Ah, I apologize for calling the previous chapter a filler. Writing something and reading it is very different, and re-reading it kinda made me see the significance of it. So here's another significant chapter. No smex though, sorry. I did kind of, umm, get stuck at one point and feeling a little frustrated I just went ahead and wrote a crazy spin-off that's basically a smutty threesome between Sasuke, Naruto and Gaara... I blame adgxvnetu for cheering me on. Well, it's not done yet, but I'm thinking I might finish it if anyone wants to read it and publish it on my tumblr or sth. We'll see...
Now, two nice things is that we breached the 500 reviews level, and also this fic is now over 200,000 words on ff. Too damn long haha, but I'm really happy about it. Ooh and most importantly ten days ago (1st of July) was the one year anniversary since I published my first story here! I'm looking forward to another year of writing fufufu~
Chapter thirty-seven: Reach for me, always
'
Naruto's subconscious woke up before he did, and when he suddenly realized he was leaning halfway out of bed reaching for something he frowned and stopped for a moment. Hearing the buzz of his phone though he groggily rubbed some sleep out of his eyes and latched onto his backpack, dragging it closer to the bed. Sasuke had brought it up with him when he found Naruto looking at the photographs, and he glanced back quickly at the sleeping form of his boyfriend.
Focusing back on retrieving his phone he sighed as it stopped mid signal. Still, he decided he might as well check who it was, and dug it out of a side pocket. Raising his eyebrows when he saw that it had been Itachi calling he pressed the call back button, checking the time, wondering what Sasuke's brother might want. Remembering he hadn't changed time zone yet he looked out the window, the sky a rosy red, sun close to the horizon. It could be dawn just as well as dusk, he had no idea, but since his phone was closer to dawn he figured it was night here now.
"Naruto, have you talked to Sasuke lately?" Itachi asked as he answered right after the first signal, skipping hello.
"Umm, well, he's right here next to me?" Naruto said, trying to wake up, mind still caught in that dreamlike state at the edges of reality.
"Right next to- what do you mean did he go to Australia?"
Itachi's voice sounded a little panicked, and Naruto had to take the phone from his ear for a second to stare at it. This wasn't a dream right?
"I'm back, didn't he tell you?"
"No. I guess he's had other things on his mind. Well, that certainly makes me feel better. Where are you?"
"At the summer house" Naruto yawned, lying back down and turning to his side so he could see Sasuke. "Been here all day."
"You know I've tried to call a countless times" Itachi scolded him, but Naruto was too tired to care at the moment.
"Mm we've been sleeping, mostly."
He traced Sasuke's arm with a finger, following it underneath the covers and intertwining their hands.
"I… take it he hasn't said anything yet?"
"'Bout what?"
Naruto rolled over on his back again, starting to feel as if his brain was working again. The hesitancy in Itachi's voice certainly sped up the process.
"Hm, well, we had a meeting with Gaara yesterday. He didn't seem to be taking the news too well. I didn't want to bother him at first, he's pretty mad at me. But can you tell him to call me when he wakes up?"
"Who's Gaara?" Naruto asked, a thousand possible explanations running through his head, half of them highly unbelievable thanks to his brain still being partly asleep.
"A friend of sorts, you could say. Well, you'll meet him soon enough I guess, but I'll let you and Sasuke talk it over first. Take care of him, alright?"
"Sure…"
The way Itachi said it made him feel as if that Gaara person was there and not appreciating being called 'a friend of sorts'. But if Itachi could still make jokes, maybe things weren't as bad as he'd thought. Or maybe he was just dreaming this.
Dropping the phone next to him he snuggled up to Sasuke, rubbing his nose against his neck. Right now he wasn't feeling very open to any negative feelings, pushing them all to the back of his mind. With a content sigh he fell asleep again.
~Line breaker~
When Naruto woke up the next time, it was to the sound of heavy rain against the windows. He felt a little disoriented first, checking to make sure Sasuke was still there next to him. There was a clock hanging on the wall that he'd missed before, telling him it was close to nine. Morning or night? When the foggy memories of Itachi's phone call came back he figured it had to be morning now, sure he'd been pretty tired yesterday but not enough to sleep over twenty-four hours.
