A/N: I'm having problems finishing this one. The muses have already started the next 2.5 stories and it seems they are far more interested in them then finishing this one. I am hoping that getting some feedback and reviews might help refocus enough to finish this one up.
Tegan Chronicles STV Style 4:
Canis Major 1
It had been a week since Captain Janeway reinstated Tegan's holodeck privileges at the request of Tuvok. She had been tempted to lock her out of the safety commands but she decided to trust her when she promised she would keep them engaged. She stepped out of holodeck one actually feeling grounded for once. She had given up on traditional meditation and had started running different sparring programs. She had just finished running a Klingon simulation and planned to shower before attempting to enter the mess hall. Her last attempt five days ago had failed when she didn't even make it past the hatchway.
"You heading to the mess?" B'Elanna asked as she stepped onto the Turbo lift with her after her sonic shower. It was the first time B'Elanna had spoken to her since finding out about her abilities in a senior staff meeting which Tegan had been present for.
"Yes." Tegan took a deep breath.
"I don't have to be a mind reader to know you're nervous."
"I can't read minds, only emotions. I feel them."
"Right, well I can't do either." B'Elanna shrugged.
"Jealous?" Tegan grinned. She knew she wasn't.
"Hardly." B'Elanna growled. "Are you trying to goad me?"
"Just a little. I thought maybe I could concentrate on your anger in the mess hall."
"Too bad Flash, I'm not going to the mess hall." B'Elanna laughed acridly. "Maybe we can go rock climbing sometime? I heard you got your privileges back."
"Yup."
"Looks like it's your stop." B'Elanna glanced out as the doors opened.
"Yeah." Somewhere in between the holodeck and the mess hall she had lost her initiative. She was ready to turn around and head back to her quarters when she felt a rush of happiness preceding the hurried footfall of one Naomi Wildman.
"Dr. Kiser are you going to dinner?"
She turned and looked at the Human-Ktarian hybrid. "I…"
"You can sit with me, mom is working this evening."
"Alright." Tegan followed her through the doors and paused.
"Come on." Naomi grabbed her hand and pulled on her. "Are you ok?"
"Tegan?" Neelix walked up concern drowning out his normally cloyingly happy mood.
"You passed out in the mess hall." The doctor closed his tricorder as she sat up.
"This is stupid."
"Did you remember to breathe?"
She pushed herself off the bed. She wanted to tell him what a stupid question that was, but she couldn't remember if she had or not. It seemed like something that should happen naturally but she had been known to forget to breathe before, just not since coming aboard Voyager. She glared at him before she marched out of sickbay ignoring his protests.
She pressed the button on Janeway's door and it slid open to give her entrance. She stopped when she walked into a brick wall of annoyance. "Sorry."
"We were just finishing up." Kathryn spoke as Tegan took a step back towards the door. She could feel her mood shift but not the more dominating mood in the room.
"Sorry, I'll leave."
Before Kathryn could protest she was out the door.
"I wonder what that was about?" Chakotay inquired.
"I don't know."
"She didn't seem like herself."
"No she didn't." She pulled her napkin from her lap and tossed it on the uneaten portion of her meal. "I should probably look into it."
"Right." He stood up and grabbed the plates to recycle. "I'll see you on the bridge in the morning."
Janeway waited until she reached the turbolift to ask the computer to locate her. "Dr. Kiser is in her quarters."
She stood outside Tegan's quarters and after hitting the door chime a second time she let herself in to find the room dark. "Computer lights to 50%." She looked around the empty quarters. Tegan's uniform was tossed on the foot of her bed which was completely out of character for the almost OCD woman. "Computer locate Dr. Kiser."
"Dr. Kiser is in the exercise room."
Janeway traversed the decks and made her way down to the gym where she found Tegan pummeling a punching bag that was hanging in the corner. "Shouldn't you have your hand taped or something?"
Tegan gave a one shouldered shrug before going another round on the bag. She had changed into heather gray sweat pants and black t-shirt with Starfleet logo on it which now clung to her sweaty back.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." Tegan punched the bag throwing all of her body into it.
"You came to my quarters; obviously you wanted to talk then."
"You should have finished dinner with Chakotay." She emphasized each word with another blow to the bag.
"We were almost done." She reached out and touched the rock hard muscle in Tegan's upper arm stopping her from punching the bag again. "You're more important than dinner with him."
Tegan looked at her for a second and punched the bag again.
"Is that what this is about?"
"No." Tegan rotated her hand until her wrist popped and then wiped her brow with the back of her forearm. "I went to the mess hall tonight."
"How did that go?"
"I was about to skip out when Naomi came up and coerced me into going in."
