So I've been having some kind of writer's block, plus being busy with moving back home and having friends over to visit. And I should have finished the oneshot I'm writing for adgxvnetu's birthday but at least I managed to write. That's why it's a little short. There's probably some stuff I wanted to say but I can't remember. I'm happy people are excited about the sequel:3
Oh and I completely changed my profile so check it out if you've got some time to spare;)
I was originally planning to include another scene at the end, but I'm not sure about writing that at all. It's complicated. I'm still working on the plot haha:p
Warnings: This chap is also a bit emotional. More Naruto though:)
Chapter thirty-four: I'm sorry
'
When things had calmed down they got some food into Yukio before putting him to bed, or rather Sasuke put him to bed since the kid insisted that his dad had to read for him before sleeping. Once he was sleeping soundly Sasuke went into the kitchen, not really sure of what to do now that he and Karin were alone again. Uncertain he sat down on a chair, Karin rummaging around and putting things back into cupboards or drawers, seemingly having spent the time waiting by cleaning.
Looking around the kitchen Sasuke noticed things he hadn't before, having naturally been focused on his son. At first glance you might have said it was messy, but it was more full of stuff than anything else. There were pictures of Yukio, some of them together with Karin or friends and some alone. There was one with what he guessed to be Karin's parents, and he wondered what they were like. Yukio and Naruto had never mentioned them.
"So" Karin said, having turned around to look at him, her back against the counter.
He looked at her, the silence stretching out through the fairly small room.
"So" he answered, not really sure what else to say, feeling out of place.
"I'd like to apologize" she then said, tapping her fingers against the lightly colored wood behind her. "What I did that night wasn't…"
"It's okay" Sasuke said quickly. "I mean, I wasn't exactly happy afterwards but it's not as if I tried to stop you."
Another moment of silence fell between them, neither knowing how to proceed.
"But still. I'm sure you understand the reasons I kept the pregnancy from you."
Sasuke blew some air out of his nose.
"No kidding. It's probably for the best that you didn't, I wasn't ready to be a father and my parents would most likely go crazy." He hesitated for a second, stretching his arms out in front of him on the table surface, seeing only Yukio in his mind. "I'm glad I found out now, though. I'm glad I met Naruto, I'm glad my life turned out like this."
Gazing up at Karin the corners of his lips turned upwards slowly.
"And I'm glad you kept the baby."
She smiled back at him, faint at first.
"It wasn't easy. My parents were completely against the idea, most people were. Naruto was so sweet though." She let out a little laugh. "When he found out he went up to me, stared at my stomach with such a concentrated look, and then he smiled brightly and told me he'd be the best uncle ever. I know I don't always appreciate him as much as I should, but half the time he just grates on my nerves."
Sasuke snorted, leaning his head in one hand as Karin walked over to sit down opposite of him.
"I wasn't going to keep him at first though" she continued, more serious now. "But there was something you said to me, that I didn't really understand while drunk, but later it really got to me."
Raising an eyebrow Sasuke waited for her to continue, as she paused to recollect the memory.
"I'd always wanted to be rich, I envied those who were. I worked on ships like that one hoping to snatch some handsome loaded man, living the easy life after that. But the things you told me… I think the person you are now shone through for a moment, and you acted less like a spoiled brat."
"What did I say?"
Sasuke tried to recall their conversation, but most of it was lost on him. Judging by the look in Karin's eyes, it must have been something pretty important though, and he swallowed thickly, thinking that something his teenage self said while drunk was the reason he now had a son and not just bad memories.
Karin was staring out into nothingness, reliving the words most likely. She was absently playing with a lock of her hair, and by the tone of her voice she seemed as if she was still intrigued by his younger self.
"Well, there was the whole speech about your brother, how you hated his girlfriend and never wanted to get married yourself. And then you said… that you felt so bad for his future children. You said they'd be better off not being born if they had to live the same life as you, and that you envied my freedom." She looked at him, her dark eyes boring into his. "You said you envied any child I would have."
"I must have been pretty drunk" Sasuke mumbled, coming off as amused on the surface, but almost cringing as his body remembered the pain underneath those words.
"So I used my freedom to raise Yukio" she finished off with a smile, "Though you owe me some compensation for the pain and suffering that comes from being a single mother."
"Anything you want" he replied seriously, but she shook her head at him in amusement.
