See Prologue for disclaimer and details. Greetings and salutations, o loyal readers and reviewers! Welcome to the latest installment of the story. Been a hell of a day, to quote good ol' Ted; a trip to the dentist, getting yelled at on the phone, and then getting stuck in traffic for a freaking hour on the way home - all because some idiot wasn't watching where he was going, or his brakes sucked, or whatever. Talk about your perfect storm of bad luck...but enough of the complaints, that's not what you're all here for! Now, some people have been wanting to know when Buffy will show up; well, here she is. And we hope you enjoy our AU version of 'Welcome To The Hellmouth'...
Part Five: Welcome To The Real World
Sunnydale High, Sunnydale
The next day
It was a sunny day, the start of tenth grade, and Harmony Kendall for one was really looking forward to it after her disastrous date recently. ( This year, I'm so gonna have to get some cute senior to be my new boyfriend. )
The ditzy blonde had met up with the rest of her clique, as Xander and Cordelia got out of their car. By this time, the once-unthinkable had become utterly commonplace: seeing those two arrive at school together was about as interesting as watching paint dry.
But then Harmony frowned. It appeared something different was in the air today, between her best friend and that retard. Cordelia was glaring furiously at Harris, but Xander didn't even appear to notice. He had the proverbial thousand-yard stare on his face, as well a bandage on his neck.
"Hey," the buxom blonde said to her friend, as Cordelia joined the pack. "Uh, I couldn't help noticing. What happened to Xander's neck?"
Miss Chase stared around briefly as she snorted, "Who cares? I mean, I heard Dawn mention something about how he accidentally stabbed himself with the barbecue fork last night-"
"What would that idiot want with a barbecue fork?" Aura interrupted in confusion.
"You think Xander's planning a career at the local butcher shop?" Joy giggled.
"No way! He's gonna end up a janitor at the local DMV!" Kate exclaimed.
"Yeah, right. Try the local Doublemeat Palace drive-through," Gwen scoffed.
Harmony noticed that Cordelia made no attempt to defend her housemate as their friends continued to denigrate the useless loser. ( Hmm, that's odd. Something's changed between them, I wonder what? Oooh, I know! I bet Xander tried to give it to her in the ass last night, and afterwards Cordelia stabbed him for it with the barbecue fork! Yeah, I gotta remember that one. )
Be that as it may a new girl, Buffy Summers, had arrived for her first day at a new school. And yet the blonde Slayer – who had been the Chosen One for just over a year – didn't even register on Xander's radar as she walked past him.
( Vampires are real, ) the male teen thought to himself for maybe the millionth time, as he walked towards Sunnydale High. ( I just...have I gone completely insane? Or have I just entered the freaking Twilight Zone? )
His distress and confusion were only natural. Entering the real world, which contained demons and vampires, was something that few humans could handle easily. And honestly, it was no wonder that most people repressed such knowledge to maintain their own sanity.
But Xander Harris wasn't most people. He had never been destined to be one of the sheep who lived in denial. And so as he walked past Jonathan, Jesse and Willow, Xander only muttered an absent "Hi" to them as he headed for his locker, his mind still trying to process everything.
Jonathan noticed Willow tense up at once. "Uh, Willow? Is something wrong?"
"Nuh-uh," the redhead replied at once. She hadn't told him or Jesse anything about what she'd learned outside the nightclub during the previous evening. Not just because of Cordelia's threats, but also because she just simply didn't want to say anything. With all her might, Willow was still trying to pretend last night had never happened, and that her life-long crush hadn't cruelly betrayed her that way.
"Hey, look!" Jesse exclaimed, discreetly pointing at Buffy. "New girl!"
Willow glanced around. "Oh, yeah, I heard someone was transferring."
"She's major leagues hot!" Jonathan nodded, his confidence having increased slightly from last year due to his strong friendship with these two.
"Gee. Is that all guys think about with regard to girls?" Willow rolled her eyes.