Kathryn watched as her breathing became faster.
"I got overwhelmed and passed out. I came to as soon as I was transported to sick bay." She unleashed her wrath on the bag again stopping and hugging it when it swung into her. "How am I supposed to function if I can't even go into the mess hall for dinner? The next time Voyager is under attack and I have to deal with an inundated sickbay? I can't pass out when people are counting on me to save their lives." She walked over and dropped onto the weight bench.
"Maybe when the time comes you'll be able to just over come it."
"Sink or swim?"
"Sink or swim." Kathryn repeated with conviction.
"I don't know."
"That doesn't sound like the Tegan Kiser I know."
"I'm sorry." Tegan looked up at her.
"For?"
"Not being strong enough."
Kathryn knelt in front of her and put her hands on Tegan's knees to help her keep her balance. "Is that what you think I think?"
"I don't know." Tegan closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on what she was feeling while trying to block out Kathryn's concern.
"You're human, not superhuman, just human."
"I thought these new powers put me in the superhuman realm."
"It just makes you a little more special than you already were." Kathryn's thumb rubbed the inside of her knee. "We'll keep working on it; it's bound to get better."
"You did hear me say I passed out tonight right? I haven't done that before."
"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb back out."
"Speaking of, B'Elanna said we should go rocking climbing again." She ran her hand through her sweaty hair.
"I told you she wasn't avoiding you."
"Oh I think she was and she's trying to come around to the fact I'm a freak."
Kathryn gave her a cautioning look.
"Just because you don't like me saying I'm a freak doesn't change the fact."
"What about Deltans, Vulcans, and Betazoids?"
"I'm not Deltan or Betazoid and they aren't human and last I checked I have human DNA."
"Slightly altered human DNA."
"See freak." Tegan grinned.
"What about B'Elanna and Naomi, are they freaks?"
She twisted her head on its axis and stood up with Kathryn following suit. "Fine I'll refrain from using the 'F' word."
"Thank you." She turned as crewmen Mitchell walked in, stopped and stood at attention. "As you were."
He wasn't on duty and not even in uniform. Tegan shook her head. She thought those guys down on deck 15 were a little weird. She grinned slightly as she picked up his discomfort which she first thought was because he walked in to find the two of them talking but as the captain continued to speak she realized it was his normal response to being around the often formidable woman.
"Crewman Mitchell, how are you?"
"I'm fine ma'am, and you?"
"I'm doing rather well thank you." She turned back to Tegan. "If you need to talk about this any further I'm always available."
She smirked at the formality even as she noticed the emphasis Kathryn had placed on 'always'. "Aye Captain." She glanced at Crewman Mitchell. "Do you need a spotter?"
"No," he pointed to the free weights. "I'm not lifting anything too heavy."
"Good cause I don't want to see you in the infirmary."
"Yes ma'am." He smiled softly at her.
When she stepped into the hall Kathryn was waiting for her. "I'm fine."
"Let's go get something to eat."
"You've already eaten." Tegan followed her to the turboshaft.
"You haven't." Janeway waited for Tegan to step into the lift.
"I need to get a shower." Tegan pulled at her shirt to emphasize her point, though she knew it wasn't going to be that easy to get out of it.
"It's the end of dinner shift. No one's going to care. Besides you don't smell." Janeway smiled. "I bet you've already taken one shower since your duty shift ended."
Tegan blushed lightly. Kathryn knew her too well. "I'm not dressed for dinner."
"There isn't a dress code for the mess hall." When the doors slid open, Kathryn held her arm out. "After you."
"If I pass out again…"
"I'll catch you." She reassured as they approached the entrance to the mess hall and the doors opened to reveal half a dozen people not counting Neelix. "You can handle seven people."
"Not when one of the seven is a hyperactive Talaxian." Tegan mumbled as he spotted her.
He waddled over as quickly as he could. "Tegan, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." Her eyes squinted minutely as she studied him. She knew without trying to delve into his emotions that his hip was hurting from being on his feet all day.
"You gave me quite the scare earlier. Naomi too."
"Yeah, sorry." She jutted her chin out. "How's your hip?"
"Oh you know, it's fine."
"It's hurting." Tegan called him on it.
"You can tell that from…" He waved his hand in the air not wanting to let the secret out.
"I can tell by the way you're walking this evening. You need to take a break. I bet you haven't sat down all day." She stiffened slightly as two crewmen moved past her immediately followed by an increase in concern from Kathryn.
"You're right I haven't." He admitted.
"Go have a seat, I'll serve myself."
"And Captain Janeway?"