"I was joking Sasuke. I don't regret a single day of being a mom. Not that every day was all sunshine and roses."
Sasuke kept looking at her with a serious expression though, and he thought to himself, that if he could live his life again, there were just so many things he'd like to change.
The night before his sixteenth birthday wasn't one of them though.
Not anymore.
~Line breaker~
Naruto stood at the edge of the water, the waves rolling up to wash over his toes. It was slightly colder today, but he'd still opted to spend a day alone at the beach instead of joining his newfound friends on their escapades. He crossed his arms over his chest, not looking at anything in particular.
It had been two days since Sasuke had called to tell him about Yukio, and they'd only talked once after that. That had been a long talk though. Naruto was definitely starting to feel as if he should just go back home, but there was also something telling him he wasn't done here just yet.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, then traced the marks lining one cheek. He'd used to be so conscious of them, but now he wished that was the only concern he had. At least Sasuke and Karin seemed to get along together, though the problem of how to somehow officially mark Sasuke as the father without a huge media craze was another cloud on the horizon.
"What do you mean you forgot the water bottles?! You useless old fart, do I have to do everything myself?"
Naruto snorted to himself, the angry voice traveling over the moderately sized beach reminding him of Tsunade. Which of course managed to dull his mood even further.
"Since when was that my responsibility? I have enough trouble keeping track of my notes and the towels! You could try carrying something yourself for once."
Naruto frowned, the male voice bringing back memories of his godfather.
"I'm carrying the damn chairs aren't I? I swear you're going senile on me."
This was the point where Naruto's brain started suspecting things. Spinning around on his heels he searched for the sources to the ruckus, two familiar figures standing out to him in the small crowd.
He stared at them, disbelief written all over his face. They put their chairs up, still bickering but quieter now. They sat down, Jiraiya taking out a notebook and a pencil case from a bag and placing them on top of it. And still they bickered.
It was all so familiar to him that he had to take deep breaths, rubbing a hand over the ache in his chest. Part of him screamed to just walk away from them, to ignore it all. The other part was more rational, telling him that maybe this was exactly what he needed.
Some closure.
That or just another fight, but he braced himself and walked towards them, every step feeling heavier than the previous one. He had no idea what to say, but then again he was always good at improvising.
"Just what the hell are you doing here?" he said, stopping in front of them, arms crossed and eyes hard.
But of them froze and looked up at him, looking just as shocked as he'd first felt.
"Looks like we've been found" Tsunade said, leaning back in her chair but putting her book aside.
"Found my ass, I just saw you by accident" Naruto retorted, eyes narrowing even further at the casual response he got.
"Well it's good to see you again brat, you're looking good!" Jiraiya told him, none of the remorse Naruto wished to have seen on his face.
"What are you doing here then?" Tsunade asked, shading her eyes a little against the sun after taking off her sunglasses.
"I'm just, on a trip."
"Oh yeah, you always wanted to come here right? So where's that boyfriend of yours then?"
Naruto was silent for a few seconds after his godmother's question.
"I'm here alone" he answered.
"Sheesh Naruto, don't tell me you got dumped again!" Jiraiya commented, picking up his notebook and starting to read through some notes.
"We're still together, don't just assume things!"
"I'm guessing he paid though" Jiraiya commented, and Naruto felt like strangling the old geezer.
"If you hadn't stolen my money I'd be perfectly capable of paying on my own" he gritted out, glaring at his godfather.
"We're sorry about that Naruto, but at least we got you a job to make up for it! You needed a new one right? And the book is almost finished anyway" Tsunade tried to placate him with, making a gesture towards the notebook Jiraiya held.
"Like I care about some stupid porn book" Naruto muttered, starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have struck up conversation after all.
His godfather didn't react like he expected though. Instead of defending the questionable content of his books he simply chuckled, as if he knew something Naruto didn't and was looking forward to tell him.
"There's no porn in this one, kid."
Naruto raised an eyebrow, wishing he could look as imposing as Sasuke.
"It's about your dad."
Naruto's second eyebrow joined the already raised one.
"About my dad" he said, not sure he could believe that just yet.
"About your mom too, but it's mostly about your dad yes."
"You know people have already written about him right?"
"Not like this" Tsunade interrupted. "We found his diaries."
Naruto didn't know what to think.
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this" he finally said, looking back and forth between them. "And what do you mean you found them?"
