I am an asshole.

I am a royal prick. I am whatever insults she threw at me.

Evans? What the hell was i thinking?

I was seeing red, not thinking straight, but that doesn't even excuse what I said. And damn, her expression when I called her Evans. She looked so damn stunned, and then if looks could kill I'd be dead ten times over.

I was looking for her to apologize, and i wrenched our friendship apart even further.

And why the fuck did I let Ciara insult her like that? Lily wouldn't have done the same thing if it was Shane.

I am a piece of shit. To make matters worse, Sirius comes and informs me matter of factly that I made Lily cry.

"Well, now you know how much of an asshole I am"

"Cmon mate, it was pretty harsh, but it's not irreversible damage, she probably did something to have you call her Evans"

"Well, if that wasn't irreversible, letting Ciara walk all over her was"

He's stunned. "Come again?"

Oh fuck, Lily didn't tell him everything.

"Well, why the hell were you having a heart to heart with Lily?" I snapped

He sees right through me. "Shut up, Prongs. You can't pull that anger crap on me. Tell me what's up. And for your information, I was talking to Felicity when Lily stormed in, saw us, and looked like a deer in headlights. I asked her what was wrong, if it was something to do with you, and she referred to you as Potter. I told her that was a little harsh, and she said you said that first. At which point, I felt like an idiot for defending your honor by the way, Prongs"

I grimaced. "Well, she bumped into me and started screaming at me for telling Ciara what happened, which I didn't even do, by the way, and then Ciara came and said some shit to Lily about her not acting like a friend, and I didn't even say anything to defend her"

It's Sirius's turn to grimace. "Well, you're in deep shit"

I put my head in my hands and muttered, "Tell me something I don't already know."