AN... A week goes by, and here is another chappie. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to all of you who have been reading and adding this to your
alert and favorite lists. I appreciate all of you! And for those of you who
are reviewing.. Thank you, and I FLUV YOU! Each and every one of you!

MY hearfelt thanks to mylovely pre-reader prettyflour. You are amazing.
I appreciate all you have done, your adivce and opinions mean the
world to me! I heart you!

~UUaAP~

Chapter 24

Perpetual Virgin?

Bella POV

Jacob didn't have time to fully brief me on the scene I had witnessed. He just told me that it was really bad, and that he needed to go address the rest of the pack. He asked me to get some rest, and assured me that he would be back as soon as he got everyone on the same page. He refused to answer any of the questions that I asked.

Leah and Edward had taken off to Lord-knows-here, and Jacob had disappeared into the woods, leaving just Billy and me in the yard. I looked at Billy, hoping that he might read my questioning expression and fill me in. I was met with silence.

"I thought so." I told him dejectedly. "When he gets home, just tell him I went home to shower and sleep. I guess I'll see him…" I shrugged and rolled my eyes. "whenever."

"Bella, you really shouldn't leave the rez right now. You don't have Jake or a Cullen with you. It's not safe." He warned me.

"I'm going. I'll be fine." I glared at him, my expression a bit haughty. "Who's going to stop me?" I got in my truck and slammed the door, high-tailing it away from the rez as fast as my truck would allow.

A part of me felt bad about the way I was acting. I know I was being a bit of a petulant child, on the one hand, but on the other, I felt that it was less about being child-ish than it was about being treated as a child. I wished I were a little more like Leah. She had a way of standing up for herself, even to Edward. I had always had a hard time doing that. At least with Jacob, I generally held my own, but there was something in his tone today that intimidated me. There was a new authority in his voice, and it commanded respect.

I still didn't know why he decided to go all Aragorn. (You know, reclaiming the birthright he had refused...) From what I had seen, and was able to make out, Sam had used his authority over Leah in some horrendous way, and apparently Paul had something to do with it as well? I couldn't imagine Sam doing anything to hurt Leah. More than once, I had seen him look at her with a longing, and regret in his eyes. He had always stuck up for her when the rest of the pack got angry over her snarkiness with them. According to Jake, Sam had warned the guys repeatedly to show her respect, and to be gentle with her.

So, what could he possibly have done to her? My mind could not wrap itself around the idea that Sam would in any way knowingly harm Leah. Aside from how tender he was with Leah herself, I had witnessed the love between he and Emily, the woman who was carrying his child. They were cousins. If Emily found out that he had harmed Leah, imprint or no, I am sure that she would leave him. I kept turning the scenario over in my head, knowing that there was no way I was going to figure this out on my own.

The farther that I got from La Push, the more I began to think about the inherent danger that I was putting myself into. There was a horde of newborn vampires literally on the war-path, and they were coming for me, but here I was, leaving the protection of the people who loved me, and heading home- alone.

Smaaart move, Bella.

Suddenly there was a loud sound from the back of my truck that scared the hell out of me. I looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw Alice glaring at me. I pulled over so that she could get in. It was obvious that she was angry with me, and it was obvious why.

"I know. I'm stupid. I put myself in danger. Newborn army, redheaded bitch all out for blood, and I go off alone. How dare I? " I rolled my eyes, quipping out what I could imagine her saying to me.

"Well, all that is true... but I really came to save you from that God-awful getup you were going to put on after you shower." She cringed and wrinkled her nose. "You need to be prepared, because Jake is going to be upset when he finds out you left without him. You are going to need to wear something nicer than that to distract him. Lucky for you, I brought the perfect little number with me!" she wagged her eyebrows suggestively. "So, we're alone now, and I have been dying to talk to you. Spill it!"

I blushed and stuttered as I gave a brief and highly edited accounting of my morning with Jacob. I was uncomfortable sharing even as much as I had. It was such a private and intimate thing between Jake and me. Of course, it wasn't exactly a secret now, was it? Charlie knows for pity's sake. Ugh, just kill me now!

"So, was it good? I mean, it wasn't too painful, was it?" Alice asked gently. The softness of her voice, and the sincerity of her tone hit me as odd. She wasn't asking me for voyeuristic reasons, it was clear.

"It was amazing, Al! He was so gentle, and even hesitant. I actually made the move." I looked her in the eye as I turned off the engine, having pulled into the driveway at home. "What is it, Alice? You sounded so concerned?"