The J-men briefly glanced at one another. "Nah," they said in unison.
"We also want to know about their personality," Jesse told Willow.
"And their innermost feelings, and what their outlook on life is," Jonathan added.
"But then we forget about all that crap, and wonder if they're the flowers and candy type."
"If they're willing to consider making out on the first date."
"If they're willing to go beyond third base by the fourth date-"
"OKAY!" Willow shrieked, garnering the attention of some nearby students. "Okay. Y'know, too much detail."
Jonathan and Jesse laughed, the members of the 'dork squad' quickly apologizing for their little joke. "Sorry, Will. But at times, hey – it's kinda like you're just one of the guys, ya know?" McNally grinned at her.
( Great, I'm just one of the guys now. Hello, girl with girl parts here? Hey, I wonder if Xander also thought that way? Yeah, I bet he did, so it's no wonder he set his sights on Cordelia instead of me, ) Willow grumbled to herself.
Sunnydale High quad, Sunnydale
Lunchtime
Buffy Summers was thinking that she was having quite the interesting first day.
After her meeting with Principal Flutie she had failed to bump into Xander, who'd been elsewhere in the library at that point, looking up stuff on vampires. Still, she had met Cordelia and Willow earlier today, not to mention Creepy Librarian Guy.
( What was his name again, Gyles? Giles? Whatever. ) "Uh, hi! Willow, right?" the Slayer asked as she came to a stop.
The redhead looked up. "Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move?"
( Gee, nervous much? ) the Chosen One thought. "Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy' and, uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor. It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for a while." Buffy sat down, but made sure to give her companion her space.
Willow looked confused, and rightly so after what Cordy had said this morning in the school corridor. "But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
The Slayer just looked at her. "I can't do both?"
"Not legally. Well, I'm pretty sure anyway."
Buffy sighed, figuring she definitely had her work cut out for her. "Look, I really wanna get by here, new school and all, and...Cordelia's been really nice...to me...anyway, but, um, I kinda have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard this rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught up."
Willow loosened up immediately, as she always did at the thought of academic achievement. "Oh, I could totally help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library?"
The Chosen One couldn't think of a worse place to visit, given how she'd planned to retire from the Slayage gig and Giles had plopped a book on vampires in front of her at the first opportunity. "Or not. Maybe we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins."
The redhead nodded. "Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though. It's got a great collection of stuff, and the new librarian is really cool."
Buffy frowned. "He's new?"
"Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or the British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies, and am I the single dullest person alive?"
( Oh yeah, this girl has serious self-confidence issues! ) "Not at all," Buffy said reassuringly, trying not to smile.
Just then, Cordelia showed up. "Hey. Is this dweeb bothering you?" she asked the Slayer, barely glancing at Willow.
"Uh, no. We're good here," Buffy said, trying to be diplomatic.
The Chase girl looked like she didn't believe it. "Right, well, I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster – the woman with the chest hair – because gym was canceled due to-"
"Mind if I interrupt you ladies for a second?"
All three girls turned around at the sound of the male voice, and Buffy for one instantly liked what she saw. ( Hmm, not bad... ) She fully checked out the new arrival, something she would have never done under other circumstances. "Hey. I'm Buffy Summers."
"Xander Harris. Niiiice to meet you," the boy replied with a minor case of lust at first sight, before glancing at Cordelia and then Willow. The cybernerd would have introduced him to Buffy, but at the last moment had remembered how pissed she was at this guy right now.
"What do you want, loser?" Cordelia's voice was full of venom, still not having gotten over the whole 'We Hate Cordelia' thing from the previous evening.
Buffy instantly turned to stare at the brunette. ( Uh-oh. Definitely an ex of hers, no doubt about it. Betcha I'm gonna have to be real careful around him, whenever Cordelia's around! )
Xander took something out of his pocket and stepped forward. He gently placed it in Cordelia's hand, even though she tensed up the moment he touched her. Then Harris stepped back and said, "This, uh, it belongs to you. I just wanted to make sure you got it back safe and sound."
