Fuck, fuck, fuckity shit.

Why am I such a bitch?

James was being annoying, yeah, but I shouldn't have retaliated with what I did.

I could've said something along the lines of "Sorry, tomorrow I'll sit with you" but instead I had to bring up Shane like an idiot. I could've stopped insulting him. I could've asked him out before Ciara.

Wait, damn. I'm dating Shane.

Well, he instigated the fight. I said some pretty shitty things, but he was the one who started it, not me. He can apologize.

Two long weeks pass. Either I sit with Shane or James sits with Ciara. Never at the same table. I'm grateful our friends haven't chosen sides, even though I'm sure James told Remus and Sirius.

I'm so preoccupied I bump into someone.

I'm about to apologize when I realize it's Ciara.

"My bad, Chang" Ah, precision of language. I sound like I apologized without actually apologizing.

"Whatever, Evans. We all know the real reason you've been bitchy lately" she says, oh so mysteriously, and leaves.

Did James tell her? Ugh, it's none of her goddamn business. Oh, what the hell. That's the second time I've bumped into someone while preoccupied in 10 minutes. Ohhh shit, it's James.

Normally, I would've apologized. This isn't normally.

"What the hell James?"

That wasn't what he was expecting. "What?"

"Why'd you tell Ciara? It's none of her damn business"

"Tell me what, James?" Oh look, the bitch from hell came back.

"Evans and I got in an argument"

I'm stunned.

"Evans? What the bloody hell Potter? We've been best friends for 3 years."

"You haven't been acting like a friend to him, Evans. Let's go James"

Oh, hell. There's no way he's letting his physco girlfriend walk all over me like that.

But he leaves without defending me. While normally I wouldn't need him to step in, I can handle myself, I'm so gobsmacked I don't even reply.

I can feel my cheeks heating up and tears prickling my eyes. But I'll be damned if I cry over his sorry ass.

I go to my room and see Felicity and Sirius, talking. The hell? Normally they're kissing or doing something equally as vomit-inducing. I wasn't aware they talked. Okay, okay, I'm kidding.

They notice me, fuck.

Sirius is unusually perceptive today.

"You okay, Lily?"

"Not particularly"

"James?"

"Why would you assume I'm upset over Potter?"

"Potter? That's cold, Lils"

"He called me Evans first"

"Well shit. That's my cue to leave. Fliss, you got this?"

She nods, he leaves, and I start crying.

Dammit.