Sitting up he stretched out a few kinks, rubbing his shoulder that appeared to have been in an uncomfortable position for a while. Sasuke was still sleeping soundly, not reacting when he combed through his hair a couple of times.
For some reason he felt a little restless, yesterday's events as well as Itachi's words gnawing at the back of his mind. Getting up he figured he'd take a shower, then make some breakfast before waking Sasuke up.
Standing by the kitchen counter half an hour later he contemplatively cut up a bell pepper, mind still mulling over everything. He hadn't come to any good conclusions though, and shaking his head he decided to just talk it through with Sasuke later. No point coming up with theories that only managed to worry him.
The sound of the unfamiliar doorbell froze him, knife hovering over the red fruit. Wondering who the hell it could be he made his way over to the door, hoping it wasn't anyone who'd be bothered seeing him in only swim trunks, since they were the first thing he'd found in his overcrowded backpack, too tired to retrieve his pants from the kitchen and too lazy to change into them once he got downstairs.
The man on the other side of the doorstep greeted his surprise with a calm face, stretching out a hand for him to shake. The rain had let up, now a faint drizzle, but it didn't seem to bother him.
"I'm Gaara" the man said, and Naruto simply stared at him.
He was dressed casually, but looking the kind of good that only Sasuke or Itachi could, wearing just a simple light grey button up shirt and jeans with a trench coat hanging off his shoulders. Jeez, were all Itachi's friends models of something? The other few he'd met before could have been at least.
"So you're the sort of friend?" Naruto blurted out as they shook hands, the tick in Gaara's eye telling him that yes, he had been present during that phone call.
"I don't know why Itachi would call me that, but then again, he was a little drunk."
Naruto's eyes widened. Itachi drunk? Maybe things were already going to hell then.
"Umm, haha…" was all Naruto could get out, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, feeling naked when Gaara took in the sight of him, the orange fabric only reaching somewhere mid-thigh.
Suddenly Gaara let out a small puff of air through his nose, a smirk adorning his face, and it had Naruto's cheeks heat up for some reason.
"What?" he demanded, crossing his arms, not letting Gaara inside just yet.
"Just thinking that 'miracle boyfriend' kind of suits you. Now, are you going to let me in?"
Naruto's mouth opened and closed helplessly as he tried to wrap his mind around this person, that didn't enjoy being called a sort of friend and was obviously close enough to Itachi to go drinking with him after something bad had happened.
Wait a minute, wasn't the bad thing the meeting with this Gaara guy?
Narrowing his eyes Naruto stood his ground, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Just what made Gaara come all the way out here, in the morning, without announcing himself first? He must have one hell of a nerve to do something like that.
"I don't know" he said, "Depends on what you want."
Gaara met his eyes calculatingly for a moment, but then he sighed and seemed to slump a little from his formerly imposing posture.
"Look, Naruto, I haven't slept enough tonight, I have another case I need to finish in the afternoon, Itachi kept bitching at me for making his brother cry and I would really like to talk to you. So we can do this either the nice, friendly way, or I can shove my badge in your face and make it all official and uncomfortable."
"You made Sasuke cry?!"
"Well no, figuratively speaking, but-"
Gaara's voice was cut off as Naruto slammed the door, muttering to himself about the kind of friends Itachi hung out with. He didn't have time to lock it though before Gaara pulled it open, stepping inside and hanging up his coat as if Naruto hadn't just told him to get lost.
"Make some coffee and we'll talk" Gaara said calmly, taking off his shoes and completely ignoring Naruto's incredulous look.
"We don't have coffee" was all Naruto could think of saying, almost cringing at the sharp look Gaara sent him for it.
"Well damn, just another thing to add to the list of how awful my day is turning out to be. I'll take whatever you have."