"I've already eaten Neelix. Please, go have a seat." She waited until he moved away and followed Tegan into the galley. "See it's not so bad."
Tegan glared at her. "Speak for yourself."
"You're down to five people."
"One Talaxian, one very nervous Lieutenant Celes, if you look at her she's going to puke on her tray. Then you've got a brooding Lieutenant Baxter, a giddy Ensign Blain, a very turned on crewman Delany." Tegan watched Kathryn turn and notice that crewman Delany was staring right at her. She felt a flood of jealousy with a hint of curiosity wash over Kathryn. "I'm not interested and give her a week I'm sure she'll be drooling over Tom again. In fact that's probably who she's thinking about right now, because I'm pretty sure she's straight."
Kathryn watched Tegan pick up a tray and scoop out some kind of casserole on it. "What can I get you to drink?"
"Water."
"Why do I even ask?" She walked over to the replicator. "Water with a lemon wedge."
"Thanks." Tegan spoke as she sat the glass down in front of her. She had chosen a table as far away from anyone else as possible.
"Are you going to survive?" Kathryn asked as Tegan picked at and pushed her food around her tray.
She shrugged.
"You haven't taken a single bite."
"I'm not hungry."
"Did you eat lunch?"
"I drank a nutritional supplement." She laid her fork across her tray and picked it up when Kathryn nodded. Not that she needed her approval; she just didn't want to argue with her. Still she felt her disappointment.
"At least you managed more than two minutes in here and you didn't pass out."
"I guess." Tegan frowned as she stepped away from the table.
Kathryn stood and met her by the entrance. "One step at a time."
Tegan stepped out of the mess hall and took a deep cleansing breath.
Kathryn watched the tension seep from her shoulders. "Come with me."
"Where?" Tegan asked but followed diligently. There was no question of where they were going when they stepped into the turbolift and Kathryn requested deck three. "How come we never hang out in my quarters?"
"Because mine are nicer?"
"Oh, right." Tegan grinned. "But mine are cozy."
"Yes, yours are cozy and always clean, except I noticed you tossed your uniform on the foot of the bed this evening."
"I wasn't really in the mood to hang it up; I had a punching bag calling my name."
"Speaking of." Kathryn took her hand in hers and looked at the bruising running along it. "I think the doctor should look at it."
"It doesn't hurt." Tegan shrugged. "But I do have that medical kit in your quarters if it'll make you feel any better I'll let you play doctor."
A crooked half grin pulled at Kathryn's lips. They had decided to duplicate Tegan's medical bag and leave one in her quarters for nights she stayed so she wouldn't have to run to her quarters or sickbay to grab it before reporting to an emergency.
"Oh," Tegan laughed. "You want to play doctor don't you?"
"Hush." She had her plans which originally had nothing to do with using a medical tricorder but plans were made to be altered. She stepped off the lift and led the way to her quarters. When they were inside she pulled Tegan's medical bag from its assigned place quickly finding the tricorder she ran it over Tegan's slightly swollen hand. She frowned. "Do you have an osteoregenerator."
"It's not broken." Tegan reached for the tricorder with her biomechanical hand. She looked at the small readout. "Micro fractures, it's nothing."
"It's not nothing. We're going to sick bay."
"Honest it doesn't hurt."
"I believe you, but if you want me to play doctor with you tonight you have to let the actual doctor treat you."
"I could replicate one."
Kathryn shook her head.
"How may I…" The doctor stopped mid statement and pressed his lips together for a second. "You again?"
"I just need an osteoregenerator."
"What did you do?"
"Got into a fight with a punching bag. It's a few micro fractures, they don't even hurt."
He looked at Janeway who shrugged with her brow. "Let me guess, metacarpal fractures."
Tegan nodded.
"You didn't tape your hand or wrist for support did you?"
"No."
"Gloves?"
"No."
He ran a scan and then probed the back of her hand with his thumb trying to get a pain response. "It really doesn't hurt?"
"No."
"Your head didn't hurt either, yet both Neelix and Naomi said you hit the back of it on a table."
"And your point?"
He cleared imaginary phlegm from his throat. "I was just making an observation."
"Can we just get this over with?" She looked at the device in his hand and tried not to sound irritated. She knew she had failed when she felt Kathryn's hand on her back, a calming force which she grabbed onto.
"She's not having a very good night." Janeway spoke to the EMH.
"Obviously."
"We went back to the mess hall."
"And you didn't pass out?"
"There were a whole seven people there." Tegan rolled her eyes as he ran the small handheld machine above her injured hand.
"How long did you make it?"
"Ten minutes." Janeway answered for her.
"Impressive."
"One step at a time, Doctor." Janeway's voice warned.