"Let's just say that I have a peculiar grasp of what the first time is like, and I sympathize with the pain that can be involved." She said looking out of the window, her gaze a million miles away.

"Alice, what do you mean, 'a peculiar grasp'?"

"Bella, let's go inside. You shower, and I'll spill my guts. I need to talk to someone other than Jasper about this for a change."

Alice handed me a small bag from Fredericks of Hollywood as I shut the door behind us. Inside I found the sexiest little baby-doll set in sand colored lace over satin with matching g-string panties. I raised my eyebrows at her, and she grinned at me, nodding approval. I decided to go with it. I had learned long ago to never bet against Alice. She followed me upstairs and was quiet while I gathered everything I needed. She sat on the toilet as I showered, and true to her word, she spilled.

"I was a virgin when I was turned. Do you know what that means?" I didn't answer her. I wasn't sure where she was going with that statement. "Our physical bodies are forever frozen when the venom changes us. It may heal us if we are injured at the time that we change, and it certainly prefects our bodies, but that comes with a price. It has been a difficult one for Jazz and me."

"Difficult, how? Was it really painful the first time your two made love?" I was truly curious now. Maybe because her hymen was hard as stone like the rest of her, it had been a rough experience?

"It is always the first time, Bella." Alice stated acidly.

"What?" I looked around poked my head out of the curtain to look at her.

"The venom forever heals me, keeping in-tact all that I was when I changed. Every time that Jasper and I make love, it is the first time for me." Alice whispered.

"Is it always painful? Don't you get to enjoy it at all?" My heart broke for her at that thought.

"Jasper is extremely cautious, and tender with me. He always makes sure that I am pleasured, but most times it is a bit painful, when he first enters me." I stood under the water, rinsing the soap off of my body, wondering how I would deal with such a fate. I was blessed with Jake, I already know that, but knowing that he had been so gentle with me that I had hardly experienced any pain made me all the more grateful.

"Is that why you two are not as overt about your intimate life as Emmett and Rose? I mean, in all the times I stayed over there with the family, I never heard a peep from you guys, but those two were like rabbits, and once I even heard Carlisle and Esme." I cringed at the memory of that evening. Edward had been playing music rather loudly, and I was beginning to get a headache, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Edward had not seemed happy about my leaving the room, but he hadn't stopped me. I think he figured I was going to the bathroom on his level of the house, but I went to the one beside Carlisle's study, knowing that there was ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet there. The noises I overheard from Carlisle and Esme were extremely sexy, and very private. I grabbed the bottle, and flew back to the bathroom on the third story of the house as quickly and quietly as I was able, and was beyond thankful that my clumsy ass didn't fall on the way.

"That is not the main reason by any means, but yes, it is part of it. Rose and Emmett tend to be a little bit exhibitionistic. If that's a word." Alice laughed. "Carlisle and Esme are more discreet, but at times their passion is audible. Jasper is always mindful of how gentle he has to be with me sexually. Sometimes I end up feeling so badly, because I'll never be able to give him what he deserves." her voice sounded anguished.

"What do you mean, 'never be able to give him what he deserves'?" I asked her incredulously.

"Bella, when your body is used to having sex on a regular basis, you will be able to branch out and do crazy, earth shattering, and fulfilling things with Jacob. Sex won't always be a tender act of 'making love'." She made finger quotes. "Sometimes it will be raw, and animalistic. You are going to fuck him sometimes, and it will definitely not be gentle. I can never give Jasper that. When vampires hunt together, it usually becomes sexual as we give ourselves over to our senses, and it is a primal thing. That's why I rarely ever hunt with Jasper. He always hunts alone, or with the guys."

"The morning after Jasper and I fist made love, we decided to hunt. I hadn't even stopped to consider that my hymen would heal. When things got heated between us after the hunt, Jasper practically attacked me, and I wanted him to! But when he took me…" she shook her head, wincing at the memory. "Shit, Bella, it hurt so bad. He was so far gone in the blood-lust, and then the lust-lust… he stopped as soon as he realized that I was shrieking in pain, and not screaming in pleasure. He still beats himself up over the fact that he hurt me. I have told him so many times that it wasn't his fault. He can never just let loose, and show me how he lusts for me. That is why I say that I will never be able to give him all that he deserves." Her face was crumpled in pain, if she could produce tears, she would surely be crying. I grabbed my towel, securing it around me before I pulled her into a hug.

"Alice, Jazz loves you. I don't think that he cares about not being able to "fuck" you. He gets to make love to you, and spend his life with you at his side. There is no way that anything could be better to him than to just be with you, and take care of you! Besides, I'm pretty sure that he has a reason to hold his head up that most men don't!"

