I was listening outside the door, pathetic, I know.

But of bloody fucking course. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

I know I have no right to him, he's never liked me.

But that sure as hell doesn't mean I don't like him.

Fuck. I punch a wall. Now I have a throbbing hand.

Well, they'll probably break up after a date or two, right?

Wrong.

...We're a month into this relationship and I'm pretty sure all our friends know what's going on.

But I don't want to be the poor girl who's crush doesn't like her. I don't want them to see James Potter, heir to the throne, football star, prankster with a heart of gold, slowly but surely crushing my heart.

That was the most pathetic thing I've ever said.

But damn, every stray touch, every time Ciara's eyes light up when she sees James. Every time they hug or kiss.

It's time to get over my obsession with James Potter. I just don't know if I can.

Eliza, Marlene, and I are dorm mates. We often stay up late doing things like girls' nights.

"So Fliss, hows Sirius?" I ask.

"Shut up" she says

"You two sure looked cozy in the library" Eliza says

"You know," I say, "he must really like you, Fliss. Sirius hasn't dated anyone in about 6 months, I guess he's taking it slow. I'm sure he doesn't want to risk ruining your friendship"

"You think so?" Felicity asks hopefully

"I know so, maybe you should ask him out, get the ball rolling" I tease

"Speaking of people being weird—" Elizabeth says as she and Felicity exchange a look

"We weren't talking about people being weird" I say

"We are now" Fliss says.

Naturally, this means that the conversation shifted to Ciara and James.

"James has been acting weird lately. So have you, come to think about it. Anyways, aren't Ciara and James cute" Eliza says

"Fuck off" I bite back

They're both so taken aback that it makes me wonder if I hadn't told them I liked James before. Oh wait, I didn't. Whoops.

"Well, I definitely thought that would be harder for you to admit, I guess you're in a Sirius dilemma"

Fliss and I groan.

"Please no"

"But true, Lily, you've never told us you like James Potter"

"...whoops"

"Well, woman, how do you think you should get him back?" Eliza tactlessly says

"Yeah, it's not even a status thing, his parents love you" Fliss seconds

"But I was only introduced as a friend, they weren't scoping me for girlfriend material"

"Whatever" they both say simultaneously

"Seriously, and before either of you make a pun, I have a killer right hook, and I've thought this over. I'm not going to be the crazy bitch that breaks James and Chang up. I just can't do that, imagine what that would do to him if he loves her?"

"He doesn't" Fliss says without a doubt

"Well, I don't care. It's time to get over him"

"Whatever you say, Lily"

My pride and obstinance wouldn't let them have the last word. So when Shane Janda asked me out after class the next week, I said yes.