"When your parents died, I… I couldn't go through everything they left behind. I just packed most things together, and I've kept them stored since then. A while back though there was a police officer who came to ask me some questions about their death, and I looked through their things and found the diaries."
"Are you telling me this police guy has read them while I didn't even know they existed?" Naruto asked, anger barely suppressed in his voice.
"Of course not, as if I'd hand over Minato's personal things to some suspicious guy just like that. And I was going to let you read everything before publishing it."
"I can't believe you stole my money just so you could write a book about my dad."
"Yeah, well, I'm almost done, so if you'd like to read them you can."
Naruto swallowed, feeling a little lightheaded suddenly. The prospect of reading his dad's diaries… Having been too small when they died to remember them, he'd always loved seeing pictures of his parents, or read their handwriting. It made him feel closer to them, as if they weren't just names to him. It always inspired a bittersweet kind of pain though, and he would lose himself to fantasies of what his life would have been like had they never died.
"I'd like to" he answered quietly. "Doesn't mean I've forgiven you yet."
Jiraiya grinned and slapped his back as he got out of the chair, gathering up his things. Tsunade followed suit, looking a little less carefree though.
~Line breaker~
About an hour later Naruto lay on his current bed, flipping through the pages of his dad's most personal items. Minato had started fairly young, and the first few years were filled with just normal snippets of his life. Even through the almost boring parts Naruto was submerged deeply, his dad's handwriting like a force drawing him in and holding him there. He was spellbound, and he felt as if he could hear his voice speaking to him through the pages.
He'd lost count of how many times he'd watched recordings of his dad's public speeches as a teenager, it had culminated at the age of sixteen in an almost obsession to find out anything he could about his parents. If only his younger self could have read these words…
The point where his mom entered into his dad's life had him smiling like a fool, endless descriptions of her and her beautiful red hair filling page after page.
…Today we finally had our date! I was so nervous, but Kushina always makes me feel nervous I guess. She seemed to enjoy herself though, so fingers crossed and I think something good will come out of this!...
…She kissed me! I was trying so hard to find the perfect opportunity, and then she kissed me just like that! No warning at all. But I guess that's what I love about her, haha…
It was starting to get late, but he didn't notice. He doubted he'd be able to stop before finishing them. He kept smiling as their wedding drew near, but there was one part that had him frowning a little.
…Kushina's friend Mikoto, I don't know what to think of her. She's nice, and she's helping a lot with the wedding, but there's something about her husband that I just don't like. He's a capable man I'm sure, and I've seen him on quite a few official occasions, but his son Itachi is creepily well-behaved. At least that's what Kushina told me, and I believe her of course. I just have a feeling Fugaku isn't very tolerant while raising his kids. I hope Mikoto won't put any weird ideas in Kushina's head, I want our future children to live happily without the pressure of success…
Disregarding the fact that 'future children' was in plural, making his heart ache a bit for the siblings he could have had, he was surprised to find out that his and Sasuke's parents had known each other. Also… his dad wanted him to grow up without the pressure of success. It was a shame that wish didn't come true, though at least he hadn't had it as bad as Sasuke.
…When I came home from work today Kushina stood with her hands to her sides and demanded that we proceed to make a baby. She's been telling me before that she was feeling too young to have kids, but I know she's been making jealous eyes at Mikoto's little Sasuke, who's now almost a year old. I was a bit stunned, but happy all the same. Though, anything involving my beautiful wife and a bed makes me happy to be honest. I hope our baby will be as beautiful as her…
This was the point tears started to gather in Naruto's eyes, the love his parents felt for each other, and also for him even before he existed. To read it like this, ink on paper, in his dad's characteristic writing, it had his emotions reeling all over the place. He kept reading, taking a small break to feed his starving stomach, and the closer he came to his birth the more difficult it was to keep the tears at bay.
...Just a few weeks and our son will be born. The feeling is nothing I've ever experienced before, and it's impossible to describe it. I feel like the most fortunate man on Earth. Kushina is so big now, and she complains quite a lot about moving. I jokingly called her my little tomato earlier, thinking she resembled one with her wonderful hair and round stomach, and as a result I'm spending a night on the couch. How was I supposed to know she was called tomato as a kid by some mean kids in her class?...