Cordelia scowled as she stared down at Xander's crucifix birthday present, tempted to throw it away again. "If I still wanted this piece of junk, don't you think I would have kept it after what happened last night?"
"What happened last night?" Buffy asked in confusion.
"Doesn't matter," Miss Chase growled, trying to banish those unhappy memories just like Willow was doing. "Look, Xander..."
Harris pulled Cordelia aside a bit, yet Willow could still just barely overhear them. "Please, Cordy. I'm sorry, okay? That whole thing with the 'We Hate Cordelia' club, it was just stupid kid stuff and I really regret it now. But for crying out loud, we were only eleven at the time!" Xander pleaded desperately.
Willow released an unladylike snort, and then instantly looked terrified as Cordelia glanced at her. "Does the ultimate guy repellent have any particular reason for snorting that way?" the brunette hissed.
"No! No," Willow said hastily.
"Good," Cordelia stated. "Glad to hear it."
"Me too. Uh, could you two possibly give me a moment alone with Willow?" Xander suddenly asked.
The female computer expert instantly looked unhappy with that scenario. "Like I said last night, mister, we have nothing further to say to one another!"
Cordelia was confused. "What? Why are you...I mean, I know why I'm pissed at the big dummy, but why are you acting like..." The young woman then looked like she'd just had an epiphany. "Oh my God! Willow, you finally decided to tell Xander about that ridiculous crush you've always had on him?"
"Hey!" Willow automatically objected, before remembering who she was talking to and cringing in fear. Unnoticed, Xander simply shook his head in dismay at the female antics.
Buffy was getting completely lost here. ( How the heck did I just wander into a scene from Beverly Hills 90210, in the middle of my first day in Pleasantville? ) "Uh, y'know what? I think I better get going."
As she started to leave, Cordelia remembered the original reason she'd sought out Buffy in the first place and rushed to inform the Slayer gym class had been cancelled due to the discovery of Darla's drained victim in the locker room. "Wait up! I need to tell you..."
Xander paid the receding voices no attention. "Willow, I'm begging you here. Just let me say my piece, and then afterwards if you still never want to talk to me again I'll respect that. But for old time's sake, plus the fact that you were the first friend I ever had. Please?"
Willow Rosenberg hated the fact that she couldn't hate Xander the way he deserved. "Okay. For all the times you defended me in public, not to mention the yellow crayon incident on the first day of kindergarten. Speak now and then forever hold your peace."
Xander was momentarily confused. "Uh, isn't it supposed to be 'or forever hold your'..." He trailed off, looking at Willow's upset face. "No, guess it doesn't at that. Look Willow, first of all, let me just say that I never knew. I mean, I never had the slightest idea that you felt that way-"
"Yeah, right. But Cordelia obviously knew, and she never mentioned anything?" Willow snapped bitterly.
Xander sighed. "Okay, look, for the record? She's not my girlfriend. It's just – during the summer Cordelia and I, well...we sort of, ah, had something romantic together-"
"WHAT?!"
Xander whirled around to see a red-faced and furious Jesse standing behind him, along with a stunned-looking Jonathan. ( Oh, crap! ) went briefly through Xander's mind, just before Jesse's fist knocked all thought clean out of him and the first schoolyard fight of the year started.
Principal's Office, Sunnydale High
A short while later
Bob Flutie sighed as he looked at the two dishevelled male specimens standing before him. "All right, what do you two have to say for yourselves? I mean, it's the first day of school, and already this sort of thing has started?"
Xander and Jesse remained silent, which was probably wise of them. One of the teachers had been nearby, when the fistfight had begun and the crowd had quickly gathered around the duo in question. That member of faculty had already told Flutie what had happened, but the principal also wanted to hear it direct from these two characters.