Naruto nodded, moving into the kitchen before realizing that he'd just done exactly as told when he was supposed to throw Gaara out. Sighing he figured he might as well humor the guy, maybe Itachi would be mad at him otherwise, who knows. Thankfully he'd cleaned up the kitchen before starting to make breakfast; it would have been a little embarrassing if Gaara had entered to find their clothes on the floor and the kitchen oil lying suspiciously open on the counter.
"It's juice or water" he said after checking the fridge, taking the box of organic orange juice out and waving it towards Gaara.
"Juice is fine" the red-head replied, sinking down in a chair and letting his eyes roam around the room. "Nice place" he commented.
"So," Naruto started, having filled two glasses and put them down between them on the table, "Just what do you want to talk to us about?"
"Actually, I mostly wanted to talk to you, Naruto. And Itachi will probably yell at me for this too…"
Gaara stared out the window unhappily, and Naruto felt himself burning with curiosity. Just what the hell was Gaara's relationship with Itachi?
"Okay, but seriously what's going on?"
Gaara focused back on him, mild surprise on his face.
"You mean you don't know? Just what did you and Sasuke do all day yesterday?"
Naruto pouted, but couldn't stop the faint red spreading over his cheeks as he thought back on the more intimate parts of yesterday. Then he frowned, thinking of Sasuke's behavior.
"You know, I've never seen Sasuke this upset. Not even when he had his falling out with his mother…"
"Well, I guess it's not easy finding out about your father starting up Akatsuki."
"So he did do it" Naruto mumbled, almost to himself, leaning his chin in one hand and staring down at the table.
"I thought you didn't know?" Gaara asked, and Naruto shook his head slowly.
"If this is what it's about, then I know. I just don't know about your involvement."
"Right" Gaara said, and fished something out of his jeans pocket. "I'm investigating the whole thing" he continued, pushing his badge across the table towards Naruto.
Eyeing the badge Naruto pursed his lips in thought, tilting his head to the side as his gaze flickered between it and Gaara.
"You went to talk to Jiraiya" he stated more than asked, holding out the badge so Gaara could take it back.
"I did" Gaara answered, now scrutinizing him with his pale green eyes. "How come you know all this?"
"I met them a couple of days ago" he shrugged, calm on the outside but feeling his mind race a mile a minute. "I kinda figured yesterday, but what you're saying is that Sasuke knows his dad might have had something to do with my parents dying?"
Gaara nodded, leaning back in his chair and playing with the badge, tossing it up and catching it again. Then he clutched it in his hand and sighed again.
"Well, I only told him Akatsuki was most likely responsible for it, Fugaku didn't necessarily give the order."
"My dad thought he wouldn't hurt them" Naruto said, vaguely surprised his voice didn't waver.
"What do you mean?"
Naruto weighed the options. On the one hand, Gaara had every official right to see the diaries. On the other, he could understand what Jiraiya meant when he hadn't let him see them.
"I'll go get them for you" he finally said, letting out a breath. "I'll be right back."
Sasuke was still sleeping when he entered the bedroom again, and after digging through the mess in his bag and finding the two diaries he'd brought with him he went over to the bed. For a minute he stood in silence, simply watching Sasuke breathe rhythmically. With a small smile he leaned over to press a kiss to his temple, wishing he could just tell him everything would be okay, and then it would be. Gripping the books tight in his hand he went back downstairs, Gaara looking at him expectantly.
"Some of my dad's diaries" he explained, and Gaara's eyes widened before he eyed them hungrily, as if they would tell him the answers to all his questions. "But," Naruto continued, holding them up against his chest, "You better treat them with care."
"Of course" Gaara promised, hurriedly starting to leaf through them once Naruto had handed them over. "I take it there's something interesting in here?"
"I don't know about the one with blue covers, but the orange one… No hands on evidence I guess but…"
Gaara quickly opened the orange one, starting to skim through the pages. Naruto felt a little uncomfortable, letting a stranger read what was obviously meant only for him. Then again, if his parents' murderer could be caught…
He could feel his sixteen-year-old self stir somewhere underneath the protective layers he'd created, reminding him of the frustration he'd felt at not getting anywhere closer to finding out what happened than vague guesses and possibilities.