"Of course." He nodded. "You're all done."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Strip." The doors had barely closed when Kathryn sounded the command.
"What?" Tegan spun around and looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Strip, you know take your clothes off."
"In the middle of your living room?"
"Why not?"
"Is this your idea of playing Doctor?" Tegan stepped backward.
"It's my idea of getting you clean."
"I thought you said I didn't smell." She lifted her arm and lowered her nose to her pit.
"You don't but I know you, won't relax 'til you've showered."
"Are you going to join me?" She grinned already feeling the effects of her question on the other woman. Her own temperature rose right along with her.
"Maybe."
"You know you want to."
"Do I?"
"Uh huh." She licked her lower lip slowly with intent.
"Go," Kathryn pointed to the bathroom and stared at her firm butt as she turned and padded off in the general direction.
"You know you want a shower too." Tegan called over shoulder. She was soaping up her rag when she felt a void in the spray of water on her back and spun around to see a very beautiful, very naked Kathryn standing there blocking the shower spray. "There you are."
"Here I am." She lifted onto her toes to kiss Tegan's lips. Her hands pulled at the wash cloth in Tegan's fingers. "Let's get you clean."
"Just clean?"
"Uh huh." Kathryn nodded as she ran the soapy rag over the front of Tegan's chest.
"I thought when you took a shower with someone else the emphasis was on getting wet not clean?"
"It depends on the intention of the shower."
"And the intention of this shower?"
"To get you clean." She ran the wash cloth lower. "Now turn around."
"I do know how to wash myself." Tegan protested weakly as Kathryn suds up her back.
"I know." Kathryn kissed her shoulder before running the soapy rag over it.
Tegan turned around and kissed Kathryn pushing her back into the wall as she did. "I'm changing intentions." Her fingers slipped between them and found Kathryn was wet and it wasn't from the water that was cascading over them.
"Tegan." Her protest was feeble. "Don't waste the water."
"Don't waste the water?" She grabbed Kathryn's shoulders and spun them around so she could rinse off. She knew Kathryn wanted her as much as she wanted Kathryn, but if Kathryn could show self-restraint so could she. She wasn't one to be out done. "Fine, do you want me to clean your back before I get out?" Tegan didn't wait for her to respond as she grabbed a new cloth and soaped it up. She scrubbed Kathryn's back hard before handing her the wash cloth. "I'm getting out."
"Dry off but don't get dressed."
"You want me to sit on your couch naked?"
"I want you in my bed naked." Kathryn grinned.
Tegan was lying on her back with the sheet pulled up to her waist when Kathryn came into the bedroom as naked as the day she was born. "What's that in your hand?"
"A surprise. Roll over." Kathryn held the object in a closed fist until Tegan rolled over. She pulled the sheet down and straddled Tegan resting her weight on her rear. Tegan wiggled back against her. "Be still."
"You're no fun tonight." Tegan grumbled almost playfully. She could feel how turned on Kathryn was and not just from the moisture where their bodies touched. She felt something warm drip onto her back and before she could process what it was she felt those long thin fingers sliding over her back and gently digging into the knots it found. "Ohhh."
Kathryn smiled but didn't say anything as she continued her ministrations, the warm oil helping her hands to glide across the contours of Tegan's body. When she was finished Tegan was out for the count. She bent down and kissed her cheek before slipping on her night gown and going to the living room to read.
When she awoke it was to gentle kisses on her neck. She moaned softly in response.
"It's time to wake up if you want to have time for coffee before you're due on the bridge."
"Only time for coffee?" She rolled over and trailed her hand up the inside of Tegan's thigh.
"You can have sex or coffee before your duty shift starts, there isn't time for both." Tegan reciprocated by ghosting her thumb over one of Kathryn's nipples.
"Mmmm." Kathryn ran her fingers along Tegan's sex. "Coffee might be over rated."
"Think you could say that again so I can record it." She watched Kathryn smile and roll closer to kiss her.
"No."
"How come you got to put on a night gown?" Tegan pulled the material up out of the way and brushed her lips over her nipple as she slid her hand between Kathryn's legs and parted her with her fingers.
"Because you fell asleep before you could put clothes on."
"Uh huh." Tegan pushed her fingers up and ran her thumb roughly over the bundle of pulsating nerves.
Kathryn moaned into her ear.
"Dr. Kiser to Chakotay."
"Yes Doctor?"
"Captain Janeway is on her way to the bridge, you may want to have coffee waiting for her."
"Thanks." He was surprised when she walked on the bridge in a pleasant mood. Usually when she didn't have at least one but usually two cups of her beloved nectar of the gods before coming on duty heads rolled.