Once he reached the being born part he just let it all go, the salty water running freely down his cheeks and hitting the mattress, the words blurry as he kept trying to read them. For a few weeks everything was so happy, but slowly he realized things weren't as picture perfect as his dad had described them. He'd just opted to focus on his personal life, leaving business out.
…My dear Kushina just came back from visiting Mikoto. Itachi didn't show much interest in Naruto, but then again not many his age would. Sasuke, now two years old, seems to have taken a liking to him though. He'd kept trying to make Naruto laugh, making grimaces and funny noises, not understanding that Naruto is still too young to know how to laugh. Kushina and Mikoto have apparently already declared them best friends though. It'll be interesting to see how that works out.
While Kushina seems to be getting along perfectly with Mikoto, I'm having some trouble with Fugaku. There have been rumors and suspicions for a while, that not everything is as it should with his company. I don't normally listen to vague things like that, but the conversation I overheard a few days ago makes me uneasy. I've been told an unofficial investigation has been initiated, but Kushina gets mad at me whenever I bring it up. She's much closer to them than I am, so it's understandable. I'd be happier if she'd quit working for him, but she insists it's the best research facility in the city, country even maybe, and that it would be stupid for her being such a remarkable scientist to work somewhere else.
I know that she if anyone would know if there was shady research going on, but I can't help the feeling in my gut…
Naruto re-read that part many times. Not only could he and Sasuke have possibly been friends for life, his mother had worked for Sasuke's dad? From what he knew, Uchiha Corps didn't do any kind of research, so they must have stopped at some point. It was weird, being connected to Sasuke like this. If he was more superstitious, he'd think that fate was trying to heavily suggest something. But the part about Minato feeling uneasy… He felt a shadow of unease pass over himself as well, knowing the outcome but having no idea of why or if it was even remotely connected to Fugaku.
As he kept reading, things only got worse. His mother had gotten worried calls from co-workers, telling her the new head of the science department was giving them strange projects, and Minato got worrisome reports from his contacts about the progress of the investigation. His dad never mentioned any names, but scribbled onto the bottom of a page was the word 'Akatsuki' with a question mark behind. Naruto bit his lip when he saw it. They'd been discussing terrorism and guerilla wars in his last year of high school, and he remembered enough to know that Akatsuki was one of many borderline organizations meddling in the 'business' that were never proven guilty of any charges. He'd even written a paper about it.
The last entrance in the diary was written the day before his parents died. He was a little over three months old.
…Tomorrow we'll have a meeting with Fugaku at his office. He claims to know nothing about the things he's suspected of, and I fear that all charges are going to be dropped. He's got some powerful friends that even I can't ignore. It pains me that there might be nothing I can do. I wanted this job so that I'd be able to make a change after all, and I'd like to think that I'm not completely useless to the country and all the people living here, as well as internationally. Reality isn't as easy as I'd like though, and there are many things wrong in this world, making me sometimes feel so powerless.
Naruto, my son, if you are reading this when you're older, I'd like to say that I'm very sorry. I wish for nothing more than to keep you safe, but I fear that no place is safe enough right now. Kushina refuses to let you out of her sight, and I understand her feelings, but I still don't think an important meeting like the one tomorrow is a good place for a baby. Fugaku would never hurt us; I know that. He loves Mikoto more than anything, and she cares for Kushina deeply. Having the job that I have though, you can never rule out the possibility of being targeted. Though I seem to be appreciated, there are always those who disagree with my politics.
I would wish for a world where every child can grow up happy, but I am not dreaming as freely now as when I was a child myself.
I won't waste more paper with my worries at the moment. Despite the current events I am still hopeful, and you and your mother bring me so much joy every day. Tonight I will keep you close to me, and pray that the truth is not as harsh as I suspect.
Naruto was silent after finishing reading, slowly closing the book, the words having been read so many times he was sure he could recite them by heart now. Barely one third of it had been used, and he stared at the cover for a long time before putting it to the side with the others. He turned off the light and rolled onto his back, gazing unseeingly upwards.
It took him a long time to fall asleep.
So... Minato! Damn I almost cried there. Oh, and if you don't remember, it was revealed in chapter 26 that Minato used to be the Secretary of State... Please don't think of this as some scary cliffhanger, Naruto's isn't going to make any rash decisions or anything. Next chapter there will be more godparents. I hope you liked this chapter. Also, I changed the summary completely, what do you think of it? :)))