"Why are you bringing this up now?" he asked, breaking the silence.
Gaara looked up reluctantly, absorbed in the text.
"I'm not the only one after Akatsuki" he said, brushing through his fringe. "Well, not the only country I should say. But it's kind of personal."
Naruto wanted to ask, but he was interrupted by a presence looming in the doorway.
"What's he doing here?" Sasuke asked, voice testy.
Naruto opened his mouth to answer but snapped it shut again, fighting down the urge to just slam him into the closest object and do perverted things to him.
"Maybe you should put on some clothes" Gaara suggested after a glance in Sasuke's direction before returning to the diary again.
"Hn. I'm sure you've seen naked guys the morning after some rough sex before."
Naruto winced, but Gaara didn't react.
"You didn't answer my question" Sasuke continued.
"I'm here to officially apologize about being so blunt the other day" Gaara said stiffly, rather obviously not having come up with the apology himself.
"If Itachi can't handle it then maybe you should apologize to him instead."
Gaara glared at Sasuke, shutting the book closed with a snap.
"You're ten years too young to talk to me like that" he retorted, and Naruto swallowed nervously at feeling the tension in the air.
"Sasuke, really, you should go put on some clothes" he said, glancing back and forth between the two annoyed men.
"Whatever, you're not the one I'm mad at anyway" Sasuke sniffed, turning with a dramatic flair that was less impressive naked and stomped back up the stairs.
Naruto sighed with relief, running a hand through his hair, stopping when he noticed Gaara's eyes on him.
"What?"
"Just thinking, you're pretty good at handling him."
"It's not that hard" Naruto muttered, wondering why everyone had to make such a big deal about Sasuke's behavior.
Sure, sometimes he could be a little melodramatic, but hardly worse than other people. Maybe it was just the fact that he was usually so stoical that when he finally blew a fuse it seemed much worse in comparison.
They passed the time waiting for Sasuke to come back in silence, Gaara reading and Naruto playing absentmindedly with his glass. When Sasuke returned he sat down on the chair next to Naruto's, a grumpy look on his face.
"I'm not happy about seeing you here" he said, crossing his arms with narrowed eyes.
"I know," Gaara replied softly, "But I doubt you'd be happier just because I waited a week."
"No, really, I would be happier if you waited a week. I haven't even talked to Naruto about it yet, and then you show up uninvited. It's pretty rude."
"In my line of work you can't always do things the polite way. I'd never get anywhere."
"I doubt a few days would make a difference."
"Okay, you know what?" Naruto said, interrupting Gaara's response. "This isn't getting anywhere. You're both obviously mad at Itachi, so go yell at him instead of taking it out on each other."
The other two fell silent, squirming uncomfortably in their seats. Great, just great Naruto thought. Neither of them want to talk to Itachi about it.
"Sasuke, help me make breakfast will you?" he tried, standing up to continue his previous work.
"Hn. Fine."
"Do you want some?" he asked Gaara, shrugging when the man declined.
Breakfast was spent in silence, Sasuke shooting the occasional glare in Gaara's direction but mostly ignoring him. When Gaara shut the diary again, signaling he'd finished, Naruto watched him with half anticipation, half wariness.
"I'll be taking these with me" Gaara said, standing up and smoothing out his shirt a little. "I have to get back or my boss will become annoying."
Naruto nodded, but surprisingly Sasuke held out a hand as if to stop him.
"Wait, there's something I… there's something I need to know."
Gaara looked at him expectantly, but Sasuke seemed to have trouble getting the words out, clenching and unclenching his hands in frustration.
"We can always talk later" Gaara said, making a move to leave, but Sasuke's words stopped him.
"I overheard what Itachi said. After I'd left the room, I mean."
Gaara's frowned, putting a hand down on the table and leaning on it, giving Sasuke a searching look.