Bob looked at Xander. "I'm actually kind of surprised to see you in here, Harris." He glanced at Jesse, "You as well, to be honest, McNally. You've both never struck me as the troublemaker type. So come on, boys, let's try and work this out shall we? Tell me what happened."
"It was my fault, sir. I started it," Jesse blurted out, deciding to confess.
"It wasn't all his fault, sir, I mean, Jesse had a right to be upset after thinking I'd stolen his girl," Xander immediately added.
( Ah, right. I should have known there'd be a girl involved in this, somehow. ) Bob adjusted his glasses, trying to decide what would be suitable punishment for a first offense. "All right, what the heck. Both of you have a week's detention for this little episode, starting today. And if it ever happens again, there'll be no further leniency; it'll be suspension for the both of you. Understood?"
The two chastened youths simply nodded, and then vacated the office when Flutie gestured for them to leave. Jesse strode away as soon as he could, before Xander called out, "Hey, wait up! Just gimme a chance to explain-"
McNally growled at once, "Are you trying to get both of us suspended? Look, Xander, what you did in there for me just now – it changes nothing. Our friendship is over, so take a hike!"
The words were like an arrow straight to the heart, and Xander sagged at the realization in guilt and shame. "One chance to talk, that's all I'm asking. Please?"
Jesse was cursing himself for all kinds of a fool when he reluctantly nodded, and the pair stepped into an empty classroom. "You got thirty seconds, so make it snappy."
"I'm sorry. Okay? I mean, I didn't plan for it to happen or anything, it just sorta...it was only a summer fling, and I ended it as soon as we came back from La Paz," Xander tried to explain.
"You did what!?" Jesse demanded, forgetting about the self-imposed time limit. "You kissed Cordelia, and then treated her like she was just some sort of cheap-"
"SHE kissed ME, actually. And I...I'm sorry, Jesse, but I-I-I simply couldn't resist her anymore. I knew it was wrong, especially with me and Dawn living in the Chase mansion like that, but still – I just couldn't help myself!"
Jesse strove to calm himself down. ( Cordy made the first move instead of you? Yeah, right! ) "I thought you were my friend, y'know. But instead, you're like the Sunnydale version of the Unabomber! I mean, how deluded was I?"
"No, it's not like that – I am your friend! Jesse, you and Wills are the only real friends I've got!" Xander pleaded desperately.
Jesse snorted. "Look, Xander, you can say that all you want. But the truth is, we're not friends anymore. Jonathan's my best friend nowadays, not you. You, you're just a lousy girlfriend stealer!"
Xander's pride wouldn't let him accept that particular insult, though, however guilty he was feeling. "Except Cordelia's not your girlfriend, Jesse. Never has been either. Look, I may be complete scum but I'm not a liar. Cordy's always felt the way she has about you, long before I ever entered the picture. And deep down, you gotta know that by now," Harris said passionately.
"Plus, if it hadn't been me over the summer, it just would've been someone else – like maybe Pedro the cabana boy. I mean, don't you remember all the jocks Cordelia dated last year? I'm sorry, but the truth is as far as Cordy's concerned – you and her were never meant to be," Xander said sadly.
Jesse did not want to acknowledge that from this asshole of all people. And yet, there was the nasty suspicion after all those rejections...that Xander might just be right. "All right, let's hear it. Start from the beginning, what happened exactly between you two?"
Xander hesitated, but then began to spill everything. Including that first kiss back in March. Jesse initially couldn't believe his ears but as he thought about it, it all started to make a horrible kind of sense. The angry looks he had seen Cordelia send Xander back then, the ones mixed with something else that he now suspected had been longing or desire, suddenly appeared very different to the McNally boy.
"Jesse, yo. Are you okay?" Xander had to ask as he saw his ex-friend's face fall.
"No. I'd say I'm about as far from okay as I could ever possibly be," Jesse muttered as he collapsed into a chair. The phrase 'guys like me just aren't what Cordy's looking for' having surfaced in his mind from an old conversation.
