too much away. "Well, at any rate, by the time he makes up his mind, he will not be told certain truths that would lead to a much fuller life in the long run, and he will never acknowledge the truth even though he will know."

If there was something that he was not being told, and he had to be told in order to have a full life and an expanded family…

I got up from my seat, and walked over to where they were seated. I knelt in front of them, and grabbed Sue's hand, looking her in the eyes, and pleaded with my own for her to fill in the gaps. I knew something was missing.

"Sue. What are we missing?" I asked her gently.

Tears flooded her eyes anew, and she began to shake her head violently, pursing her lips. She looked like she might explode while trying to contain whatever it was that she was holding back. I looked at Charlie, then pointedly back to Sue, willing him to see that there was something not right. He did. He sat up, and grabbed her shoulders, gently shaking her.

"Sue, is there something you have kept from me?" he demanded in a hushed tone.

A guttural sob broke from her lips, and Sue dissolved before us. She sobbed for the better part of an hour, and the sun was beginning to rise. We had been at this story for over four hours, followed by this break down, and time was slipping away.

"Sue, please. You need to pull yourself together. Either tell us what we need to know, or go to bed. Seth will be home soon, I am sure." I encouraged her.

She wailed loudly at the mention of Seth's impending arrival, and Charlie and I were at a loss for what we should do. Charlie finally decided to carry Sue to her room. He asked me to call Carlisle and see if he would come over to help us calm her down.

Just as Charlie stepped onto the landing at the bottom of the staircase, the front door burst open, and in stepped Seth and Leah. Sue's wailing increased with their arrival, and she began to shake so hard under her sobs that Charlie almost dropped her, and had to sit down.

Seth and Leah rushed to their mother's side, horrified at the scene in front of them.

"What happened?" Leah demanded to know.

"Why are you here?" I asked her. I had a sneaking suspicion that a pixie sprite may have set this up.

"Alice told me…" she began.

"Yeah, Alice. I figured." I interrupted.

"She told me that Seth was in need of a ride home, and that my mother needed me."

I saw the tears begin to fall down my father's face s he held the broken form of his love, and faced the three people from whom he had tried to hide this shame for all of these years. It was the first time I had seen my father cry.

"Oh, Daddy! Don't cry." I begged him, with tears falling from my own eyes. I single sob wracked his chest, as he and I realized simultaneously that I had just called him Daddy for the first time in over six years.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Sue began to chant. Over and over she repeated it.

Leah cupped her mother's face in her hands, and began to wipe her hair off of her tear soaked face. "What are you so sorry for, Mom? What did you do?"

"I'm so sorry I lied. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I lied, I lied. I lied to everyone. I'm sorry." Her hysteria began to take on yet another level. Leah looked to me with a panic stricken face.

"I'm calling Carlisle." I told them, and ran to the phone. Carlisle picked up on the first ring.

"Alice said you would be calling. What can I do?" his voice was full of concern.

"I think she needs a sedative. She is in hysterics." I pleaded.

"I'm on my way out the door right now. I'll be there in five minutes." And he hung up.

When I got back to the living room, I noticed that Charlie, Sue and Leah were missing. Seth told me that he had helped Charlie get his mom into her bed, and Leah was changing her clothes, and trying to help calm her down.

"What happened, Bella? Why is my mom so upset?" Seth's eyes were overflowing with tears. It broke my heart to see him cry. I wrapped him in a hug.

"I don't really know, kiddo. I wish I did." I told him in all honesty.

I heard Carlisle's car pull up. I wondered just how fast he has driven to get here this quickly. I figured it was a good thing that the roads were usually pretty empty in Forks at five am.

"Where is she?" he asked. I opened the door before he could knock.

I pointed and Carlisle ran at vampire speed up the staircase. He entered the room, and sat beside her as he talked to her in a gentle voice. Everyone but Charlie left the room while Carlisle examined his patient.

Seth went into his room, and closed the door. The poor kid was overwhelmed with worry for his mother. Leah grabbed my hand, and lead me to the living room.

"Tell me what you know." She demanded. I chewed my lip as I considered what exactly I should tell her. "Alice said that some serious shit was going down, and that Seth and I needed to be here this morning early. She said you would know the truth by now, so spill it." Her eyes were burning with anger.

"Sue and Charlie have been lovers since they were seventeen." My eyes dropped to the floor.

"No. You're lying."

"I wish I were."

"How did you find out?"

"I walked in on them, and left my dinner on the lawn."

Leah sunk to the floor, shaking her head in disbelief, and reached for my hand. I sat beside her, and we wrapped our arms around each other, sharing each other's misery.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Bella."

"Not sorrier than I am, believe me." I shuddered.

"That's a fucking lie! I am Harry Clearwater's son!" Seth came barreling down the stairs, shouting as he fled. He exploded in a puff of shredded clothes and fur as he burst out of the door.

Leah looked torn. Part of her really wanted to follow Seth to comfort him, but part of her wanted to stay and find out what had just happened. I told Leah that I would call Jacob and send him after Seth. She freaked out at the idea of more people finding out.

"Leah, Jake was with me when I walked in on them. Believe me when I say, he knows enough already."

"Call him."

"Hello?" Jake answered on the seventh ring with a groggy voice.

"Jake, baby I need you to wake up quickly. All hell has broken loose here, and Seth ran out of here screaming a few minutes ago. He phased on the fly, and I need you to track him down."

"Sam's still out on patrol, and I am sure he is already on it, Bells."

"NO! You don't understand. Some serious shit has gone down. I need you to do this, please? Leah and I need you!" I petitioned.

"Okay, if it means this much for you, I'll go! I'll call you or bring him home as soon as I am able."

"I love you, Jake." My voice broke.

"I love you, Bells."

I ran up the stairs to join Leah and my father, and to find out what the hell had Seth screaming about being Harry Clearwater's son.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Reviews show me your love.

*I am debating about writing an expanded story based on the relationship between Charlie and Sue. The more thought I put into it, the more I realized I could write a whole book on it… Opinions?