"He won't be happy to know that" he said, then sighed. "But you'll have to talk to him about it, it's not any of my business. Your father is innocent until proven guilty, that's all I can say, and there's nothing that would make either alternative more likely right now."
Sasuke met his gaze but soon averted his eyes, slumping into the chair with an unhappy expression.
"Right" he sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Alright, I'm off" Gaara said after a momentary silence, raising a hand as a goodbye to Naruto. "Nice to meet you Naruto."
Standing up Naruto followed him into the hallway, concern shining in his eyes.
"You'll be fine, don't look like that" Gaara commented after putting on his shoes and coat, patting his shoulder comfortingly. "People have recovered from worse."
"That hardly makes me feel better" Naruto snorted, opening the door for him.
"I'm afraid that wasn't the point" Gaara replied, stepping out onto the porch. "Itachi has faith in you though, and I kinda need him functional so make sure Sasuke is too, okay?"
"Just how do you know Itachi so well anyway?"
Naruto couldn't help but ask, and he waited with baited breath for Gaara's answer. He didn't expect the other man to make a small grimace though, looking slightly peeved.
"Through work, sadly. I would have much rather bumped into him in a gay club, you know?"
Naruto chuckled in surprise, the wink Gaara gave him before walking off making him wonder if maybe the red-head had a thing for Sasuke's brother.
Well, he thought, who could blame him?
Back in the kitchen though, all other thoughts flew out of his mind when he saw the morose expression on Sasuke's face.
"Sasuke…" he said, stopping next to him, not sure how to proceed.
"How much do you know?" Sasuke asked quietly, staring down at his clasped hands.
Naruto mulled the words over in his head before answering.
"I know about the connection between our parents, and about Akatsuki. But I found out from Jiraiya and the diaries my dad wrote. I bumped into them randomly a few days ago, that's pretty much why I decided to come back home."
Sasuke had stayed in the same position as he spoke, but now he raised his eyes, and Naruto felt something wrench his heart at seeing the emotion in them.
"It's okay" he whispered, stepping close, cupping Sasuke's face with both hands. "I know it hurts, it hurts me too."
"That's not all that happened." Sasuke seemed to have trouble getting the words out, his whole body tense. "The things I heard Itachi say…"
Naruto bumped their foreheads together, letting out a long breath. His thumbs stroke Sasuke's cheeks as he tried to pour every ounce of strength he possessed through his eyes to pass on to the darks ones.
"You can tell me" he whispered, reassuringly, wishing he could just take all of Sasuke's pain and throw it down a bottomless pit never to return again.
Nodding Sasuke collected himself, swallowing several times, unclenching his hands and placing them on Naruto's hips instead. Warm breaths washed over his mouth in a steady rhythm, and he tried to calm down, forcing himself to match his intakes of air with Naruto's.
"He promised he'd let me know the truth, but in the end he still kept things from me. I got upset when Gaara told me about your parents, so I left the room, and…" Sasuke paused, having difficulty controlling his breathing again, slowly calming as Naruto rubbed soothing circles over his temples. "Seems like the base of our fortune comes from selling drugs."
Naruto froze for a second, but hurriedly resumed the movements of his thumbs.
"I'm sorry to hear that" he said, holding Sasuke's gaze with his and refusing to let him look away.
"And then," Sasuke continued, fingers digging into Naruto's skin, "my mother apparently tried to kill me so I wouldn't have to live with the corruption when she found out about it. I can even remember it." Letting out an exasperated chuckle Sasuke closed his eyes, biting his lip. "I was seven, shit, I didn't realize what was going on at all. I just knew mother was acting a little strange, and then she told me I was sick, that I needed medicine, and she gave me these pills…"
Naruto was glad that Sasuke had his eyes closed, or else he'd see the horror on his face. Taking a deep breath Sasuke continued, and Naruto was scared to think of what must be going on in his head, remembering something like that.