"You mean, you actually believe me? 'Cause I thought for sure you'd just automatically assume-"
"Hey! I'm not a moron, damn it!" Jesse hissed, as he got up again. "Look, Xander, I'm very upset with you right now, understand? But I also figure that if Cordelia has her sights set on you and you ended it that way, then it's your mess to clean up, and maybe I should just wait until she's gotten you out of her system." Then Jesse got a contemplative look on his face. "Besides, there are other fish in the sea. There's a new girl in town, ya know, I heard her name's Buffy or something..."
"Buffy Summers. I met her today," Xander said promptly.
With an unfriendly look, Jesse quickly left the room.
"Great," Xander sighed to himself, figuring that he should hurry up and get to his next class as he exited the empty room as well.
The Bronze, Sunnydale
The next night
Young Mr. Harris was pretty sure that he was going to die.
The previous day, after he'd left the school once detention was over, Xander had gone home to explain what had happened to David and Julia. Well, sort of. The teen had also considered telling them the truth about vampires, but less than a moment later decided to keep his mouth shut. Even though Xander got along okay with the Chase elders these days, there was no point taking chances about getting separated from Dawn if they started thinking he was crazy.
Thus, Xander had missed out on a lot of important stuff that had happened last night, including Buffy and Angel's first meeting, Willow and Buffy's little heart to heart, and Jesse and Cordelia's ugly conversation within the nightclub. He'd also missed Willow and Jesse being taken by vampires, the redhead and Jonathan discovering the real world all around them, and McNally ending up as one of the undead.
Harris had looked for his ex-friend today, but to no avail. Still, when Cordelia had emphatically stated that nothing was going to keep her from the Bronze on a Friday night, Xander had figured he'd better follow her there to make sure she remained safe. He was especially motivated after Miss Chase had come home last night, ranting how Buffy Summers was a psycho loony who'd tried to stab her with a pointy stick.
What Xander hadn't expected was for vampires to invade the Bronze tonight, since he had no idea this was the night of the Harvest. The ritual to free the Master. It started when Vamp Jesse grabbed Cordelia for a dance, even though she instantly started calling him a caveman brain and tried to get loose.
Then Luke got on stage, and the killing began. As everyone started to scream and run Xander shoved his cross into Vamp Jesse's face and said, "Cordelia! Go, damn it, get outta here!"
But the fledgling, even though he was vamped out and growling in pain from the holy icon's presence, refused to let go of his prize so easily. "Well, if it isn't Cordy's black knight to the rescue. You still don't get it though, do you? Cordelia's mine. And tonight you die!"
The undead villain had the teenage girl in his grasp as Xander spotted more vampire game faces not far behind them. So Harris switched tactics, "Jesse, man, I'm sorry. Who did this to you?"
"Xndr!" Cordelia gurgled in annoyance, Vamp Jesse's forearm still tight across her throat.
"How come you're interested?" The teenage vampire looked genuinely curious. "Oh, what the hell. Her name's Darla, actually."
A black hatred was instantly born in Xander's heart for that blonde-haired she-demon. ( Okay. One day, she and I are gonna settle accounts for this! ) "Jesse-"
Cordelia suddenly got tired of being the damsel in distress and tried to get away from her assailant by herself. "Leggo, y'asshole!" she choked out.
"Hold still, you bitch! You're not doing yourself any favors struggling!" Vamp Jesse snarled, his game face only inches from her neck.
Xander instantly brought out a stake and raised it up high. "Jesse, don't make me do it!"
The soulless teen paused as Buffy arrived at the club to challenge the Vessel, which was Luke's new designation from the Master as part of the Harvest. And interesting historical sidebar, but the Chosen One had no idea how lucky she was to be alive right now; given that it had been Jonathan instead of Xander who had accompanied her on that rescue mission down into the sewers. But in any case, Giles, Willow and Jonathan started trying to get everyone out of the Bronze at Buffy's signal.