"What do you mean?" She looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Well, because he is so attentive to your experience, you already said that you are pleasured every time… from what I understand, not all men can claim that. Not all human men, anyhow." Alice laughed, and squeezed me back tightly. "Can't… breathe" I squeaked. She quickly released me, apologizing for cutting off my air supply.

"Trust me, Al. I have seen how he looks at you. You are everything to him. He doesn't feel like he lacks anything by being with you. Have you told him that you feel like he deserves more?"

"No." she grimaced. "He knows that I have insecurities about it, but insecurities are something I don't discuss, and surprisingly, he has never pressed the issue."

"I thought so. You should, you know. What he says just might surprise you. I know that he won't agree to be anything but totally fulfilled by you!"

"Bella, I gotta be honest with you. At first, I was so upset about this whole Edward and Leah situation, and I was angry at both Edward and you for not sticking together, but I am beginning to see a different side to it all. Aside from the fact that I am getting to know and like Leah, I can see now that you genuinely love Jake. I am glad that you are able to share that love with him. And now that we have had this whole conversation, I have to admit that I am kind of glad that things went the way they did. If things had continued in the way they were going for you two, he would have turned you into a virgin vampire too. You would have suffered the same fate that I do. And honestly, I think that if you two had truly been mated together, he would not have been able to keep his hands off of you for so long. He would have craved intimacy with you. "

"I didn't think of that. Do you think maybe a part of him always knew that he would not end up with me? Could that be why he was able to leave me when he did?"

"That's an interesting theory! I know that he was miserable without you, but the fact that he lasted six months without contacting you, or even coming back to check up on you should have been a flag to the family. I'm surprised none of us really thought that through."

"Well, whatever the case. I am really happy with Jake. Once I decided to give in to the love that I feel for him, I felt freedom. I don't know how else to describe it. He makes me feel complete in a way I didn't know was possible."

"Enough of this emo shit… go put on that sexy nightie, and let me fix your hair. My vision of your future clouds back over in forty-nine minutes, so I think it is safe to assume that a werewolf will be here!" she winked at me. I went into my room and dressed in the lingerie, then stood in front of my mirror, appraising myself. I had to admit that even though I would probably always be self-conscious, I rocked that sexy outfit!

Alice barged into my room after a few minutes, and looked me up and down, admiring the effect. "I knew this would look amazing on you! There is no way that Jake will be able to be angry with you for long in this outfit!"

"Do you really think he is going to be angry?" I asked, hoping that she could give me some insight.

"Bella, he is a man. He is in love with you. He is also a werewolf, an angry shape-shifting werewolf, and you left the protection of La Push - alone - and risked your life because you were upset over not being filled in? Because he didn't brief you first? Yeah, I think it's safe to say that he is pissed off, Bella. I was, and you're not even my girlfriend! Although, dressed like that, I might be willing to give it a go!" She gave me a sultry look, and laughed at herself. I was nervous enough over the thought of fighting with Jacob that I couldn't even laugh at her very funny lez-inuation.

Alice was just finishing styling my hair into a sultry, sexy style when the vision hit. She froze, and her eyes glazed over, I knew that expression. She stayed like that for about a minute and a half before she snapped out of it, but it felt so much longer.

"What is it?" I worried.

"I have to get home. Edward and Leah have an emergency." Her voice was stressed.

"Can I help?"

"No, the only person who can really help is Carlisle. I gotta call him and tell him to get home too."

"Can you tell me what is going on?"

"Bella, they… I can't. Just - Leah's life is in danger. I have to go." She gave me another quick squeeze, and was gone. I was so worried for Leah. I hoped that Alice would think to call me and let me know how things went. Of course, part of me was stressed out and feeling like a mushroom again.

Just keep me in the dark and feed me crap. I tried to shake off the frustration. I didn't mean to be behaving like a juvenile, but I was just fed up with always being the last to know. I was the only human in an equation of supernatural proportions. I would forever be the fragile member of this close-knit community. And eventually I would be dead, while the rest of them could all life on forever. Jacob once told me that as long as they continued to phase every once in a while, they would not age, and would live on forever, just like my vampire family. I still wished for forever with my family.

I looked at the clock. According to Alice's suddenly clouding vision, Jacob would be here in about a minute. I decided to go downstairs and meet him at the door. Just as I got to the bottom of the steps, I heard the door handle jiggle.

"Hi, babe. I'm so glad you're here." I stepped in front of the door at the moment it burst open, and was greeted by a pair of blood-red eyes.

~UUaAP~

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