"I took them, of course, I didn't like pills but you know… And then for some reason she left my room, I was in bed, I don't know, and Itachi came in and told me that aliens had replaced the medicine with their eggs, and if I didn't puke them up I'd have alien babies… I was so scared of that back then, we'd watched the Alien movie in secret…"
Sasuke sniffled, and Naruto hugged him to his chest, caressing his neck, lips pressed against the top of his head. He didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say, all he could do was listen and hope it was enough.
"I wouldn't stop crying for an hour. I don't think I've ever cried that much since then."
"He saved your life…" Naruto mumbled, feeling Sasuke's hands twitch.
"That's all he ever does, save me. It makes me angry, and then I get mad at myself for it because I love him, and I know he's just helping me. But I'm so sick of it, so sick of being helpless…"
Sasuke fell silent, drawing ragged breaths against Naruto's bare chest, pressing his face into the comforting warmth.
"I know how it feels, I spent so many years wishing I'd get older" Naruto murmured, cheek against Sasuke's hair now. "I thought that, once I was old enough to take care of myself I wouldn't need to rely on anyone, I wouldn't feel the pain of having no one when I needed them. I'd be needed by someone else instead."
"I need you" Sasuke whispered, and Naruto could feel something wet run down Sasuke's cheek onto his skin.
"And I need you too, so much Sasuke. I'm not as strong as I wish. I can't tell you everything will be fine, like Itachi can. I can just be here. I can just…" He took a small pause to breathe. "We met, you know, when I was just a baby. Our moms were friends… Imagine if we could have grown up together."
"You wouldn't have liked me."
Naruto smiled at that, chuckling despite the seriousness of the moment.
"And you would have probably thought I was the most annoying person ever."
Sasuke let out a half sob half snort, raising his head so they were face to face again.
"We'd be arguing over pointless things…"
"And then I'd try to punch you but you'd always win."
"Of course, but in secret I'd have this huge crush on you."
"Really?"
"Really."
They smiled at each other, and just like the previous morning Naruto felt that sensation of being home settling itself comfortably within his heart.
"Doesn't sound too bad to me" he said, drying off some of the tear stains on Sasuke's cheeks.
"I have a crush on you right now" Sasuke replied, face serious, and Naruto took a moment to memorize his face, tracing his nose, eyebrows, cheekbones, all of it so beautiful.
Not only because he'd gotten lucky in the gene pool, but because of the pain and the love expressed in every shape and curve, in the dark eyes deep as wells, inviting Naruto in, wanting him to see, to know everything.
"I hope it's more than a crush" Naruto mumbled, leaning in, lips tingling when they brushed over Sasuke's.
Slanting his mouth he slowly moved his lips against Sasuke's responding ones, letting the emotions just as slowly build up to a crescendo, overcoming him with their strength as he separated them to gasp for air, chest heavy underneath the pressure.
Running a hand lovingly through dark hair Naruto swallowed against his constricting throat. He'd give everything to Sasuke, bare his soul, accepting the hand reaching out to him, and he felt as if his blood burned in his veins as he shakily straightened up.
Without a word Sasuke rose as well, eyes conveying a thousand silent words instead as they walked towards the stairs.
Right now they needed to feel each other, feel the physical reassurance of skin on skin, heart against heart.
Stepping into the bedroom Naruto reached for Sasuke's hand, pulling him close.
He wouldn't let go for a long time.
Slowly slowly they will recover from this whole mess... I don't know but I thought Naruto's interaction with Gaara was kinda funny in this. And I'm dying to know what Itachi and Gaara did while out drinking. I have a feeling I'll write something like that in the sequel... Anyway my pretty baby adgxvnetu has left the country and gone back home so I'm kinda lonely haha. I'm taking care of my uncle's cat and house so today when it's raining we're just lazing around in the living room... Nice though that my best friend is finally back from her Asia backpacking, I hadn't seen her since Christmas... It was fun telling her I have a girlfriend, she was a little surprised but happy. The fun part was telling her about the age difference *cough cough* she kinda flipped hahaX)
I'll be working lots starting the day after tomorrow so it might take a while to update, who knows... I'm always so unpredictable when I write heh. Love you people as always!