Eyes narrowing after seeing this, Vamp Jesse unexpectedly tossed Cordelia aside and, with supernatural speed, shoved Xander up against the wall. "Buddy!"
He punctuated that remark with sharp blows to the chest and stomach, knocking the wind out of the mortal. "What were you thinking? That maybe you'd 'save' me somehow? Ha! Look at me, Xander, I'm a new man! Exactly the type that Cordelia's been looking for. And y'know what? After tonight, I might just spread my wings a little. Like Cassandra, for example. Or maybe even Dawn-"
There was no conscious decision to do it; but nonetheless, with a superhuman effort and despite the claws around his throat, Xander brought up the stake and tried to send it into Vamp Jesse's heart. The undead thing laughed out loud. He stopped laughing, though, when a fleeing patron impaled him directly onto Xander's stake by bumping into him at precisely the wrong moment.
Vamp Jesse hissed as Xander let go of the weapon. Then the demon exploded into dust before he could even get another sound out.
( Oh my God. I just staked him? ) Xander almost couldn't believe it, or the fact that his first kill had left the taste of ashes in his mouth. Then he mentally shook himself as the remains settled on the floor; he had to grab Cordelia and get her out of here.
Luckily, the Scooby Gang was on the ball and Luke ended up dust as well. The Master remained mystically imprisoned in that underground church, after the ritual to free him failed. For her part, Darla fled the scene after getting hit by Willow's holy water directly in the face.
As Xander and Cordelia exited the Bronze en masse with the other patrons, Angel watched from within the shadows. "She actually did it!" he muttered to himself, now suspecting that Buffy was capable of a lot more than he'd given her credit for.
Standing alongside him, Robe Boy did not share that suspicion at all.
Sunnydale High, Sunnydale
Three days later
Buffy was walking along on the grass, and thanks to that good old Slayer hearing she overheard Cordelia say, "Well, I heard it was rival gangs. You know, fighting for turf. But all I can tell you is they were way ugly-looking. And Buffy, like, knew them! Which is just too weird. I mean I don't even remember that much, but I'm telling you – it was a total freak show! Especially that king of the freaks, Jesse."
( Great, she doesn't remember the vampires, but she remembered I was there? ) the Chosen One thought to herself sourly. ( My social life is dead in the water. )
"I heard because he didn't show for detention, Flutie's suspended him," one of the Cordettes said about Jesse.
"Well, color me surprised," Cordelia said archly. "Anyway, the way he and Xander started fighting again that night? It was just too much..."
Buffy shook her head and soon met up with her Watcher and the two new Slayerettes. Jonathan, Willow and Buffy then made some puerile comments, as the four of them walked and talked. Giles muttered, "The Earth is doomed!" after they parted ways, wondering if it was too late to request a transfer back to England.
The Council operative soon went back to his library, only to find Xander examining his private book collection. "Young man, w-what on earth do you think you're doing?" Rupert demanded, as he suddenly spied which tomes Harris was looking at.
Xander held up the volumes at the table. "Okay, 'Blood Rites And Sacrifices'? Not to mention, 'Malleus Maleficarum'? Wanna tell me exactly which school subjects these are for?"
( Oh, bugger! ) Giles thought to himself hurriedly. "Th-they're not for the students. They're part of my private collection, nothing to do with you lot. Now kindly explain yourself before I report you to the principal-"
"I saw you at the Bronze last Friday night," Xander cut him off.
That stopped Giles cold. "I, I don't know what you're talking about."
"You helped us all get out of there, along with Buffy, Will and Jonathan. And after everything went crazy and you people showed up, I heard a lot of the bad guys calling out 'Slayer!' So, ya wanna tell me what's up with that?"
