Hey guys. So I've been trying to post a chapter every week since I decided to start writing again, but these past few weeks, I was just so exhausted that it took me forever to start writing this chapter. I just wanted to sit my ass on the couch and watch TV. Today I'm finally getting around to it though. Just had a surge of energy all of the sudden...well the writing kind. Don't be expecting me to actually leave the house today.

If you're wondering why I'm so exhausted, it's because I've been under so much stress lately. Like the panic attack and migraine-inducing kind of stress. I had a really bad manic episode the other day too and ended up going to the hospital at four in the morning. Thankfully they didn't make me stay there overnight, but I have to go back on Monday. If I'm lucky, I'll actually get a diagnosis.

I'll try to write as much as possible next week (two chapters maybe? To make up for the one I didn't write last week) but no promises. I'm supposed to work, but I was also supposed to work this week, but my dad called in and told them I would be out sick until at least Tuesday because it just stresses me out SO MUCH that I've actually been considering ways to break both of my arms so I won't be able to make burgers for six to eight weeks. My advice: If you are prone to stress and/or anxiety, DO NOT WORK IN FAST FOOD. Especially a big chain like Wendy's where it is busy, busy, busy during lunchtime. Proof of how stressful it is: My parents, who are big fans of that whole "stick with it" thing are telling me to quit. They've actually said they'll call in and quit for me because even just the thought of calling again makes me hyperventilate. Have I mentioned I love my parents? Like, honestly, sometimes I hate them, but they put up with so much bullshit from me (most of it beyond my control, but still) As parents go, they're not terrible...most of the time.

Enjoy your chapter.


Nico's POV

"Are you sure you want to be here?" Malena asked. "Because I know you said you don't like going to my doctor's appointments."

"I'm sure," I answered, trying to sound confident. "This is different. This is about the baby." These past few months, Malena had done little more than obsess about the baby. I'd been trying my best to appear excited, even though I really wasn't feeling it. What did I know about being a parent? Sonny and Chad kept telling me that once the baby was born, it would all come naturally, while Tawni constantly bitched about how being a father was nothing compared to being a mother ("What are you crying about? You're not the one who has to carry a baby around for nine months.") but it didn't really do anything to reassure me. I just couldn't help but think about everything that could go wrong. What if I sucked at parenting and Malena hated me? Or worse, what if she wasn't around to hate me?

"Nico, what do you think?" Malena asked, interrupting my train of thought.

"What do I think about what?"

"Do you want to find out the sex of the baby or not?"

"Um..." I had gotten so lost in thought I had almost forgotten where we were and what we were doing here. I hadn't planned on coming with Malena for her ultrasound, but she had looked so excited about it, so I couldn't say no.

"You pick," I answered. I was telling her decide on everything these days. I just wanted her to be as happy as possible. Or maybe I just didn't care.

"I'd rather it be a surprise," Malena told me. "I know most people like to know the sex beforehand, but I guess I'm just old-fashioned. What about names? I was thinking maybe Gilbert if it's a boy?"

"Nice," I agreed automatically. Malena opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Doctor White walked in.

"Hi, Malena," she said. "And..." she glanced at her clipboard. "Nico, right?" I nodded. "Alright, Malena, you can just lay down right over there and we'll get started."

I stood awkwardly in the corner and watched as the doctor lifted up Malena's shirt and put a deice to her stomach. A few seconds later, a blurry, black and white image showed up on the nearby moniter.

"Do you know how far along you are, Malena?" Doctor White asked., moving the device around and keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Ten weeks today," Malena answered, watching the screen as intently as the doctor.

"There's the baby," Doctor White announced. "See its little heartbeat?"

"Aww," Malena cooed. "Nico, come here." I walked across the room and Malena gripped my hand tightly. "Look at our baby." Baby? I guess it had a sort of baby-like shape, but it still just looked like a blob on the screen. Wasn't I supposed to feel something? Love? Happiness? Anything? What kind of monster couldn't even muster up one emotion for his own child? I looked at Malena. She had tears in her eyes. I faked a smile and she smiled back.

"Are you sure it's ten weeks?" the doctor asked, continuing to study the image on the monitor.

"Positive," Malena answered immediately. "Why?"

"Is she okay?" I asked. Every possibility of what could be wrong with Malena started running through my head. But before I could start to panic, the doctor spoke.

"Malena's fine," she assured me. "It's just the baby's a little smaller than normal."

"But it's okay, right?" Malena asked. "Nothing to be worried about?" She smiled hopefully, but the doctor didn't smile back.

"At this point, it's too early to tell," Malena's grip on my hand tightened. "My best guess, though, is that the chemo may be causing this. Especially this early in the pregnancy, there have been cases where chemotherapy has damaged the baby's organs and..." Doctor White trailed off.

"And what?" Malena urged.

"Well, if you continue chemo, there's a chance your baby might have a birth defect or...it might not even survive."

