I'm not dead...in case you were wondering.


Grady's POV

"How are you holding up, buddy?" I asked, getting a couple of Pepsi's out of the fridge for Nico and I.

"Not great," He answered. "Malena went in for chemo today and I can't help but worry that it's not going to work."

"You just have to stay positive," I told him. "Think of how great life is going to be after this is all over. Malena will have the baby and you guys will be one big happy family."

"I don't want a family," he snapped. "I don't want to be responsible for another life. How can I be when I can barely take care of myself and Malena? Every time I see Tawni and James, they look exhausted. I don't want that. Especially for Malena. She can't handle it."

"Sure, they're tired," I agreed. "But have you seen the way they look at Lily? They love her more than anything in the world. And when you have your baby, you'll feel the same way about him or her."

"You know I hate kids," he reminded me. "Remember the babysitting incident?"

"Oh yea," I said, smiling at the memory. "We only did it to make money, but we ended up paying them because of all the stuff we broke during a Nerf gun fight with the kids."

"My point exactly," he said. "We are horrible with children because both of us are children still. That's why Chad, Sonny, Tawni, and yes, even James, are the parents. They can handle it. They like it. I don't."

"You really think James wanted to be a father?"

"I don't know. He came back, didn't he?"

"Aren't you even a little excited?"

"For what?" Nico asked, starting to sound a little annoyed. "The ending of my happiness? The chance of Malena dying going way up? Of course I'm not excited."

"But she is," I reminded him. "Maybe this is blessing in disguise. If Malena has more to live for, maybe she'll be strong enough to pull through."

"She already has me," he answered. "Why does she need a baby?"

"Well, if you really hate your kid so much, why don't you ask her to get an abortion?" I asked, a little fed up with Nico's bitching.

"What?" he exclaimed. "Grady! I couldn't do that! It's a baby. I can't just kill it! And I don't hate it."

"You sure?" I asked. "Because it really seems like you hate it."

"I just..." he began. "I hate that it could kill her. She can't handle something like this right now."

"Did the doctor not say the baby was healthy?" I asked.

"Well, yes..."

"And didn't Malena says she was starting to feel a bit better?"

"She just says that to reassure me. I know she feels horrible."

"You need to stop assuming the worst," I said.

"I can't help it," he choked out. "I'm so scared she's not going to make it. And...I'm scared for the baby too."

"I knew you weren't completely heartless," I joked, putting my arm around him.

"I don't want a kid right now, but Malena does and if she made it and the baby didn't, it would kill her. Sometimes, I wish we could live in a world where we didn't have to worry about marriages and kids and sickness and responsibility."

"You mean like the past?" I asked. Nico nodded.

"Yea," he answered. "Sometimes I think life would be better if we had never left."


heh heh. hey guys. so umm...yea i guess your probably all looking for an explanation (like that i dropped off the face of the earth, because that's the only excuse not to write fanfiction), but really it's just been writers block and the fact taht I really needed a break. You know, relax, enjoy life, watch as many starkid musicals as many times as I can. You know what's insane though? I STILL havent' seen Harry Potter (no spoilers please...although i already know like everything, but still) I'm plannign on seeing it next with though. I'll be volunteering at day camp from monday to friday though so it may be hard. Then friday night I am leaving for a week visting the fam and going to my cuz's wedding which should be pretty fun. As for when the next chapter will be out, no clue. But don't worry, it will be out. Hey, wanna know a secret? I almost quit writing because my writers block was so bad. but today i just said "hey. i'm gonna write" and i did. yes, it's pointless and like so many other chapters, but still, it's something. now i just need to figuer out where to have the story go with like everyone but nico. LOL. oh the irony. remember when Nico was the only one who DIDN"T have drama in his life? and no he's the only one who DOES! Anyway, back to my starkid music. peace out suckahs!

random AVPS quote: Snape: Hey Lupin. Wanna go look at the full moon with me? Haha! Zombie!