( He doesn't know about Buffy or the vampires? Well, so much the better. ) "That's none of your business," Giles replied. "And as for whatever happened that night, you'd be well advised to just forget it and get on with your life-"
"Who the hell do you think you are, telling me to just forget what I know?" Harris interrupted angrily, fed up with having his world turned completely upside down. "Because maybe that's how you do things over there in the land of the bangers and mash, mister, but this is Sunnydale. And no one with a big British flag up his butt is gonna treat me like an idiot! I saw what happened at the Bronze on Friday night, I saw that bouncer get killed right in front of me. And I'll never forget that. NEVER!" Xander hissed.
Giles didn't like the look in this boy's eyes, even if he knew it was somewhat understandable. But what he didn't know was that Xander wasn't motivated out of concern for his own life. His fear was that one day he'd have to stake Cordelia, Cassandra, or God help him – maybe even Dawn, if what had happened to Jesse happened to them as well.
The rest of the conversation was fairly strained, before Xander finally left the library. He suspected Giles now thought he was some teenage fruitcake, or whatever they called it over there in the country of Tweed Men. But it didn't matter. If people underestimated you – like when he and Vamp Jesse had recently thrown down – so much the better.
The alley outside the Bronze, Sunnydale
Quite a while later
Xander waited alone, suspecting someone would soon be joining him from inside the Bronze. He wasn't wrong either, as a male form soon materialized out of the shadows.
"You wanted to talk to me, Harris?" Angel asked calmly.
"How'd you know that?" Xander took a step back.
"You're afraid of me? That's smart of you. You shouldn't get comfortable around a vampire," the ensouled creature commented, not answering the question.
"I did some research today," Xander said carefully. "That vampire called Darla. She's got quite the history, I gotta say."
"And?" Angel didn't like where he thought this conversation was going. And sure enough, the question he'd dreaded soon came.
"Well, I remember what name she called you that night. Angelus, I mean. And if you're him...well, you're sure not acting like the Scourge of Europe I read about," Xander declared.
Angel pseudo-sighed. "Believe me, Harris, if I was still the same soulless bastard I was nearly one hundred years ago? We wouldn't be having this conversation. I'd have eviscerated you and over half the town by now instead. Because for a hundred and fifty years I offered ugly death to nearly everyone I met, and believe you me, I did it with a song in my heart."
"So what changed?" the human asked, stubborn and persistent to get to the bottom of the matter.
Angel shrugged. "I fed on a girl about your age. Beautiful. Dumb as a post. But still, a favorite among her clan."
"Her clan?"
The vampire explained, "Romany. Gypsies. They roamed all over Europe then, and still do so today. Their elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul."
"Huh?" Xander was now clearly lost.
"Yeah, we didn't cover this the other night. Still, when you become a vampire, the demon takes your body. But it doesn't get your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse...all things considered, Harris, it's a hell of a way to live. But then someone comes along and curses you with said conscience. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and to care." Angel seemed even more haunted than usual, and suddenly wondered why he was unburdening himself on this ignorant child of all people.
( So that's why Jesse was acting like that in the Bronze last Friday. Guess that makes sense, ) Xander cogitated, even as the guilt threatened to consume him all over again. "But Darla isn't like that, is she?"
"No. Why?" Angel wanted to know.
"She killed a friend of mine, so I'm planning to kill her for that," Xander said simply.
The vampire shook his head. "Don't be stupid, Harris. Lose the van Helsing fantasy, because this is real life," he demanded brusquely. "You go up against Darla, odds are she'll kill you before I can save you."
"I'm not saying it's gonna be easy-"
"Besides, she's the vampire that made me," Angel went on relentlessly. "Darla knows all my moves, both literally and figuratively. It's too risky, so go home and just try to keep the ones you love safe. That's more than what I was ever able to do." Before Xander could respond Angel, vanished into the darkness.
Xander stared after him, but refused to give up on staking the blonde vampiress with all his heart. Even at this age, he was funny about revenge that way.
TBC...