"I'll stop chemo then," Malena announced.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Malena, you can't. If you do, how do you expect to ever get better?"

"I have to agree with your husband, Malena," the doctor told her. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care about your baby, it's just that your health is my number one priority."

"And my number one priority is this baby," Malena replied.

"But if you die, this baby doesn't have a chance," Doctor White pointed out.

"Then I won't die," she answered. "I can do this. I know I can."

"Think about it," the doctor told her. "Please? Come back next week and we can talk about it more then."

"Fine," Malena agreed. "But don't expect my answer to change. My mind is made up."


"Nico, wait!" I didn't answer. I just threw open the door to the doctor's office and stormed out into the parking lot. "Come on, Nico, I'm exhausted, don't make me chase you."

"Fine," I answered, stopping in my tracks. "If you promise you won't stop chemo."

"I can't do that, Nico." she answered. I started walking away from her again. "Why are you so mad at me?"

"Why am I mad at you?" I repeated. "Wouldn't you be mad at me if I was risking my life for a stupid fetus?"

"It's not a stupid!" Malena half-screamed at me. "How could you say something like that about our baby?" People were starting to stare at us, so I resisted the urge to yell back.

"I just don't want you to lose sight of what's important here," I explained.

"And what's that?"

"You getting better."

"And what about the baby, huh? It just doesn't matter anymore?"

"I never said that."

"I can't believe how selfish you're being?"

"Selfish?" I shouted. More people were started to stare, but I didn't care anymore. "How is me wanting you to live selfish?"

"You're ignoring what I want," she shouted back.

"So what I want isn't important anymore? Is that it?"

"I told you, I'm not going to die."

"You can't know that!"

"Yes I can!"

"I can't believe you love that stupid baby more than you love me?"

"Now you're just putting words into my mouth."

"I don't hear you denying it."

"Go to hell!"

"You go to hell!"

Next thing I knew, I was getting slapped across the face. I remember thinking afterwards that I probably deserved it, but right now I was too mad to be thinking about anything. It was like all the emotion I hadn't felt in months was finally exploding out of me.

"Fine! If you want to kill yourself, go ahead! Just don't expect me to stick around and watch!" Malena got in my car, slammed the door and drove away. "And Gilbert is a fucking stupid name!"


Writing Nico chapters is depressing. Don't be too hard on him though guys. I'd probably be pretty upset too if I were him. I'd like to think I would have handled it better, but I really can't say for sure whether I would have. I would probably care more about the baby than he does too because, as you probably know by now, I'm obsessed with children.

Also, what's with all the doctor's appointments in this story. So far, we're three for three. I didn't even realize it would turn out that way until I started writing this chapter. By the way, have you guys noticed I really like writing about babies and pregnant chicks. Just look at most of my stories and you'll realize that there's almost always a pregnant girl in them...Except for my other Sonny With a Chance story which I kind of abandoned...right after posting an author's note saying I wasn't going to finish the story and then laughing at people for falling for my prank...Oops? I also just realized I haven't worked on my Harry Potter story in ages, but I have an excuse for that. I'm still not quite sure where it's going...although knowing me, probably Sirius/Remus slash. ;) But I haven't really decided yet. And then there's a new project I'm working on. But I'm not telling you about it yet because I've only done the plot and character outlines and I don't plan to even start writing it until this story's done. And also, I might never get around to posting it. I will tell you this though-it's Batman related.

Speaking of Batman, I got a new trade paperback from Chapters. I also got A Study in Scarlet because I have never read the Sherlock Holmes books until now. No clue why. But guess what my favourite line is so far. No, seriously, guess. Okay, fine, I'll tell you.

So Sherlock's explaining how he knew the guy outside was a retired marine sergeant and then...

"Wonderful" I ejaculated.

;)

Tell me again how John isn't gay for Sherlock?

Okay, so maybe I'm immature, but you have to admit, that's funny as hell. And it also gives me a solid argument in romance vs. bromance discussions. Just admit it guys, John has the hots for Sherlock. (PS. Watch the show Sherlock. It's great!)

Oh, and guess what? My brother bought the Hogwarts Lego set ($190!) and we just finished building it together. He keeps getting mad at me for putting Lego Dumbledore on the ground and Snape on top of the astronomy tower holding his wand out. Narcissa and Lucius are up there too looking happy, because those are the only death eaters I have...well, I don't think Narcissa's a real death eater, but close enough. I need to buy him the burrow for his birthday though so he can have a Lego Bellatrix.

Well, I guess that's it. Sorry for these huge long author's notes, but I NEED TO TALK TO PEOPLE. I swear, I like never have anyone to talk to since my best friend's always working. And my family is no fun to talk to (except my brother. He gets my jokes.) and people on Omegle are creepers. So talk to me guys! Send me messages, reviews, tell me about your life, tell me a joke you heard, recommend some good fanfiction, just PLEASE TALK TO ME! I'M SO LONELY!

That is all.

Peace out Suckahs!